Upon this last article, I could humbly wish that the reverend the clergy
would set us an example, by contenting themselves with wearing gowns,
and other habiliments of Irish drapery; which, as it would be some
incitement to the laity, and set many hands to work; so they would find
their advantage in the cheapness; which is a circumstance not to be
neglected by too many among that venerable body.[6] And, in order to
this, I could heartily desire, that the most ingenious artists of the
weaving trade, would contrive some decent stuffs and silks for
clergymen, at reasonable rates.[7]

[Footnote 6: This hath since been put in practice, by the persuasions,
and influence of the supposed author; but much defeated by the most
infamous fraud of shop-keepers. [F.]]

[Footnote 7: This scheme was likewise often urged to the weavers by the
supposed author; but he could never prevail upon them to put it in
practice. [F.]]

I have pressed several of our most substantial brethren, that the whole
corporation of weavers in silk and woollen, would publish some
proposals, (I wish they would do it to both Houses of Parliament)
inviting persons of all degrees, and of both sexes, to wear the woollen
and silk manufactures of our own country; entering into solemn, mutual
engagements, that the buyer shall have good, substantial, merchantable
ware for his money; and at a certain rate, without the trouble of
cheapening: So that, if I sent a child for a piece of stuff of a
particular colour and fineness, I should be sure not to be deceived; or
if I had reason to complain, the corporation should give me immediate
satisfaction; and the name of the tradesman who did me the wrong, should
be published; and warning given not to deal with him for the future;
unless the matter plainly appeared to be a mistake: For, besides the
trouble of going from shop to shop; an ignorant customer runs the hazard
of being cheated in the price and goodness of what he buys; being forced
to an unequal combat with a dexterous, and dishonest man, in his own
calling. Thus our goods fall under a general disreputation; and the
gentry call for English cloth, or silk, from an opinion they have (and
often too justly by our own faults) that the goodness more than makes up
for the difference of price.

Besides, it hath been the sottish and ruinous practice of us tradesmen,
upon any great demand of goods, either at home or from abroad, to raise
the prices immediately, and manufacture the said goods more slightly and
fraudulently than before.

Of this foul and foolish proceeding, too many instances might be
produced; and I cannot forbear mentioning one, whereby this poor kingdom
hath received such a fatal blow in the only article of trade allowed us
of any importance that nothing but the success of Wood's project, could
outdo it. During the late plague in France, the Spaniards, who buy their
linen cloths in that kingdom, not daring to venture thither for fear of
infection; a very great demand was made here for that commodity, and
exported to Spain: But, whether by the ignorance of the merchants, or
dishonesty of the Northern weavers, or the collusion of both; the ware
was so bad, and the price so excessive, that except some small
quantity, which was sold below the prime cost, the greatest part was
returned back: And I have been told by very intelligent persons, that if
we had been fair dealers, the whole current of the linen trade to Spain
would have taken its course from hence.

If any punishment were to be inflicted on numbers of men; surely there
could none be thought too great for such a race of traitors, and enemies
to God and their country; who for the prospect of a little present gain,
do not only ruin themselves, (for that alone would be an example to the
rest, and a blessing to the nation) but sell their souls to hell, and
their country to destruction; And, if the plague could have been
confined only to these who were partakers in the guilt, had it travelled
hither from Marseilles, those wretches would have died with less title
to pity, than a highwayman going to the gallows.

But, it happens very unluckily, that, for some time past, all endeavours
or proposals from private persons, to advance the public service;
however honestly and innocently designed, have been called _flying in
the King's face:_ And this, to my knowledge, hath been the style of some
persons, whose ancestors, (I mean those among them who had any) and
themselves, have been flying in princes' faces these fourscore years;
and from their own inclinations would do so still, if their interest did
not lead them rather to fly in the face of a kingdom; which hath given
them wings to enable them for such a flight.

Thus, about four years ago, when a discourse was published, endeavouring
to persuade our people to wear their own woollen manufactures,[8] full
of the most dutiful expressions to the King, and without the least party
hint; it was termed "flying in the King's face;" the printer was
prosecuted in the manner we all remember; (and, I hope, it will
somewhere be remembered further) the jury kept eleven hours, and sent
back nine times, till they were under the necessity of leaving the
prisoner to the mercy of the court, by a special verdict. The judge on
the bench invoking God for his witness, when he asserted, that the
author's design was to bring in the Pretender.[9]

[Footnote 8: This was Swift's pamphlet entitled, "A Proposal for the
Universal Use of Irish Manufactures." [T.S.]]

[Footnote 9: The action and language of Justice Whitshed. [T.S.]]

And thus also, my own poor endeavours to prevent the ruin of my country,
by the admission of Wood's coin, was called by the same persons, "flying
in the King's face;" which I directly deny: For I cannot allow that
vile representation of the royal countenance in William Wood's
adulterate copper, to be his Sacred Majesty's face; or if it were, my
flying was not against the impression, but the baseness of the metal;
because I well remembered; that the image which Nebuchadnezzar
"commanded to be set up, for all men to fall down and worship it," was
not of _copper_, but pure _gold_. And I am heartily sorry, we have so
few royal images of that metal among us; the sight whereof, although it
could hardly increase our veneration for His Majesty, which is already
so great; yet would very much enliven it with a mixture of comfort and
satisfaction.

Alexander the Great, would suffer no statuary, except Phidias, to carve
his image in stone or metal. How must he have treated such an operator
as Wood, who goes about with sackfuls of dross; odiously misrepresenting
his Prince's countenance; and would force them, by thousands, upon every
one of us, at above six times the value.

But, notwithstanding all that hath been objected by William Wood
himself; together with his favourers, abettors, supporters, either
public or private; by those who connive at his project, or discourage
and discountenance his opposers, for fear of lessening their favour, or
hazarding their employments; by those who endeavour to damp the spirit
of the people raised against this coin; or check the honest zeal of such
as by their writings, or discourses, do all they can to keep it up:
Those softeners, sweeteners, compounders; and expedient-mongers, who
shake their heads so strongly, that we can hear their pockets jingle; I
did never imagine, that, in detecting the practices of such enemies to
the kingdom, I was "flying in the King's face"; or thought they were
better representers of His Majesty, than that very coin, for which they
are secret or open advocates.

If I were allowed to recite only those wishes of the nation, which may
be in our power to attain; I think they might be summed up in these few
following.

First, That an end might be put to our apprehensions of Wood's
halfpence, and to any danger of the like destructive scheme for the
future.

Secondly; That halfpence might be coined in this kingdom, by a public
mint, with due limitations.

Thirdly, That the sense of both Houses of Parliament, at least of the
House of Commons, were declared by some unanimous and hearty votes,
against wearing any silk or woollen manufactures, imported from abroad,
as likewise against wearing Indian silks or calicoes, which are
forbidden under the highest penalties in England: And it behoves us, to
take example from so wise a nation; because we are under a greater
necessity to do so, since we are not allowed to export any woollen
manufactures of our own; which is the principal branch of foreign trade
in England.

Fourthly, That some effectual methods may be taken to civilize the
poorer sort of our natives, in all those parts of this kingdom where the
Irish abound; by introducing among them our language and customs; for
want of which they live in the utmost ignorance, barbarity and poverty;
giving themselves wholly up to idleness, nastiness, and thievery, to the
very great and just reproach of too many landlords. And, if I had in me
the least spirit of a projector, I would engage that this might be
effected in a few years, at a very inconsiderable charge.[10]

[Footnote 10: Since this hint was suggested, several useful seminaries
have been instituted, under the name of "Charter Working Schools," in
Ireland, supported by the royal benefaction of a thousand pounds a year,
by a tax on hawkers and pedlars, and by voluntary subscriptions. The
schools are for the education of boys and girls born of Popish parents;
in most of them, the children manufacture their own clothing, and the
boys are employed in matters relative to husbandry. [F.]

These Charter Schools, founded by Marsh, Bishop of Clogher, and adopted
by Primate Boulter in 1733, were intended "to rescue the souls of
thousands of poor children from the dangers of Popish superstition and
idolatry, and their bodies from the miseries of idleness and beggary."
In reality the scheme was one by which it was hoped to prevent the
growth of Catholicism. The conditions and methods of instruction were
positively cruel, since the children were actually withheld from any
communication with their parents. Mr. Lecky deals with the subject fully
in the first volume of his "Ireland in the Eighteenth Century," Froude
gives the scheme his praise and admiration, but at the time of its
institution it was the cause of "an intensity of bitterness hardly
equalled by any portion of the penal code. Parents would rather do
anything than send their children into such prisons where, at last, they
would receive an education which, to their minds, must lead them to
forfeit their soul's salvation." [T.S.]]

Fifthly, That due encouragement should be given to agriculture; and a
stop put to that pernicious practice of graziers; engrossing vast
quantities of land, sometimes at great distance; whereby the country is
extremely depopulated.

Sixthly, That the defects in those acts for planting forest trees, might
be fully supplied, since they have hitherto been wholly ineffectual;
except about the demesnes of a few gentlemen; and even there, in
general, very unskilfully made, and thriving accordingly. Neither hath
there yet been due care taken to preserve what is planted, or to enclose
grounds; not one hedge, in a hundred, coming to maturity, for want of
skill and industry. The neglect of copsing woods cut down, hath likewise
been of very ill consequences. And if men were restrained from that
unlimited liberty of cutting down their own woods before the proper
time, as they are in some other countries; it would be a mighty benefit
to the kingdom. For, I believe, there is not another example in Europe,
of such a prodigious quantity of excellent timber cut down, in so short
a time, with so little advantage to the country, either in shipping or
building.

I may add, that absurd practice of cutting turf, without any regularity;
whereby great quantities of restorable land are made utterly desperate,
many thousands of cattle destroyed, the turf more difficult to come at,
and carry home, and less fit for burning; the air made unwholesome by
stagnating pools and marshes; and the very sight of such places
offensive to those who ride by. Neither should that odious custom be
allowed, of cutting scraws, (as they call them) which is flaying off the
green surface of the ground, to cover their cabins; or make up their
ditches; sometimes in shallow soils, where all is gravel within a few
inches; and sometimes in low ground, with a thin greensward, and sloughy
underneath; which last turns all into bog, by this mismanagement. And,
I have heard from very skilful country-men, that by these two practices
in turf and scraws, the kingdom loseth some hundreds of acres of
profitable land every year; besides the irreparable loss of many skirts
of bogs, which have a green coat of grass, and yet are mangled for turf;
and, besides the want of canals, by regular cutting, which would not
only be a great convenience for bringing their turf home at an easy
rate; but likewise render even the larger bogs more dry and safe, for
summer pasture.

These, and some other speculations of the like kind, I had intended to
publish in a particular discourse against this session of Parliament;
because, in some periods of my life, I had opportunity and curiosity to
observe, from what causes those great errors, in every branch of country
management, have arisen; of which I have now ventured to relate but few,
out of very many; whereof some, perhaps, would not be mentioned without
giving offence; which I have endeavoured, by all possible means, to
avoid. And, for the same reason, I chose to add here, the little I
thought proper to say on this subject.

But, as to the lands of those who are perpetual absentees, I do not see
any probability of their being ever improved. In former times, their
tenants sat at easy rents; but for some years past, they have been,
generally speaking, more terribly racked by the dexterity of merciless
agents from England, than even those held under the severest landlords
here. I was assured upon the place, by great numbers of credible people,
that a prodigious estate in the county of Cork, being let upon leases
for lives, and great fines paid; the rent was so high, that the tenants
begged leave to surrender their leases, and were content to lose their
fines.

The cultivating and improvement of land, is certainly a subject worthy
of the highest enquiry in any country, but especially in ours; where we
are so strangely limited in every branch of trade, that can be of
advantage to us; and utterly deprived of those, which are of the
greatest importance; whereof I defy the most learned man in Europe, to
produce me an example from any other kingdom in the world: For, we are
denied the benefits which God and nature intended to us; as manifestly
appears by our happy situation for commerce, and the great number of
our excellent ports. So that, I think, little is left us, beside the
cultivating our own soil, encouraging agriculture, and making great
plantations of trees, that we might not be under the necessity of
sending for corn and bark from England, and timber from other countries.
This would increase the number of our inhabitants, and help to consume
our natural products, as well as manufactures at home. And I shall never
forget what I once ventured to say to a great man in England; "That few
politicians, with all their schemes, are half so useful members of a
commonwealth, as an honest farmer; who, by skilfully draining, fencing,
manuring, and planting, hath increased the intrinsic value of a piece of
land; and thereby done a perpetual service to his country;" which it is
a great controversy, whether any of the former ever did, since the
creation of the world; but no controversy at all, that ninety-nine in a
hundred, have done abundance of mischief.




APPENDIXES





APPENDIX I

ADDRESSES TO THE KING[1]


"To the King's most Excellent MAJESTY: _The humble_ ADDRESS _of the_
Knights, Citizens _and_ Burgesses, _in Parliament assembled._

"MOST GRACIOUS SOVEREIGN,

It is with the utmost Concern, that We, Your Majesty's most dutiful
subjects, the Commons of IRELAND in Parliament assembled, find ourselves
indispensably obliged, to represent to Your Majesty, our unanimous
Opinion: That the importing and uttering of _Copper Farthings_ and
_Halfpence_ by virtue of the Patent lately granted to _William Wood,_
Esq.; under the Great Seal of _Great Britain,_ will be highly
prejudicial to Your Majesty's Revenue, destructive of the trade and
commerce of this nation, and of the most dangerous consequence to the
properties of the subject.

[Footnote 1: Addresses by the House of Commons and the House of Lords
presented to the King in conformity with the resolutions passed by these
Houses. See Introductory Note to the Drapier's First Letter. The texts
of these addresses are taken from "Fraud Detected: or, the Hibernian
Patriot," printed by George Faulkner in 1725. [T.S.]]

"We are fully convinced, from the tender regard Your Majesty has always
expressed for our welfare and prosperity, that this Patent could not
have been obtained, had not _William Wood_ and his accomplices, greatly
misrepresented the state of this nation to Your Majesty, it having
appeared to us, by Examinations taken in the most solemn manner, that
though the terms thereof had been strictly complied with, there would
have been a loss to this nation of at least 150 _per Cent._ by means of
the said coinage, and a much greater in the manner the said _Half-pence_
have been coined.

"We likewise beg leave to inform Your Majesty, That the said _William
Wood_ has been guilty of a most notorious fraud and deceit in coining
the said _Half-pence,_ having, under colour of the powers granted unto
him, imported and endeavoured to utter great quantities of different
impressions, and of much less weight than was required by the said
Patent.

"Your faithful _Commons_ have found, by experience, That the granting
the power or privilege of coining _Money_, or _Tokens_ to pass for
_Money_ to private persons, has been highly detrimental to your loyal
subjects; and being apprehensive, that the vesting such power in any
body politic or corporate, or any private person or persons whatsoever,
will be always of dangerous Consequence to this Kingdom, are encouraged,
by the repeated assurances Your Majesty hath given us of Your Royal
Favour and Protection, humbly to entreat Your Majesty, That whenever you
shall hereafter think it necessary to coin any _Farthings_ or
_Half-pence,_ the same may be made as near the intrinsic value as
possible, and that whatever profit shall accrue thereby, may be applied
to the public service.

"And we do further humbly beseech Your Majesty, That you will be
graciously pleased to give such direction, as you, in your great wisdom,
shall think proper, to prevent the fatal effects of uttering any
_Farthings_ or _Half-pence_ pursuant to the said Patent.

"As this enquiry has proceeded entirely from our love to our country, so
we cannot omit this opportunity of repeating our unanimous resolution,
to stand by and support Your Majesty to the utmost of our power, against
all Your enemies, both at home and abroad; and of assuring Your Majesty,
that we will, upon every occasion, give Your Majesty, and the world, all
possible demonstration of our zeal and inviolable duty and affection to
Your Majesty's most sacred person and government, and to the succession,
as established in Your Royal House."

"To the King's most Excellent MAJESTY. _The humble Address of the Lords
Spiritual and Temporal of_ IRELAND, _in Parliament assembled, against_
Wm. Wood.

"May it please Your most Sacred Majesty, WE the Lords Spiritual and
Temporal in Parliament assembled, are under the utmost concern to find,
that our duty to Your Majesty and our Country, indispensably calls upon
us to acquaint Your Majesty with the ill consequences, which will
inevitably follow from a Patent for coining Half-pence and Farthings to
be uttered in this Kingdom, obtained under the Great Seal of _Great
Britain,_ by one _William Wood_ in a clandestine and unprecedented
manner, and by a gross misrepresentation of the state of this Kingdom.

"We are most humbly of opinion, that the diminution of Your Majesty's
revenue, the ruin of our trade, and the impoverishing of your people,
must unavoidably attend this undertaking; and we beg leave to observe to
Your Majesty, that from the most exact Enquiries and Computations we
have been able to make, it appears to us, that the gain to _William
Wood_ will be excessive, and the loss to this Kingdom, by circulating
this base coin, greater than this poor country is able to bear.

"With the greatest submission and deference to Your Majesty's wisdom, we
beg we may offer it as our humble opinion. That the reserving the
coining of _Half-pence_ and _Farthings_ to the _Crown_ and _the not
intrusting it_ with any private person, body politic or corporate, will
always be for Your Majesty's service, and the good of your people in
_this Kingdom._

"In confidence, Sir, of your paternal care of the welfare of _this_
country, we beseech Your Majesty, that you will be pleased to extend
that goodness and compassion to us, which has so eminently shewed itself
to all your other subjects, who have the happiness to live under your
protection and government; and that you will give such directions as may
effectually free us from the terrible apprehensions we labour under from
the _Patent_ granted to _William Wood."_

The following was the King's reply to the above address:


"GEORGE R.

"His _Majesty is very much concerned to see, That His granting the
Patent for coining_ Half-pence _and_ Farthings _agreeable to the
Practice of his Royal Predecessors, has given so much uneasiness to the_
House of Lords: _And if there have been any abuses committed by the_
Patentee, _His Majesty will give the necessary Orders for enquiring
into, and punishing those Abuses. And will do everything that is in His
Power, for the Satisfaction of His People."_




APPENDIX II

REPORT OF THE ASSAY ON WOOD'S COINAGE, MADE BY SIR ISAAC NEWTON, EDWARD
SOUTHWELL, ESQ., AND THOMAS SCROOPE, ESQ.[1]


"_To the right honourable the Lords Commissioners of his Majesty's
Treasury.

"May it please your Lordships_,

According to your Lordships' Order, the pix of the copper-money coined
at Bristol by Mr. Wood for Ireland, has been opened and tried before us
at his Majesty's Mint in the Tower; and by the Comptroller's account, to
which Mr. Wood agreed, there hath been coined from Lady-day 1723 to
March 28, 1724, in half-pence, fifty and five tons, five hundred and
three quarters, and twelve ounces, and in farthings, three tons,
seventeen hundred and two quarters, ten pounds, and eight ounces,
_avoirdupois_, the whole coinage amounting to 59 tons, 3 cwt, 1 qr.
11 lbs. 4 ozs., and by the specimens of this coinage which have, from
time to time, been taken from the several parcels coined and sealed up
in papers, and put into the pix, we found that sixty half-pence weighed
fourteen ounces, _Troy_, and eight pennyweight, which is about a quarter
of an ounce above one pound _avoirdupois_; and that thirty farthings
weighed three ounces, and three quarters of an ounce _Troy_, and
forty-six grains, which is also above the weight required by his Patent.
We found also that both half-pence and farthings when heated red hot,
spread thin under the hammer without cracking, as your Lordships may see
by the pieces now laid before your Lordships. But although the copper
was very good, and the money, one piece with another, was full weight,
yet the single pieces were not so equally coined in the weight as they
should have been.

[Footnote 1: The copy of this Report as here printed is taken from the
tract already quoted in previous notes, entitled, "A Defence of the
Conduct of the People of Ireland in their unanimous Refusal of Mr.
Wood's Copper-money ... Dublin: Printed for George Ewing, at the Angel
and Bible in Dames-Street, MDCCXXIV." As already noted, the assayists
had for trial only those coins which were coined between March, 1723,
and March, 1724, and these coins were neither imported into Ireland nor
attempted to be uttered there. As Wood asked for the assay, he no doubt
knew what he was about. But even as it stands, the Report was not very
favourable to him. The author of the tract named above enters minutely
into this point, and for a further inquiry the reader is referred to
pages 15 to 19 of his publication. [T.S.]]

"We found also that thirty and two old half-pence coined for Ireland in
the reigns of King Charles 2d., King James 2d., and King William 3d. and
Queen Mary, and produced by Mr. Wood, weighed six ounces and eight
pennyweight _Troy_, that is, one hundred and three grains and a half
apiece one with another. They were much worn, and if about six or seven
grains be allowed to each of them one with another for loss of their
weight by wearing, the copper-money coined for England, in the reign of
King William being already as much lightened by wearing, they might at
first weigh about half a pound _avoirdupois_; whereas only thirty of
those coined by Mr. Wood are to be of that. They were also made of bad
copper, two of those coined in the reign of King Charles II. wasted much
in the fire, and then spread thin under the hammer, but not so well
without cracking as those of Mr. Wood. Two of those coined in the reign
of King James II. wasted much more in the fire, and were not malleable
when red hot. Two of those coined in the reign of King William and Queen
Mary wasted still more in the fire, and turned to an unmalleable
substance like a cinder, as your Lordships may see the pieces now laid
before you.

"By the assays we reckon the copper of Mr. Wood's halfpence and
farthings to be of the same goodness and value with the copper of which
the copper money is coined in the King's Mint for England; or worth in
the market about twelve or thirteen pence per pound weight
_avoirdupois_; and the copper of which the half-pence were coined for
Ireland in the reigns of King Charles, King James, and King William, to
be much inferior in value, the mixture being unknown, and not bearing
the fire for converting it to any other use until it be refined.

"The half-pence and farthings in the pix coined by Mr. Wood had on one
side the head of the King, with this inscription GEORGIUS DEI GRATIA
REX: And on the other side, a woman sitting with a harp by her left
side, and above her the inscription HIBERNIA with the date. The
half-pence coined in the reigns of King Charles, King James, and King
William, had on one side the head of King Charles, King James, or King
William and Queen Mary, and on the reverse a harp crowned.

"All which facts we most humbly represent to your Lordships. April 27,
1724."




APPENDIX III

TOM PUNSIBI'S DREAM[1]

[Greek: "A ghar proseidon nukthi taeoe phasmata
Disson oneiron, tauta moi----
Ehi men pephaenen esthlha, dus telesphora,
Eid echthra, tois echthroisin empalin methes
Kai mae me plete te paront ei tines
Doloisi beleueoin ekbalein, ephaes."]

Soph, Elec. [644-649].


Since the heat of this business, which has of late so much and so justly
concerned this kingdom, is at last, in a great measure over, we may
venture to abate something of our former zeal and vigour in handling it,
and looking upon it as an enemy almost overthrown, consult more our own
amusement than its prejudice, in attacking it in light excursory
skirmishes. Thus much I thought fit to observe, lest the world should be
too apt to make an obvious pun upon me; when beginning to dream upon
this occasion, I presented it with the wild nocturnal rovings of an
unguided imagination, on a subject of so great importance, as the final
welfare or ruin of a whole nation.

[Footnote 1: The following tract, written probably by Thomas Sheridan,
Swift's humorous friend, is interesting as affording an example of the
lighter kind of literature brought into existence by this agitation. It
may be that Swift had a hand in its composition. The text is taken from
a copy of the original broadside in the South Kensington Collection. It
was published during the height of the controversy. [T.S.]]

But so it was, that upon reading one of the Drapier's letters, I fell
asleep, and had the following dream:

The first object that struck me was a woman of exquisite beauty, and a
most majestic air, seated on a throne, whom by the figure of a lion
beneath her feet, and of Neptune who stood by her, and paid her the most
respectful homage, I easily knew to be the Genius of England; at some
distance from her, (though not at so great an one as seemed to be
desired,) I observed a matron clothed in robes so tattered and torn,
that they had not only very nigh lost their original air of royalty and
magnificence, but even exposed her to the inclemency of the weather in
several places, which with many other afflictions had so affected her,
that her natural beauty was almost effaced, and her strength and spirits
very nigh lost. She hung over a harp with which, if she sometimes
endeavoured to sooth her melancholy, she had still the misfortune to
find it more or less out of tune, particularly, when as I perceived at
last, it was strung with a sort of wire of so base composition, that
neither she nor I could make anything of it. I took particular notice,
that, when moved by a just sense of her wrongs, she could at any time
raise her head, she fixed her eyes so stedfastly on her neighbour,
sometimes with an humble and entreating, at others, with a more bold and
resentful regard, that I could not help (however improbable it should
seem from her generous august appearance) in a great measure to
attribute her misfortunes to her; but this I shall submit to the
judgment of the world.

I should now at last mention the name, were not these circumstances too
unhappily singular to make that any way necessary.

As I was taken up with many melancholy reflections on this moving
object, I was on a sudden interrupted by a little sort of an uproar,
which, upon turning my eyes towards it, I found arose from a crowd of
people behind her throne; the cause it seems was this:

There was, I perceived, among them the god of merchandise, with his
sandals, mostly of brass, but not without a small proportion of gold and
silver, and his wings chiefly of the two latter metals, but allayed with
a little of the former; with those he used to trudge up and down to
furnish them with necessaries; with these he'd take a flight to other
countries, but not so dexterously or to so good purpose as in other
places of his office, not so much for want of encouragement among 'em
here, as on account of the haughty jealousy of their neighbours, who, it
seems dreading in them a rival, took care to clip his wings and
circumscribe his flights; the former, more especially, being, by these
and other means so much worn, he performed his office but lamely, which
gave occasion to some who had their own private interest more at heart,
than that of the public, to patch up some of the places that were worn,
with a metal of the same nature indeed, but so slight and base, that
though at first it might serve to carry him on their errands, it soon
failed, and by degrees grew entirely useless; insomuch, that he would
rather be retarded than promoted in his business, and this occasioned
the above disturbances among his dependents, who thereupon turned their
eyes towards their mistress (for by this time she will I presume be
better known by that, than the more homely and sociable name of
neighbour) and not daring of late to say or do anything without her
approbation, made several humble applications to her, beseeching that
she would continue them that liberty of refitting these implements
themselves, which she had been formerly pleased graciously to allow 'em;
but these, however reasonable, were all rejected, whereupon I observed a
certain person (a mean ill-looking fellow) from among a great number of
people that stood behind the genius of England, who, during the whole
affair had kept his eyes intently fixed on his neighbours, watching all
their motions, like a hawk hovering over his quarry, and with just the
same design: Him, I say, I observed to turn off hastily, and make
towards the throne, where being arrived, after some preparations
requisite, he preferred a petition, setting forth the wants and
necessities, (but taking care to make 'em appear at least four times
greater than they really were) of his neighbours, or as he might have
more truly and honestly said his own, both which, for the latter, though
not expressed, he chiefly intended, but modestly or rather knavishly
left to be understood, he begged the royal licence to redress, by
supplying those defects which were the occasion of 'em. This humble
suppliant I observed both before and after this petition, seemed to
employ his utmost industry and art, to insinuate himself into the good
graces of two persons that stood on each side the throne;[2]the one on
the right was a lady of large make and swarthy complexion; the other, a
man, that seemed to be between fifty and sixty, who had an air of deep
designing thought: These two he managed with a great deal of art; for
the lady he employed all the little arts that win her sex, particularly,
I observed, that he frequently took hold of her hand, as in raptures, to
kiss it, in such a manner as made me suspect she did not always draw it
back empty; but this he did so slily, that it was not easy for anybody
to be certain of it: The man on the other hand, he plied his own way
with politics, remonstrating to him the several things he had before the
throne; which however, as might be presumed from his manner of attending
to them, seemed to make little impression; but when he came to lay
before him the great advantages that might accrue from thence to their
mistress, and consequently to him, he heard him with the utmost
eagerness and satisfaction; at last, having plainly told him, that he
himself should be a considerable gainer by it, and thereupon, that every
thing that came to his hands of that nature should be at his service: As
a sort of token or earnest he kissed his hand in the same manner he had
the lady's, and so retired; by these and the like means he soon brought
over both parties to him, who, with a whisper or two, procured him the
royal licence; whereupon he immediately fell to making up a metal, if it
deserved the name, of a very strange composition, wherewith he purposed
to refit the implements of that useful deity, but in such manner, that
for the base metal he put into them, he would take care to draw away
from them an infinitely more than proportionable quantity of gold and
silver, and thereby render him almost incapable of taking flight to
foreign countries; nay, at last perhaps utterly so, when under pretence
of their not being completed, he should filch in more of his metal, and
filch away more of theirs.

[Footnote 2: The Duchess of Kendal and Sir Robert Walpole. [S.]]

These things being therefore prepared, he sends 'em over to his
neighbours, and there endeavoured to get them admitted by fair words and
promises, being too sensible that they were not of themselves the most
willing to accept of his favour, and indeed he was not deceived; for
they being advertised of his designs, had taken the alarm, and had
almost to a man united in one common faction against him. This generous
ardour had first taken hold of the most active and important part, and
if I may be allowed to call it, the heart of this body, from thence was
on one side by a quick passage, and in its more refined parts,
communicated through the blood to the contemplative, and reasoning, the
head, which it inspired with noble thoughts and resolutions; and on the
other, to the inferior extremities, which were thereby rendered more
expedite and readier to obey the dictates of the head in a rougher
method of opposition, from each of which extremities being carried back
to its fountain, it was returned to them from thence, and so backwards
and forwards, till the circulation and union were confirmed and
completed, the sordid unnatural, offensive parts being in the meantime
thrown off as dregs of nature, and nuisances of human society; but of
these in so well-tempered a constitution, there were but few; however,
when there were any to be found, though they had been of the most
exalted nature, and bore most noble offices in this body, by any
corruption became so, they shared the common fate, with this only
difference, that they were rejected with greater scorn and contempt on
account of their former dignity, as was found in one notorious instance;
but on the other hand, among all the parts that were serviceable to the
constitution on this occasion, there was not one more so, than a certain
one whose name indeed is not openly known, but whose good offices and
usefulness are too great ever to be forgotten; for it by its nice
diligence and skill selected out things of the most noble and exquisite
nature, by infusing and dispersing them to enliven and invigorate the
whole body, which how effectually they did, our bold projector sadly
experienced. For finding all his endeavours to pass his ware upon them,
disappointed, he withdrew; but his patron on the other side being
informed of what had passed, fell into a most terrible passion, and
threatened, they say, I know not what, of making to swallow and ramming
down throats; but while they were in deep conference together, methought
all on a sudden a trap-door dropped, and down fell our projector; this
unexpected accident did on many accounts not a little alarm the throne,
and gave it but too great occasion to reflect a little on what had been
doing, as what a mean ordinary fellow it had intrusted with the care of
an affair of so great consequence that though their neighbours' refusal
might possibly have put him to such straits as might be the great
occasion of this disgrace, yet that very refusal could not be so
universal and resolute without some reason, which could arise from
nothing else but the unseasonableness or unworthiness of his offers, or
both, and he, consequently, must deserve as much to suffer as they did;
not for the better information, therefore in these surmises some of the
neighbours were consulted, who confirming them, things seemed to bear a
good face, and be in a very fair way of clearing up. When I awoke, I
cannot say whether more pleased at the present posture of affairs, when
I recollected how indifferent an one they had lately been in, or anxious
when upon considering that they were not yet firm and settled, I was led
to reflect in general on the uncertainty of events, and in particular,
on the small reason the persons in hand can have to promise themselves
prosperous ones, especially when they are depending in that part of the
world.

Dublin, printed in the year 1724-5.




APPENDIX IV

A LETTER FROM A FRIEND TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE ------[1]

Ceteri, quanto quis servitio promptior, opibus et honoribus extollerentur:
Invalido legum auxilio, quae vi, ambitu, postremo pecunia
turbabantur.--_Tacit. An._

To THE RIGHT HONOURABLE ------


I fear your lordship in your wonted zeal for the interest of your
country will think this paper very unseasonable; but I am very confident
not more than one man in this kingdom will be of your lordship's
judgment.

[Footnote 1: The two following severe letters are directly addressed to
Lord Chief Justice Whitshed, and were generally circulated. They
probably underwent Swift's correction, though they have too much of a
legal cast to have been written by the Dean himself.... They were,
perhaps, composed by Mr. Robert Lindsay, distinguished by Swift in his
letter to Lord Midleton, as an eminent lawyer, as well as a man of
virtue and learning, whose legal advice he used during the whole
controversy. [S.]

The present letters are taken from copies of the original broadsides in
the South Kensington collection. [T.S.]]

In matters of law your opinion has from our first acquaintance entirely
guided me, and the things you have assured me I might depend upon as
law, have few of them escaped my memory, though I have had but little
conversation with you since you first appeared in Parliament and moved
the House to resolve, That it is the indispensable duty of the judges of
this kingdom to go through their circuits; nor have I had any since you
fell sick and was made solicitor-general.

I have often heard your lordship affirm, and therefore I do affirm it,
That the great ends for which grand juries were instituted, were the
support of the government, the safety of every man's life and fortune,
it being necessary some should be trusted to inquire after all
disturbers of the peace, that they might be prosecuted and brought to
condign punishment; and it is no less needful for every man's quiet and
safety, that the trust of such inquisitions should be put into the hands
of persons of understanding and integrity, that will suffer no man to be
falsely accused or defamed; nor the lives of any to be put in jeopardy,
by the malicious conspiracies of great or small, or the perjuries of any
profligate wretches.

So material a part of our constitution are grand juries, so much does
the security of every subject depend upon them, that though anciently
the sheriff was by express law, chosen annually by the people of the
county, and trusted with the power of the county, yet the law left not
the election of grand juries to the will of the sheriff, but has
described their qualifications, which if they have, and the sheriff
return them, no man, nay no judge, can object to their being sworn, much
less may they to their serving when sworn: And to prevent the
discretionary power (a new-fashioned term) of these judges over juries,
you used to say was made the statute of the 11th of Hen. 4.

Pardon me my lord if I venture to affirm, That a dissolving power is a
breach of that law, or at least an evasion, as every citizen in Dublin
in Sir Constantine Phipps's time perfectly understood, that disapproving
the aldermen lawfully returned to the Privy-council was in effect
assuming the power of choosing and returning----But your lordship and
I know dissolving and disapproving are different terms.

I always understood from your Lordship the trust and power of grand
juries is or ought to be accounted amongst the greatest and of most
concern, next to the legislative: The honour, reputations, fortunes and
lives of every man being subject to their censure; the kings of England
have an undoubted power of dissolving parliaments, but dissolving 'till
one was returned to their or their ministers' liking, has never been
thought very righteous, and Heaven be praised never very successful.

I am entirely of your lordship's opinion, the oath of a grand juryman is
not always sufficiently considered by the jurors, which is as follows.

"You shall diligently enquire, and true presentment make of all such
articles, matters and things as shall be given you in charge; And of all
other matters and things as shall come to your own knowledge, touching
this present service. The King's counsel your fellows' and your own you
shall keep secret," &c.--And from some other men's behaviour, I fear
oaths are not always as sacredly observed as they ought to be: "The
King's counsel, your fellows' and your _own_ you shall keep
secret"--Though our grandmothers my lord might have thought there was a
dispensing power in the Pope, you and I profess no power upon earth can
dispense with this oath, so that to force a man to discover the counsel
he is sworn to keep, is to force him into direct perjury.

Suppose upon information taken before your Lordship of a rape committed,
a bill of indictment were sent to a grand jury, and the grand jury
return _ignoramus_ on it, application is made to the Court to
recommend it to them to reconsider it, and they return as before
_ignoramus_--Suppose a judge with more than decent passion should ask
them their reasons (which is their counsel) for so doing, nay should be
so particular as to demand of them whether they thought the woman a
whore. Must not all the world conclude somebody had forgot the oath of a
grand juryman? Yes sure, or his own, or worse.--But suppose they should
ask a juror a question might criminate himself? My Lord, you know I put
not bare possibilities, it is generally believed these things have been
done within an oak of this town--And if I am rightly informed, the
restraint a juror is under by his oath, is so well understood, that a
certain person desired the clerk of the Crown to change the form of it
by adding this exception: "unless by leave or order of the Court."

These things, my Lord, would seem strange in Westminster-hall, and would
be severely noted in St. Stephen's Chapel. The honour of the Crown would
be thought a very false as well as weak plea for such proceedings there,
as indeed it is an infamous one everywhere, for 'tis a scandal upon a
king, if he is represented in a court of justice, as if he were
partially concerned or rather inclined to desire, that a party should be
found guilty, than that he should be declared innocent.

The King's interest and honour is more concerned in the protection of
the innocent, than in the punishment of the guilty, as in all the
immediate actions of his Majesty we find that maxim pursued, a maxim can
never run a prince into excesses. We do not only find those princes
represented in history under odious characters, who have basely betrayed
the innocent, but such as by their spies and informers were too
inquisitive after the guilty, whereas none was ever blamed for clemency,
or for being too gentle interpreters of the law. Though Trajan was an
excellent prince, endowed with all heroical virtues; yet the most
eloquent writers, and his best friends, found nothing more to be praised
in his government, than that in his time, all men might think what they
pleased, and every man speak what he thought, this I say, that if any
amongst us by violent measures, and a dictatorial behaviour have raised
jealousies in the minds of His Majesty's faithful subjects, the blame
may lie at their door.

I know it has been said for His Majesty's service, grand juries may be
forced to discover their counsels: But you will confess a king can do
nothing against law, nor will any honest man judge that for his service,
which is not warranted by law. If a constant uninterrupted usage, can
give the force of a law, then the grand jurymen are bound by law, as
well as by their oaths, to keep the King's, their fellows' and their own
counsel secret. Bracton and Britton in their several generations bear
witness, that it was then practised; and greater proof of it needs not
be sought, than the disputes that appear by the law-books to have been
amongst the ancient lawyers, Whether it was treason or felony for a
grand juryman to discover their counsels--The trust of grand juries was
in those days thought so sacred, and their secrecy of so great concern
to the kingdom, that whosoever should break their oaths, was by all
thought worthy to die, only some would have them suffer as traitors,
others as felons.

If a king's commands should come to the judges of a court of justice or
to a jury, desiring them to vary from the direction of the law, (which
it is criminal to say, and no man ought to be believed therein) they are
bound by their oaths not to regard them. The statute of 2 of E. 3. 8.
and 20 E. 3. I. are express; and the substance of these and other
statutes is inserted into the oaths taken by every judge; and if they be
under the most solemn and sacred tie in the execution of justice to hold
for nothing the commands of the King under the great seal, then surely
political views and schemes, the pleasure or displeasure of a minister,
in the like case ought to be less than nothing.

It is a strange doctrine that men must sacrifice the law to secure their
properties, if the law is to be fashioned for every occasion, if grand
jurymen contrary to their oaths must discover their fellows' and their
own counsels, and betray the trust the law has reposed in them, if they
must subject the reasons of their verdicts to the censure of the judges,
whom the law did never design to trust with the liberty, property, or
good name of their fellow-subjects. No man can say he has any security
for his life or fortune, and they who do not themselves, may however see
their best friends and nearest relations suffer the utmost violences and
oppressions.

Which leads me to say a few words of the petit jury, not forgetting Mr.
Walters. I am assured by an eminent lawyer, that the power and office of
a petit jury is judicial, that they only are the judges from whose
sentence the indicted are to expect life or death. Upon their integrity
and understanding the lives of all that are brought in judgment do
ultimately depend; from their verdict there lies no appeal, by finding
guilty or not guilty. They do complicately resolve both law and fact. As
it hath been the law, so it hath always been the custom and practice of
these juries (except as before) upon all general issues, pleaded in
cases civil as well as criminal, to judge both of the law and fact. So
it is said in the report of the Lord Chief Justice Vaughan in Bushell's
case, That these juries determine the law in all matters where issue is
joined and tried, in the principal case whether the issue be about
trespass or debt, or disseizin in assizes, or a tort or any such like,
unless they should please to give a special verdict with an implicate
faith in the judgment of the Court, to which none can oblige them
against their wills.

It is certain we may hope to see the trust of a grand juryman best
discharged when gentlemen of the best fortunes and understandings attend
that service, but it is as certain we must never expect to see such men
on juries, if for differing with a judge in opinion, when they only are
the lawful judges, they are liable to be treated like villains, like
perjurers, and enemies to their king and country; I say my lord such
behaviour to juries will make all gentlemen avoid that duty, and instead
of men of interest, of reputation and abilities, our lives, our
fortunes, and our reputations must depend upon the basest and meanest of
the people.