THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN SWIFT
VOL. IX
GEORGE BELL & SONS
LONDON: YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN
CAMBRIDGE: DEIGHTON, BELL & CO.
NEW YORK: THE MACMILLAN CO.
[Illustration: _Jonathan Swift from the picture by Charles Jervas in the
Bodlean Library Oxford_]
THE PROSE WORKS OF JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.
EDITED BY TEMPLE SCOTT
VOL IX
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE TATLER," "THE EXAMINER," "THE SPECTATOR," AND
"THE INTELLIGENCER"
LONDON
GEORGE BELL AND SONS 1902
CHISWICK PRESS: CHARLES WHITTINGHAM AND CO.
TOOKS COURT, CHANCERY LANE, LONDON.
INTRODUCTION
Swift has been styled the Prince of Journalists. Like most titles whose
aim is to express in modern words the character and achievements of a man
of a past age, this phrase is not of the happiest. Applied to so
extraordinary a man as Jonathan Swift, it is both misleading and
inadequate. At best it embodies but a half-truth. It belongs to that
class of phrases which, in emphasizing a particular side of the
character, sacrifices truth to a superficial cleverness, and so does
injustice to the character as a whole. The vogue such phrases obtain is
thus the measure of the misunderstanding that is current; so that it
often becomes necessary to receive them with caution and to test them
with care.
A prince in his art Swift certainly was, but his art was not the art of
the journalist. Swift was a master of literary expression, and of all
forms of that expression which aim at embodying in language the common
life and common facts of men and their common nature. He had his
limitations, of course; but just here lies the power of his special
genius. He never attempted to express what he did not fully comprehend.
If he saw things narrowly, he saw them definitely, and there was no
mistaking the ideas he wished to convey. "He understands himself," said
Dr. Johnson, "and his reader always understands him." Within his
limitations Swift swayed a sovereign power. His narrowness of vision,
however, did never blind him to the relations that exist between fact and
fact, between object and subject, between the actual and the possible. At
the same time it was not his province, as it was not his nature, to
handle such relations in the abstract. The bent of his mind was towards
the practical and not the pure reason. The moralist and the statesman
went hand in hand in him--an excellent example of the eighteenth century
thinker.
But to say this of Swift is not to say that he was a journalist. The
journalist is the man of the hour writing for the hour in harmony with
popular opinion. Both his text and his heads are ready-made for him. He
follows the beaten road, and only essays new paths when conditions
have become such as to force him along them. Such a man Swift certainly
was not. Journalism was not his way to the goal. If anything, it was, as
Epictetus might have said, but a tavern by the way-side in which he took
occasion to find the means by which the better to attain his goal. If
Swift's contributions to the literature of his day be journalism, then
did journalism spring full-grown into being, and its history since his
time must be considered as a history of its degeneration. But they were
much more than journalism. That they took the form they did, in
contributions to the periodicals of his day, is but an accident which
does not in the least affect the contributions themselves. These, in
reality, constitute a criticism of the social and political life of the
first thirty years of the English eighteenth century. From the time of
the writing of "A Tale of a Tub" to the days of the Drapier's Letters,
Swift dissected his countrymen with the pitiless hand of the
master-surgeon. So profound was his knowledge of human anatomy, individual
and social, that we shudder now at the pain he must have inflicted in his
unsparing operations. So accurate was his judgment that we stand amazed
at his knowledge, and our amazement often turns to a species of horror as
we see the cuticle flapped open revealing the crude arrangement beneath.
Nor is it to argue too nicely, to suggest that our present sympathy for
the past pain, our amazement, and our horror, are, after all, our own
unconscious tributes to the power of the man who calls them up, and our
confession of the lasting validity of his criticism.
This is not the power nor is it the kind of criticism that are the
elements of the art of the journalist. Perhaps we should be glad that it
is not; which is but to say that we are content with things as they
exist. It requires a special set of conditions to precipitate a Swift.
Happily, if we will have it so, the conditions in which we find ourselves
ask for that kind of journalist whose function is amply fulfilled when
he has measured the movements of the hour by the somewhat higher
standards of the day. The conditions under which Swift lived demanded a
journalist of an entirely different calibre; and they got him. They
obtained a man who dissolved the petty jealousies of party power in the
acid of satire, and who distilled the affected fears for Church and State
in the alembic of a statesmanship that establishes a nation's majesty and
dignity on the common welfare of its free people. When Swift, at the
beginning of the November of 1710, was called in to assist the Tory party
by undertaking the work of "The Examiner," he found a condition of things
so involved and so unstable, that it required the very nicest
appreciation, the most delicate handling, and the boldest of hearts to
readjust and re-establish, without fearful consequences. Harley and St.
John were safely housed, and, apparently, amply protected by a
substantial majority. But majorities are often not the most trustworthy
of supports. Apart from the over-confidence which they inspire, and
apart from the danger of a too-enthusiastic following, such as found
expression in the October Club, there was the danger which might come
from the dissatisfaction of the people at large, should their temper be
wrongly gauged; and at this juncture it was not easy to gauge. The
popularity of Marlborough and his victories, on the one hand, was
undoubted. On the other, however, there was the growing opinion that
those victories had been paid for at a price greater than England could
afford. If she had gained reputation and prestige, these could not fill
the mouths of the landed class, gradually growing poorer, and the members
of this class were not of a disposition to restrain their feelings as
they noted the growing prosperity of the Whig stock-jobbers--a
prosperity that was due to the very war which was beggaring them. If the
landed man cried for peace, he was answered by the Whig stock-jobber that
peace meant the ultimate repudiation of the National Debt, with the
certainty of the reign of the Pretender. If the landed man spoke for the
Church, the Whig speculator raised the shout of "No Popery!" The war had
transformed parties into factions, and the ministry stood between a
Scylla of a peace-at-any-price, on the one side, and a Charybdis of a
war-at-any-price on the other; or, if not a war, then a peace so
one-sided that it would be almost impossible to bring it about.
In such troubled waters, and at such a critical juncture, it was given to
Swift to act as pilot to the ship of State. His papers to "The Examiner"
must bear witness to the skill with which he accomplished the task set
before him. His appeal to the people of England for confidence in the
ministry, should be an appeal not alone on behalf of its distinguished
and able members, but also on behalf of a policy by which "the crooked
should be made straight and the rough places plain." Such was to be the
nature of his appeal, and he made it in a series of essays that turned
every advantage with admirable effect to the side of his clients. Not
another man then living could have done what he did; and we question if
either Harley or St. John ever realized the service he rendered them. The
later careers of these two men furnish no doubtful hints of what might
have happened at this period had Swift been other than the man he was.
But Swift's "Examiners" did much more than preserve Harley's head on his
shoulders; they brought the nation to a calmer sense of its position, and
tutored it to a juster appreciation of the men who were using it for
selfish ends. Let us make every allowance for purely special pleadings;
for indulgence in personal feeling against the men who had either
disappointed, injured, or angered him; for the party man affecting or
genuinely feeling party bitterness, for the tricks and subterfuges of the
paid advocate appealing to the passions and weaknesses of those whose
favour he was seeking to win; allowing for these, there are yet left in
these papers a noble spirit of wide-eyed patriotism, and a distinguished
grasp of the meaning of national greatness and national integrity.
The pamphleteers whom he opposed, and who opposed him, were powerless
against Swift. Where they pried with the curiosity and meanness of petty
dealers, Swift's insight seized on the larger relations, and insisted on
them. Where they "bantered," cajoled, and sneered, arousing a very mild
irritation, Swift's scornful invective, and biting satire silenced into
fear the enemies of the Queen's chosen ministers. Where their jejune
"answers" gained a simper, Swift's virility of mind, range of power, and
dexterity of handling, compelled a homage. His Whig antagonists had
good reason to dread him. He scoffed at them for an existence that was
founded, not on a devotion to principles, but on a jealousy for the power
others enjoyed. "The bulk of the Whigs appears rather to be linked to a
certain set of persons, than any certain set of principles." To these
persons also he directed his grim attention, Somers, Cowper, Godolphin,
Marlborough, and Wharton were each drawn with iron stylus and acid. To
Wharton he gave special care (he had some private scores to pay off), and
in the character of Verres, he etched the portrait of a profligate, an
unscrupulous governor, a scoundrel, an infidel to his religion and
country, a reckless, selfish, low-living blackguard. In the Letter to
Marcus Crassus, Marlborough is addressed in language that the simplest
farm-labourer could understand. The letter is a lay sermon on the vice of
avarice, and every point and illustration are taken from Marlborough's
life with such telling application that Marlborough himself must have
taken thought as he read it. "No man," Swift finely concludes, "of true
valour and true understanding, upon whom this vice has stolen unawares;
when he is convinced he is guilty, will suffer it to remain in his breast
an hour."
But these attentions to the Whigs as a party and as individuals were,
after all, but the by-play of the skilled orator preparing the minds of
his hearers for the true purpose in hand. That purpose may originally
have been to fix the ministry in the country's favour; but Swift having
fulfilled it, and so discharged his office, turned it, as indeed he could
not help turning it, and as later in the Drapier's Letters he turned
another purpose, to the persuasion of an acceptance of those broad
principles which so influenced political thought during the last years of
the reign of Queen Anne. It is with these principles in his mind that Dr.
Johnson confessed that Swift "dictated for a time the political opinions
of the English nation." He recalled the nation to a consideration of the
Constitution; he attributed to the people (because, of course, they had
elected the new ministry into power) an appreciation of what was best for
the protection of their ancient privileges and rights. The past twenty
years had been a period of mismanagement, in which the Constitution had
been ignored; "but the body of the people is wiser; and by the choice
they have made, shew they do understand our Constitution, and would bring
it back to the old form." "The nation has groaned under the intolerable
burden of those who sucked her blood for gain. We have carried on wars,
that we might fill the pockets of stock-jobbers. We have revised our
Constitution, and by a great and united national effort, have secured our
Protestant succession, only that we may become the tools of a faction,
who arrogate to themselves the whole merit of what was a national act. We
are governed by upstarts, who are unsettling the landmarks of our social
system, and are displacing the influence of our landed gentry by that of
a class of men who find their profit in our woes." The rule of the
tradesman must be replaced by the rule of those whose lives are bound up
with the land of their country. The art of government was not "the
importation of nutmegs, and the curing of herrings;" but the political
embodiment of the will of "a Parliament freely chosen, without
threatening or corruption," and "composed of landed men" whose interests
being in the soil would be at one with the interests of those who lived
on the soil. Whigs and Tories may dispute as they will among themselves
as to the best side from which to defend the country; but the men of the
true party are the men of the National party--they "whose principles in
Church and State, are what I have above related; whose actions are
derived from thence, and who have no attachment to any set of ministers,
further than as these are friends to the Constitution in all its parts;
but will do their utmost to save their Prince and Country, whoever be at
the Helm".[1]
In this spirit and in such wise did Swift temper his time and champion
the cause of those men who had chosen him. This was a kind of "examining"
to which neither the Whigs nor the Tories had been accustomed. It shed
quite a new light on matters, which the country at large was not slow to
appreciate. Throughout the length and breadth of the kingdom "The
Examiner" was welcomed and its appeals responded to. Its success was
notable, even magnificent; but it was not a lasting success. It did the
work that the ministry had intended it to do, and did it unmistakably;
but the principles of this National party were for men of a sterner mould
than either Harley or St. John. Swift had laid a burden on their
shoulders heavier than they could carry, and they fell when they were
bereft of his support. But the work Swift did bears witness to-day to a
very unusual combination of qualities in the genius of this man, whose
personality stands out even above his work. It was ever his fate to serve
and never his happiness to command; but then he had himself accepted
servitude when he donned the robe of the priest.
It is deserving of repeated record to note that Dr. Johnson in admitting
that Swift, in "The Examiner," had the advantage in argument, adds that
"with regard to wit, I am afraid none of Swift's papers will be found
equal to those by which Addison opposed him." To which Monck Mason
pertinently remarks: "The Doctor should have told us what these papers
were which Addison wrote in opposition to Swift's 'Examiner;' for the
last 'Whig Examiner,' written by Addison, was published October 12th,
1710, and Swift's first 'Examiner' on the 2nd November following."[2]
* * * * *
In this volume have been collected those writings of Swift which form his
contributions to the periodicals of his time. Care has been taken to give
the best text and to admit nothing that Swift did not write. In the
preparation of the volume the editor has received such assistance from
Mr. W. Spencer Jackson that it might with stricter justice be said that
he had edited it. He collated the texts, revised the proofs, and supplied
most of the notes. Without his assistance the volume must inevitably have
been further delayed, and the editor gladly takes this occasion to
acknowledge his indebtedness to Mr. Jackson and to thank him for his
help.
His further indebtedness must be acknowledged to the researches of those
writers already named in the previously published volumes of this
edition, and also cited in the notes to the present volume.
TEMPLE SCOTT.
GLEN RIDGE, NEW JERSEY, U.S.A.
_April_ 8, 1902.
[Footnote 1: "Examiner," No. 44, p. 290.]
[Footnote 2: "Hist. St. Patrick's Cathedral," p. 257, note g.]
CONTENTS
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE TATLER"
Introductory Note
No. 32, June 23, 1709
35, " 30, "
59, Aug. 25, "
65, Sept. 3, "
66, " 10, "
67, " 13, "
68, " 15, "
70, " 22, "
71, " 22, "
230, Sept. 28, 1710
258, Dec. 2, "
Note to Harrison's "Tatler"
No. 1 (of vol. v.), Jan. 13, 1710-11
2 ( " ), " 16, "
5 ( " ), " 27, "
No. 298 (vol. v., No. 20), March 6, 1710-11
302 (vol. v., No. 24), " 15 "
306 (vol. v., No. 28), " 24 "
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE EXAMINER"
Introductory Note
No. 14 (13), Nov. 2, 1710
15 (14), " 9, "
16 (15), " 16, "
17 (16), " 23, "
18 (17), " 30, "
19 (18), Dec. 7, "
20 (19), " 14, "
21 (20), " 21, "
22 (21), " 28, "
23 (22), Jan. 4, 1710-11
24 (23), " 11, "
25 (24), " 18, "
26 (25), " 25, "
27 (26), Feb. 1, "
28 (27), " 8, "
29 (28), Feb 15, 1710 11
30 (29), " 22, "
31 (30), March 1, "
32 (31), " 8, "
33 (32), " 15, "
34 (33), " 22, "
35 (34), " 29, 1711
36 (35), April 5, "
37 (36), " 12, "
38 (37), " 19, "
39 (38), " 26, "
40 (39), May 3, "
41 (40), " 10, "
42 (41), " 17, "
43 (42), " 24, "
44 (43), " 31, "
45 (44), June 7, "
46 (45), " 14, "
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE SPECTATOR"
Introductory Note
No 50, April 27, 1711 (The Four Indian Kings)
Paragraph from No 575, August 2, 1714
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE INTELLIGENCER"
Introductory Note
No 1, May 11, 1728 (Introduction)
3, A Vindication of Mr. Gay, and the Beggar's Opera
19, The Hardships of the Irish being deprived of their
Silver, and decoyed into America
* * * * *
CONTRIBUTIONS TO "THE TATLER."
NOTE.
In the original dedication of the first volume of "The Tatler" to Arthur
Maynwaring Richard Steele, its projector and editor, gives characteristic
expression to the motive which prompted him in its establishment. "The
state of conversation and business in this town," says Steele, "having
been long perplexed with pretenders in both kinds, in order to open men's
eyes against such abuses, it appeared no unprofitable undertaking to
publish a Paper which should observe upon the manners of the pleasurable,
as well as the busy, part of mankind." He goes on to say that "the
general purpose of this Paper is to expose the false arts of life, to
pull off the disguises of cunning, vanity, and affectation, and to
recommend a general simplicity in our dress, our discourse, and our
behaviour."
That Steele succeeded in this laudable purpose has been amply made
evident by the effect "The Tatler" had upon his literary successors,
both of his own age and of the generations since his time. "The Tatler"
was, if we except Defoe's "Weekly Review," the earliest literary
periodical which, in the language of Scott, "had no small effect in
fixing and refining the character of the English nation."
Steele conducted his periodical under the name of Isaac Bickerstaff.
He chose this name purposely because he felt, as he himself expressed
it, that "a work of this nature required time to grow into the notice of
the world. It happened very luckily that a little before I had resolved
upon this design, a gentleman had written predictions, and two or three
other pieces in my name, which had rendered it famous through all
parts of Europe; and by an inimitable spirit and humour, raised it to as
high a pitch of reputation as it could possibly arrive at." The gentleman
referred to is, of course, Swift, whose pamphlets on Partridge had
been the talk of the town.
Steele very kindly ascribes the success of the periodical to this "good
fortune;" and though there may be something in what he said, we, in the
present day, can more justly appreciate the great benefit conferred upon
his countrymen by himself and his co-workers.
The influence of "The Tatler" on contemporary thought is acknowledged by
Gay in his "Present State of Wit," published in 1711. Gay remarks: "His
writings have set all our wits and men of letters upon a new way of
thinking, of which they had little or no notion before; and though we
cannot yet say that any of them have come up to the beauties of the
original, I think we may venture to affirm that every one of them writes
and thinks much more justly than they did some time since."
Among the contributors, in addition to the editor himself, were Swift,
Addison, Yalden, John Hughes, William Harrison, and James Greenwood.
It must always remain to a great extent a matter of conjecture as to the
exact authorship of "The Tatler" papers. In the preface to the fourth
volume the authorship of a very few of the articles was admitted. Peter
Wentworth wrote to his brother, Lord Raby, on May 9th, 1709, saying the
Tatlers "are writ by a club of wits, who make it their business to pick
up all the merry stories they can.... Three of the authors are guessed
at, viz.: Swift,... Yalden, and Steele" ("Wentworth Papers," 85).
Swift's first recognized prose contribution to "The Tatler" was in No. 32
(June 23rd), and he continued from time to time, as the following reprint
will show, to assist his friend; but, unfortunately, party politics
separated the two, and Swift retired from the venture.
A particular meaning was attached to the place from which the articles in
"The Tatler" were dated. The following notice appeared in the first
number: "All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment, shall be
under the article of White's Chocolate-house; poetry, under that of
Will's Coffee-house; learning, under the title of Grecian; foreign and
domestic news, you will have from St. James's Coffee-house; and what else
I have to offer on any other subject shall be dated from my own
Apartment."
"The Tatler" was reprinted in Edinburgh as soon as possible after its
publication in London, commencing apparently with No. 130, as No. 31
(Edinburgh, James Watson) is dated April 24th, 1710, and corresponds to
No. 160 of the original edition, April 18th, 1710. [T.S.]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 32.
FROM TUESDAY JUNE 21. TO THURSDAY JUNE 23. 1709.
"To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF ESQ;[1]
_June_ 18. 1709.
"SIR,
"I know not whether you ought to pity or laugh at me; for I am fallen
desperately in love with a professed _Platonne_, the most unaccountable
creature of her sex. To hear her talk seraphics, and run over Norris[2]
and More,[3] and Milton,[4] and the whole set of Intellectual Triflers,
torments me heartily; for to a lover who understands metaphors, all this
pretty prattle of ideas gives very fine views of pleasure, which only the
dear declaimer prevents, by understanding them literally. Why should she
wish to be a cherubim, when it is flesh and blood that makes her
adorable? If I speak to her, that is a high breach of the idea of
intuition: If I offer at her hand or lip, she shrinks from the touch like
a sensitive plant, and would contract herself into mere spirit. She calls
her chariot, vehicle; her furbelowed scarf, pinions; her blue manteau and
petticoat is her azure dress; and her footman goes by the name of Oberon.
It is my misfortune to be six foot and a half high, two full spans
between the shoulders, thirteen inches diameter in the calves; and before
I was in love, I had a noble stomach, and usually went to bed sober with
two bottles. I am not quite six and twenty, and my nose is marked truly
aquiline. For these reasons, I am in a very particular manner her
aversion. What shall I do? Impudence itself cannot reclaim her. If I
write miserable, she reckons me among the children of perdition, and
discards me her region: If I assume the gross and substantial, she plays
the real ghost with me, and vanishes in a moment. I had hopes in the
hypocrisy of the sex; but perseverance makes it as bad as a fixed
aversion. I desire your opinion, Whether I may not lawfully play the
inquisition upon her, make use of a little force, and put her to the rack
and the torture, only to convince her, she has really fine limbs, without
spoiling or distorting them. I expect your directions, ere I proceed to
dwindle and fall away with despair; which at present I don't think
advisable, because, if she should recant, she may then hate me perhaps
in the other extreme for my tenuity. I am (with impatience)
"Your most humble servant,
"CHARLES STURDY."
My patient has put his case with very much warmth, and represented it in
so lively a manner, that I see both his torment and tormentor with great
perspicuity. This order of Platonic ladies are to be dealt with in a
peculiar manner from all the rest of the sex. Flattery is the general
way, and the way in this case; but it is not to be done grossly. Every
man that has wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a good flatterer for
woman in general; but a _Platonne_ is not to be touched with panegyric:
she will tell you, it is a sensuality in the soul to be delighted that
way. You are not therefore to commend, but silently consent to all she
does and says. You are to consider in her the scorn of you is not humour,
but opinion.
There were some years since a set of these ladies who were of quality,
and gave out, that virginity was to be their state of life during this
mortal condition, and therefore resolved to join their fortunes, and
erect a nunnery. The place of residence was pitched upon; and a pretty
situation, full of natural falls and risings of waters, with shady
coverts, and flowery arbours, was approved by seven of the founders.
There were as many of our sex who took the liberty to visit those
mansions of intended severity; among others, a famous rake[5] of that
time, who had the grave way to an excellence. He came in first; but upon
seeing a servant coming towards him, with a design to tell him, this was
no place for him or his companions, up goes my grave impudence to the
maid: "Young woman," said he, "if any of the ladies are in the way on
this side of the house, pray carry us on the other side towards the
gardens: we are, you must know, gentlemen that are travelling England;
after which we shall go into foreign parts, where some of us have already
been." Here he bows in the most humble manner, and kissed the girl, who
knew not how to behave to such a sort of carriage. He goes on; "Now you
must know we have an ambition to have it to say, that we have a
Protestant nunnery in England: but pray Mrs. Betty----"--"Sir," she
replied, "my name is Susan, at your service."--"Then I heartily beg your
pardon----"--"No offence in the least," says she, "for I have a
cousin-german whose name is Betty."[6]--"Indeed," said he, "I protest to
you that was more than I knew, I spoke at random: But since it happens
that I was near in the right, give me leave to present this gentleman to
the favour of a civil salute." His friend advances, and so on, till that
they had all saluted her. By this means, the poor girl was in the middle
of the crowd of these fellows, at a loss what to do, without courage to
pass through them; and the Platonics, at several peepholes, pale,
trembling, and fretting. Rake perceived they were observed, and therefore
took care to keep Sukey in chat with questions concerning their way of
life; when appeared at last Madonella,[7] a lady who had writ a fine
book concerning the recluse life, and was the projectrix of the
foundation. She approaches into the hall; and Rake, knowing the dignity
of his own mien and aspect, goes deputy from his company. She begins,
"Sir, I am obliged to follow the servant, who was sent out to know, What
affair could make strangers press upon a solitude which we, who are to
inhabit this place, have devoted to Heaven and our own thoughts?"--
"Madam," replies Rake, (with an air of great distance, mixed with a
certain indifference, by which he could dissemble dissimulation) "your
great intention has made more noise in the world than you design it
should; and we travellers, who have seen many foreign institutions of
this kind, have a curiosity to see, in its first rudiments, this seat of
primitive piety; for such it must be called by future ages, to the
eternal honour of the founders. I have read Madonella's excellent and
seraphic discourse on this subject." The lady immediately answers, "If
what I have said could have contributed to raise any thoughts in you that
may make for the advancement of intellectual and divine conversation, I
should think myself extremely happy." He immediately fell back with the
profoundest veneration; then advancing, "Are you then that admired lady?
If I may approach lips which have uttered things so sacred--" He salutes
her. His friends followed his example. The devoted within stood in
amazement where this would end, to see Madonella receive their address
and their company. But Rake goes on--"We would not transgress rules; but
if we may take the liberty to see the place you have thought fit to
choose for ever, we would go into such parts of the gardens as is
consistent with the severities you have imposed on yourselves."
To be short, Madonella permitted Rake to lead her into the assembly of
nuns, followed by his friends, and each took his fair one by the hand,
after due explanation, to walk round the gardens. The conversation turned
upon the lilies, the flowers, the arbours, and the growing vegetables;
and Rake had the solemn impudence, when the whole company stood round
him, to say, "That he sincerely wished men might rise out of the earth
like plants;[8] and that our minds were not of necessity to be sullied
with carnivorous appetites for the generation, as well as support of our
species." This was spoke with so easy and fixed an assurance, that
Madonella answered, "Sir, under the notion of a pious thought, you
deceive yourself in wishing an institution foreign to that of Providence:
These desires were implanted in us for reverend purposes, in preserving
the race of men, and giving opportunities for making our chastity more
heroic." The conference was continued in this celestial strain, and
carried on so well by the managers on both sides, that it created a
second and a second interview;[9] and, without entering into further
particulars, there was hardly one of them but was a mother or father that
day twelvemonth.
Any unnatural part is long taking up, and as long laying aside; therefore
Mr. Sturdy may assure himself, Platonica will fly for ever from a forward
behaviour; but if he approaches her according to this model, she will
fall in with the necessities of mortal life, and condescend to look with
pity upon an unhappy man, imprisoned in so much body, and urged by such
violent desires.
[Footnote 1: This letter is introduced by the following words:
"White's Chocolate-house, June 22.
"An Answer to the following letter being absolutely necessary to be
dispatched with all expedition, I must trespass upon all that come with
horary questions into my ante-chamber, to give the gentleman my opinion."
This paper is written in ridicule of some affected ladies of the period,
who pretended, with rather too much ostentation, to embrace the doctrines
of Platonic Love. Mrs. Mary Astell, a learned and worthy woman, had
embraced this fantastic notion so deeply, that, in an essay upon the
female sex, in 1696, she proposed a sort of female college, in which the
young might be instructed, and 'ladies nauseating the parade of the
world,' might find a happy retirement. The plan was disconcerted by
Bishop Burnet, who, understanding that the Queen intended to give ВЈ10,000
towards the establishment, dissuaded her, by an assurance, that it would
lead to the introduction of Popish orders, and be called a nunnery. This
lady is the Madonella of the Tatler.... This paper has been censured as a
gross reflection on Mrs. Astell's character, but on no very just
foundation. Swift only prophesies the probable issue of such a scheme, as
that of the Protestant nunnery; and it is a violent interpretation of his
words to suppose him to insinuate, that the conclusion had taken place
without the premises. Indeed, the scourge of ridicule is seldom better
employed than on that species of _PrГ©cieuse_, who is anxious to confound
the boundaries which nature has fixed for the employments and studies of
the two sexes. No man was more zealous than Swift for informing the
female mind in those points most becoming and useful to their sex. His
"Letter to a Young Married Lady" and "Thoughts on Education" point out
the extent of those studies. [S.]
Nichols, in his edition of "The Tatler" (1786), ascribes this paper to
"Swift and Addison"; but he thinks the humour of it "certainly originated
in the licentious imagination of the Dean of St. Patrick's." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: John Norris (1657-1711), Rector of Bemerton, author of "The
Theory and Regulation of Love" (1688), and of many other works. His
correspondence with the famous Platonist, Henry More, is appended to this
"moral essay." Chalmers speaks of him as "a man of great ingenuity,
learning, and piety"; but Locke refers to him as "an obscure,
enthusiastic man." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 3: Henry More (1614-1687), the famous Cambridge Platonist, and
author of "Philosophicall Poems" (1647), "The Immortality of the Soul"
(1659), and other works of a similar nature. Chalmers notes that "Mr.
Chishall, an eminent bookseller, declared, that Dr. More's 'Mystery of
Godliness' and his other works, ruled all the booksellers of London for
twenty years together." [T.S. ]]
[Footnote 4: The reference here is to Milton's "Apology for Smectymnuus."
Milton and More were, during one year, fellow-students at Christ's
College, Cambridge. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 5: Said to refer to a Mr. Repington, a well-known wag of the
time, and a member of an old Warwickshire family, of Amington, near
Tamworth. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 6: The Betty here referred to is the Lady Elizabeth Hastings
(1682-1739), daughter of Theophilus, seventh Earl of Huntingdon. In
No. 49 of "The Tatler," Steele refers to her in the famous sentence:
"to love her is a liberal education." She contributed to Mrs. Astell's
plans for the establishment of a "Protestant nunnery." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 7: See previous note. Mrs. Mary Astell (1668-1731) the
authoress of "A Serious Proposal to the Ladies for the Advancement of
their true and greatest Interest" (1694), was the friend of Lady
Elizabeth Hastings and the correspondent of John Norris of Bemerton.
There is not the slightest foundation for the gross and cruel
insinuations against her character in this paper. The libel is repeated
in the 59th and 63rd numbers of "The Tatler." Her correspondence with
Norris was published in 1695, with the title, "Letters Concerning the
Love of God". Later in life she attacked Atterbury, Locke, and White
Kennett. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 8: The reference here is to Sir Thomas Browne's "Religio
Medici," part ii., section 9. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 9: M. Bournelle--a pseudonym of William Oldisworth--remarks:
"The next interview after a _second_ is still a _second_; there is no
progress in time to lovers" ("Annotations on 'The Tatler'"). Chalmers
reads here, "a second and a third interview." [T.S.]]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 35.
FROM TUESDAY JUNE 28. TO THURSDAY JUNE 30. 1709.
"SIR,[1]
"Not long since[2] you were pleased to give us a chimerical account of
the famous family of _Staffs_, from whence I suppose you would insinuate,
that it is the most ancient and numerous house in all Europe. But I
positively deny that it is either; and wonder much at your audacious
proceedings in this matter, since it is well known, that our most
illustrious, most renowned, and most celebrated Roman family of _Ix_, has
enjoyed the precedency to all others from the reign of good old Saturn. I
could say much to the defamation and disgrace of your family; as, that
your relations _Distaff_ and _Broomstaff_ were both inconsiderate mean
persons, one spinning, the other sweeping the streets, for their daily
bread. But I forbear to vent my spleen on objects so much beneath my
indignation. I shall only give the world a catalogue of my ancestors, and
leave them to determine which hath hitherto had, and which for the future
ought to have, the preference.
"First then comes the most famous and popular lady _Meretrix_, parent of
the fertile family of _Bellatrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix,
Famulatrix, Coctrix, Ornatrix, Sarcinatrix, Fextrix, Balneatrix,
Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, Debitrix,
Creditrix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix, Adsectrix, Assectatrix,
Palpatrix, Praeceptrix, Pistrix._
"I am yours,
"ELIZ. POTATRIX."
[Footnote 1: This letter is introduced:
"From my own Apartment, June 29.
"It would be a very great obligation, and an assistance to my treatise
upon punning, if any one would please to inform me in what class among
the learned, who play with words, to place the author of the following
letter."
The proposed work had been promised in the 32nd number of "The Tatler,"
where it was stated that, "I shall dedicate this discourse to a
gentleman, my very good friend, who is the Janus of our times, and
whom, by his years and wit, you would take to be of the last age; but
by his dress and morals, of this." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: In the 11th number of "The Tatler," by Heneage Twisden.
[T.S.]]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 59.
FROM TUESDAY AUGUST 23. TO THURSDAY AUGUST 25. 1709.
_Will's Coffee-house, August 24._
The author of the ensuing letter, by his name, and the quotations he
makes from the ancients, seems a sort of spy from the old world, whom we
moderns ought to be careful of offending; therefore I must be free, and
own it a fair hit where he takes me, rather than disoblige him.
"SIR, Having a peculiar humour of desiring to be somewhat the better or
wiser for what I read, I am always uneasy when, in any profound writer
(for I read no others) I happen to meet with what I cannot understand.
When this falls out, it is a great grievance to me that I am not able to
consult the author himself about his meaning; for commentators are a sect
that has little share in my esteem. Your elaborate writings have, among
many others, this advantage, that their author is still alive, and ready
(as his extensive charity makes us expect) to explain whatever may
be found in them too sublime for vulgar understandings. This, Sir, makes
me presume to ask you, how the Hampstead hero's character could be
perfectly new[1] when the last letters came away, and yet Sir John
Suckling so well acquainted with it sixty years ago? I hope, Sir, you
will not take this amiss: I can assure you, I have a profound respect
for you; which makes me write this, with the same disposition with which
Longinus bids us read Homer and Plato.
"'When in reading,' says he, 'any of those celebrated authors, we meet
with a passage to which we cannot well reconcile our reasons, we ought
firmly to believe, that were those great wits present to answer for
themselves, we should to our wonder be convinced, that we only are guilty
of the mistakes we before attributed to them.' If you think fit to
remove the scruple that now torments me, it will be an encouragement to
me to settle a frequent correspondence with you, several things falling
in my way which would not, perhaps, be altogether foreign to your
purpose, and whereon your thoughts would be very acceptable to
"Your most humble servant,
"OBADIAH GREENHAT."
[Footnote 1: In No. 57 of "The Tatler" Steele wrote: "Letters from
Hampstead say, there is a coxcomb arrived there, of a kind which is
utterly new. The fellow has courage, which he takes himself to be obliged
to give proofs of every hour he lives. He is ever fighting with the men,
and contradicting the women. A lady, who sent him to me, superscribed
him with this description out of Suckling:
"'I am a man of war and might,
And know thus much, that I can fight,
Whether I am i' th' wrong or right.
Devoutly.
'No woman under Heaven I fear,
New oaths I can exactly swear;
And forty healths my brains will bear,
Most stoutly.'"
The "description out of Suckling" is from that writer's rondeau, "A
Soldier." As the poet died in 1642, Swift ridicules the statement
that this kind of coxcomb was "utterly new." [T.S.]]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 63.
FROM THURSDAY SEPTEMBER I. TO SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 3, 1709.
"SIR,[1]
"It must be allowed, that Esquire Bickerstaff is of all authors the most
ingenuous. There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a
mistake, though all the World sees them to be in downright nonsense.
You'll be pleased, Sir, to pardon this expression, for the same reason
for which you once desired us to excuse you when you seemed anything
dull. Most writers, like the generality of Paul Lorrain's[2] saints, seem
to place a peculiar vanity in dying hard. But you, Sir, to show a good
example to your brethren, have not only confessed, but of your own accord
mended the indictment. Nay, you have been so good-natured as to discover
beauties in it, which, I will assure you, he that drew it never dreamed
of: And to make your civility the more accomplished, you have honoured
him with the title of your kinsman,[3] which, though derived by the left
hand, he is not a little proud of. My brother (for such Obadiah is) being
at present very busy about nothing, has ordered me to return you his
sincere thanks for all these favours; and, as a small token of his
gratitude, to communicate to you the following piece of intelligence,
which, he thinks, belongs more properly to you than to any others of our
modern historians.
"_Madonella_, who as it was thought had long since taken her flight
towards the ethereal mansions, still walks, it seems, in the regions of
mortality; where she has found, by deep reflections on the revolution[4]
mentioned in yours of June the 23rd, that where early instructions have
been wanting to imprint true ideas of things on the tender souls of those
of her sex, they are never after able to arrive at such a pitch of
perfection, as to be above the laws of matter and motion; laws which are
considerably enforced by the principles usually imbibed in nurseries and
boarding-schools. To remedy this evil, she has laid the scheme of a
college for young damsels; where, instead of scissors, needles, and
samplers; pens, compasses, quadrants, books, manuscripts, Greek, Latin,
and Hebrew, are to take up their whole time. Only on holidays the
students will, for moderate exercise, be allowed to divert themselves
with the use of some of the lightest and most voluble weapons; and proper
care will be taken to give them at least a superficial tincture of the
ancient and modern Amazonian tactics. Of these military performances, the
direction is undertaken by Epicene,[5] the writer of 'Memoirs from the
Mediterranean,' who, by the help of some artificial poisons conveyed by
smells, has within these few weeks brought many persons of both sexes
to an untimely fate; and, what is more surprising, has, contrary to her
profession, with the same odours, revived others who had long since been
drowned in the whirlpools of Lethe. Another of the professors is to be a
certain lady, who is now publishing two of the choicest Saxon novels[6],
which are said to have been in as great repute with the ladies of Queen
Emma's Court, as the 'Memoirs from the New Atalantis' are with those of
ours. I shall make it my business to enquire into the progress of this
learned institution, and give you the first notice of their
'Philosophical Transactions[7], and Searches after Nature.'
"Yours, &c.
"TOBIAH GREENHAT."
[Footnote 1: This letter was introduced:
"From my own Apartment, September 2.
"The following letter being a panegyric upon me for a quality which every
man may attain, an acknowledgment of his faults; I thought it for the
good of my fellow writers to publish it." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: The Rev. Paul Lorrain was ordinary of Newgate Prison from
1698 until 1719. He issued the dying speeches and confessions of the
condemned criminals in the form of broadsheets. In these confessions,
the penitence of the criminals was most strongly emphasized, hence the
term "Lorrain's saints." Lorrain died in 1719. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 3: Isaac Bickerstaff, commenting on the letter in No. 59,
printed above, says: "I have looked over our pedigree upon the receipt of
this epistle, and find the Greenhats are a-kin to the Staffs. They
descend from Maudlin, the left-handed wife of Nehemiah Bickerstaff,
in the reign of Harry II." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 4: See No. 32 _ante_. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 5: Mrs. Mary de la RiviГЁre Manley, author of "Memoirs of
Europe, towards the Close of the Eighth Century" (1710), which she
dedicated to Isaac Bickerstaff, and of "Secret Memoirs and Manners ...
from the New Atalantis" (1709). She was associated with Swift in the
writing of several pamphlets In support of the Harley Administration,
and in his work on "The Examiner" (see vol. v., pp. 41, 118, and 171 of
the present edition of Swift's works).
Epicene is an allusion to Ben Jonson's comedy, "Epicoene; or, the
Silent Woman" (1609).
Mrs. Manley seems to have credited Steele with this attack on her, for
she attacked him, in turn, in her "New Atalantis," and printed, in her
dedication to the "Memoirs of Europe," Steele's denial of the authorship
of this paper. This did not, however, prevent her making new charges
against him. "The Narrative of Guiscard's Examination," "A Comment on Dr.
Hare's Sermon," and "The Duke of Marlborough's Vindication," were written
either by herself, or at the suggestion of, and with instructions from,
Swift. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 6: Mrs. Elizabeth Elstob (1683-1756), a niece of the learned
Dr. Hickes, issued, in 1709, "An English-Saxon Homily on the Birthday
of St. Gregory." The work was dedicated to Queen Anne. She was a friend
of Mary Granville, afterwards Mrs. Pendarves, and better known as Mrs.
Delany. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 7: An allusion to "Useful Transactions in Philosophy," etc.,
January and February, 1708/9, which commenced with an article entitled
"An Essay on the Invention of Samplers," by Mrs. Arabella Manly (_sic_).
She had a friend, Mrs. Betty Clavel. [T.S.]]
THE TATLER, NUMB. 66.
FROM THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 8. TO SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 10. 1709.
_Wills Coffee-house, September_ 9.
We have been very much perplexed here this evening, by two gentlemen who
took upon them to talk as loud as if it were expected from them to
entertain the company. Their subject was eloquence and graceful action.
Lysander, who is something particular in his way of thinking and
speaking, told us, "a man could not be eloquent without action: for the
deportment of the body, the turn of the eye, and an apt sound to every
word that is uttered, must all conspire to make an accomplished speaker.
Action in one that speaks in public, is the same thing which a good
mien is in ordinary life. Thus, as a certain insensibility in the
countenance recommends a sentence of humour and jest, so it must be a
very lively consciousness that gives grace to great sentiments: For the
jest is to be a thing unexpected; therefore your undesigning manner is a
beauty in expressions of mirth; but when you are to talk on a set
subject, the more you are moved yourself, the more you will move others.
"There is," said he, "a remarkable example of that kind: Aeschines, a
famous orator of antiquity, had pleaded at Athens in a great cause
against Demosthenes; but having lost it, retired to Rhodes. Eloquence was
then the quality most admired among men; and the magistrates of that
place having heard he had a copy of the speech of Demosthenes, desired
him to repeat both their pleadings. After his own, he recited also the
oration of his antagonist. The people expressed their admiration of both,
but more of that of Demosthenes. 'If you are,' said he, 'thus touched
with hearing only what that great orator said, how would you have been
affected had you seen him speak? for he who hears Demosthenes only, loses
much the better part of the oration.' Certain it is, that they who speak
gracefully, are very lamely represented, in having their speeches read or
repeated by unskilful people; for there is something native to each man,
that is so inherent to his thoughts and sentiments, which it is hardly
possible for another to give a true idea of. You may observe in common
talk, when a sentence of any man's is repeated, an acquaintance of his
shall immediately observe, 'That is so like him, methinks I see how
he looked when he said it.' But of all the people on the earth, there are
none who puzzle me so much as the clergy of Great Britain, who are, I
believe, the most learned body of men now in the world; and yet this art
of speaking, with the proper ornaments of voice and gesture, is wholly
neglected among them; and I will engage, were a deaf man to behold the
greater part of them preach, he would rather think they were reading the
contents only of some discourse they intended to make, than actually in
the body of an oration, even when they are upon matters of such a nature
as one would believe it were impossible to think of without emotion.
"I own there are exceptions to this general observation, and that the
Dean[1] we heard the other day together, is an orator. He has so much
regard to his congregation, that he commits to his memory what he is to
say to them; and has so soft and graceful a behaviour, that it must
attract your attention. His person it is to be confessed is no small
recommendation; but he is to be highly commended for not losing that
advantage, and adding to the propriety of speech (which might pass the
criticism of Longinus)[2] an action which would have been approved by
Demosthenes. He has a peculiar force in his way, and has many of his
audience[3] who could not be intelligent hearers of his discourse,
were there not explanation as well as grace in his action. This art of
his is used with the most exact and honest skill: he never attempts your
passions, till he has convinced your reason. All the objections which he
can form, are laid before you and dispersed, before he uses the least
vehemence in his sermon; but when he thinks he has your head, he very
soon wins your heart; and never pretends to show the beauty of holiness,
till he has convinced you of the truth of it.
