The farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational creature. He
spoke often to me, but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like that
of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered as
loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within
two yards of me; but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to
each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his
handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left
hand, which he placed flat on the ground, with the palm upwards, making
me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a
foot in thickness.

I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at
full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he lapped
me up to the head for farther security, and in this manner carried me
home to his house. There he called his wife, and showed me to her; but
she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the sight of a toad
or a spider. However, when she had awhile seen my behavior, and how well
I observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by
degrees grew extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was
only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of an
husbandman) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The
company were the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old
grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some
distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the
floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the
edge for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled
some bread on a trencher,[45] and placed it before me. I made her a low
bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them
exceeding delight.

The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about three
gallons, and filled it with drink: I took up the vessel with much
difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her
ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English,
which made the company laugh so heartily that I was almost deafened by
the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not
unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher-side;
but as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as
the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened to
stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt.
I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in much
concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners),
and, waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show that I had got
no mischief by my fall.

But advancing forwards towards my master (as I shall henceforth call
him), his youngest son, who sat next him, an arch boy of about ten years
old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I
trembled in every limb; but his father snatched me from him, and at the
same time gave him such a box in the left ear as would have felled an
European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the
table. But being afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and well
remembering how mischievous all children among us naturally are to
sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees,
and, pointing to the boy, made my master to understand as well as I
could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father complied,
and the lad took his seat again; whereupon I went to him and kissed his
hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me gently with it.

In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favorite cat leapt into her lap. I
heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at work;
and, turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of that
animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I computed by
the view of her head and one of her paws, while her mistress was feeding
and stroking her. The fierceness of this creature's countenance
altogether discomposed me, though I stood at the further end of the
table, above fifty feet off, and although my mistress held her fast, for
fear she might give a spring and seize me in her talons.

But it happened there was no danger; for the cat took not the least
notice of me, when my master placed me within three yards of her. And as
I have been always told, and found true by experience in my travels,
that flying or discovering[46] fear before a fierce animal is a certain
way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved in this dangerous
juncture to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or
six times before the very head of the cat, and came within half a yard
of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of
me. I had less apprehension concerning the dogs, whereof three or four
came into the room, as it is usual in farmers' houses; one of which was
a mastiff equal in bulk to four elephants, and a greyhound somewhat
taller than the mastiff, but not so large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year
old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you
might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea,[47] after the usual
oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother out of pure
indulgence took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently
seized me by the middle and got my head in its mouth, where I roared so
loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should
infallibly have broke my neck if the mother had not held her apron
under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle, which was
a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a
cable to the child's waist. As she sat down close to the table on which
I stood, her appearance astonished me not a little. This made me reflect
upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to
us, only because they are of our own size, and their defects not to be
seen but through a magnifying glass, where we find by experiment that
the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse and ill-colored.

I remember, when I was at Lilliput, the complexions of those diminutive
people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon this
subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of
mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when he
looked on me from the ground than it did upon a nearer view, when I took
him up in my hand and brought him close, which he confessed was at first
a very shocking sight. He said he could discover great holes in my skin;
that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than the bristles of
a boar, and my complexion made up of several colors altogether
disagreeable: although I must beg leave to say for myself that I am as
fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburnt by my
travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies of that emperor's
court, he used to tell me one had freckles, another too wide a mouth, a
third too large a nose, nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I
confess this reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not
forbear, lest the reader might think those vast creatures were actually
deformed: for I must do them justice to say they are a comely race of
people; and particularly the features of my master's countenance,
although he were but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height of
sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

When dinner was done my master went out to his labors, and, as I could
discover by his voice and gestures, gave his wife a strict charge to
take care of me. I was very much tired and disposed to sleep, which, my
mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a
clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a
man-of-war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamed I was at home with my wife and
children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked and found myself
alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and above
two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone
about her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight
yards from the floor.

[Illustration: "I ... DREW MY HANGER TO DEFEND MYSELF." P. 18.]

Presently two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling backwards and
forwards on my bed. One of them came almost up to my face; whereupon I
rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend myself. The horrible
animals had the boldness to attack me both sides, and one of them held
his forefeet at my collar; but I killed him before he could do me any
mischief. He fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his
comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound on the back,
which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him.
After this exploit I walked gently to and fro on the bed to recover my
breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large
mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that, if I had
taken off my belt before I went to sleep, I must infallibly have been
torn to pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and
found it to be two yards long wanting an inch; but it went against my
stomach to draw the carcase off the bed, where it still lay bleeding. I
observed it had yet some life; but, with a strong slash across the neck,
I thoroughly despatched it.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the
like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to
grovelling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to
enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of
public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting
this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been
chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of teaming or
style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an impression
on my mind, and is so deeply memory, that in committing it to paper I
did not omit one material circumstance. However, upon a strict review, I
blotted out several passages of less moment which were in my first copy,
for fear of being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travellers
are often, perhaps not without justice, accused.




CHAPTER II.

     A DESCRIPTION OF THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER. THE AUTHOR CARRIED TO A
     MARKET-TOWN, AND THEN TO THE METROPOLIS. THE PARTICULARS OF THIS
     JOURNEY.


My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of toward parts
for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in dressing her
baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby's cradle for me
against night. The cradle was put into a small drawer cabinet, and the
drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was my bed
all the time I stayed with these people, though made more convenient by
degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my wants known.

She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as
could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she
constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my
school-mistress, to teach me the language. When I pointed to anything,
she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I
was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was very
good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her age.
She gave me the name of Grildrig, which the family took up, and
afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call
_nanunculus_, the Italians _homunceletino_, and the English _mannikin_.
To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country. We never parted
while I was there; I called her my Glumdalclitch, or little nurse; and
should be guilty of great ingratitude if I omitted this honorable
mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it
lay in my power to requite as she deserves.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighborhood, that my
master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a
_splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;
which it likewise imitated in all its actions, seemed to speak in a
little language of its own, had already learned several words of theirs,
went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was
called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a
complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another
farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master,
came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I
was immediately produced and placed upon a table, where I walked as I
was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my
master's guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him
_he was welcome_, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man,
who was old and dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better,
at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes
appeared like the full moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our
people, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in
laughing, at which the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of
countenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to my
misfortune, he well deserved it by the cursed advice he gave my
master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town, which
was half an hour's riding, about two-and-twenty miles from our house. I
guessed there was some mischief contriving, when I observed my master
and his friend whispering long together, sometimes pointing at me; and
my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood some of their
words.

[Illustration: "I CALLED HER MY GLUMDALCLITCH." P. 22.]

But the next morning, Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole
matter, which she had cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor
girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a-weeping with shame and grief. She
apprehended some mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who
might squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in
their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my nature, how
nicely I regarded my honor, and what an indignity conceive it to be
exposed for money, as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people.
She said her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers,
but now she found they meant to serve her as they did last year when
they pretended to give her a lamb, and yet as soon as it was fat sold it
to a butcher. For my own part I may truly affirm that I was less
concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which left me, that I
should one day recover my liberty; to the ignominy of being carried
about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the
country, and that such a misfortune could never be charged upon me as a
reproach if ever I should return to England; since the king of Great
Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box
the next market-day, to the neighboring town, and took along with him
his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion[48] behind him. The box
was close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and
a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put
the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I
was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it were but
of half an hour. For the horse went about forty feet at every step, and
trotted so high that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling
of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent; our journey was
somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted at
an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the
innkeeper and making some necessary preparations, he hired the
_grultrud_, or crier, to give notice through the town, of a strange
creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a
_splacnuck_ (an animal in that country, very finely shaped, about six
feet long), and in every part of the body resembling a human creature,
could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might be
near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool
close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My
master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to
see me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded. She asked me
questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached,
and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to
the company, paid my humble respects, said they were welcome, and used
some other speeches I had been taught. I took a thimble filled with
liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank their
health. I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it, after the manner
of fencers in England. My nurse gave me part of a straw, which I
exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that day
shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over again
the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and vexation.
For those who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that the people
were ready to break down the doors to come in.

My master, for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me
except my nurse, and, to prevent danger, benches were set round the
table at such a distance as to put me out of everybody's reach. However,
an unlucky school-boy aimed a hazel-nut directly at my head, which very
narrowly missed me: otherwise, it came with so much violence, that it
would have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large
as a small pumpion,[49] but I had the satisfaction to see the young
rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.

[Illustration: "FLOURISHED IT AFTER THE MANNER OF FENCERS IN ENGLAND."
P. 26.]

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next
market-day, and in the meantime he prepared a more convenient vehicle
for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my
first journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together,
that I could hardly stand upon my legs or speak a word. It was at least
three days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest
at home, all the neighboring gentleman, from a hundred miles round,
hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master's own house. There could
not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for the
country was very populous); and my master demanded the rate of a full
room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a single
family; so that for some time I had but little ease every day of the
week (except Wednesday which is their Sabbath), although I was not
carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was like to be, resolved to carry me
to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having, therefore,
provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and
settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the
seventeenth of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set
out for the metropolis, situated the middle of that empire, and about
three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made his
daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a
box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the
softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with
her baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made
everything as conveniently as she could. We had no other company but a
boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.

My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to
step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village, or
person of quality's house, where he might expect custom. We made easy
journeys of not above seven or eight score miles a day; for
Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with
the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box at my own
desire, to give me air and show me the country, but always held me fast
by a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees
broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly a
rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten weeks in
our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides many
villages and private families.

[Illustration]

On the twenty-sixth of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in
their language, _Lorbrulgrud_, or Pride of the Universe. My master took
a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal
palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact
description of my person and parts.[50] He hired a large room between
three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in
diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and palisadoed it round three
feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was
shown ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I
could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood
every word that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learned their alphabet,
and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for
Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at
leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her
pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas;[51] it was a common
treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their
religion; out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the
words.




CHAPTER III.

     THE AUTHOR SENT FOR TO COURT. THE QUEEN BUYS HIM OF HIS MASTER THE
     FARMER, AND PRESENTS HIM TO THE KING. HE DISPUTES WITH HIS
     MAJESTY'S GREAT SCHOLARS. AN APARTMENT AT COURT PROVIDED FOR THE
     AUTHOR. HE IS IN HIGH FAVOR WITH THE QUEEN. HE STANDS UP FOR THE
     HONOR OF HIS OWN COUNTRY. HE QUARRELS WITH THE QUEEN'S DWARF.


The frequent labors I underwent every day, made in a few weeks a very
considerable change in my health; the more my master got by me, the more
insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced
to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and, concluding I must soon die,
resolved to make as good a hand of me[52] as he could. While he was thus
reasoning and resolving with himself, a _slardral_, or gentleman-usher,
came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither,
for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had
already been to see me, and reported strange things of my beauty,
behavior, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were
beyond measure delighted with my demeanor. I fell on my knees and begged
the honor of kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held
out her little finger towards me, after I was set on a table, which I
embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect
to my lip.

She made me some general questions about my country, and my travels,
which I answered as distinctly, and in as few words, as I could. She
asked whether I would be content to live at court. I bowed down to the
board of the table, and humbly answered that I was my master's slave;
but if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to
her majesty's service. She then asked my master whether he were willing
to sell me at a good price. He, who apprehended I could not live a
month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces
of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being the
bigness of eight hundred moidores[53]; but, for the proportion of all
things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among
them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas[54] would be in
England. I then said to the queen, since I was now her majesty's most
humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favor, that Glumdalclitch,
who had always attended me with so much care and kindness, and
understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and
continue to be my nurse and instructor.

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's consent,
who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the
poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew,
bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in good service, to
which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.

[Illustration: "THIS GRACIOUS PRINCESS HELD OUT HER LITTLE FINGER."
P. 32.]

The queen observed my coldness, and, when the farmer was gone out of
the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty
that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not
dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in
his field; which obligation was amply recompensed by the gain he had
made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now
sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to
kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much
impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every
hour of the day, and that, if my master had not thought my life in
danger, her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I
was out of all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so
great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the
world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix[55] of the creation;
so, I hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be
groundless, for I already found my spirits to revive, by the influence
of her most august presence.

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and
hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar
to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while
she was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was,
however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an
animal.

[Illustration: "SHE ... CARRIED ME TO THE KING." P. 36.]

She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who was then
retired to his cabinet.[56] His majesty, a prince of much gravity and
austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked
the queen, after a cold manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a
_splacnuck_; for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast
in her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who hath an infinite
deal of wit and humor, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire,[57]
and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did
in a very few words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the
cabinet-door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being
admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father's
house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions,
had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly
mathematics; yet, when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk
erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of
clockwork (which is in that country arrived to a very great perfection)
contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my voice, and
found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal
his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the relation I gave
him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story
concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set
of words, to make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination he
put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers,
no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect
knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases, which I had learned
at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly
waiting[58] according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen,
after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety, were of
different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be
produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not
framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness or
climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my
teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous
animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field-mice,
with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be
able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects,
which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could
not possibly do. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my
littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison; for the queen's
favorite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was nearly
thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded unanimously that I
was only _relplum scalcath_, which is interpreted literally, _lusus
naturae_;[59] a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy
of Europe: whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult
causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavored in vain to
disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all
difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I
applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty that I came from a
country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my
own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses were all in
proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend
myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could
do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen's arguments.
To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying, that the
farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The king, who had a
much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the
farmer, who, by good fortune, was not yet gone out of town; having
therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me
and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we had told him
might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular
care should be taken of me, and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should
still continue in her office of tending me, because he observed that we
had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was
provided for her at court; she had a sort of governess appointed to take
care of her education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants for
menial offices; but the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself.
The queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might
serve me for a bed-chamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I
should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and, according
to my directions, in three weeks finished to me a wooden chamber of
sixteen feet square and twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two
closets, like a London bed-chamber. The board that made the ceiling was
to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished
by her majesty's upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to
air, made it with her own hands, and, letting it down at night, locked
up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little
curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of
a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my
things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and
the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who
carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in a coach. I
desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in: the
smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen
among them; for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house
in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own,
fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the
thinnest silks that could be gotten to make me clothes, not much thicker
than an English blanket, very cumbersome, till I was accustomed to them.
They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the
Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit.

The queen became so fond of my company that she could not dine without
me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her Majesty ate, just at
her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on
the floor, near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire
set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, in
proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have
seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a baby-house: these my
little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals
as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the
queen but the two princesses royal the elder sixteen years old, and the
younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a bit
of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself: and her
diversion was to see me eat in miniature; for the queen (who had,
indeed, but a weak stomach) took up at one mouthful as much as a dozen
English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a
very nauseous sight. She would craunch the wing of a lark, bones and
all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of
a full-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in her mouth as big as two
twelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at
a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon
the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the
same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of
curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of
these enormous knives and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had
never till then beheld so terrible a sight.

It is the custom that every Wednesday (which, as I have before observed,
is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes
dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become
a great favorite; and, at these times, my little chair and table were
placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince
took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
religion, taws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him
the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his
judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations
upon all I said. But I confess that after I had been a little too
copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade, and wars by
sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the
prejudices of his education prevailed so far that he could not forbear
taking me up in his right hand, and, stroking me gently with the other,
after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, whether I was a whig or a
tory? Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a
white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the "Royal Sovereign[60],"
he observed how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be
mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and yet, says he, I dare
engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honor; they
contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses and cities;
they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they
dispute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my
color came and went several times with indignation, to hear our noble
country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the
arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honor, and truth, the
pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.

But, as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature
thoughts, I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after
having been accustomed, several months, to the sight and converse of
this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine eyes to be
of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from
their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that, if I had then beheld a
company of English lords and ladies in their finery, and birthday
clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of
strutting and bowing and prating, to say the truth, I should have been
strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his grandees
did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the
queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which
both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and there
could nothing be more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really
began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much, as the queen's dwarf, who
being of the lowest stature that ever in that country (for I verily
think he was not full thirty feet high) became so insolent at seeing a
creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger,
and look big, as he passed by me in the queen's ante-chamber, while I
was standing on some table, talking with the lords or ladies of the
court, and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness;
against which I could only revenge myself, by calling him brother,
challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usual in the
mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was
so nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon
the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up, as I was sitting down,
not thinking any harm; and let me drop into a large silver bowl of
cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears,
and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with
me; for Glumdalclitch, in that instant, happened to be at the other
end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted
presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and
took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to
bed; however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of
clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and,
as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which
he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favor; for, soon
after, the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw
him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what
extremity such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

[Illustration: "I COULD ONLY REVENGE MYSELF BY CALLING HIM BROTHER."
P. 42.]

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
although, at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate and, after
knocking out the marrow, placed the bone on the dish erect, as it stood
before. The dwarf watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone
to the sideboard, mounted upon the stool she stood on to take care of me
at meals, took me up in both hands, and, squeezing my legs together,
wedged them into the marrow-bone above my waist, where I stuck for some
time, and made a very ridiculous figure, I believe it was near a minute
before any one knew what was became of me; for I thought it below me to
cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not
scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf,
at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness;
and she used to ask me, whether the people of my country were as great
cowards as myself? The occasion was this; the kingdom is much pestered
with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a
Dunstable lark,[61] hardly gave me any rest, while I sat at dinner, with
their continual humming and buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes
alight upon my victuals. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or
forehead, where they stung me to the quick, and I had much ado to defend
myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting
when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf, to
catch a number of these insects in his hand, as school-boys do among us,
and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and
divert the queen. My remedy was, to cut them in pieces with my knife, as
they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

[Illustration]

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in my box upon a
window, as she usually did in fair days, to give me air (for I durst not
venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do
with cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat
down at my table to eat a piece of sweet-cake for my breakfast, above
twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming
louder than the drones[62] of as many bag-pipes. Some of them seized my
cake, and carried it piece-meal away; others flew about my head and
face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost
terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my
hanger, and attack them in the air. I despatched four of them, but the
rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These creatures were as
large as partridges; I took out their stings, found them an inch and a
half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all, and
having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts
of Europe, upon my return to England, I gave three of them to Gresham
College,[63] and kept the fourth for myself.

[Illustration]




CHAPTER IV.

     THE COUNTRY DESCRIBED. A PROPOSAL FOR CORRECTING MODERN MAPS. THE
     KING'S PALACE, AND SOME ACCOUNT OF THE METROPOLIS. THE AUTHOR'S WAY
     OF TRAVELLING. THE CHIEF TEMPLE DESCRIBED.


I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as
far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles round
Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended,
never went farther when she accompanied the king in his progresses, and
there staid till his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The
whole extent of this prince's dominions reacheth about six thousand
miles in length, and from three to five in breadth. From whence I cannot
but conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great error, by
supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was ever
my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the
great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their
maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the northwest
parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the northeast by a ridge of
mountains, thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by reason
of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know what
sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be
inhabited at all. On the three other sides it is bounded by the ocean.
There is not one sea-port in the whole kingdom, and those parts of the
coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and
the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest
of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from any
commerce with the rest of the world.

But the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with excellent
fish, for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea-fish are of
the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth catching,
whereby it is manifest, that nature, in the production of plants and
animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this
continent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by
philosophers. However, now and then, they take a whale, that happens to
be dashed against the rocks, which the common people feed on heartily.
These whales I have known so large, that a man could hardly carry one
upon his shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in
hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of them in a dish at the king's table,
which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for
I think indeed the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one
somewhat larger in Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a
hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my
curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city
stands upon almost two equal parts on each side the river that passes
through. It contains above eighty thousand houses, and about six hundred
thousand inhabitants. It is in length three _glomglungs_ (which make
about fifty-four English miles) and two and a half in breadth, as I
measured it myself in the royal map made by the king's order, which was
laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I
paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,
computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.

The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, about
seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and forty
feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to
Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out to
see the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party,
carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often take
me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the
houses and the people as we passed along the streets, I reckoned our
coach to be about the square of Westminster-hall, but not altogether so
high: however, I cannot be very exact.

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered
a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square and ten
high, for the convenience of travelling, because the other was somewhat
too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and cumbersome in the coach. It was
made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This
travelling closet was an exact square,[64] with a window in the middle
of three of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on
the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side,
which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the
person who carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put a
leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always the
office of some grave, trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I
attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to see
the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister of state in
the court; for I soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest
officers, I suppose more on account of their majesties' favor than any
merit of my own.

In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would
buckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I
had a full prospect of the country on three sides from my three windows.
I had in this closet a field-bed, and a hammock hung from the ceiling,
two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent being
tossed about by the agitation of the horse or the coach. And having been
long used to sea voyages, those motions, although sometimes very
violent, did not much discompose me.

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my travelling
closet, which Glumdalclitch held in her lap, in a kind of open sedan,
after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and attended by two
others in the queen's livery. The people, who had often heard of me,
were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl was complaisant
enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her hand, that I
might be more conveniently seen.

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom.
Accordingly, one day my nurse carried me thither, but I must truly say
I came back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand
feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which,
allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in
Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in
proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple.[65] But, not to
detract from a nation, to which during my life I shall acknowledge
myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed that whatever this famous
tower wants in height is amply made up in beauty and strength. For the
walls are nearly a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each
is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of
gods and emperors, cut in marble larger than life, placed in their
several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from
one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found
it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up
in her handkerchief and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among
other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond, as children at her age
usually are.