I desire it may be no disadvantage to me, that, by the new act of
parliament going to pass for preserving the game, I am not yet qualified
to keep a greyhound. If this should be the test of squirehood, it will
go hard with a great number of my fraternity, as well as myself, who
must all be unsquired, because a greyhound will not be allowed to keep
us company; and it is well known I have been a companion to his betters.
What has a greyhound to do with a squireship? Might I not be a real
squire, although there was no such thing as a greyhound in the world?
Pray tell me, sir, are greyhounds to be from henceforth the supporters
of every squire's coat of arms? Although I cannot keep a greyhound, may
not a greyhound help to keep me? May not I have an order from the
governors of the bank to keep a greyhound, with a _non obstante_ to the
act of parliament, as well as they have created a bank against the votes
of the two Houses? But, however, this difficulty will soon be overcome.
I am promised _125l._ a year for subscribing _500l._; and, of this
_500l._ I am to pay in only _25l._ ready money: The governors will trust
me for the rest, and pay themselves out of the interest by _25l._ _per
cent._ So that I intend to receive only _40l._ a-year, to qualify me for
keeping my family and a greyhound, and let the remaining _85l._ go on
till it makes _500l._ then _1000l._ then _10,000l._ then _100,000l._
then a million, and so forwards. This, I think, is much better (betwixt
you and me) than keeping fairs, and buying and selling bullocks; by
which I find, from experience, that little is to be gotten, in these
hard times. I am,
SIR,
Your friend, and
Servant to command,
A. B. ESQUIRE.
_Postscript_. I hope you will favourably represent my case to the
publisher of the paper above-mentioned.
Direct your letter for A. B. Esquire, at ---- in ----; and, pray, get some
parliament-man to frank it, for it will cost a groat postage to this
place.
THE
LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS
OF
EBENEZER ELLISTON.
WHO WAS EXECUTED THE SECOND DAY OF MAY, 1722.
_Published at his desire, for the common good._
_N. B. About the time that this speech was written, the Town was
much pestered with street-robbers; who, in a barbarous manner would
seize on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners, and after
they had robbed them, would leave them bound and gagged. It is
remarkable, that this speech had so good an effect, that there have
been very few robberies of that kind committed since._[34]
NOTE.
Burke spoke of Swift's tracts of a public nature, relating to
Ireland, as "those in which the Dean appears in the best light,
because they do honour to his heart as well as his head; furnishing
some additional proofs that, though he was very free in his abuse
of the inhabitants of that country, as well natives as foreigners,
he had their interest sincerely at heart, and perfectly understood
it."
The following tract on "The Last Words and Dying Speech of Ebenezer
Elliston" admirably illustrates Burke's remark.
The city of Dublin, at the time Swift wrote, was on a par with some
of the lower districts of New York City about twenty years ago,
which were dangerous in the extreme to traverse after dark. Robbers
in gangs would waylay pedestrians and leave them often badly
maltreated and maimed. These thieves and "roughs" became so
impudent and brazen in their business that the condition of the
city was a disgrace to the municipal government. To put down the
nuisance Swift took a characteristic method. Ebenezer Elliston had,
about this time, been executed for street robbery. Although given a
good education by his parents, he forsook his trade of a silk
weaver, and became a gambler and burglar. He was well known to the
other gangs which infested Dublin, but his death did not act as a
deterrent. Swift, in composing Elliston's pretended dying speech,
gave it the flavour and character of authenticity in order to
impose on the members of other gangs, and so successful was he in
his intention, that the speech was accepted as the real expression
of their late companion by the rest and had a most salutary effect.
Scott says it was "received as genuine by the banditti who had been
companions of his depredations, who were the more easily persuaded
of its authenticity as it contained none of the cant usual in the
dying speeches composed for malefactors by the Ordinary or the
ballad-makers. The threat which it held out of a list deposited
with a secure hand, containing their names, crimes, and place of
rendezvous, operated for a long time in preventing a repetition of
their villanies, which had previously been so common."
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that given by Faulkner
in the fourth volume of his edition of Swift printed in Dublin in
1735.
[T. S.]
THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON.
I am now going to suffer the just punishment for my crimes prescribed by
the law of God and my country. I know it is the constant custom, that
those who come to this place should have speeches made for them, and
cried about in their own hearing, as they are carried to execution; and
truly they are such speeches that although our fraternity be an ignorant
illiterate people, they would make a man ashamed to have such nonsense
and false English charged upon him even when he is going to the gallows:
They contain a pretended account of our birth and family; of the fact
for which we are to die; of our sincere repentance; and a declaration of
our religion.[35] I cannot expect to avoid the same treatment with my
predecessors. However, having had an education one or two degrees better
than those of my rank and profession;[36] I have been considering ever
since my commitment, what it might be proper for me to deliver upon this
occasion.
And first, I cannot say from the bottom of my heart, that I am truly
sorry for the offence I have given to God and the world; but I am very
much so, for the bad success of my villainies in bringing me to this
untimely end. For it is plainly evident, that after having some time ago
obtained a pardon from the crown, I again took up my old trade; my evil
habits were so rooted in me, and I was grown so unfit for any other
kind of employment. And therefore although in compliance with my
friends, I resolve to go to the gallows after the usual manner,
kneeling, with a book in my hand, and my eyes lift up; yet I shall feel
no more devotion in my heart than I have observed in some of my
comrades, who have been drunk among common whores the very night before
their execution. I can say further from my own knowledge, that two of my
fraternity after they had been hanged, and wonderfully came to life, and
made their escapes, as it sometimes happens, proved afterwards the
wickedest rogues I ever knew, and so continued until they were hanged
again for good and all; and yet they had the impudence at both times
they went to the gallows, to smite their breasts, and lift up their eyes
to Heaven all the way.
Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my own wicked dispositions and
that of my comrades, I give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more
unfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the government in ever
pardoning or transporting us; unless when we betray one another, as we
never fail to do, if we are sure to be well paid; and then a pardon may
do good; by the same rule, "That it is better to have but one fox in a
farm than three or four." But we generally make a shift to return after
being transported, and are ten times greater rogues than before, and
much more cunning. Besides, I know it by experience, that some hopes we
have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after we are condemned, is
always a great encouragement to us.
Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle young fellows, than the
company of those odious common whores we frequent, and of which this
town is full: These wretches put us upon all mischief to feed their
lusts and extravagancies: They are ten times more bloody and cruel than
men; their advice is always not to spare if we are pursued; they get
drunk with us, and are common to us all; and yet, if they can get
anything by it, are sure to be our betrayers.
Now, as I am a dying man, I have done something which may be of good use
to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only
honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked
brethren, the present places of their abode, with a short account of the
chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their
accomplice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise
set down the names of those we call our setters, of the wicked houses we
frequent, and of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have
solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon
oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbing, or
house-breaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name
there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the government.
Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they
will take it.
In the paper above mentioned, which I left with my friend, I have also
set down the names of several gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin
streets for three years past: I have told the circumstances of those
robberies; and shewn plainly that nothing but the want of common courage
was the cause of their misfortunes. I have therefore desired my friend,
that whenever any gentlemen happens to be robbed in the streets, he will
get that relation printed and published with the first letters of those
gentlemen's names, who by their own want of bravery are likely to be the
cause of all the mischief of that kind, which may happen for the future.
I cannot leave the world without a short description of that kind of
life, which I have led for some years past; and is exactly the same with
the rest of our wicked brethren.
Although we are generally so corrupted from our childhood, as to have no
sense of goodness; yet something heavy always hangs about us, I know not
what it is, that we are never easy till we are half drunk among our
whores and companions; nor sleep sound, unless we drink longer than we
can stand. If we go abroad in the day, a wise man would easily find us
to be rogues by our faces; we have such a suspicious, fearful, and
constrained countenance; often turning back, and slinking through narrow
lanes and alleys. I have never failed of knowing a brother thief by his
looks, though I never saw him before. Every man among us keeps his
particular whore, who is however common to us all, when we have a mind
to change. When we have got a booty, if it be in money, we divide it
equally among our companions, and soon squander it away on our vices in
those houses that receive us; for the master and mistress, and the very
tapster, go snacks; and besides make us pay treble reckonings. If our
plunder be plate, watches, rings, snuff-boxes, and the like; we have
customers in all quarters of the town to take them off. I have seen a
tankard worth fifteen pounds sold to a fellow in ---- street for twenty
shillings; and a gold watch for thirty. I have set down his name, and
that of several others in the paper already mentioned. We have setters
watching in corners, and by dead walls, to give us notice when a
gentleman goes by; especially if he be anything in drink. I believe in
my conscience, that if an account were made of a thousand pounds in
stolen goods; considering the low rates we sell them at, the bribes we
must give for concealment, the extortions of alehouse-reckonings, and
other necessary charges, there would not remain fifty pounds clear to be
divided among the robbers. And out of this we must find clothes for our
whores, besides treating them from morning to night; who, in requital,
reward us with nothing but treachery and the pox. For when our money is
gone, they are every moment threatening to inform against us, if we will
not go out to look for more. If anything in this world be like hell, as
I have heard it described by our clergy; the truest picture of it must
be in the back-room of one of our ale-houses at midnight; where a crew of
robbers and their whores are met together after a booty, and are
beginning to grow drunk, from which time, until they are past their
senses, is such a continued horrible noise of cursing, blasphemy,
lewdness, scurrility, and brutish behaviour; such roaring and confusion,
such a clatter of mugs and pots at each other's heads, that Bedlam, in
comparison, is a sober and orderly place: At last they all tumble from
their stools and benches, and sleep away the rest of the night; and
generally the landlord or his wife, or some other whore who has a
stronger head than the rest, picks their pockets before they wake. The
misfortune is, that we can never be easy till we are drunk; and our
drunkenness constantly exposes us to be more easily betrayed and taken.
This is a short picture of the life I have led; which is more miserable
than that of the poorest labourer who works for four pence a day; and
yet custom is so strong, that I am confident, if I could make my escape
at the foot of the gallows, I should be following the same course this
very evening. So that upon the whole, we ought to be looked upon as the
common enemies of mankind; whose interest it is to root us out likes
wolves, and other mischievous vermin, against which no fair play is
required.
If I have done service to men in what I have said, I shall hope I have
done service to God; and that will be better than a silly speech made
for me full of whining and canting, which I utterly despise, and have
never been used to; yet such a one I expect to have my ears tormented
with, as I am passing along the streets.
Good people fare ye well; bad as I am, I leave many worse behind me. I
hope you shall see me die like a man, the death of a dog.
E. E.
THE TRUTH
OF SOME
MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT,
EXAMINED
WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND.
NOTE.
These maxims, written in the year 1724, may be taken as Swift's
opening of his campaign against the oppressive legislation of
England which had brought Ireland to the degraded and
poverty-stricken condition it existed in at the time he wrote.
Burke characterizes these maxims as "a collection of State
Paradoxes, abounding with great sense and penetration." The
subjects they touch on are dealt with in greater detail in the
tracts which follow in this volume, and the reader is referred to
them and the notes for the causes which had brought Ireland in so
low a state.
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that given by Deane
Swift in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765.
[T. S.]
MAXIMS CONTROLLED[37] IN IRELAND.
There are certain maxims of state, founded upon long observation and
experience, drawn from the constant practice of the wisest nations, and
from the very principles of government, nor ever controlled by any
writer upon politics. Yet all these maxims do necessarily presuppose a
kingdom, or commonwealth, to have the same natural rights common to the
rest of mankind, who have entered into civil society; for if we could
conceive a nation where each of the inhabitants had but one eye, one
leg, and one hand, it is plain that, before you could institute them
into a republic, an allowance must be made for those material defects
wherein they differed from other mortals. Or, imagine a legislator
forming a system for the government of Bedlam, and, proceeding upon the
maxim that man is a sociable animal, should draw them out of their
cells, and form them into corporations or general assemblies; the
consequence might probably be, that they would fall foul on each other,
or burn the house over their own heads.
Of the like nature are innumerable errors committed by crude and short
thinkers, who reason upon general topics, without the least allowance
for the most important circumstances, which quite alter the nature of
the case.
This hath been the fate of those small dealers, who are every day
publishing their thoughts, either on paper or in their assemblies, for
improving the trade of Ireland, and referring us to the practice and
example of England, Holland, France, or other nations.
I shall, therefore, examine certain maxims of government, which
generally pass for uncontrolled in the world, and consider how far they
will suit with the present condition of this kingdom.
First, It is affirmed by wise men, that "The dearness of things
necessary for life, in a fruitful country, is a certain sign of wealth
and great commerce;" for when such necessaries are dear, it must
absolutely follow that money is cheap and plentiful.
But this is manifestly false in Ireland, for the following reason. Some
years ago, the species of money here did probably amount to six or seven
hundred thousand pounds;[38] and I have good cause to believe, that our
remittances then did not much exceed the cash brought in to us. But, the
prodigious discouragements we have since received in every branch of our
trade, by the frequent enforcements and rigorous execution of the
navigation-act,[39] the tyranny of under custom-house officers, the
yearly addition of absentees, the payments to regiments abroad, to civil
and military officers residing in England, the unexpected sudden demands
of great sums from the treasury, and some other drains of perhaps as
great consequence,[40] we now see ourselves reduced to a state (since we
have no friends) of being pitied by our enemies; at least, if our
enemies were of such a kind, as to be capable of any regard towards us
except of hatred and contempt.
Forty years are now passed since the Revolution, when the contention of
the British Empire was, most unfortunately for us, and altogether
against the usual course of such mighty changes in government, decided
in the least important nation; but with such ravages and ruin executed
on both sides, as to leave the kingdom a desert, which in some sort it
still continues. Neither did the long rebellions in 1641, make half such
a destruction of houses, plantations, and personal wealth, in both
kingdoms, as two years campaigns did in ours, by fighting England's
battles.
By slow degrees, and by the gentle treatment we received under two
auspicious reigns,[41] we grew able to live without running in debt. Our
absentees were but few: we had great indulgence in trade, a considerable
share in employments of church and state; and while the short leases
continued, which were let some years after the war ended, tenants paid
their rents with ease and cheerfulness, to the great regret of their
landlords, who had taken up a spirit of oppression that is not easily
removed. And although, in these short leases, the rent was gradually to
increase after short periods, yet, as soon as the terms elapsed, the
land was let to the highest bidder, most commonly without the least
effectual clause for building or planting. Yet, by many advantages,
which this island then possessed, and hath since utterly lost, the rents
of lands still grew higher upon every lease that expired, till they have
arrived at the present exorbitance; when the frog, over-swelling
himself, burst at last.
With the price of land of necessity rose that of corn and cattle, and
all other commodities that farmers deal in: hence likewise, obviously,
the rates of all goods and manufactures among shopkeepers, the wages of
servants, and hire of labourers. But although our miseries came on fast,
with neither trade nor money left; yet neither will the landlord abate
in his rent, nor can the tenant abate in the price of what that rent
must be paid with, nor any shopkeeper, tradesman, or labourer live, at
lower expense for food and clothing, than he did before.
I have been the larger upon this first head, because the same
observations will clear up and strengthen a good deal of what I shall
affirm upon the rest.
The second maxim of those who reason upon trade and government, is, to
assert that "Low interest is a certain sign of great plenty of money in
a nation," for which, as in many other articles, they produce the
examples of Holland and England. But, with relation to Ireland, this
maxim is likewise entirely false.
There are two reasons for the lowness of interest in any country. First,
that which is usually alleged, the great plenty of species; and this is
obvious. The second is, the want of trade, which seldom falls under
common observation, although it be equally true: for, where trade is
altogether discouraged, there are few borrowers. In those countries
where men can employ a large stock, the young merchant, whose fortune
may be four or five hundred pounds, will venture to borrow as much more,
and can afford a reasonable interest. Neither is it easy, at this day,
to find many of those, whose business reaches to employ even so
inconsiderable a sum, except among the importers of wine, who, as they
have most part of the present trade in these parts of Ireland in their
hands, so they are the most exorbitant, exacting, fraudulent dealers,
that ever trafficked in any nation, and are making all possible speed to
ruin both themselves and the nation.
From this defect of gentlemen's not knowing how to dispose of their
ready money, ariseth the high purchase of lands, which in all other
countries is reckoned a sign of wealth. For, the frugal squires, who
live below their incomes, have no other way to dispose of their savings
but by mortgage or purchase, by which the rates of land must naturally
increase; and if this trade continues long, under the uncertainty of
rents, the landed men of ready money will find it more for their
advantage to send their cash to England, and place it in the funds;
which I myself am determined to do, the first considerable sum I shall
be master of.
It hath likewise been a maxim among politicians, "That the great
increase of buildings in the metropolis, argues a flourishing state."
But this, I confess, hath been controlled from the example of London;
where, by the long and annual parliamentary session, such a number of
senators, with their families, friends, adherents, and expectants, draw
such prodigious numbers to that city, that the old hospitable custom of
lords and gentlemen living in their ancient seats among their tenants,
is almost lost in England; is laughed out of doors; insomuch that, in
the middle of summer, a legal House of Lords and Commons might be
brought in a few hours to London, from their country villas within
twelve miles round.
The case in Ireland is yet somewhat worse: For the absentees of great
estates, who, if they lived at home, would have many rich retainers in
their neighbourhoods, have learned to rack their lands, and shorten
their leases, as much as any residing squire; and the few remaining of
these latter, having some vain hope of employments for themselves, or
their children, and discouraged by the beggarliness and thievery of
their own miserable farmers and cottagers, or seduced by the vanity of
their wives, on pretence of their children's education (whereof the
fruits are so apparent,) together with that most wonderful, and yet more
unaccountable zeal, for a seat in their assembly, though at some years'
purchase of their whole estates: these, and some other motives better
let pass, have drawn such a concourse to this beggarly city, that the
dealers of the several branches of building have found out all the
commodious and inviting places for erecting new houses; while fifteen
hundred of the old ones, which is a seventh part of the whole city, are
said to be left uninhabited, and falling to ruin. Their method is the
same with that which was first introduced by Dr. Barebone at London, who
died a bankrupt.[42] The mason, the bricklayer, the carpenter, the
slater, and the glazier, take a lot of ground, club to build one or more
houses, unite their credit, their stock, and their money; and when their
work is finished, sell it to the best advantage they can. But, as it
often happens, and more every day, that their fund will not answer half
their design, they are forced to undersell it at the first story, and
are all reduced to beggary. Insomuch, that I know a certain fanatic
brewer, who is reported to have some hundreds of houses in this town, is
said to have purchased the greater part of them at half value from
ruined undertakers; hath intelligence of all new houses where the
finishing is at a stand, takes advantage of the builder's distress, and,
by the advantage of ready money, gets fifty _per cent._ at least for his
bargain.
It is another undisputed maxim in government, "That people are the
riches of a nation;" which is so universally granted, that it will be
hardly pardonable to bring it in doubt. And I will grant it to be so far
true, even in this island, that if we had the African custom, or
privilege, of selling our useless bodies for slaves to foreigners, it
would be the most useful branch of our trade, by ridding us of a most
unsupportable burthen, and bringing us money in the stead. But, in our
present situation, at least five children in six who are born, lie a
dead weight upon us, for want of employment. And a very skilful computer
assured me, that above one half of the souls in this kingdom supported
themselves by begging and thievery; whereof two thirds would be able to
get their bread in any other country upon earth.[43] Trade is the only
incitement to labour; where that fails, the poorer native must either
beg, steal, or starve, or be forced to quit his country. This hath made
me often wish, for some years past, that instead of discouraging our
people from seeking foreign soil, the public would rather pay for
transporting all our unnecessary mortals, whether Papists or
Protestants, to America; as drawbacks are sometimes allowed for
exporting commodities, where a nation is overstocked. I confess myself
to be touched with a very sensible pleasure, when I hear of a mortality
in any country parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay
for a filthy cabin, and two ridges of potatoes, treble the worth;
brought up to steal or beg, for want of work; to whom death would be the
best thing to be wished for on account both of themselves and the
public.[44]
Among all taxes imposed by the legislature, those upon luxury are
universally allowed to be the most equitable, and beneficial to the
subject; and the commonest reasoner on government might fill a volume
with arguments on the subject. Yet here again, by the singular fate of
Ireland, this maxim is utterly false; and the putting it in practice may
have such pernicious a consequence, as, I certainly believe, the
thoughts of the proposers were not able to reach.
The miseries we suffer by our absentees, are of a far more extensive
nature than seems to be commonly understood. I must vindicate myself to
the reader so far, as to declare solemnly, that what I shall say of
those lords and squires, doth not arise from the least regard I have for
their understandings, their virtues, or their persons: for, although I
have not the honour of the least acquaintance with any one among them,
(my ambition not soaring so high) yet I am too good a witness of the
situation they have been in for thirty years past; the veneration paid
them by the people, the high esteem they are in among the prime nobility
and gentry, the particular marks of favour and distinction they receive
from the Court; the weight and consequence of their interest, added to
their great zeal and application for preventing any hardships their
country might suffer from England, wisely considering that their own
fortunes and honours were embarked in the same bottom.
THE
BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,
AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.
PROPOSED TO CONTAIN ONE AND TWENTY VOLUMES IN QUARTO
_Begun April 20, 1724. To be continued Weekly, if due Encouragement be
given._
NOTE.
Swift's friends in Ireland were not many. He had no high opinion of
the people with whom he was compelled to live. But among those who
displeased him least, to use the phrase he employed in writing to
Pope, was a kindly and warm-hearted scholar named Sheridan.
Sheridan must have taken Swift's fancy, since they spent much time
together and wrote each other verses and nonsense rhymes. He had
failed in his attempt to keep up a school in Dublin, and refused
the headmastership of the school of Armagh which Lord Primate
Lindsay had offered him, through Swift's efforts. Swift however
obtained for him, from Carteret, one of the chaplaincies of the
Lord-Lieutenant and a small living near Cork. Unfortunately
Sheridan was struck off from the list of chaplains on the
information of one Richard Tighe who reported that Sheridan, on the
anniversary of the accession of the House of Hanover, had preached
from the text "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Poor
Sheridan had been totally unconscious of committing any
indiscretion, but he could not deny the fact.
It was at Quilca, a small county village, near Kells, that Sheridan
was accustomed to spend his vacations with his family at a small
house he owned there. Swift used often to use this house, at
Sheridan's desire, and spent many days there in quiet enjoyment
with Mrs. Dingley and Esther Johnson. The place and his life there
he has attempted to describe in the following piece; but the
description may also stand, as Scott observes, as "no bad
supplement to Swift's account of Ireland."
* * * * *
The text here given is based on that printed in the eighth volume
of the Edinburgh edition of 1761.
[T. S.]
THE
BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,
AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.[45]
But one lock and a half in the whole house.
The key of the garden door lost.
The empty bottles all uncleanable.
The vessels for drink few and leaky.
The new house all going to ruin before it is finished.
One hinge of the street door broke off, and the people forced to go out
and come in at the back-door.
The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks.
The beaufet letting in so much wind that it almost blows out the
candles.
The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him.
The little table loose and broken in the joints.
The passages open over head, by which the cats pass continually into the
cellar, and eat the victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and
executed by the sword.
The large table in a very tottering condition.
But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that in a very ill
state of health.
The kitchen perpetually crowded with savages.
Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country.
Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the servants, till supplied
from Kells.
An egregious want of all the most common necessary utensils.
Not a bit of turf in this cold weather; and Mrs. Johnson[46] and the
Dean in person, with all their servants, forced to assist at the bog, in
gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps.
The grate in the ladies' bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by
which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking
intolerably; and the Dean's great-coat was employed to stop the wind
from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have
been starved to death.
A messenger sent a mile to borrow an old broken tun-dish.
Bottles stopped with bits of wood and tow, instead of corks.
Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels
through the house, and is likewise employed to take the meat out of the
pot, for want of a flesh-fork.
Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink, and every comer
and goer as arrant a thief of everything he or she can lay their hands
on.
The spit blunted with poking into bogs for timber, and tears the meat to
pieces.
_Bellum atque foeminam_: or, A kitchen war between nurse and a nasty
crew of both sexes; she to preserve order and cleanliness, they to
destroy both; and they generally are conquerors.
_April_ 28. This morning the great fore-door quite open, dancing
backwards and forwards with all its weight upon the lower hinge, which
must have been broken if the Dean had not accidentally come and relieved
it.
A great hole in the floor of the ladies' chamber, every hour hazarding a
broken leg.
Two damnable iron spikes erect on the Dean's bedstead, by which he is in
danger of a broken shin at rising and going to bed.
The ladies' and Dean's servants growing fast into the manners and
thieveries of the natives; the ladies themselves very much corrupted;
the Dean perpetually storming, and in danger of either losing all his
flesh, or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace.
Mrs. Dingley[47] full of cares for herself, and blunders and negligence
for her friends. Mrs. Johnson sick and helpless. The Dean deaf and
fretting; the lady's maid awkward and clumsy; Robert lazy and forgetful;
William a pragmatical, ignorant, and conceited puppy; Robin and nurse
the two great and only supports of the family.
_Bellum lacteum_: or, The milky battle, fought between the Dean and the
crew of Quilca; the latter insisting on their privilege of not milking
till eleven in the forenoon; whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight
for her health. In this battle the Dean got the victory; but the crew of
Quilca begin to rebel again; for it is this day almost ten o'clock, and
Mrs. Johnson hath not got her milk.
A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants: "The worse their
sty--the longer they lie."[48]
Two great holes in the wall of the ladies' bed-chamber, just at the back
of the bed, and one of them directly behind Mrs. Johnson's pillow,
either of which would blow out a candle in the calmest day.
A
Short VIEW
OF THE
STATE
OF
IRELAND.
_DUBLIN_:
Printed by _S. HARDING_, next Door to the _Crown_ in _Copper-Alley_,
1727-8.
NOTE.
This tract, written and published towards the end of the year 1728,
summarizes the disadvantages under which Ireland suffered at the
time, and re-enforces the contention that these were mainly due to
England's jealousy and stupid indifference. Swift, however, does
not lose sight of the fact that the people of Ireland also were
somewhat to blame, though in a much less degree.
In Dublin, where tracts of this nature had now become almost
commonplace and where official interference in their publication
had been found unwise and even dangerous, the issue of the "Short
View" was effected without any official comment. In England,
however, where it was reprinted by Mist the journalist, it was
otherwise. Its publication brought down a prosecution on Mist, who,
no doubt, numbered this with the many others which were visited
upon him. It is an important tract, to which many historians of
Ireland have often referred.
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that of the first
edition and compared with that given by Sir Walter Scott.
[T. S.]
A SHORT VIEW
OF
THE STATE OF IRELAND.
I am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of
making men's court, when they are asked about the rate of lands, the
abilities of tenants, the state of trade and manufacture in this
Kingdom, and how their rents are paid, to answer, That in their
neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing condition, the rent and
purchase of land every day increasing. And if a gentleman happens to be
a little more sincere in his representations, besides being looked on as
not well affected, he is sure to have a dozen contradictors at his
elbow. I think it is no manner of secret why these questions are so
cordially asked, or so obligingly answered.
But since with regard to the affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using
all endeavours to subdue my indignation, to which indeed I am not
provoked by any personal interest, being not the owner of one spot of
ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by rules generally
known, and never contradicted, what are the true causes of any country's
flourishing and growing rich, and then examine what effects arise from
those causes in the Kingdom of Ireland.
The first cause of a Kingdom's thriving is the fruitfulness of the soil,
to produce the necessaries and conveniences of life, not only sufficient
for the inhabitants, but for exportation into other countries.
The second, is the industry of the people in working up all their native
commodities to the last degree of manufacture.
The third, is the conveniency of safe ports and havens, to carry out
their own goods, as much manufactured, and bring in those of others, as
little manufactured as the nature of mutual commerce will allow.
The fourth, is, That the natives should as much as possible, export and
import their goods in vessels of their own timber, made in their own
country.
The fifth, is the liberty of a free trade in all foreign countries,
which will permit them, except those who are in war with their own
Prince or State.
The sixth, is, by being governed only by laws made with their own
consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all
appeals for justice, or applications, for favour or preferment to
another country, are so many grievous impoverishments.
The seventh, is, by improvement of land, encouragement of agriculture,
and thereby increasing the number of their people, without which any
country, however blessed by Nature, must continue poor.
The eighth, is the residence of the Princes, or chief administrators of
the civil power.
The ninth, is the concourse of foreigners for education, curiosity or
pleasure, or as to a general mart of trade.
The tenth, is by disposing all offices of honour, profit or trust, only
to the natives, or at least with very few exceptions, where strangers
have long inhabited the country, and are supposed to understand, and
regard the interest of it as their own.
The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and profits of employments,
are spent in the country which produced them, and not in another, the
former of which will certainly happen, where the love of our native
country prevails.
The twelfth, is by the public revenues being all spent and employed at
home, except on the occasions of a foreign war.
The thirteenth, is where the people are not obliged, unless they find it
for their own interest, or conveniency, to receive any monies, except of
their own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of all civilized
nations.
The fourteenth, is a disposition of the people of a country to wear
their own manufactures, and import as few incitements to luxury, either
in clothes, furniture, food or drink, as they possibly can live
conveniently without.
There are many other causes of a Nation's thriving, which I cannot at
present recollect; but without advantage from at least some of these,
after turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from
whence our wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better
informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to
Ireland of these causes, or of the effects and consequences.
It is not my intention to complain, but barely to relate facts, and the
matter is not of small importance. For it is allowed, that a man who
lives in a solitary house far from help, is not wise in endeavouring to
acquire in the neighbourhood, the reputation of being rich, because
those who come for gold, will go off with pewter and brass, rather than
return empty; and in the common practice of the world, those who possess
most wealth, make the least parade, which they leave to others, who have
nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their faces on the Exchange.
As to the first cause of a Nation's riches, being the fertility of the
soil, as well as temperature of climate, we have no reason to complain;
for although the quantity of unprofitable land in this Kingdom,
reckoning bog, and rock, and barren mountain, be double in proportion to
what it is in England, yet the native productions which both Kingdoms
deal in, are very near on equality in point of goodness, and might with
the same encouragement be as well manufactured. I except mines and
minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of
skill and industry.
In the second, which is the industry of the people, our misfortune is
not altogether owing to our own fault, but to a million of
discouragements.
The conveniency of ports and havens which Nature bestowed us so
liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful prospect to a man
shut up in a dungeon.
As to shipping of its own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that
of all the excellent timber cut down within these fifty or sixty years,
it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the benefit of one
valuable house to dwell in, or one ship to trade with.
Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient
or modern story, which was denied the liberty of exporting their native
commodities and manufactures wherever they pleased, except to countries
at war with their own Prince or State, yet this by the superiority of
mere power is refused us in the most momentous parts of commerce,[49]
besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down
upon us, and rigorously executed,[50] and a thousand other unexampled
circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto
the rest.
It is too well known that we are forced to obey some laws we never
consented to, which is a condition I must not call by its true
uncontroverted name for fear of my Lord Chief Justice Whitshed's ghost
with his _Libertas et natale solum_, written as a motto on his coach, as
it stood at the door of the court, while he was perjuring himself to
betray both.[51] Thus, we are in the condition of patients who have
physic sent them by doctors at a distance, strangers to their
constitution, and the nature of their disease: And thus, we are forced
to pay five hundred _per cent._ to divide our properties, in all which
we have likewise the honour to be distinguished from the whole race of
mankind.
As to improvement of land, those few who attempt that or planting,
through covetousness or want of skill, generally leave things worse than
they were, neither succeeding in trees nor hedges, and by running into
the fancy of grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every day
depopulating the country.
We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the
Viceroy is generally absent four-fifths of his time in the Government.
No strangers from other countries make this a part of their travels,
where they can expect to see nothing but scenes of misery and
desolation.[52]
Those who have the misfortune to be born here, have the least title to
any considerable employment to which they are seldom preferred, but upon
a political consideration.
One third part of the rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with
the profit of employments, pensions, appeals, journeys of pleasure or
health, education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities,
remittances at pleasure, the pay of all superior officers in the army
and other incidents, will amount to a full half of the income of the
whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England.
We are denied the liberty of coining gold, silver, or even copper. In
the Isle of Man, they coin their own silver, every petty Prince, vassal
to the Emperor, can coin what money he pleaseth.[53] And in this as in
most of the articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other
States or Monarchies that were ever known in the world.
As to the last, or fourteenth article, we take special care to act
diametrically contrary to it in the whole course of our lives. Both
sexes, but especially the women, despise and abhor to wear any of their
own manufactures, even those which are better made than in other
countries, particularly a sort of silk plaid, through which the workmen
are forced to run a sort of gold thread that it may pass for Indian.
Even ale and potatoes in great quantity are imported from England as
well as corn, and our foreign trade is little more than importation of
French wine, for which I am told we pay ready money.
Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be
glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a rich and
flourishing people, without liberty, trade, manufactures, inhabitants,
money, or the privilege of coining; without industry, labour or
improvement of lands, and with more than half of the rent and profits of
the whole Kingdom, annually exported, for which we receive not a single
farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the
linen of the North, a trade casual, corrupted, and at mercy, and some
butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every law of
Nature and Reason, like the thorn at Glastonbury, that blossoms in the
midst of Winter.
Let the worthy Commissioners who come from England ride round the
Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the face of the natives, the
improvement of the land, the thriving numerous plantations, the noble
woods, the abundance and vicinity of country seats, the commodious
farmers houses and barns, the towns and villages, where everybody is
busy and thriving with all kind of manufactures, the shops full of goods
wrought to perfection, and filled with customers, the comfortable diet
and dress, and dwellings of the people, the vast numbers of ships in our
harbours and docks, and shipwrights in our sea-port towns. The roads
crowded with carriers laden with rich manufactures, the perpetual
concourse to and fro of pompous equipages.
With what envy and admiration would these gentlemen return from so
delightful a progress? What glorious reports would they make when they
went back to England?
But my heart is too heavy to continue this journey[54] longer, for it is
manifest that whatever stranger took such a journey, would be apt to
think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland,[55] rather than in a
country so favoured by Nature as ours, both in fruitfulness of soil, and
temperature of climate. The miserable dress, and diet, and dwelling of
the people. The general desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old
seats of the nobility and gentry all in ruins, and no new ones in their
stead. The families of farmers who pay great rents, living in filth and
nastiness upon butter-milk and potatoes, without a shoe or stocking to
their feet, or a house so convenient as an English hog-sty to receive
them.[56] These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English
spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the language, and
returns back to his own country, whither he finds all our wealth
transmitted.
_NostrГў miseriГў magnus es._
There is not one argument used to prove the riches of Ireland, which is
not a logical demonstration of its poverty. The rise of our rents is
squeezed out of the very blood and vitals, and clothes, and dwellings of
the tenants who live worse than English beggars. The lowness of
interest, in all other countries a sign of wealth, is in us a proof of
misery, there being no trade to employ any borrower. Hence alone comes
the dearness of land, since the savers have no other way to lay out
their money. Hence the dearness of necessaries for life, because the
tenants cannot afford to pay such extravagant rates for land (which they
must take, or go a-begging) without raising the price of cattle, and of
corn, although they should live upon chaff. Hence our increase of
buildings in this City, because workmen have nothing to do but employ
one another, and one half of them are infallibly undone. Hence the daily
increase of bankers, who may be a necessary evil in a trading country,
but so ruinous in ours, who for their private advantage have sent away
all our silver, and one third of our gold, so that within three years
past the running cash of the Nation, which was about five hundred
thousand pounds, is now less than two, and must daily diminish unless we
have liberty to coin, as well as that important Kingdom the Isle of Man,
and the meanest Prince in the German Empire, as I before observed.[57]
I have sometimes thought, that this paradox of the Kingdom growing rich,
is chiefly owing to those worthy gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some
custom-house officers, birds of passage, oppressive thrifty squires, and
a few others that shall be nameless, are the only thriving people among
us: And I have often wished that a law were enacted to hang up half a
dozen bankers every year, and thereby interpose at least some short
delay, to the further ruin of Ireland.
"Ye are idle, ye are idle," answered Pharaoh to the Israelites, when
they complained to his Majesty, that they were forced to make bricks
without straw.
England enjoys every one of these advantages for enriching a Nation,
which I have above enumerated, and into the bargain, a good million
returned to them every year without labour or hazard, or one farthing
value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue
the payment, I am not under the least concern. One thing I know, that
_when the hen is starved to death, there will be no more golden eggs_.
