I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtile piece
of malice, that, because there may be a dozen families in this Town,
able to entertain their English friends in a generous manner at their
tables, their guests upon their return to England, shall report that we
wallow in riches and luxury.
Yet I confess I have known an hospital, where all the household officers
grew rich, while the poor for whose sake it was built, were almost
starving for want of food and raiment.
To conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, its wealth
and prosperity must be owing to certain causes, that are yet concealed
from the whole race of mankind, and the effects are equally invisible.
We need not wonder at strangers when they deliver such paradoxes, but a
native and inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same verdict, must
be either ignorant to stupidity, or a man-pleaser at the expense of all
honour, conscience and truth.
THE STORY
OF THE
INJURED LADY.
WRITTEN BY HERSELF.
AND
THE ANSWER TO THE
INJURED LADY.
NOTE.
Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift represents
England, Scotland, and Ireland--England being the gentleman and
Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is affecting an
honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents her
rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She
expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his
treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some
searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards
Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the story.
In "The Answer to the Injured Lady" which follows "The Story,"
Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her
future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates what
he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but formulates
it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her that
she should look to it that her "family and tenants have no
dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old
agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have the
same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you
should both agree to"; that she shall be free to carry her goods to
any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to whom
she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an agreement
with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If she
will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are
gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in her
resentment.
* * * * *
The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the
earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated with
that given by Faulkner.
[T. S.]
THE
STORY
OF THE
INJURED LADY.
Being a true PICTURE of SCOTCH Perfidy, IRISH
Poverty, and ENGLISH Partiality.
WITH
LETTERS and POEMS
Never before Printed.
* * * * *
By the Rev. Dr. SWIFT, D. S. P. D.
* * * * *
_LONDON_,
Printed for M. COOPER, at the _Globe_ in
_Pater-Noster-Row_. MDCCXLVI.
[Price One Shilling.]
SIR,
Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a
true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to
credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men.
A gentleman[58] in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and
myself;[59] and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three
houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a
river,[60] and from my rival's by an old broken wall.[61] But before I
enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will
give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself.
As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad
features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty
ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her
natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the
itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue,
honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her
education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common conversation.
To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by
pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who is now so fond
of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his
face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her house is frequented by a
company of rogues and thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to
rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of
mischief.[62] She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals,
and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force
him to pay for the trouble she was at. Once, attended with a crew of
ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy,
and then set it on fire. At the same time she told so many lies among
his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor _Steward_
was knocked on the head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the
Country, that she ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she
is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and
virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the
Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there
ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons.
I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with
modesty and truth.
I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I
became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair enough,
and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see me now
will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for
besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as
well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in. I might
add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now
turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been
the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64]
Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or
fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish,
I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and
his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue
were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that
causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I was
undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins,
half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and protestations
of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon began to play the
usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all occasions to shew
his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he found fault with
the government of my family, which I grant, was none of the best,
consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that time, I knew
but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore, I agreed to
fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that his
steward[65] should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an
under-steward,[66] who should receive his directions. My lover proceeded
further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and supplying me
with others from his own house. These grew so domineering and
unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but
perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my
lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling
out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their stead
with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had no other
way to provide for.[67] Overcome by love and to avoid noise and
contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in vain to
resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new servants,
and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table with the
best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land, and
treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as their
master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I had not
a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were of his
choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over the
greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he began
to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he would
answer, that I was an old dependant upon his family, whom he had placed
on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly,
neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall
never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with
all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast
obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for
my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times
more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for
him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea:
That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able,
to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he expected
his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must maintain a
parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries to an
overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom he
would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me the
better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to
carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll
on both sides, and then sell them at half value.[68] But because we were
a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch anything
we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to employ his own
folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his market just in their
naturals;[69] the milk immediately from the cow without making it into
cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass as it is mowed; the
wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring the fruit upon the
branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after our filthy hands:
That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and cheese to eat by the
way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings, he should forfeit his
whole parcel: And because a company of rogues usually plied on the river
between us, who often robbed my tenants of their goods and boats, he
ordered a waterman of his to guard them, whose manner was to be out of
the way until the poor wretches were plundered; then to overtake the
thieves, and seize all as lawful prize to his master and himself. It
would be endless to repeat a hundred other hardships he hath put upon
me; but it is a general rule, that whenever he imagines the smallest
advantage will redound to one of his footboys by any new oppression of
me and my whole family and estate, he never disputeth it a moment. All
this hath rendered me so very insignificant and contemptible at home,
that some servants to whom I pay the greatest wages, and many tenants
who have the most beneficial leases, are gone over to live with him; yet
I am bound to continue their wages, and pay their rents;[70] by which
means one third part of my whole income is spent on his estate, and
above another third by his tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so
sunk and impoverished, that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my
quality, they can hardly find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the
common necessaries of life for themselves.
Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received
intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing
overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some
misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened
to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having either
acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as tame a
fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but hearing at
the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private proposals to
join with me against him, and doubting, with very good reason, that I
would readily accept them, he seemed very much disconcerted.[71] This I
thought was a proper occasion to shew some great example of generosity
and love, and so, without further consideration, I sent him word, that
hearing there was likely to be a quarrel between him and my rival;
notwithstanding all that had passed, and without binding him to any
conditions in my own favour, I would stand by him against her and all
the world, while I had a penny in my purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This
message was subscribed by all my chief tenants; and proved so powerful,
that my rival immediately grew more tractable upon it. The result of
which was, that there is now a treaty of marriage concluded between
them,[72] the wedding clothes are bought, and nothing remaineth but to
perform the ceremony, which is put off for some days, because they
design it to be a public wedding. And to reward my love, constancy, and
generosity, he hath bestowed on me the office of being sempstress to his
grooms and footmen, which I am forced to accept or starve.[73] Yet, in
the midst of this my situation, I cannot but have some pity for this
deluded man, to cast himself away on an infamous creature, who, whatever
she pretendeth, I can prove, would at this very minute rather be a whore
to a certain great man, that shall be nameless, if she might have her
will.[74] For my part, I think, and so doth all the country too, that
the man is possessed; at least none of us are able to imagine what he
can possibly see in her, unless she hath bewitched him, or given him
some powder.
I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness,
that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I
could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads higher,
would be glad to accept.[75] But alas! I never had any such wicked
thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to be free
from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he will let me
manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for which I will
undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year, much more
considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he must needs
find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my tenants so
dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves. There is one
imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think unsufferable, and
will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether it be so or not. I
told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to have the same
steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate my family and
estate by the same method with him, which he then shewed me writ down
in form, and I approved of.[76] Now, the turn he thinks fit to give this
compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends that whatever
orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in his family, he
may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without asking my advice,
or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a lease without his
consent, or give any directions for the well-governing of my family, but
what he countermands whenever he pleaseth. This leaveth me at such
confusion and uncertainty, that my servants know not when to obey me,
and my tenants, although many of them be very well inclined, seem quite
at a loss.
But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I
hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth
upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice what
measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour, to
protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities I
lie under from that unkind, inconstant man.
THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY.
MADAM,
I have received your Ladyship's letter, and carefully considered every
part of it, and shall give you my opinion how you ought to proceed for
your own security. But first, I must beg leave to tell your Ladyship,
that you were guilty of an unpardonable weakness t'other day in making
that offer to your lover, of standing by him in any quarrel he might
have with your rival. You know very well, that she began to apprehend he
had designs of using her as he had done you; and common prudence might
have directed you rather to have entered into some measures with her for
joining against him, until he might at least be brought to some
reasonable terms: But your invincible hatred to that lady hath carried
your resentments so high, as to be the cause of your ruin; yet, if you
please to consider, this aversion of yours began a good while before she
became your rival, and was taken up by you and your family in a sort of
compliment to your lover, who formerly had a great abhorrence for her.
It is true, since that time you have suffered very much by her
encroachments upon your estate,[77] but she never pretended to govern or
direct you: And now you have drawn a new enemy upon yourself; for I
think you may count upon all the ill offices she can possibly do you by
her credit with her husband; whereas, if, instead of openly declaring
against her without any provocation, you had but sat still awhile, and
said nothing, that gentleman would have lessened his severity to you out
of perfect fear. This weakness of yours, you call generosity; but I
doubt there was more in the matter. In short, Madam, I have good
reasons to think you were betrayed to it by the pernicious counsels of
some about you: For to my certain knowledge, several of your tenants and
servants, to whom you have been very kind, are as arrant rascals as any
in the Country. I cannot but observe what a mighty difference there is
in one particular between your Ladyship and your rival. Having yielded
up your person, you thought nothing else worth defending, and therefore
you will not now insist upon those very conditions for which you yielded
at first. But your Ladyship cannot be ignorant, that some years since
your rival did the same thing, and upon no conditions at all; nay, this
gentleman kept her as a miss, and yet made her pay for her diet and
lodging.[78] But, it being at a time when he had no steward, and his
family out of order, she stole away, and hath now got the trick very
well known among the women of the town, to grant a man the favour over
night and the next day have the impudence to deny it to his face. But,
it is too late to reproach you with any former oversights, which cannot
now be rectified. I know the matters of fact as you relate them are true
and fairly represented. My advice therefore is this. Get your tenants
together as soon as you conveniently can, and make them agree to the
following resolutions.
_First_, That your family and tenants have no dependence upon the said
gentleman, further than by the old agreement, which obligeth you to have
the same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you
should both agree to.[79]
_Secondly_, That you will not carry your goods to the market of his
town, unless you please, nor be hindered from carrying them anywhere
else.[80]
_Thirdly_, That the servants you pay wages to shall live at home, or
forfeit their places.[81]
_Fourthly_, That whatever lease you make to a tenant, it shall not be in
his power to break it.[82]
If he will agree to these articles, I advise you to contribute as
largely as you can to all charges of Parish and County.
I can assure you, several of that gentleman's ablest tenants and
servants are against his severe usage of you, and would be glad of an
occasion to convince the rest of their error, if you will not be wanting
to yourself.
If the gentleman refuses these just and reasonable offers, pray let me
know it, and perhaps I may think of something else that will be more
effectual.
I am,
Madam,
Your Ladyship's, etc.
AN
ANSWER TO A PAPER,
CALLED
"A MEMORIAL
OF THE
POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1728.
NOTE.
This is, perhaps, as trenchant and fine a piece of writing as is to
be found in any of those pamphlets Swift wrote for the alleviation
of the miserable condition of Ireland. The author of the "Memorial"
to which Swift made this passionate reply was Sir John Browne, and
the purport of his writing may be easily gathered from Swift's
animadversions.
* * * * *
The text here given is based on that printed by Faulkner in 1735 in
the fourth volume of his collected edition of Swift's works. Scott
reprints Browne's "Memorial" and his reply to the present "Answer,"
but they are of little importance and in no way assist us in our
appreciation of Swift's work. The date of Swift's answer is given
by Faulkner as "March 25th, 1728," which year Scott misprints 1738,
evidently a printer's error, though the arrangement of the order of
the pamphlets in his edition leaves much to be desired.
[T. S.]
AN ANSWER TO A PAPER, CALLED
"A MEMORIAL
OF THE
POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."
I received a paper from you, wherever you are, printed without any name
of author or printer, and sent, I suppose, to me among others, without
any particular distinction. It contains a complaint of the dearness of
corn, and some schemes of making it cheaper which I cannot approve of.
But pray permit me, before I go further, to give you a short history of
the steps by which we arrived at this hopeful situation.
It was, indeed, the shameful practice of too many Irish farmers, to wear
out their ground with ploughing; while, either through poverty,
laziness, or ignorance, they neither took care to manure it as they
ought, nor gave time to any part of the land to recover itself; and,
when their leases are near expiring, being assured that their landlords
would not renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made such a havock,
that many landlords were considerable sufferers by it.
This gave birth to that abominable race of graziers, who, upon
expiration of the farmer's leases were ready to engross great quantities
of land; and the gentlemen having been before often ill paid, and their
land worn out of heart, were too easily tempted, when a rich grazier
made him an offer to take all his land, and give his security for
payment. Thus a vast tract of land, where twenty or thirty farmers
lived, together with their cottagers and labourers in their several
cabins, became all desolate, and easily managed by one or two herdsmen
and their boys; whereby the master-grazier, with little trouble, seized
to himself the livelihood of a hundred people.
It must be confessed, that the farmers were justly punished for their
knavery, brutality, and folly. But neither are the squires and landlords
to be excused; for to them is owing the depopulating of the country, the
vast number of beggars, and the ruin of those few sorry improvements we
had.
That farmers should be limited in ploughing is very reasonable, and
practised in England, and might have easily been done here by penal
clauses in their leases; but to deprive them, in a manner, altogether
from tilling their lands, was a most stupid want of thinking.
Had the farmers been confined to plough a certain quantity of land, with
a penalty of ten pounds an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther
limited for the three or four last years of their leases, all this evil
had been prevented; the nation would have saved a million of money, and
been more populous by above two hundred thousand souls.
For a people, denied the benefit of trade, to manage their lands in such
a manner as to produce nothing but what they are forbidden to trade
with,[83] or only such things as they can neither export nor manufacture
to advantage, is an absurdity that a wild Indian would be ashamed of;
especially when we add, that we are content to purchase this hopeful
commerce, by sending to foreign markets for our daily bread.
The grazier's employment is to feed great flocks of sheep, or black
cattle, or both. With regard to sheep, as folly is usually accompanied
with perverseness, so it is here. There is something so monstrous to
deal in a commodity (further than for our own use) which we are not
allowed to export manufactured, nor even unmanufactured, but to one
certain country, and only to some few ports in that country;[84] there
is, I say, something so sottish, that it wants a name in our language
to express it by: and the good of it is, that the more sheep we have,
the fewer human creatures are left to wear the wool, or eat the flesh.
Ajax was mad, when he mistook a flock of sheep for his enemies; but we
shall never be sober, until we have the same way of thinking.
The other part of the grazier's business is, what we call black-cattle,
producing hides, tallow, and beef for exportation: all which are good
and useful commodities, if rightly managed. But it seems, the greatest
part of the hides are sent out raw, for want of bark to tan them; and
that want will daily grow stronger; for I doubt the new project of
tanning without it is at an end. Our beef, I am afraid, still continues
scandalous in foreign markets, for the old reasons. But our tallow, for
anything I know, may be good. However, to bestow the whole kingdom on
beef and mutton, and thereby drive out half the people who should eat
their share, and force the rest to send sometimes as far as Egypt for
bread to eat with it, is a most peculiar and distinguished piece of
public economy, of which I have no comprehension.
I know very well that our ancestors the Scythians, and their posterity
our kinsmen the Tartars, lived upon the blood, and milk, and raw flesh
of their cattle, without one grain of corn; but I confess myself so
degenerate, that I am not easy without bread to my victuals.
What amazed me for a week or two, was to see, in this prodigious plenty
of cattle, and dearth of human creatures, and want of bread, as well as
money to buy it, that all kind of flesh-meat should be monstrously dear,
beyond what was ever known in this kingdom. I thought it a defect in the
laws, that there was not some regulation in the price of flesh, as well
as bread: but I imagine myself to have guessed out the reason: In short,
I am apt to think that the whole kingdom is overstocked with cattle,
both black and white; and as it is observed, that the poor Irish have a
vanity to be rather owners of two lean cows, than one fat, although
with double the charge of grazing, and but half the quantity of milk; so
I conceive it much more difficult at present to find a fat bullock or
wether, than it would be if half of both were fairly knocked on the
head: for I am assured that the district in the several markets called
Carrion Row is as reasonable as the poor can desire; only the
circumstance of money to purchase it, and of trade, or labour, to
purchase that money, are indeed wholly wanting.
Now, sir, to return more particularly to you and your memorial.
A hundred thousand barrels of wheat, you say, should be imported hither;
and ten thousand pounds premium to the importers. Have you looked into
the purse of the nation? I am no commissioner of the treasury; but am
well assured that the whole running cash would not supply you with a sum
to purchase so much corn, which, only at twenty shillings a barrel, will
be a hundred thousand pounds; and ten thousand more for the premiums.
But you will traffic for your corn with other goods: and where are those
goods? if you had them, they are all engaged to pay the rents of
absentees, and other occasions in London, besides a huge balance of
trade this year against us. Will foreigners take our bankers' papers? I
suppose they will value it at little more than so much a quire. Where
are these rich farmers and engrossers of corn, in so bad a year, and so
little sowing?
You are in pain of two shillings premium, and forget the twenty
shillings for the price; find me out the latter, and I will engage for
the former.
Your scheme for a tax for raising such a sum is all visionary, and owing
to a great want of knowledge in the _miserable state_ of this nation.
Tea, coffee, sugar, spices, wine, and foreign clothes, are the
particulars you mention upon which this tax should be raised. I will
allow the two first; because they are unwholesome; and the last, because
I should be glad if they were all burned: but I beg you will leave us
our wine to make us a while forget our misery; or give your tenants
leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a secret, which I
learned many years ago from the commissioners of the customs in London:
they said, when any commodity appeared to be taxed above a moderate
rate, the consequence was, to lessen that branch of the revenue by one
half; and one of those gentlemen pleasantly told me, that the mistake of
parliaments, on such occasions, was owing to an error of computing two
and two to make four; whereas, in the business of laying impositions,
two and two never made more than one; which happens by lessening the
import, and the strong temptation of running such goods as paid high
duties. At least in this kingdom, although the women are as vain and
extravagant as their lovers or their husbands can deserve, and the men
are fond enough of wine; yet the number of both who can afford such
expenses is so small, that the major part must refuse gratifying
themselves, and the duties will rather be lessened than increased. But,
allowing no force in this argument; yet so preternatural a sum as one
hundred and ten thousand pounds, raised all on a sudden, (for there is
no dallying with hunger,) is just in proportion with raising a million
and a half in England; which, as things now stand, would probably bring
that opulent kingdom under some difficulties.
You are concerned how strange and surprising it would be in foreign
parts to hear that the poor were starving in a RICH country,
&c. Are you in earnest? Is Ireland the rich country you mean? Or are you
insulting our poverty? Were you ever out of Ireland? Or were you ever in
it till of late? You may probably have a good employment, and are saving
all you can to purchase a good estate in England. But by talking so
familiarly of one hundred and ten thousand pounds, by a tax upon a few
commodities, it is plain you are either naturally or affectedly ignorant
of our present condition: or else you would know and allow, that such a
sum is not to be raised here, without a general excise; since, in
proportion to our wealth, we pay already in taxes more than England ever
did in the height of the war. And when you have brought over your corn,
who will be the buyers? Most certainly not the poor, who will not be
able to purchase the twentieth part of it.
Sir, upon the whole, your paper is a very crude piece, liable to more
objections than there are lines; but I think your meaning is good, and
so far you are pardonable.
If you will propose a general contribution in supporting the poor in
potatoes and butter-milk, till the new corn comes in, perhaps you may
succeed better, because the thing at least is possible; and I think if
our brethren in England would contribute upon this emergency, out of the
million they gain from us every year, they would do a piece of justice
as well as charity. In the mean time, go and preach to your own tenants,
to fall to the plough as fast as they can; and prevail with your
neighbouring squires to do the same with theirs; or else die with the
guilt of having driven away half the inhabitants, and starving the rest.
For as to your scheme of raising one hundred and ten thousand pounds, it
is as vain as that of Rabelais; which was, to squeeze out wind from the
posteriors of a dead ass.
But why all this concern for the poor? We want them not, as the country
is now managed; they may follow thousands of their leaders, and seek
their bread abroad. Where the plough has no work, one family can do the
business of fifty, and you may send away the other forty-nine. An
admirable piece of husbandry, never known or practised by the wisest
nations, who erroneously thought people to be the riches of a country!
If so wretched a state of things would allow it, methinks I could have a
malicious pleasure, after all the warning I have in vain given the
public, at my own peril, for several years past, to see the consequences
and events answering in every particular. I pretend to no sagacity: what
I writ was little more than what I had discoursed to several persons,
who were generally of my opinion; and it was obvious to every common
understanding, that such effects must needs follow from such causes;--a
fair issue of things begun upon party rage, while some sacrificed the
public to fury, and others to ambition: while a spirit of faction and
oppression reigned in every part of the country, where gentlemen,
instead of consulting the ease of their tenants, or cultivating their
lands, were worrying one another upon points of Whig and Tory, of High
Church and Low Church; which no more concerned them than the long and
famous controversy of strops for razors: while agriculture was wholly
discouraged, and consequently half the farmers and labourers, and poorer
tradesmen, forced to beggary or banishment. "Wisdom crieth in the
streets: Because I have called on ye; I have stretched out my hand, and
no man regarded; but ye have set at nought all my counsels, and would
none of my reproof; I also will laugh at your calamity, and mock when
your fear cometh."
I have now done with your Memorial, and freely excuse your mistakes,
since you appear to write as a stranger, and as of a country which is
left at liberty to enjoy the benefits of nature, and to make the best of
those advantages which God hath given it, in soil, climate, and
situation.
But having lately sent out a paper, entitled, _A Short View of the State
of Ireland_; and hearing of an objection, that some people think I have
treated the memory of the late Lord Chief Justice Whitshed with an
appearance of severity; since I may not probably have another
opportunity of explaining myself in that particular, I choose to do it
here. Laying it, therefore, down for a postulatum, which I suppose will
be universally granted, that no little creature of so mean a birth and
genius, had ever the honour to be a greater enemy to his country, and to
all kinds of virtue, than HE, I answer thus; Whether there be two
different goddesses called Fame, as some authors contend, or only one
goddess sounding two different trumpets, it is certain that people
distinguished for their villainy have as good a title for a blast from
the proper trumpet, as those who are most renowned for their virtues
have from the other; and have equal reason to complain if it be refused
them. And accordingly the names of the most celebrated profligates have
been faithfully transmitted down to posterity. And although the person
here understood acted his part in an obscure corner of the world, yet
his talents might have shone with lustre enough in the noblest scene.
As to my naming a person dead, the plain honest reason is the best. He
was armed with power, guilt, and will to do mischief, even where he was
not provoked, as appeared by his prosecuting two printers,[85] one to
death, and both to ruin, who had neither offended God nor the King, nor
him nor the public.
What an encouragement to vice is this! If an ill man be alive, and in
power, we dare not attack him; and if he be weary of the world, or of
his own villainies, he has nothing to do but die, and then his
reputation is safe. For these excellent casuists know just Latin enough
to have heard a most foolish precept, that _de mortuis nil nisi bonum_;
so that if Socrates, and Anytus his accuser, had happened to die
together, the charity of survivors must either have obliged them to hold
their peace, or to fix the same character on both. The only crime of
charging the dead is, when the least doubt remains whether the
accusation be true; but when men are openly abandoned, and lost to all
shame, they have no reason to think it hard if their memory be
reproached. Whoever reports, or otherwise publisheth, any thing which it
is possible may be false, that man is a slanderer; _hic niger est, hunc
tu, Romane, caveto_. Even the least misrepresentation, or aggravation of
facts, deserves the same censure, in some degree, but in this case, I am
quite deceived if my error hath not been on the side of extenuation.
I have now present before me the idea of some persons (I know not in
what part of the world) who spend every moment of their lives, and every
turn of their thoughts, while they are awake, (and probably of their
dreams while they sleep,) in the most detestable actions and designs;
who delight in mischief, scandal, and obloquy, with the hatred and
contempt of all mankind against them, but chiefly of those among their
own party and their own family; such whose odious qualities rival each
other for perfection: avarice, brutality, faction, pride, malice,
treachery, noise, impudence, dullness, ignorance, vanity, and revenge,
contending every moment for superiority in their breasts. Such creatures
are not to be reformed, neither is it prudence or safety to attempt a
reformation. Yet, although their memories will rot, there may be some
benefit for their survivors to smell it while it is rotting.
I am, Sir,
Your humble servant,
A. B.
Dublin,
March 25th, 1728.
ANSWER
TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN
PERSONS.[86]
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1729.
ANSWER TO SEVERAL LETTERS FROM UNKNOWN PERSONS.[87]
GENTLEMEN,
I am inclined to think that I received a letter from you two, last
summer, directed to Dublin, while I was in the country, whither it was
sent me; and I ordered an answer to it to be printed, but it seems it
had little effect, and I suppose this will have not much more. But the
heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing,
and their eyes they have closed. And, gentlemen, I am to tell you
another thing: That the world is so regardless of what we write for the
public good, that after we have delivered our thoughts, without any
prospect of advantage, or of reputation, which latter is not to be had
but by subscribing our names, we cannot prevail upon a printer to be at
the charge of sending it into the world, unless we will be at all or
half the expense; and although we are willing enough to bestow our
labours, we think it unreasonable to be out of pocket; because it
probably may not consist with the situation of our affairs.
I do very much approve your good intentions, and in a great measure your
manner of declaring them; and I do imagine you intended that the world
should not only know your sentiments, but my answer, which I shall
impartially give.
That great prelate, to whose care you directed your letter, sent it to
me this morning;[88] and I begin my answer to-night, not knowing what
interruption I may meet with.
I have ordered your letter to be printed, as it ought to be, along with
my answer; because I conceive it will be more acceptable and informing
to the kingdom.
I shall therefore now go on to answer your letter in all manner of
sincerity.
Although your letter be directed to me, yet I take myself to be only an
imaginary person; for, although I conjecture I had formerly one from
you, yet I never answered it otherwise than in print; neither was I at a
loss to know the reasons why so many people of this kingdom were
transporting themselves to America. And if this encouragement were owing
to a pamphlet written, giving an account of the country of Pennsylvania,
to tempt people to go thither, I do declare that those who were tempted,
by such a narrative, to such a journey, were fools, and the author a
most impudent knave; at least, if it be the same pamphlet I saw when it
first came out, which is above 25 years ago, dedicated to Will Penn
(whom by a mistake you call "Sir William Penn,") and styling him, by
authority of the Scripture, "Most Noble Governor." For I was very well
acquainted with Penn, and did, some years after, talk with him upon that
pamphlet, and the impudence of the author, who spoke so many things in
praise of the soil and climate, which Penn himself did absolutely
contradict. For he did assure me that his country wanted the shelter of
mountains, which left it open to the northern winds from Hudson's Bay
and the Frozen Sea, which destroyed all plantations of trees, and was
even pernicious to all common vegetables. But, indeed, New York,
Virginia, and other parts less northward, or more defended by mountains,
are described as excellent countries: but, upon what conditions of
advantage foreigners go thither, I am yet to seek.[89]
What evils do our people avoid by running from hence, is easier to be
determined. They conceive themselves to live under the tyranny of most
cruel exacting landlords, who have no view further than increasing their
rent-rolls. Secondly, you complain of the want of trade, whereof you
seem not to know the reason. Thirdly, you lament most justly the money
spent by absentees in England. Fourthly, you complain that your linen
manufacture declines. Fifthly, that your tithe-collectors oppress you.
Sixthly, that your children have no hopes of preferment in the church,
the revenue, or the army; to which you might have added the law, and all
civil employments whatsoever. Seventhly, you are undone for silver, and
want all other money.
I could easily add some other motives, which, to men of spirit, who
desire and expect, and think they deserve the common privileges of human
nature, would be of more force, than any you have yet named, to drive
them out of this kingdom. But, as these speculations may probably not
much affect the brains of your people, I shall choose to let them pass
unmentioned. Yet I cannot but observe, that my very good and virtuous
friend, his excellency Burnet, (_O fili, nec tali indigne parente!_)[90]
hath not hitherto been able to persuade his vassals, by his oratory in
the style of a command, to settle a revenue on his viceroyal person.[91]
I have been likewise assured, that in one of those colonies on the
continent, which nature hath so far favoured, as (by the industry of the
inhabitants) to produce a great quantity of excellent rice, the
stubbornness of the people, who having been told that the world is wide,
took it into their heads that they might sell their own rice at whatever
foreign markets they pleased, and seem, by their practice, very
unwilling to quit that opinion.
But, to return to my subject: I must confess to you both, that if one
reason of your people's deserting us be, the despair of things growing
better in their own country, I have not one syllable to answer; because
that would be to hope for what is impossible; and so I have been telling
the public these ten years. For there are three events which must
precede any such blessing: First, a liberty of trade; secondly, a share
of preferments in all kinds, to the British natives; and thirdly, a
return of those absentees, who take almost one half of the kingdom's
revenues. As to the first, there is nothing left us but despair; and for
the third, it will never happen till the kingdom hath no money to send
them; for which, in my own particular, I should not be sorry.
The exaction of landlords hath indeed been a grievance of above twenty
years' standing. But as to what you object about the severe clauses
relating to improvement, the fault lies wholly on the other side: for
the landlords, either by their ignorance, or greediness of making large
rent-rolls, have performed this matter so ill, as we see by experience,
that there is not one tenant in five hundred who hath made any
improvement worth mentioning. For which I appeal to any man who rides
through the kingdom, where little is to be found among the tenants but
beggary and desolation; the cabins of the Scotch themselves, in Ulster,
being as dirty and miserable as those of the wildest Irish. Whereas good
firm penal clauses for improvement, with a tolerable easy rent, and a
reasonable period of time, would, in twenty years, have increased the
rents of Ireland at least a third part in the intrinsic value.
I am glad to hear you speak with some decency of the clergy, and to
impute the exactions you lament to the managers or farmers of the
tithes. But you entirely mistake the fact; for I defy the most wicked
and most powerful clergymen in the kingdom to oppress the meanest farmer
in the parish; and I likewise defy the same clergyman to prevent himself
from being cheated by the same farmer, whenever that farmer shall be
disposed to be knavish or peevish. For, although the Ulster
tithing-teller is more advantageous to the clergy than any other in the
kingdom, yet the minister can demand no more than his tenth; and where
the corn much exceeds the small tithes, as, except in some districts, I
am told it always doth, he is at the mercy of every stubborn farmer,
especially of those whose sect as well as interest incline them to
opposition. However, I take it that your people bent for America do not
shew the best part of their prudence in making this one part of their
complaint: yet they are so far wise, as not to make the payment of
tithes a scruple of conscience, which is too gross for any Protestant
dissenter, except a Quaker, to pretend. But do your people indeed think,
that if tithes were abolished, or delivered into the hands of the
landlord, after the blessed manner in the Scotch spiritual economy, that
the tenant would sit easier in his rent under the same person, who must
be lord of the soil and of the tithe together?
I am ready enough to grant, that the oppression of landlords, the utter
ruin of trade, with its necessary consequence the want of money, half
the revenues of the kingdom spent abroad, the continued dearth of three
years, and the strong delusion in your people by false allurement from
America, may be the chief motives of their eagerness after such an
expedition. [But there is likewise another temptation, which is not of
inconsiderable weight; which is their itch of living in a country where
their sect is predominant, and where their eyes and consciences would
not be offended by the stumbling-block of ceremonies, habits, and
spiritual titles.[92]]
But I was surprised to find that those calamities, whereof we are
innocent, have been sufficient to drive many families out of their
country, who had no reason to complain of oppressive landlords. For,
while I was last year in the northern parts, a person of quality, whose
estate was let above 20 years ago, and then at a very reasonable rent,
some for leases of lives, and some perpetuities, did, in a few months,
purchase eleven of those leases at a very inconsiderable price, although
they were, two years ago, reckoned to pay but half value. From whence it
is manifest, that our present miserable condition, and the dismal
prospect of worse, with other reasons above assigned, are sufficient to
put men upon trying this desperate experiment, of changing the scene
they are in, although landlords should, by a miracle, become less
inhuman.
There is hardly a scheme proposed for improving the trade of this
kingdom, which doth not manifestly shew the stupidity and ignorance of
the proposer; and I laugh with contempt at those weak wise heads, who
proceed upon general maxims, or advise us to follow the examples of
Holland and England. These empirics talk by rote, without understanding
the constitution of the kingdom: as if a physician, knowing that
exercise contributed much to health, should prescribe to his patient
under a severe fit of the gout, to walk ten miles every morning. The
directions for Ireland are very short and plain; to encourage
agriculture and home consumption, and utterly discard all importations
which are not absolutely necessary for health or life. And how few
necessities, conveniences, or even comforts of life, are denied us by
nature, or not to be attained by labour and industry! Are those
detestable extravagancies of Flanders lace, English cloths of our own
wool, and other goods, Italian or Indian silks, tea, coffee, chocolate,
china-ware, and that profusion of wines, by the knavery of merchants
growing dearer every season, with a hundred unnecessary fopperies,
better known to others than me; are these, I say, fit for us, any more
than for the beggar who could not eat his veal without oranges? Is it
not the highest indignity to human nature, that men should be such
poltroons as to suffer the kingdom and themselves to be undone, by the
vanity, the folly, the pride, and wantonness of their wives,[93] who,
under their present corruptions, seem to be a kind of animal, suffered,
for our sins, to be sent into the world for the destruction of families,
societies, and kingdoms; and whose whole study seems directed to be as
expensive as they possibly can, in every useless article of living; who,
by long practice, can reconcile the most pernicious foreign drugs to
their health and pleasure, provided they are but expensive, as starlings
grow fat with henbane; who contract a robustness by mere practice of
sloth and luxury; who can play deep several hours after midnight, sleep
beyond noon, revel upon Indian poisons, and spend the revenue of a
moderate family to adorn a nauseous, unwholesome living carcase? Let
those few who are not concerned in any part of this accusation, suppose
it unsaid; let the rest take it among them. Gracious God, in His mercy,
look down upon a nation so shamefully besotted!
