This, on the other side, will be of great benefit to our inhabitants
the graziers; when time and labour will be too much taken up in manuring
their ground, feeding their cattle, shearing their sheep, and sending
over their oxen fit for slaughter; to which employments they are turned
by nature, as descended from the Scythians, whose diet they are still so
fond of. So Virgil describeth it:--
Et lac concretum cum sanguine bibit equino;
Which, in English, is bonnyclabber[144] mingled with the blood of
horses, as they formerly did, until about the beginning of the last
century luxury, under the form of politeness, began to creep in, they
changed the blood of horses for that of their black cattle, and, by
consequence, became less warlike than their ancestors.
Although I proposed that the army should be collectors of the public
revenues, yet I did not thereby intend that those taxes should be paid
in gold or silver; but in kind, as all other rent: For, the custom of
tenants making their payments in money, is a new thing in the world,
little known in former ages, nor generally practised in any nation at
present, except this island and the southern parts of Britain. But, to
my great satisfaction, I foresee better times; the ancient manner
beginneth to be now practised in many parts of Connaught, as well as in
the county of Cork; where the squires turn tenants to themselves, divide
so many cattle to their slaves, who are to provide such a quantity of
butter, hides, or tallow, still keeping up their number of cattle; and
carry the goods to Cork, or other port towns, and then sell them to the
merchants. By which invention there is no such thing as a ruined farmer
to be seen; but the people live with comfort on potatoes and
bonnyclabber, neither of which are vendible commodities abroad.
A
VINDICATION
OF
HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.
NOTE.
JOHN CARTERET, EARL GRANVILLE, succeeded to the Carteret
barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George,
the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at
Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter
place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and
philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House
of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant
succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the
Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden
he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in
1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover.
Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir
Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray.
In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern
province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he
intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a
party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the
King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for
George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton,
Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole,
however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to
Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the
office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this
time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government.
Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though,
in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of
Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's
halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the
present edition.
During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been
one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George
was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George,
however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of
George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was
re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was
during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct
Swift vindicates in the following tract.
The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper
of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often
consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not
appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion
to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation
against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott,
"visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing
the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber
of audience these lines:
'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task,
For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.'
Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply:
'My very good Dean, there are few who come here,
But have something to ask, or something to fear.'"
To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the
peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused
by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written
many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me
how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift
confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret
"had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than
most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his
well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name,
do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our
boobies again."
Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the
changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could
come only from the government in England, and as this was
implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was
therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he
could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement,
and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their
behalf.
Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his
chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs
in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of
their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure
him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals
who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his
usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows.
Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in
1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole,
which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House
of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his
presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was
compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no
relation to Irish affairs.
* * * * *
The present text is founded on that of the original London edition
printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date.
They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824.
[T. S.]
A
VINDICATION
OF HIS
EXCELLENCY
THE
Lord _C----T_,
FROM THE
CHARGE
Of favouring none but
TORIES, HIGH-CHURCHMEN and
JACOBITES.
* * * * *
By the Reverend Dr, _S----T_.
* * * * *
LONDON:
Printed for T. WARNER at the _Black-Boy_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_.
MDCCXXX.
(Price _6d._)
A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.
In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and
impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his
Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars,
which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation
he lies under.
He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the
Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for
what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former
Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean
that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with
Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th
day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt
of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our
posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which
day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now
alive.
His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of
Oxford,[145] from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he
carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a
person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are
forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to
load their heads with.
This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world,
and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon as he came to town,
some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning
and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately
dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain,
nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and
dispositions.
To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him
with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence,
and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his
youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best
fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education;
having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow
him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period
when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his
money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and
epidemic among persons of honour.
I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and
can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every
day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is
reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately
conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been
taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a
session, to the great neglect of public affairs.[146]
I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from
good hands, that when his Excellency is at dinner with one or two
scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and
unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table.
I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage.
For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most
comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and
vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life,
discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well
as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit
an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect
whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the
imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears
of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I
presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made
any mention of them.
These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think
it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to
be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education.
I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion
of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with
honour Pistorides.[147]) For these have decided the matter directly
against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under
the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at
a great man's levee in the worst of times,[148] should be allowed to
come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the
antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night.
However, I dare assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and
that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been
received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to
the nation.
Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater
importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed.
To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto
been taken to discover whether Madam Violante[149] be a Whig or Tory in
her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the
Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself
to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she
may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and
dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties,
who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least
apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson
himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.[150] And as
Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power,
it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power
ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any
legal security for her good affection to the government.
I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think
proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the
old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the
same loyalty with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King
George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of
Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but
having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure
to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and
melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of
trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with
other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and
Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers.
Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture
to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our
usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under
the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the
like.
This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning
mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties,
with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of
aversion on the other.
How hath he been pelted, pestered, and pounded by one single wag, who
promiseth never to forsake him living or dead![151]
I was much pleased with the humour of a surgeon in this town, who having
in his own apprehension, received some great injustice from the Earl of
Galway,[152] and despairing of revenge, as well as relief, declared to
all his friends that he had set apart a hundred guineas to purchase the
Earl's carcase from the sexton, whenever it should die; to make a
skeleton of the bones, stuff the hide, and shew them for threepence; and
thus get vengeance for the injuries he had suffered by the owner.
Of the like spirit too often is that implacable race of wits, against
whom there is no defence but innocence, and philosophy: Neither of
which is likely to be at hand; and therefore the wounded have nowhere to
fly for a cure, but to downright stupidity, a crazed head, or a
profligate contempt of guilt and shame.
I am therefore sorry for that other miserable creature Traulus,[153] who
although of somewhat a different species, yet seems very far to outdo
even the genius of Pistorides, in that miscarrying talent of railing
without consistency or discretion, against the most innocent persons,
according to the present situation of his gall and spleen. I do not
blame an _honest_ gentleman for the bitterest invectives against one to
whom he professeth the greatest friendship; provided he acts in the
dark, so as not to be discovered. But in the midst of caresses, visits,
and invitations, to run into the streets, or to as public a place, and
without the least pretended excitement, sputter out the basest and
falsest accusations; then to wipe his mouth, come up smiling to his
friend, shake him by the hand, and tell him in a whisper, it was "all
for his service;" this proceeding, I am bold to think a great failure in
prudence; and I am afraid lest such a practitioner, with a body so open,
so foul, and so full of sores, may fall under the resentment of an
incensed political surgeon, who is not in much renown for his mercy upon
great provocation: who without waiting for his death, will flay, and
dissect him alive, and to the view of mankind lay open all the
disordered cells of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corruption
of his heart, and spots and flatuses of his spleen--And all this for
threepence.[154]
In such a case what a scene would be laid open! and to drop my metaphor
what a character of our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw and
expose! particularizing that unnatural conjunction of vices and follies,
so inconsistent with each other in the same breast: Furious and fawning,
scurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking, insolent and abject;
most profligately false, with the strongest professions of sincerity,
positive and variable, tyrannical and slavish.
I apprehend that if all this should be set out to the world by an angry
Whig of the old stamp, the unavoidable consequence must be a confinement
of our friend for some months more to his garret, and thereby depriving
the public for so long a time, and in so important a juncture, of his
useful talents in their service, while he is fed like a wild beast
through a hole; but I hope with a special regard to the quantity and
quality of his nourishment.
In vain would his excusers endeavour to palliate his enormities, by
imputing them to madness:[155] Because, it is well known, that madness
only operates by inflaming and enlarging the good or evil dispositions
of the mind: For the curators of Bedlam assure us, that some lunatics
are persons of honour, truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which
appear in their highest ravings, although after a wild incoherent
manner; while others on the contrary, discover in every word and action
the utmost baseness and depravity of human minds; which infallibly they
possessed in the same degree, although perhaps under a better
regulation, before their entrance into that academy.
But it may be objected, that there is an argument of much force to
excuse the overflowings of that zeal, which our friend shews or means
for our cause. And it must be confessed, that the easy and smooth
fluency of his elocution bestowed on him by nature, and cultivated by
continual practice, added to the comeliness of his person, the harmony
of his voice, the gracefulness of his manner, and the decency of his
dress, are temptations too strong for such a genius to resist upon any
public occasion of making them appear with universal applause: And if
good men are sometimes accused of loving their jest better than their
friend, surely to gain the reputation of the first orator in the
kingdom, no man of spirit would scruple to lose all the friends he had
in the world.
It is usual for masters to make their boys declaim on both sides of an
argument; and as some kinds of assemblies are called the schools of
politics, I confess nothing can better improve political school-boys,
than the art of making plausible or implausible harangues, against the
very opinion for which they resolve to determine.
So Cardinal Perron after having spoke for an hour to the admiration of
all his hearers, to prove the existence of God; told some of his
intimates that he could have spoken another hour, and much better, to
prove the contrary.
I have placed this reasoning in the strongest light, that I think it
will bear; and have nothing to answer, but that allowing it as much
weight as the reader shall please, it hath constantly met with ill
success in the mouth of our friend, whether for want of good luck, or
good management I suspend my judgment.
To return from this long digression. If persons in high stations have
been allowed to choose mistresses, without regard even to difference in
religion, yet never incurred the least reflection on their loyalty or
their Protestantism; shall the chief governor of a great kingdom be
censured for choosing a companion, who may formerly have been suspected
for differing from the orthodox in some speculative opinions of persons
and things, which cannot affect the fundamental principles of a sound
Whig?
But let me suppose a very possible case. Here is a person sent to govern
Ireland, whose unfortunate weak side it happens to be, for several
reasons above-mentioned, that he hath encouraged the attendance of one or
two gentlemen distinguished for their taste, their wit, and their
learning; who have taken the oaths to his Majesty, and pray heartily for
him: Yet because they may perhaps be stigmatized as _quondam_ Tories by
Pistorides and his gang; his Excellency must be forced to banish them
under the pain and peril of displeasing the zealots of his own party;
and thereby be put into a worse condition than every common good-fellow;
who may be a sincere Protestant, and a loyal subject, and yet rather
choose to drink fine ale at the Pope's head, than muddy at the King's.
Let me then return to my supposition. It is certain, the high-flown
loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and
studies, and tongues so entirely diverted by political schemes, that
the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither
have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly
labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with
philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all
schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill
stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of
literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of
Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and
professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to
governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same
time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to
all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency,
and perhaps to five or six more in a nation.
I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the
times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former
ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for
is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house
clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession,
till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first.
I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so
obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse
is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have
produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly
informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session
quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some
book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great
stations are by.
I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this
mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning
and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because
the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons
directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world:
And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of
the Greeks and Romans made young men imbibe opinions against absolute
power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions
of liberty and property.
It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the
heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a
tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and
indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could
never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a
receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (_rightly spelt_) to
a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying;
whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world
with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.[156]
I could heartily wish his Excellency would be more condescending to the
genius of the kingdom he governs, to the condition of the times, and to
the nature of the station he fills. Yet if it be true, what I have read
in old English story-books, that one Agesilaus (no matter to the bulk of
my readers, whether I spell the names right or wrong) was caught by the
parson of the parish, riding on a hobby-horse with his children; that
Socrates a heathen philosopher, was found dancing by himself at
fourscore; that a king called Cæsar Augustus (or some such name) used to
play with boys; whereof some might possibly be sons of Tories; and, that
two great men called Scipio and Lælius, (I forget their Christian names,
and whether they were poets or generals,) often played at duck and drake
with smooth stones on a river. Now I say, if these facts be true (and
the book where I found them is in print) I cannot imagine why our most
zealous patriots may not a little indulge his Excellency, in an
infirmity which is not morally evil, provided he gives no public scandal
(which is by all means to be avoided) I say, why he may not be indulged
twice a week to converse with one or two particular persons, and let him
and them con over their old exploded readings together, after mornings
spent in hearing and prescribing ways and means from and to his most
obedient politicians, for the welfare of the kingdom; although the said
particular person or persons may not have made so public a declaration
of their political faith in all its parts, as the business of the nation
requires. Still submitting my opinion to that happy majority, which I am
confident is always in the right; by whom the liberty of the subject
hath been so frequently, so strenuously, and so successfully asserted;
who by their wise counsels have made commerce to flourish, money to
abound, inhabitants to increase, the value of lands and rents to rise;
and the whole island put on a new face of plenty and prosperity.
But in order to clear his Excellency, more fully from this accusation of
shewing his favours to high-flyers, Tories, and Jacobites; it will be
necessary to come to particulars.
The first person of a Tory denomination to whom his Excellency gave any
marks of his favour, was Doctor Thomas Sheridan.[157] It is to be
observed, that this happened so early in his Excellency's government, as
it may be justly supposed he had not been informed of that gentleman's
character upon so dangerous an article. The Doctor being well known and
distinguished, for his skill and success in the education of youth,
beyond most of his profession for many years past, was recommended to
his Excellency on the score of his learning, and particularly for his
knowledge in the Greek tongue, whereof it seems his Excellency is a
great admirer, although for what reasons I could never imagine. However
it is agreed on all hands, that his lordship was too easily prevailed on
by the Doctor's request, or indeed rather from the bias of his own
nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unknown language by the Doctor's
lads,[158] which was written by some heathen author, but whether it
contained any Tory or High-Church principles, must be left to the
consciences of the boys, the Doctor, and his Excellency: The only
witnesses in this case, whose testimonies can be depended upon.
It seems, his Excellency (a thing never to be sufficiently wondered at)
was so pleased with his entertainment, that some time after he gave the
Doctor a church living to the value of almost one hundred pounds a year,
and made him one of his chaplains, from an antiquated notion, that good
schoolmasters ought to be encouraged in every nation, professing
civility and religion. Yet his Excellency did not venture to make this
bold step without strong recommendations from persons of undoubted
principles, fitted to the times; who thought themselves bound in
justice, honour, and gratitude, to do the Doctor a good office in return
for the care he had taken of their children, or those of their
friends.[159] Yet the catastrophe was terrible: For, the Doctor in the
height of his felicity and gratitude, going down to take possession of
his parish, and furnished with a few led-sermons, whereof as it is to be
supposed the number was very small, having never served a cure in the
Church; he stopped at Cork to attend on his bishop; and going to church
on the Sunday following, was according to the usual civility of country
clergymen, invited by the minister of the parish to supply the pulpit.
It happened to be the first of August[160]; and the first of August
happened that year to light upon a Sunday: And it happened that the
Doctor's text was in these words; "Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof;" and lastly it happened, that some one person of the
congregation, whose loyalty made him watchful upon every appearance of
danger to his Majesty's person and Government, when service was over,
gave the alarm. Notice was immediately sent up to town, and by the zeal
of one man[161] of no large dimensions of body or mind, such a clamour
was raised, that we in Dublin could apprehend no less than an invasion
by the Pretender, who must be landed in the South. The result was, that
the Doctor must be struck out of the chaplains' list, and appear no more
at the Castle; yet, whether he were then, or be at this day, a Whig or a
Tory, I think is a secret; only it is manifest, that he is a zealous
Hanoverian, at least in poetry,[162] and a great adorer of the present
Royal Family through all its branches. His friends likewise assert, that
he had preached this same sermon often, under the same text; that not
having observed the words till he was in the pulpit, and had opened his
notes; as he is a person a little abstracted, he wanted presence of mind
to change them: And that in the whole sermon there was not a syllable
relating to Government or party, or to the subject of the day.
In this incident there seems to have been an union of events, that will
probably never happen again to the end of the world, or at least like
the grand conjunction in the heavens, which I think they say can arrive
but once in twenty thousand years.
The second gentleman (if I am right in my chronology) who under the
suspicion of a Tory, received some favour from his Excellency, is Mr.
James Stopford[163]; very strongly recommended by the most eminent Whig
in England, on the account of his learning, and virtue, and other
accomplishments. He had passed the greatest part of his youth in close
study, or in travelling; and was neither not at home, or not at leisure
to trouble his thoughts about party; which I allow to be a great
omission; though I cannot honestly place him in the list of Tories, and
therefore think his Excellency may be fairly acquitted for making him
Vicar of Finglass, worth about one hundred and fifty pounds a year.
The third is Doctor Patrick Delany.[164] This divine lies under some
disadvantage; having in his youth received many civilities from a
certain person then in a very high station here,[165] for which reason I
doubt the Doctor never drank his confusion since: And what makes the
matter desperate, it is now too late; unless our inquisitors will be
content with drinking confusion to his memory. The aforesaid eminent
person who was a judge of all merit but party, distinguished the Doctor
among other juniors in our University, for his learning, virtue,
discretion, and good sense. But the Doctor was then in too good a
situation at his college, to hope or endeavour at a better
establishment, from one who had no power to give it him.
Upon the present Lord-Lieutenant's coming over, the Doctor was named to
his Excellency by a friend,[166] among other clergy of distinction, as
persons whose characters it was proper his Excellency should know: And
by the truth of which the giver would be content to stand or fall in his
Excellency's opinion; since not one of those persons were in particular
friendship with the gentleman who gave in their names. By this and some
other incidents, particularly the recommendation of the late Archbishop
of Dublin,[167] the Doctor became known to his Excellency; whose fatal
turn of mind toward heathenish and outlandish books and languages,
finding, as I conceive a like disposition in the Doctor, was the cause
of his becoming so domestic, as we are told he is, at the Castle of
Dublin.
Three or four years ago, the Doctor grown weary of an academic life,
for some reasons best known to the managers of the discipline in that
learned society (which it may not be for their honour to mention[168])
resolved to leave it, although by the benefit of the pupils, and his
senior-fellowship with all its perquisites, he received every year
between nine hundred and a thousand pounds.
And a small northern living, in the University's donation, of somewhat
better than hundred pounds a year, falling at the same time with the
Chancellorship of Christ-Church, to about equal the value, in the gift
of his Excellency, the Doctor ventured into the world in a very scanty
condition, having squandered away all his annual income in a manner,
which although perhaps proper enough for a clergyman without a family,
will not be for the advantage of his character to discover either on the
exchange, or at a banker's shop.
About two months ago, his Excellency gave the Doctor a prebend in St.
Patrick's Cathedral; which being of near the same value with either of
the two former, will add a third part to his revenues, after he shall
have paid the great incumbrances upon it; so that he may now be said to
possess of Church preferments in scattered tithes, three hundred pounds
a year, instead of the like sum of infallible rents from a senior
fellowship with the offices annexed; beside the advantage of a free
lodging, and some other easements.
But since the Doctor hath not in any of his writings, his sermons, his
actions, his discourse, or his company, discovered one single principle
of either Whig or Tory; and that the Lord Lieutenant still continues to
admit him; I shall boldly pronounce him _ONE OF US_: but like a new
free-mason, who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the mystery.
Neither can he justly be accused of any Tory doctrines, except perhaps
some among those few, with which that wicked party was charged, during
the height of their power; but have been since transferred for the most
solid reasons, to the whole body of our firmest friends.
I have now done with the clergy; And upon the strictest examination have
not been able to find above one of that order, against whom any party
suspicion can lie, which is the unfortunate gentleman, Doctor Sheridan,
who by mere chance-medley shot his own fortune dead with a single text.
As to the laity I can hear of but one person of the Tory stamp, who
since the beginning of his Excellency's government, did ever receive any
solid mark of his favour; I mean Sir Arthur Acheson,[169] reported to be
an acknowledged Tory, and what is almost as bad, a scholar into the
bargain. It is whispered about as a certain truth, that this gentleman
is to have a grant of a certain barrack upon his estate, within two
miles of his own house; for which the Crown is to be his tenant, at the
rent of sixty pounds _per annum_; he being only at the expense of about
five hundred pounds, to put the house in repair, build stables, and
other necessaries. I will place this invidious mark of beneficence,
conferred on a Tory, in a fair light, by computing the costs and
necessary defalcations; after which it may be seen how much Sir Arthur
will be annually a clear gainer by the public, notwithstanding his
unfortunate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and Latin.
For repairs, &c. _500l._ the interest whereof _per ann._ 30 0 0
For all manner of poultry to furnish the troopers,
but which the said troopers must be at the
labour of catching, valued _per ann._ 5 0 0
For straggling sheep, 8 0 0
For game destroyed five miles round, 6 0 0
--------
49 0 0
Rent paid to Sir Arthur, 60 0 0
Deduct 49 0 0
------
Remains clear, 11 0 0
------
Thus, if Sir Arthur Acheson shall have the good fortune to obtain a
grant of this barrack, he will receive net profit annually from the
Crown ELEVEN pounds sterling to help him in entertaining the officers,
and making provisions for his younger children.
It is true, there is another advantage to be expected, which may fully
compensate the loss of cattle and poultry; by multiplying the breed of
mankind, and particularly of good Protestants, in a part of the Kingdom
half depopulated by the wild humour among the farmers there, of leaving
their country. But I am not so skilful in arithmetic, as to compute the
value.
I have reckoned one _per cent._ below the legal interest for the money
that Sir Arthur must expend, and valued the damage in the other articles
very moderately. However, I am confident he may with good management be
a saver at least; which is a prodigious instance of moderation in our
friends toward a professed Tory, whatever merit he may pretend by the
unwillingness he hath shewn to make his Excellency uneasy in his
administration.
Thus I have with the utmost impartiality collected every single favour,
(further than personal civilities) conferred by his Excellency on
Tories, and reputed Tories, since his first arrival hither to this
present 13th day of April, in the year of our Lord 1730, giving all
allowance possible to the arguments on the other side of the question.
* * * * *
And the account will stand thus.
Disposed of preferments and employments to Tories, or reputed Tories, by
his Excellency the Lord Lieutenant in about the space of six years.
To Doctor Thomas Sheridan in a rectory near
Kinsale, _per ann._ 100 0 0
To Sir Arthur Acheson, Baronet, a barrack,
_per ann._ 11 0 0
-----------
111 0 0
-----------
Give me leave now to compute in gross the value of the favours done by
his Excellency to the true friends of their King and Country, and of the
Protestant religion.
It is to be remembered, that although his Excellency cannot be properly
said to bestow bishoprics, commands in the army, the place of a judge,
or commissioner in the revenue, and some others; yet they are, for the
most part, disposed upon his recommendation, except where the persons
are immediately sent from England by their interest at Court, for which
I have allowed large defalcations in the following accounts. And it is
remarkable that the only considerable station conferred on a reputed
Tory since his present Excellency's government was of this latter kind.
And indeed it is but too remarkable, that in a neighbouring nation,
(where that dangerous denomination of men is incomparably more numerous,
more powerful, and of consequence more formidable) real Tories can often
with much less difficulty obtain very high favours from the Government,
than their reputed brethren can arrive to the lowest in ours. I observe
this with all possible submission to the wisdom of their policy, which,
however, will not I believe, dispute the praise of vigilance with ours.
WHIG Account.
To persons promoted to bishoprics, or removed
to more beneficial ones, computed
_per ann._ 10050 0 0
To civil employments, 9030 0 0
To military commands, 8436 0 0
-----------
27516 0 0
TORY Account.
To Tories 111 0 0
-----------
Balance 27405 0 0
-----------
I shall conclude with this observation. That, as I think, the Tories
have sufficient reason to be fully satisfied with the share of trust,
and power, and employments which they possess under the lenity of the
present Government; so, I do not find how his Excellency can be justly
censured for favouring none but High-Church, high-fliers, termagants,
Laudists, Sacheverellians, tip-top-gallant-men, Jacobites, tantivies,
anti-Hanoverians, friends to Popery and the Pretender, and to arbitrary
power, disobligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY, inflamers of
quarrels between the two nations, public incendiaries, enemies to the
King and Kingdoms, haters of TRUE Protestants, laurelmen, Annists,
complainers of the Nation's poverty, Ormondians, iconoclasts,
anti-Glorious-memorists, white-rosalists, tenth-a-Junians, and the like:
when by a fair state of the account, the balance, I conceive, plainly
lies on the other side.[170]
A PROPOSAL
FOR
AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,
WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.
BY WHICH THE NUMBER OF LANDED GENTRY AND SUBSTANTIAL FARMERS WILL BE
CONSIDERABLY INCREASED, AND NO ONE PERSON WILL BE THE POORER, OR
CONTRIBUTE ONE FARTHING TO THE CHARGE.
NOTE.
In volume three of the present edition two tracts are given
relating to attempts made by the bishops of Ireland for enlarging
their powers. These tracts are entitled: "On the Bill for the
Clergy's residing on their Livings," and "Considerations upon two
Bills, sent down from the House of Lords and the House of Commons
in Ireland relating to the Clergy of Ireland" (pp. 249-272). The
bills which Swift argued against were evidently intended to give
the bishops further powers and increased opportunities for making
money. (The matter is gone into at length in the notes prefixed to
the above reprints.) The bishops sought rights which would enable
them to obtain large powers in letting leases, and their eagerness
to get such powers, coupled with the efforts they expended, showed
that they had less regard for the Church's interest than for their
own.
In the present tract Swift, with his usual assumption of grave
consideration of an important question, but in reality with cutting
irony, proposes to dispose of all the Church lands for a lump sum,
give the bishops their full just share, including the amount of
fines for possible renewals of leases, and, at the same time, pay
off the national debt with the money that remains. With an air of
strict seriousness he solemnly computes the exact sums obtainable,
and impartially divides the amounts with accurate care. Then, with
a dig at the strangers England was continually sending to Irish
preferments, among whom he counts himself, he concludes by saying
that although the interests of such cannot be expected to be those
of the country to which they have been translated, yet he, as one
of them, is quite willing, and indeed feels himself in duty bound
"to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well
received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing
to reduce this excellent proposal into a law ... my sincere
endeavours to serve this Church and kingdom will be rewarded."
* * * * *
The text of this pamphlet is based on that given at the end of the
volume containing the first edition of "Considerations upon two
Bills," etc., published in 1732.
[T. S.]
A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,
WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.
The debts contracted some years past for the service and safety of the
nation, are grown so great, that under our present distressed condition
by the want of trade, the great remittances to pay absentees, regiments
serving abroad, and many other drains of money, well enough known and
felt; the kingdom seems altogether unable to discharge them by the
common methods of payment: And either a poll or land tax would be too
odious to think of, especially the latter, because the lands, which have
been let for these ten or dozen years past, were raised so high, that
the owners can, at present, hardly receive any rent at all. For, it is
the usual practice of an Irish tenant, rather than want land, to offer
more for a farm than he knows he can be ever able to pay, and in that
case he grows desperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-tax
upon a racked estate would be a burthen wholly insupportable.
The question will then be, how these national debts can be paid, and how
I can make good the several particulars of my proposal, which I shall
now lay open to the public.
The revenues of their Graces and Lordships the Archbishops and Bishops
of this kingdom (excluding the fines) do amount by a moderate
computation to _36,800l._ _per ann._ I mean the rents which the
bishops receive from their tenants. But the real value of those lands
at a full rent, taking the several sees one with another, is reckoned
to be at least three-fourths more, so that multiplying _36,800l._ by
four, the full rent of all the bishops' lands will amount to
_147,200l._ _per ann._ from which subtracting the present rent
received by their lordships, that is _36,800l._ the profits of the
lands received by the first and second tenants (who both have great
bargains) will rise to the sum of _110,400l._ _per ann._ which lands,
if they were to be sold at twenty-two years' purchase, would raise a
sum of _2,428,800l._ reserving to the Bishops their present rents,
only excluding fines.[171]
Of this sum I propose, that out of the one-half which amounts to
_1,214,400l._ so much be applied as will entirely discharge the debts of
the nation, and the remainder laid up in the treasury, to supply
contingencies, as well as to discharge some of our heavy taxes, until
the kingdom shall be in a better condition.
But whereas the present set of bishops would be great losers by this
scheme for want of their fines, which would be hard treatment to such
religious, loyal and deserving personages, I have therefore set apart
the other half to supply that defect, which it will more than
sufficiently do.
A bishop's lease for the full term, is reckoned to be worth eleven
years' purchase, but if we take the bishops round, I suppose, there may
be four years of each lease elapsed, and many of the bishops being well
stricken in years, I cannot think their lives round to be worth more
than seven years' purchase; so that the purchasers may very well afford
fifteen years' purchase for the reversion, especially by one great
additional advantage, which I shall soon mention.
This sum of _2,428,800l._ must likewise be sunk very considerably,
because the lands are to be sold only at fifteen years' purchase, and
this lessens the sum to about _1,656,000l._ of which I propose twelve
hundred thousand pounds to be applied partly for the payment of the
national debt, and partly as a fund for future exigencies, and the
remaining _456,000l._ I propose as a fund for paying the present set of
bishops their fines, which it will abundantly do, and a great part
remain as an addition to the public stock.
Although the bishops round do not in reality receive three fines
a-piece, which take up 21 years, yet I allow it to be so; but then I
will suppose them to take but one year's rent, in recompense of giving
them so large a term of life, and thus multiplying _36,800l._ by 3 the
product will be only _110,400l._ so that above three-fourths will remain
to be applied to public use.
If I have made wrong computations, I hope to be excused, as a stranger
to the kingdom, which I never saw till I was called to an employment,
and yet where I intend to pass the rest of my days; but I took care to
get the best information I could, and from the most proper persons;
however, the mistakes I may have been guilty of, will very little affect
the main of my proposal, although they should cause a difference of one
hundred thousand pounds more or less.
