Ford. O good Sir

   Fal. I say you shall

   Ford. Want no money (Sir Iohn) you shall want none

   Fal. Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall
want none: I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her
owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her assistant,
or goe-betweene, parted from me: I say I shall be
with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the
iealious-rascally-knaue her husband will be forth: come
you to me at night, you shall know how I speed

   Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know
Ford Sir?
  Fal. Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know
him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They say
the iealous wittolly-knaue hath masses of money, for
the which his wife seemes to me well-fauourd: I will vse
her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Coffer, & ther's
my haruest-home

   Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might auoid
him, if you saw him

   Fal. Hang him, mechanicall-salt-butter rogue; I wil
stare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudgell:
it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns:
Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate ouer
the pezant, and thou shalt lye with his wife. Come
to me soone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggrauate
his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for
knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me soone at night

   Ford. What a damn'd Epicurian-Rascall is this? my
heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this
is improuident iealousie? my wife hath sent to him, the
howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue
thought this? see the hell of hauing a false woman: my
bed shall be abus'd, my Coffers ransack'd, my reputation
gnawne at, and I shall not onely receiue this villanous
wrong, but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable
termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes,
names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason,
well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends:
But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himselfe
hath not such a name. Page is an Asse, a secure Asse; hee
will trust his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather
trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman
with my Cheese, an Irish-man with my Aqua-vitae-bottle,
or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then
my wife with her selfe. Then she plots, then shee ruminates,
then shee deuises: and what they thinke in their
hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but
they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie:
eleuen o' clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect
my wife, bee reueng'd on Falstaffe, and laugh at Page. I
will about it, better three houres too soone, then a mynute
too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.

Enter.


Scena Tertia.

Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.

  Caius. Iacke Rugby

   Rug. Sir

   Caius. Vat is the clocke, Iack

   Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd
to meet

   Cai. By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no-come:
hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar
(Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come

   Rug. Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would
kill him if he came

   Cai. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill
him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill
kill him

   Rug. Alas sir, I cannot fence

   Cai. Villaine, take your Rapier

   Rug. Forbeare: heer's company

   Host. 'Blesse thee, bully-Doctor

   Shal. 'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius

   Page. Now good Mr. Doctor

   Slen. 'Giue you good-morrow, sir

   Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?
  Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee
trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee
passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy
montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco?
ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my
heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead?
  Cai. By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Priest of de vorld:
he is not show his face

   Host. Thou art a Castalion-king-Vrinall: Hector of
Greece (my Boy)
  Cai. I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,
sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is nocome

   Shal. He is the wiser man (M[aster]. Doctor) he is a curer of
soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you
goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,
Master Page?
  Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a
great fighter, though now a man of peace

   Shal. Body-kins M[aster]. Page, though I now be old, and
of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and
Church-men (M[aster]. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth
in vs, we are the sons of women (M[aster]. Page.)
  Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shallow

   Shal. It wil be found so, (M[aster]. Page:) M[aster]. Doctor
Caius,
I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:
you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir
Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Churchman:
you must goe with me, M[aster]. Doctor

   Host. Pardon, Guest-Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke-water

   Cai. Mock-vater? vat is dat?
  Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is Valour
(Bully.)
  Cai. By gar, then I haue as much Mock-vater as de
Englishman: scuruy-Iack-dog-Priest: by gar, mee vill
cut his eares

   Host. He will Clapper-claw thee tightly (Bully.)
  Cai. Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?
  Host. That is, he will make thee amends

   Cai. By-gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper-de-claw
me, for by-gar, me vill haue it

   Host. And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag

   Cai. Me tanck you for dat

   Host. And moreouer, (Bully) but first, Mr. Ghuest,
and M[aster]. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through
the Towne to Frogmore

   Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
  Host. He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will
bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
  Shal. We will doe it

   All. Adieu, good M[aster]. Doctor

   Cai. By-gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a
Iack-an-Ape to Anne Page

   Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold
water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee
through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne
Page is, at a Farm-house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe
her: Cride-game, said I well?
  Cai. By-gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue
you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,
de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients

   Host. For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward
Anne Page: said I well?
  Cai. By-gar, 'tis good: vell said

   Host. Let vs wag then

   Cai. Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.

Exeunt.


Actus Tertius. Scoena Prima.

Enter Euans, Simple, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius, Rugby.

  Euans. I pray you now, good Master Slenders seruingman,
and friend Simple by your name; which way haue
you look'd for Master Caius, that calls himselfe Doctor
of Phisicke

   Sim. Marry Sir, the pittie-ward, the Parke-ward:
euery way: olde Windsor way, and euery way but the
Towne-way

   Euan. I most fehemently desire you, you will also
looke that way

   Sim. I will sir

   Euan. 'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and
trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued
me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls about
his knaues costard, when I haue good oportunities
for the orke: 'Plesse my soule: To shallow Riuers to whose
falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we make
our Peds of Roses: and a thousand fragrant posies. To shallow:
'Mercie on mee, I haue a great dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: - When as I sat in Pabilon:
and a thousand vagram Posies. To shallow, &c

   Sim. Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir Hugh

   Euan. Hee's welcome: To shallow Riuers, to whose fals:
Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?
  Sim. No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, Mr.
Shallow, and another Gentleman; from Frogmore, ouer
the stile, this way

   Euan. Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe it
in your armes

   Shal. How now Master Parson? good morrow good
Sir Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the dice, and a good
Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull

   Slen. Ah sweet Anne Page

   Page. 'Saue you, good Sir Hugh

   Euan. 'Plesse you from his mercy-sake, all of you

   Shal. What? the Sword, and the Word?
Doe you study them both, Mr. Parson?
  Page. And youthfull still, in your doublet and hose,
this raw-rumaticke day?
  Euan. There is reasons, and causes for it

   Page. We are come to you, to doe a good office, Mr.
Parson

   Euan. Fery-well: what is it?
  Page. Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who
(be-like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is at
most odds with his owne grauity and patience, that euer
you saw

   Shal. I haue liued foure-score yeeres, and vpward: I
neuer heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, so
wide of his owne respect

   Euan. What is he?
  Page. I thinke you know him: Mr. Doctor Caius the
renowned French Physician

   Euan. Got's-will, and his passion of my heart: I had
as lief you would tell me of a messe of porredge

   Page. Why?
  Euan. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and
  Galen , and hee is a knaue besides: a cowardly knaue, as
you would desires to be acquainted withall

   Page. I warrant you, hee's the man should fight with
him

   Slen. O sweet Anne Page

   Shal. It appeares so by his weapons: keepe them asunder:
here comes Doctor Caius

   Page. Nay good Mr. Parson, keepe in your weapon

   Shal. So doe you, good Mr. Doctor

   Host. Disarme them, and let them question: let them
keepe their limbs whole, and hack our English

   Cai. I pray you let-a-mee speake a word with your
eare; vherefore vill you not meet-a me?
  Euan. Pray you vse your patience in good time

   Cai. By-gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn
Ape

   Euan. Pray you let vs not be laughing-stocks to other
mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and I will one
way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal
about your knaues Cogs-combe

   Cai. Diable: Iack Rugby: mine Host de Iarteer: haue I
not stay for him, to kill him? haue I not at de place I did
appoint?
  Euan. As I am a Christians-soule, now looke you:
this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine
Host of the Garter

   Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaule, French & Welch,
Soule-Curer, and Body-Curer

   Cai. I, dat is very good, excellant

   Host. Peace, I say: heare mine Host of the Garter,
Am I politicke? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiuell?
Shall I loose my Doctor? No, hee giues me the Potions
and the Motions. Shall I loose my Parson? my Priest?
my Sir Hugh? No, he giues me the Prouerbes, and the
No-verbes. Giue me thy hand (Celestiall) so: Boyes of
Art, I haue deceiu'd you both: I haue directed you to
wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skinnes are
whole, and let burn'd Sacke be the issue: Come, lay their
swords to pawne: Follow me, Lad of peace, follow, follow,
follow

   Shal. Trust me, a mad Host: follow Gentlemen, follow

   Slen. O sweet Anne Page

   Cai. Ha' do I perceiue dat? Haue you make-a-de-sot
of vs, ha, ha?
  Eua. This is well, he has made vs his vlowting-stog:
I desire you that we may be friends: and let vs knog our
praines together to be reuenge on this same scall
scuruy-cogging-companion
the Host of the Garter

   Cai. By gar, with all my heart: he promise to bring
me where is Anne Page: by gar he deceiue me too

   Euan. Well, I will smite his noddles: pray you follow.

Scena Secunda.

Mist.Page, Robin, Ford, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Euans,
Caius.

  Mist.Page. Nay keepe your way (little Gallant) you
were wont to be a follower, but now you are a Leader:
whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your masters
heeles?
  Rob. I had rather (forsooth) go before you like a man,
then follow him like a dwarfe

   M.Pa. O you are a flattering boy, now I see you'l be a
(Courtier

   Ford. Well met mistris Page, whether go you

   M.Pa. Truly Sir, to see your wife, is she at home?
  Ford. I, and as idle as she may hang together for want
of company: I thinke if your husbands were dead, you
two would marry

   M.Pa. Be sure of that, two other husbands

   Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cocke?
  M.Pa. I cannot tell what (the dickens) his name is my
husband had him of, what do you cal your Knights name sirrah?
  Rob. Sir Iohn Falstaffe

   Ford. Sir Iohn Falstaffe

   M.Pa. He, he, I can neuer hit on's name; there is such a
league betweene my goodman, and he: is your Wife at home
indeed?
  Ford. Indeed she is

   M.Pa. By your leaue sir, I am sicke till I see her

   Ford. Has Page any braines? Hath he any eies? Hath he
any thinking? Sure they sleepe, he hath no vse of them:
why this boy will carrie a letter twentie mile as easie, as
a Canon will shoot point-blanke twelue score: hee peeces
out his wiues inclination: he giues her folly motion
and aduantage: and now she's going to my wife, & Falstaffes
boy with her: A man may heare this showre sing
in the winde; and Falstaffes boy with her: good plots,
they are laide, and our reuolted wiues share damnation
together. Well, I will take him, then torture my wife,
plucke the borrowed vaile of modestie from the so-seeming
Mist[ris]. Page, divulge Page himselfe for a secure and
wilfull Acteon, and to these violent proceedings all my
neighbors shall cry aime. The clocke giues me my Qu,
and my assurance bids me search, there I shall finde Falstaffe:
I shall be rather praisd for this, then mock'd, for
it is as possitiue, as the earth is firme, that Falstaffe is
there: I will go

   Shal. Page, &c. Well met Mr Ford

   Ford. Trust me, a good knotte; I haue good cheere at
home, and I pray you all go with me

   Shal. I must excuse my selfe Mr Ford

   Slen. And so must I Sir,
We haue appointed to dine with Mistris Anne,
And I would not breake with her for more mony
Then Ile speake of

   Shal. We haue linger'd about a match betweene An
Page, and my cozen Slender, and this day wee shall haue
our answer

   Slen. I hope I haue your good will Father Page

   Pag. You haue Mr Slender, I stand wholly for you,
But my wife (Mr Doctor) is for you altogether

   Cai. I be-gar, and de Maid is loue-a-me: my nursh-a-Quickly
tell me so mush

   Host. What say you to yong Mr Fenton? He capers,
he dances, he has eies of youth: he writes verses, hee
speakes holliday, he smels April and May, he wil carry't,
he will carry't, 'tis in his buttons, he will carry't

   Page. Not by my consent I promise you. The Gentleman
is of no hauing, hee kept companie with the wilde
Prince, and Pointz: he is of too high a Region, he knows
too much: no, hee shall not knit a knot in his fortunes,
with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him
take her simply: the wealth I haue waits on my consent,
and my consent goes not that way

   Ford. I beseech you heartily, some of you goe home
with me to dinner: besides your cheere you shall haue
sport, I will shew you a monster: Mr Doctor, you shal
go, so shall you Mr Page, and you Sir Hugh

   Shal. Well, fare you well:
We shall haue the freer woing at Mr Pages

   Cai. Go home Iohn Rugby, I come anon

   Host. Farewell my hearts, I will to my honest Knight
Falstaffe, and drinke Canarie with him

   Ford. I thinke I shall drinke in Pipe-wine first with
him, Ile make him dance. Will you go Gentles?
  All. Haue with you, to see this Monster.



Scena Tertia.

Enter M.Ford, M.Page, Seruants, Robin, Falstaffe, Ford, Page,
Caius,
Euans.

  Mist.Ford. What Iohn, what Robert

   M.Page. Quickly, quickly: Is the Buck-basket -
  Mis.Ford. I warrant. What Robin I say

   Mis.Page. Come, come, come

   Mist.Ford. Heere, set it downe

   M.Pag. Giue your men the charge, we must be briefe

   M.Ford. Marrie, as I told you before (Iohn & Robert)
be ready here hard-by in the Brew-house, & when I sodainly
call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or
staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: y done,
trudge with it in all hast, and carry it among the Whitsters
in Dotchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddie
ditch, close by the Thames side

   M.Page. You will do it?
  M.Ford. I ha told them ouer and ouer, they lacke no direction.
Be gone, and come when you are call'd

   M.Page. Here comes little Robin

   Mist.Ford. How now my Eyas-Musket, what newes with you?
  Rob. My M[aster]. Sir Iohn is come in at your backe doore
(Mist[ris]. Ford, and requests your company

   M.Page. You litle Iack-a-lent, haue you bin true to vs
  Rob. I, Ile be sworne: my Master knowes not of your
being heere: and hath threatned to put me into euerlasting
liberty, if I tell you of it: for he sweares he'll turne
me away

   Mist.Pag. Thou'rt a good boy: this secrecy of thine
shall be a Tailor to thee, and shal make thee a new doublet
and hose. Ile go hide me

   Mi.Ford. Do so: go tell thy Master, I am alone: Mistris
Page, remember you your Qu

   Mist.Pag. I warrant thee, if I do not act it, hisse me

   Mist.Ford. Go-too then: we'l vse this vnwholsome
humidity, this grosse-watry Pumpion; we'll teach him
to know Turtles from Iayes

   Fal. Haue I caught thee, my heauenly Iewell? Why
now let me die, for I haue liu'd long enough: This is the
period of my ambition: O this blessed houre

   Mist.Ford. O sweet Sir Iohn

   Fal. Mistris Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate (Mist[ris].
Ford) now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy Husband
were dead, Ile speake it before the best Lord, I would
make thee my Lady

   Mist.Ford. I your Lady Sir Iohn? Alas, I should bee a
pittifull Lady

   Fal. Let the Court of France shew me such another:
I see how thine eye would emulate the Diamond: Thou
hast the right arched-beauty of the brow, that becomes
the Ship-tyre, the Tyre-valiant, or any Tire of Venetian
admittance

   Mist.Ford. A plaine Kerchiefe, Sir Iohn:
My browes become nothing else, nor that well neither

   Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou wouldst make
an absolute Courtier, and the firme fixture of thy foote,
would giue an excellent motion to thy gate, in a semicircled
Farthingale. I see what thou wert if Fortune thy
foe, were not Nature thy friend: Come, thou canst not
hide it

   Mist.Ford. Beleeue me, ther's no such thing in me

   Fal. What made me loue thee? Let that perswade
thee. Ther's something extraordinary in thee: Come, I
cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a-manie
of these lisping-hauthorne buds, that come like women
in mens apparrell, and smell like Bucklers-berry in simple
time: I cannot, but I loue thee, none but thee; and
thou deseru'st it

   M.Ford. Do not betray me sir, I fear you loue M[istris]. Page

   Fal. Thou mightst as well say, I loue to walke by the
Counter-gate, which is as hatefull to me, as the reeke of
a Lime-kill

   Mis.Ford. Well, heauen knowes how I loue you,
And you shall one day finde it

   Fal. Keepe in that minde, Ile deserue it

   Mist.Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you doe;
Or else I could not be in that minde

   Rob. Mistris Ford, Mistris Ford: heere's Mistris Page at
the doore, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildely,
and would needs speake with you presently

   Fal. She shall not see me, I will ensconce mee behinde
the Arras

   M.Ford. Pray you do so, she's a very tatling woman.
Whats the matter? How now?
  Mist.Page. O mistris Ford what haue you done?
You'r sham'd, y'are ouerthrowne, y'are vndone for euer

   M.Ford. What's the matter, good mistris Page?
  M.Page. O weladay, mist[ris]. Ford, hauing an honest man
to your husband, to giue him such cause of suspition

   M.Ford. What cause of suspition?
  M.Page. What cause of suspition? Out vpon you:
How am I mistooke in you?
  M.Ford. Why (alas) what's the matter?
  M.Page. Your husband's comming hether (Woman)
with all the Officers in Windsor, to search for a Gentleman,
that he sayes is heere now in the house; by your
consent to take an ill aduantage of his absence: you are
vndone

   M.Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope

   M.Page. Pray heauen it be not so, that you haue such
a man heere: but 'tis most certaine your husband's comming,
with halfe Windsor at his heeles, to serch for such
a one, I come before to tell you: If you know your selfe
cleere, why I am glad of it: but if you haue a friend here,
conuey, conuey him out. Be not amaz'd, call all your
senses to you, defend your reputation, or bid farwell to
your good life for euer

   M.Ford. What shall I do? There is a Gentleman my
deere friend: and I feare not mine owne shame so much,
as his perill. I had rather then a thousand pound he were
out of the house

   M.Page. For shame, neuer stand (you had rather, and
you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke
you of some conueyance: in the house you cannot hide
him. Oh, how haue you deceiu'd me? Looke, heere is a
basket, if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creepe
in heere, and throw fowle linnen vpon him, as if it were
going to bucking: Or it is whiting time, send him by
your two men to Datchet-Meade

   M.Ford. He's too big to go in there: what shall I do?
  Fal. Let me see't, let me see't, O let me see't:
Ile in, Ile in: Follow your friends counsell, Ile in

   M.Page. What Sir Iohn Falstaffe? Are these your Letters,
Knight?
  Fal. I loue thee, helpe mee away: let me creepe in
heere: ile neuer -
  M.Page. Helpe to couer your master (Boy:) Call
your men (Mist[ris]. Ford.) You dissembling Knight

   M.Ford. What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp these
cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle-staffe? Look
how you drumble? Carry them to the Landresse in Datchet
mead: quickly, come

   Ford. 'Pray you come nere: if I suspect without cause,
Why then make sport at me, then let me be your iest,
I deserue it: How now? Whether beare you this?
  Ser. To the Landresse forsooth?
  M.Ford. Why, what haue you to doe whether they
beare it? You were best meddle with buck-washing

   Ford. Buck? I would I could wash my selfe of y Buck:
Bucke, bucke, bucke, I bucke: I warrant you Bucke,
And of the season too; it shall appeare.
Gentlemen, I haue dream'd to night, Ile tell you my
dreame: heere, heere, heere bee my keyes, ascend my
Chambers, search, seeke, finde out: Ile warrant wee'le
vnkennell the Fox. Let me stop this way first: so, now
vncape

   Page. Good master Ford, be contented:
You wrong your selfe too much

   Ford. True (master Page) vp Gentlemen,
You shall see sport anon:
Follow me Gentlemen

   Euans. This is fery fantasticall humors and iealousies

   Caius. By gar, 'tis no-the fashion of France:
It is not iealous in France

   Page. Nay follow him (Gentlemen) see the yssue of
his search

   Mist.Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?
  Mist.Ford. I know not which pleases me better,
That my husband is deceiued, or Sir Iohn

   Mist.Page. What a taking was hee in, when your
husband askt who was in the basket?
  Mist.Ford. I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of
washing: so throwing him into the water, will doe him
a benefit

   Mist.Page. Hang him dishonest rascall: I would all
of the same straine, were in the same distresse

   Mist.Ford. I thinke my husband hath some speciall
suspition of Falstaffs being heere: for I neuer saw him so
grosse in his iealousie till now

   Mist.Page. I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will
yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe: his dissolute disease
will scarse obey this medicine

   Mis.Ford. Shall we send that foolishion Carion, Mist[ris].
Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into the water,
and giue him another hope, to betray him to another
punishment?
  Mist.Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to morrow
eight a clocke to haue amends

   Ford. I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd
of that he could not compasse

   Mis.Page. Heard you that?
  Mis.Ford. You vse me well, M[aster]. Ford? Do you?
  Ford. I, I do so

   M.Ford. Heauen make you better then your thoghts
  Ford. Amen

   Mi.Page. You do your selfe mighty wrong (M[aster]. Ford)
  Ford. I, I: I must beare it

   Eu. If there be any pody in the house, & in the chambers,
and in the coffers, and in the presses: heauen forgiue
my sins at the day of iudgement

   Caius. Be gar, nor I too: there is no-bodies

   Page. Fy, fy, M[aster]. Ford, are you not asham'd? What spirit,
what diuell suggests this imagination? I wold not ha
your distemper in this kind, for y welth of Windsor castle

   Ford. 'Tis my fault (M[aster]. Page) I suffer for it

   Euans. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is
as honest a o'mans, as I will desires among fiue thousand,
and fiue hundred too

   Cai. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman

   Ford. Well, I promisd you a dinner: come, come, walk
in the Parke, I pray you pardon me: I wil hereafter make
knowne to you why I haue done this. Come wife, come
Mi[stris]. Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray hartly pardon me

   Page. Let's go in Gentlemen, but (trust me) we'l mock
him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning to my house
to breakfast: after we'll a Birding together, I haue a fine
Hawke for the bush. Shall it be so:
  Ford. Any thing

   Eu. If there is one, I shall make two in the Companie
  Ca. If there be one, or two, I shall make-a-theturd

   Ford. Pray you go, M[aster]. Page

   Eua. I pray you now remembrance to morrow on the
lowsie knaue, mine Host

   Cai. Dat is good by gar, withall my heart

   Eua. A lowsie knaue, to haue his gibes, and his mockeries.

Exeunt.


Scoena Quarta.

Enter Fenton, Anne, Page, Shallow, Slender, Quickly, Page,
Mist.Page.

  Fen. I see I cannot get thy Fathers loue,
Therefore no more turne me to him (sweet Nan.)
  Anne. Alas, how then?
  Fen. Why thou must be thy selfe.
He doth obiect, I am too great of birth,
And that my state being gall'd with my expence,
I seeke to heale it onely by his wealth.
Besides these, other barres he layes before me,
My Riots past, my wilde Societies,
And tels me 'tis a thing impossible
I should loue thee, but as a property

   An. May be he tels you true.
No, heauen so speed me in my time to come,
Albeit I will confesse, thy Fathers wealth
Was the first motiue that I woo'd thee (Anne:)
Yet wooing thee, I found thee of more valew
Then stampes in Gold, or summes in sealed bagges:
And 'tis the very riches of thy selfe,
That now I ayme at

   An. Gentle M[aster]. Fenton,
Yet seeke my Fathers loue, still seeke it sir,
If opportunity and humblest suite
Cannot attaine it, why then harke you hither

   Shal. Breake their talke Mistris Quickly.
My Kinsman shall speake for himselfe

   Slen. Ile make a shaft or a bolt on't, slid, tis but venturing

   Shal. Be not dismaid

   Slen. No, she shall not dismay me:
I care not for that, but that I am affeard

   Qui. Hark ye, M[aster]. Slender would speak a word with you
  An. I come to him. This is my Fathers choice:
O what a world of vilde ill-fauour'd faults
Lookes handsome in three hundred pounds a yeere?
  Qui. And how do's good Master Fenton?
Pray you a word with you

   Shal. Shee's comming; to her Coz:
O boy, thou hadst a father

   Slen. I had a father (M[istris]. An) my vncle can tel you good
iests of him: pray you Vncle, tel Mist[ris]. Anne the iest how
my Father stole two Geese out of a Pen, good Vnckle

   Shal. Mistris Anne, my Cozen loues you

   Slen. I that I do, as well as I loue any woman in Glocestershire

   Shal. He will maintaine you like a Gentlewoman

   Slen. I that I will, come cut and long-taile, vnder the
degree of a Squire

   Shal. He will make you a hundred and fiftie pounds
ioynture

   Anne. Good Maister Shallow let him woo for himselfe

   Shal. Marrie I thanke you for it: I thanke you for
that good comfort: she cals you (Coz) Ile leaue you

   Anne. Now Master Slender

   Slen. Now good Mistris Anne

   Anne. What is your will?
  Slen. My will? Odd's-hartlings, that's a prettie
iest indeede: I ne're made my Will yet (I thanke Heauen:)
I am not such a sickely creature, I giue Heauen
praise

   Anne. I meane (M[aster]. Slender) what wold you with me?
  Slen. Truely, for mine owne part, I would little or
nothing with you: your father and my vncle hath made
motions: if it be my lucke, so; if not, happy man bee his
dole, they can tell you how things go, better then I can:
you may aske your father, heere he comes

   Page. Now Mr Slender; Loue him daughter Anne.
Why how now? What does Mr Fenten here?
You wrong me Sir, thus still to haunt my house.
I told you Sir, my daughter is disposd of

   Fen. Nay Mr Page, be not impatient

   Mist.Page. Good M[aster]. Fenton, come not to my child

   Page. She is no match for you

   Fen. Sir, will you heare me?
  Page. No, good M[aster]. Fenton.
Come M[aster]. Shallow: Come sonne Slender, in;
Knowing my minde, you wrong me (M[aster]. Fenton.)
  Qui. Speake to Mistris Page

   Fen. Good Mist[ris]. Page, for that I loue your daughter
In such a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checkes, rebukes, and manners,
I must aduance the colours of my loue,
And not retire. Let me haue your good will

   An. Good mother, do not marry me to yond foole

   Mist.Page. I meane it not, I seeke you a better husband

   Qui. That's my master, M[aster]. Doctor

   An. Alas I had rather be set quick i'th earth,
And bowl'd to death with Turnips

   Mist.Page. Come, trouble not your selfe good M[aster].
Fenton, I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loues you,
And as I finde her, so am I affected:
Till then, farewell Sir, she must needs go in,
Her father will be angry

   Fen. Farewell gentle Mistris: farewell Nan

   Qui. This is my doing now: Nay, saide I, will you
cast away your childe on a Foole, and a Physitian:
Looke on M[aster]. Fenton, this is my doing

   Fen. I thanke thee: and I pray thee once to night,
Giue my sweet Nan this Ring: there's for thy paines

   Qui. Now heauen send thee good fortune, a kinde
heart he hath: a woman would run through fire & water
for such a kinde heart. But yet, I would my Maister
had Mistris Anne, or I would M[aster]. Slender had her: or (in
sooth) I would M[aster]. Fenton had her; I will do what I can
for them all three, for so I haue promisd, and Ile bee as
good as my word, but speciously for M[aster]. Fenton. Well, I
must of another errand to Sir Iohn Falstaffe from my two
Mistresses: what a beast am I to slacke it.

Exeunt.

Scena Quinta.

Enter Falstaffe, Bardolfe, Quickly, Ford.

  Fal. Bardolfe I say

   Bar. Heere Sir

   Fal. Go, fetch me a quart of Sacke, put a tost in't.
Haue I liu'd to be carried in a Basket like a barrow of
butchers Offall? and to be throwne in the Thames? Wel,
if I be seru'd such another tricke, Ile haue my braines
'tane out and butter'd, and giue them to a dogge for a
New-yeares gift. The rogues slighted me into the riuer
with as little remorse, as they would haue drown'de a
blinde bitches Puppies, fifteene i'th litter: and you may
know by my size, that I haue a kinde of alacrity in sinking:
if the bottome were as deepe as hell, I shold down.
I had beene drown'd, but that the shore was sheluy and
shallow: a death that I abhorre: for the water swelles a
man; and what a thing should I haue beene, when I
had beene swel'd? I should haue beene a Mountaine of
Mummie

   Bar. Here's M[istris]. Quickly Sir to speake with you

   Fal. Come, let me poure in some Sack to the Thames
water: for my bellies as cold as if I had swallow'd snowbals,
for pilles to coole the reines. Call her in

   Bar. Come in woman

   Qui. By your leaue: I cry you mercy?
Giue your worship good morrow

   Fal. Take away these Challices:
Go, brew me a pottle of Sacke finely

   Bard. With Egges, Sir?
  Fal. Simple of it selfe: Ile no Pullet-Spersme in my
brewage. How now?
  Qui. Marry Sir, I come to your worship from M[istris]. Ford

   Fal. Mist[ris]. Ford? I haue had Ford enough: I was thrown
into the Ford; I haue my belly full of Ford

   Qui. Alas the day, (good-heart) that was not her
fault: she do's so take on with her men; they mistooke
their erection

   Fal. So did I mine, to build vpon a foolish Womans promise

   Qui. Well, she laments Sir for it, that it would yern
your heart to see it: her husband goes this morning a
birding; she desires you once more to come to her, betweene
eight and nine: I must carry her word quickely,
she'll make you amends I warrant you

   Fal. Well, I will visit her, tell her so: and bidde her
thinke what a man is: Let her consider his frailety, and
then iudge of my merit

   Qui. I will tell her

   Fal. Do so. Betweene nine and ten saist thou?
  Qui. Eight and nine Sir

   Fal. Well, be gone: I will not misse her

   Qui. Peace be with you Sir

   Fal. I meruaile I heare not of Mr Broome: he sent me
word to stay within: I like his money well.
Oh, heere he comes

   Ford. Blesse you Sir

   Fal. Now M[aster]. Broome, you come to know
What hath past betweene me, and Fords wife

   Ford. That indeed (Sir Iohn) is my businesse

   Fal. M[aster]. Broome I will not lye to you,
I was at her house the houre she appointed me

   Ford. And sped you Sir?
  Fal. Very ill-fauouredly M[aster]. Broome

   Ford. How so sir, did she change her determination?
  Fal. No (M[aster]. Broome) but the peaking Curnuto her husband
(M[aster]. Broome) dwelling in a continual larum of ielousie,
coms me in the instant of our encounter, after we had
embrast, kist, protested, & (as it were) spoke the prologue
of our Comedy: and at his heeles, a rabble of his companions,
thither prouoked and instigated by his distemper,
and (forsooth) to serch his house for his wiues Loue

   Ford. What? While you were there?
  Fal. While I was there

   For. And did he search for you, & could not find you?
  Fal. You shall heare. As good lucke would haue it,
comes in one Mist[ris]. Page, giues intelligence of Fords approch:
and in her inuention, and Fords wiues distraction,
they conuey'd me into a bucke-basket

   Ford. A Buck-basket?
  Fal. Yes: a Buck-basket: ram'd mee in with foule
Shirts and Smockes, Socks, foule Stockings, greasie
Napkins, that (Master Broome) there was the rankest
compound of villanous smell, that euer offended nostrill

   Ford. And how long lay you there?
  Fal. Nay, you shall heare (Master Broome) what I
haue sufferd, to bring this woman to euill, for your
good: Being thus cram'd in the Basket, a couple of
Fords knaues, his Hindes, were cald forth by their Mistris,
to carry mee in the name of foule Cloathes to
Datchet-lane: they tooke me on their shoulders: met
the iealous knaue their Master in the doore; who
ask'd them once or twice what they had in their Basket?
I quak'd for feare least the Lunatique Knaue
would haue search'd it: but Fate (ordaining he should
be a Cuckold) held his hand: well, on went hee, for
a search, and away went I for foule Cloathes: But
marke the sequell (Master Broome) I suffered the pangs
of three seuerall deaths: First, an intollerable fright,
to be detected with a iealious rotten Bell-weather:
Next to be compass'd like a good Bilbo in the circumference
of a Pecke, hilt to point, heele to head. And
then to be stopt in like a strong distillation with stinking
Cloathes, that fretted in their owne grease:
thinke of that, a man of my Kidney; thinke of that,
that am as subiect to heate as butter; a man of continuall
dissolution, and thaw: it was a miracle to scape
suffocation. And in the height of this Bath (when I
was more then halfe stew'd in grease (like a Dutch-dish)
to be throwne into the Thames, and
coold, glowing-hot, in that serge like a Horse-shoo;
thinke of that; hissing hot: thinke of that (Master
Broome.)
  Ford. In good sadnesse Sir, I am sorry, that for my sake
you haue sufferd all this.
My suite then is desperate: You'll vndertake her no
more?
  Fal. Master Broome: I will be throwne into Etna,
as I haue beene into Thames, ere I will leaue her thus;
her Husband is this morning gone a Birding: I
haue receiued from her another ambassie of meeting:
'twixt eight and nine is the houre (Master
Broome.)
  Ford. 'Tis past eight already Sir

   Fal. Is it? I will then addresse mee to my appointment:
Come to mee at your conuenient leisure, and
you shall know how I speede: and the conclusion
shall be crowned with your enioying her: adiew: you
shall haue her (Master Broome) Master Broome, you shall
cuckold Ford

   Ford. Hum: ha? Is this a vision? Is this a dreame?
doe I sleepe? Master Ford awake, awake Master Ford:
ther's a hole made in your best coate (Master Ford:) this
'tis to be married; this 'tis to haue Lynnen, and Buckbaskets:
Well, I will proclaime my selfe what I am:
I will now take the Leacher: hee is at my house: hee
cannot scape me: 'tis impossible hee should: hee cannot
creepe into a halfe-penny purse, nor into a PepperBoxe:
But least the Diuell that guides him, should
aide him, I will search impossible places: though
what I am, I cannot auoide; yet to be what I would
not, shall not make me tame: If I haue hornes, to make
one mad, let the prouerbe goe with me, Ile be hornemad.

Exeunt.


Actus Quartus. Scoena Prima.

Enter Mistris Page, Quickly, William, Euans.

  Mist.Pag. Is he at M[aster]. Fords already think'st thou?
  Qui. Sure he is by this; or will be presently; but
truely he is very couragious mad, about his throwing
into the water. Mistris Ford desires you to come sodainely

   Mist.Pag. Ile be with her by and by: Ile but bring
my yong-man here to Schoole: looke where his Master
comes; 'tis a playing day I see: how now Sir Hugh, no
Schoole to day?
  Eua. No: Master Slender is let the Boyes leaue to play

   Qui 'Blessing of his heart

   Mist.Pag. Sir Hugh, my husband saies my sonne profits
nothing in the world at his Booke: I pray you aske
him some questions in his Accidence

   Eu. Come hither William; hold vp your head; come

   Mist.Pag. Come-on Sirha; hold vp your head; answere
your Master, be not afraid

   Eua. William, how many Numbers is in Nownes?
  Will. Two

   Qui. Truely, I thought there had bin one Number
more, because they say od's-Nownes

   Eua. Peace, your tatlings. What is (Faire) William?
  Will. Pulcher

   Qu. Powlcats? there are fairer things then Powlcats,
sure

   Eua. You are a very simplicity o'man: I pray you
peace. What is (Lapis) William?
  Will. A Stone

   Eua. And what is a Stone (William?)
  Will. A Peeble

   Eua. No; it is Lapis: I pray you remember in your
praine

   Will. Lapis

   Eua. That is a good William: what is he (William) that
do's lend Articles

   Will. Articles are borrowed of the Pronoune; and be
thus declined. Singulariter nominatiuo hic, haec, hoc

   Eua. Nominatiuo hig, hag, hog: pray you marke: genitiuo
huius: Well: what is your Accusatiue-case?
  Will. Accusatiuo hinc

   Eua. I pray you haue your remembrance (childe) Accusatiuo
hing, hang, hog

   Qu. Hang-hog, is latten for Bacon, I warrant you

   Eua. Leaue your prables (o'man) What is the Focatiue
case (William?)
  Will. O, Vocatiuo, O

   Eua. Remember William, Focatiue, is caret

   Qu. And that's a good roote

   Eua. O'man, forbeare

   Mist.Pag. Peace

   Eua. What is your Genitiue case plurall (William?)
  Will. Genitiue case?
  Eua. I

   Will. Genitiue horum, harum, horum

   Qu. 'Vengeance of Ginyes case; fie on her; neuer
name her (childe) if she be a whore

   Eua. For shame o'man

   Qu. You doe ill to teach the childe such words: hee
teaches him to hic, and to hac; which they'll doe fast
enough of themselues, and to call horum; fie vpon you

   Euans. O'man, art thou Lunatics? Hast thou no vnderstandings
for thy Cases, & the numbers of the Genders?
Thou art as foolish Christian creatures, as I would
desires

   Mi.Page. Pre'thee hold thy peace

   Eu. Shew me now (William) some declensions of your
Pronounes

   Will. Forsooth, I haue forgot

   Eu. It is Qui, que, quod; if you forget your Quies,
your Ques, and your Quods, you must be preeches: Goe
your waies and play, go

   M.Pag. He is a better scholler then I thought he was

   Eu. He is a good sprag-memory: Farewel Mis[tris]. Page

   Mis.Page. Adieu good Sir Hugh:
Get you home boy, Come we stay too long.

Exeunt.


Scena Secunda.

Enter Falstoffe, Mist.Ford, Mist.Page, Seruants, Ford, Page, Caius,
Euans,
Shallow.

  Fal. Mi[stris]. Ford, Your sorrow hath eaten vp my sufferance;
I see you are obsequious in your loue, and I professe
requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist[ris]. Ford,
in the simple office of loue, but in all the accustrement,
complement, and ceremony of it: But are you sure of
your husband now?
  Mis.Ford. Hee's a birding (sweet Sir Iohn.)
  Mis.Page. What hoa, gossip Ford: what hoa

   Mis.Ford. Step into th' chamber, Sir Iohn

   Mis.Page. How now (sweete heart) whose at home
besides your selfe?
  Mis.Ford. Why none but mine owne people

   Mis.Page. Indeed?
  Mis.Ford. No certainly: Speake louder

   Mist.Pag. Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here

   Mist.Ford. Why?
  Mis.Page. Why woman, your husband is in his olde
lines againe: he so takes on yonder with my husband, so
railes against all married mankinde; so curses all Eues
daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so buffettes
himselfe on the for-head: crying peere-out, peere-out,
that any madnesse I euer yet beheld, seem'd but tamenesse,
ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is in
now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere

   Mist.Ford. Why, do's he talke of him?
  Mist.Page. Of none but him, and sweares he was caried
out the last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket:
Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath drawne
him and the rest of their company from their sport, to
make another experiment of his suspition: But I am glad
the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne foolerie

   Mist.Ford. How neere is he Mistris Page?
  Mist.Pag. Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon

   Mist.Ford. I am vndone, the Knight is heere

   Mist.Page. Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's
but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with
him, away with him: Better shame, then murther

   Mist.Ford. Which way should he go? How should I
bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket againe?
  Fal. No, Ile come no more i'th Basket:
May I not go out ere he come?
  Mist.Page. Alas: three of Mr. Fords brothers watch
the doore with Pistols, that none shall issue out: otherwise
you might slip away ere hee came: But what make
you heere?
  Fal. What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney

   Mist.Ford. There they alwaies vse to discharge their
Birding-peeces: creepe into the Kill-hole

   Fal. Where is it?
  Mist.Ford. He will seeke there on my word: Neyther
Presse, Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath
an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes
to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the
house

   Fal. Ile go out then

   Mist.Ford. If you goe out in your owne semblance,
you die Sir Iohn, vnlesse you go out disguis'd

   Mist.Ford. How might we disguise him?
  Mist.Page. Alas the day I know not, there is no womans
gowne bigge enough for him: otherwise he might
put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape

   Fal. Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie,
rather then a mischiefe

   Mist.Ford. My Maids Aunt the fat woman of Brainford,
has a gowne aboue

   Mist.Page. On my word it will serue him: shee's as
big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler
too: run vp Sir Iohn

   Mist.Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir Iohn: Mistris Page and
I will looke some linnen for your head

   Mist.Page. Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you
straight: put on the gowne the while

   Mist.Ford. I would my husband would meete him
in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford;
he sweares she's a witch, forbad her my house, and
hath threatned to beate her

   Mist.Page. Heauen guide him to thy husbands cudgell:
and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards

   Mist.Ford. But is my husband comming?
  Mist.Page. I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the
basket too, howsoeuer he hath had intelligence

   Mist.Ford. Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to
carry the basket againe, to meete him at the doore with
it, as they did last time

   Mist.Page. Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go
dresse him like the witch of Brainford

   Mist.Ford. Ile first direct my men, what they
shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for
him straight

   Mist.Page. Hang him dishonest Varlet,
We cannot misuse enough:
We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,
Wiues may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not acte that often, iest, and laugh,
'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh

   Mist.Ford. Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your
shoulders: your Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you
set it downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch

   1 Ser. Come, come, take it vp

   2 Ser. Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe

   1 Ser. I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead

   Ford. I, but if it proue true (Mr. Page) haue you any
way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the basket
villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a basket:
Oh you Panderly Rascals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,
a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be sham'd.
What wife I say: Come, come forth: behold what honest
cloathes you send forth to bleaching

   Page. Why, this passes M[aster]. Ford: you are not to goe
loose any longer, you must be pinnion'd

   Euans. Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a
mad dogge

   Shall. Indeed M[aster]. Ford, this is not well indeed

   Ford. So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris Ford, Mistris
Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the vertuous
creature, that hath the iealious foole to her husband:
I suspect without cause (Mistris) do I?
  Mist.Ford. Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you
suspect me in any dishonesty

   Ford. Well said Brazon-face, hold it out: Come forth
sirrah

   Page. This passes

   Mist.Ford. Are you not asham'd, let the cloths alone

   Ford. I shall finde you anon

   Eua. 'Tis vnreasonable; will you take vp your wiues
cloathes? Come, away

   Ford. Empty the basket I say

   M.Ford. Why man, why?
  Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conuay'd
out of my house yesterday in this basket: why
may not he be there againe, in my house I am sure he is:
my Intelligence is true, my iealousie is reasonable, pluck
me out all the linnen

   Mist.Ford. If you find a man there, he shall dye a Fleas
death

   Page. Heer's no man

   Shal. By my fidelity this is not well Mr. Ford: This
wrongs you

   Euans. Mr Ford, you must pray, and not follow the
imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealousies

   Ford. Well, hee's not heere I seeke for

   Page. No, nor no where else but in your braine

   Ford. Helpe to search my house this one time: if I find
not what I seeke, shew no colour for my extremity: Let
me for euer be your Table-sport: Let them say of me, as
iealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow Wall-nut for his
wiues Lemman. Satisfie me once more, once more serch
with me

   M.Ford. What hoa (Mistris Page,) come you and
the old woman downe: my husband will come into the
Chamber

   Ford. Old woman? what old womans that?
  M.Ford. Why it is my maids Aunt of Brainford

   Ford. A witch, a Queane, an olde couzening queane:
Haue I not forbid her my house. She comes of errands
do's she? We are simple men, wee doe not know what's
brought to passe vnder the profession of Fortune-telling.
She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th' Figure, & such
dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know nothing.
Come downe you Witch, you Hagge you, come
downe I say

   Mist.Ford. Nay, good sweet husband, good Gentlemen,
let him strike the old woman

   Mist.Page. Come mother Prat, Come giue me your
hand

   Ford. Ile Prat-her: Out of my doore, you Witch,
you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion,
out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune-tell you

   Mist.Page. Are you not asham'd?
I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman

   Mist.Ford. Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite
for you

   Ford. Hang her witch

   Eua. By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch indeede:
I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I spie
a great peard vnder his muffler

   Ford. Will you follow Gentlemen, I beseech you follow:
see but the issue of my iealousie: If I cry out thus
vpon no traile, neuer trust me when I open againe

   Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:
Come Gentlemen

   Mist.Page. Trust me he beate him most pittifully

   Mist.Ford. Nay by th' Masse that he did not: he beate
him most vnpittifully, me thought

   Mist.Page. Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung
ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious seruice

   Mist.Ford. What thinke you? May we with the warrant
of woman-hood, and the witnesse of a good conscience,
pursue him with any further reuenge?
  M.Page. The spirit of wantonnesse is sure scar'd out
of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee-simple, with
fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of
waste, attempt vs againe

   Mist.Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue
seru'd him?
  Mist.Page. Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to scrape
the figures out of your husbands braines: if they can find
in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight shall be
any further afflicted, wee two will still bee the ministers

   Mist.Ford. Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely
sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the
iest, should he not be publikely sham'd

   Mist.Page. Come, to the Forge with it, then shape it:
I would not haue things coole.

Exeunt.

Scena Tertia.

Enter Host and Bardolfe.

  Bar. Sir, the Germane desires to haue three of your
horses: the Duke himselfe will be to morrow at Court,
and they are going to meet him

   Host. What Duke should that be comes so secretly?
I heare not of him in the Court: let mee speake with the
Gentlemen, they speake English?
  Bar. I Sir? Ile call him to you

   Host. They shall haue my horses, but Ile make them
pay: Ile sauce them, they haue had my houses a week at
commaund: I haue turn'd away my other guests, they
must come off, Ile sawce them, come.

Exeunt.

Scena Quarta.

Enter Page, Ford, Mistris Page, Mistris Ford, and Euans.