A score of frowning and reproving brows were bent upon the
unappalled yeoman, who, having given vent to his displeasure,
stalked sturdily downstairs with the rest of the company, totally
disregarding the censures of those whom his remarks had
scandalised.

And then the funeral pomp set forth; saulies with their batons, and
gumphions of tarnished white crape, in honour of the well-preserved
maiden fame of Mrs. Margaret Bertram. Six starved horses,
themselves the very emblems of mortality, well cloaked and plumed,
lugging along the hearse with its dismal emblazonry, crept in slow
state towards the place of interment, preceded by Jamie Duff, an
idiot, who, with weepers and cravat made of white paper, attended
on every funeral, and followed by six mourning coaches, filled with
the company. Many of these now gave more free loose to their
tongues, and discussed with unrestrained earnestness the amount of
the succession, and the probability of its destination. The
principal expectants, however, kept a prudent silence, indeed,
ashamed to express hopes which might prove fallacious; and the
agent, or man of business, who alone knew exactly how matters
stood, maintained a countenance of mysterious importance, as if
determined to preserve the full interest of anxiety and suspense.

At length they arrived at the churchyard gates, and from thence,
amid the gaping of two or three dozen of idle women with infants in
their arms, and accompanied by some twenty children, who ran
gambolling and screaming alongside of the sable procession, they
finally arrived at the burial-place of the Singleside family. This
was a square enclosure in the Greyfriars churchyard, guarded on one
side by a veteran angel, without a nose, and having only one wing,
who had the merit of having maintained his post for a century,
while his comrade cherub, who had stood sentinel on the
corresponding pedestal, lay a broken trunk among the hemlock,
burdock, and nettles, which grew in gigantic luxuriance around the
walls of the mausoleum. A moss-grown and broken inscription
informed the reader, that in the Year 1650 Captain Andrew Bertram,
first of Singleside, descended of the very ancient and honourable
house of Ellangowan, had caused this monument to be erected for
himself and his descendants. A reasonable number of scythes and
hour-glasses, and death's heads, and cross-bones, garnished the
following sprig of sepulchral poetry, to the memory of the founder
of the mausoleum;--

Nathaniel's heart, Bezaleel's hand.  If ever any had, These boldly
do I say had he, Who lieth in this bed.

Here then, amid the deep black fat loam into which her ancestors
were now resolved, they deposited the body of Mrs. Margaret
Bertram; and 'like soldiers returning from a military funeral, the
nearest relations who might be interested in the settlements of the
lady, urged the dog-cattle of the hackney coaches to all the speed
of which they were capable, in order to put an end to further
suspense on that interesting topic.



CHAPTER XXXVIII.

  Die and endow a college or a cat
    Pope

There is a fable told by Lucian, that while a troop of monkeys,
well drilled by an intelligent manager, were performing a tragedy
with great applause, the decorum of the whole scene was at once
destroyed, and the natural passions of the actors called forth into
very indecent and active emulation, by a wag who threw a handful of
nuts upon the stage. In like manner, the approaching crisis
stirred up among the expectants feelings of a nature very different
from those, of which, under the superintendence of Mr. Mortcloke,
they had but now been endeavouring to imitate the expression. Those
eyes which were lately devoutly cast up to heaven, or with greater
humility bent solemnly upon earth, were now sharply and alertly
darting their glances through shuttles, and trunks, and drawers,
and cabinets, and all the odd corners of an old maiden lady's
repositories. Nor was their search without interest, though they
did not find the will of which they were in quest.

Here was a promissory note for 20L by the minister of the nonjuring
chapel. interest marked as paid to Martinmas last, carefully
folded up in a new set of words to the old tune of "Over the Water
to Charlie".--there, was a curious love correspondence between the
deceased and a certain Lieutenant O'Kean of a marching regiment of
foot; and tied up with the letters was a document, which at once
explained to the relatives why a connection that boded them little
good had been suddenly broken off, being the Lieutenant's bond for
two hundred pounds upon which no interest whatever appeared to have
been paid. Other bills and bonds to a larger amount, and signed by
better names (I mean commercially) than those of the worthy divine
and gallant soldier, also occurred in the course of their
researches, besides a hoard of coins of every size and
denomination, and scraps of broken gold and silver, old earrings,
hinges of cracked snuff-boxes, mounting of spectacles, etc., etc.,
etc. Still no will made its appearance, and Colonel Mannering
began full well to hope that the settlement which he had obtained
from Glossin contained the ultimate arrangement of the old lady's
affairs. But his friend Pleydell, who now came into the room,
cautioned him against entertaining this belief.

"I am well acquainted with the gentleman," he said, "who is
conducting the search, and I guess from his manner that he knows
something more of the matter than any of us." Meantime, while the
search proceeds, let us take a brief glance at one or two of the
company, who seem most interested.

Of Dinmont, who, with his large hunting-whip under his arm, stood
poking his great round face over the shoulder of the homme
d'affaires, it is unnecessary to say anything. That thin-looking
oldish person, in a most correct and gentleman-like suit of
mourning is Mac-Casquil, formerly of Drumquag, who was ruined by
having a legacy bequeathed to him of two shares in the Ayr bank.
His hopes on the present occasion are founded on a very distant
relationship, upon his sitting in the same pew with the deceased
every Sunday, and upon his playing at cribbage with her regularly
on the Saturday evenings--taking great care never to come off a
winner. That other coarse-looking man, wearing his own greasy hair
tied in a leathern cue more greasy still, is a tobacconist, a
relation of Mrs. Bertram's mother, who, having a good stock in
trade when the colonial war broke out, trebled the price of his
commodity to all the world, Mrs. Bertram alone excepted, whose
tortoiseshell snuff-box was weekly filled with the best rappee at
the old prices, because the maid brought it to the shop with Mrs.
Bertram's respects to her cousin Mr. Quid. That young fellow, who
has not had the decency to put off his boots and buckskins, might
have stood as forward as most of them in the graces of the old
lady, who loved to look upon a comely young man; but it is thought
he has forfeited the moment of fortune, by sometimes neglecting her
tea-table when solemnly invited; sometimes appearing there, when he
had been dining with blither company; twice treading upon her cat's
tail, and once affronting her parrot.

To Mannering, the most interesting of the group was the poor girl,
who had been a sort of humble companion of the deceased, as a
subject upon whom she could at all times expectorate her bad
humour. She was for form's sake dragged into the room by the
deceased's favourite female attendant, where, shrinking into a
corner as soon as possible, she saw with wonder and affright the
intrusive researches of the strangers amongst those recesses to
which from childhood she had looked with awful veneration. This
girl was regarded with an unfavourable eye by, all the competitors,
honest Dinmont only excepted; the rest conceived they should find
in her a formidable competitor, whose claims might at least
encumber and diminish their chance of succession. Yet she was the
only person present who seemed really to feel sorrow for the
deceased. Mrs. Bertram had been her protectress, although from
selfish motives, and her capricious tyranny was forgotten at the
moment while the tears followed each other fast down the cheeks of
her frightened and friendless dependant. "There's ower muckle saut
water there, Drumquag," said the tobacconist to the ex-proprietor,
"to bode ither folk muckle gude. Folk seldom greet that gate but
they ken what it's for. Mr. MacCasquil only replied with a nod,
feeling the propriety of asserting his superior gentry in presence
of Mr. Pleydell and Colonel Mannering.

"Very queer if there suld be nae will after a', friend," said
Dinmont, who began to grow impatient, to the man of business.

"A moment's patience, it you please--she was a good and prudent
woman, Mrs. Margaret Bertram--a good, and prudent and well-judging
woman, and knew how to choose friends and depositories--she may
have put her last will and testament, or rather her mortis causa
settlement, as it relates to heritage, into the hands of some safe
friend."

"I'll bet a rump and dozen," said Pleydell, whispering to the
Colonel, "he has got it in his own pocket;"--then addressing the
man of law, "Come, sir, we'll cut this short if you please-here is
a settlement of the estate of Singleside, executed several years
ago, in favour of Miss Lucy Bertram of Ellangowan--"The company
stared fearfully wild. "You, I presume, Mr. Protocol, can inform
us if there is a later deed?"

"Please to favour me, Mr. Pleydell;"--and so saying, he took the
deed out of the learned counsel's hand, and glanced his eve over
the contents.

"Too cool," said Pleydell, "too cool by half--he has another deed
in his pocket still."

"Why does he not show it then, and be d-d to him!" said the
military gentleman, whose patience began to wax threadbare.

"Why, how should I know?" answered the barrister,--"why does a cat
not kill a mouse when she takes him?--the consciousness of power
and the love of teasing, I suppose. --Well, Mr. Protocol, what
say you to that deed?"

"Why, Mr. Pleydell, the deed is a well-drawn deed, properly
authenticated and tested in forms of the statute."

"But recalled or superseded by another of posterior date in your
possession, eh?" said the counsellor.

"Something of the sort, I confess, Mr. Pleydell," rejoined the man
of business, producing a bundle tied with tape, and sealed at each
fold and ligation with black wax. "That deed, Mr. Pleydell, which
you produce and found upon, is dated 1st June 17--; but
this"--breaking the seals and unfolding the document slowly--"is
dated the 20th--no, I see it is the 21st, of April of this present
year, being ten years posterior."

"Marry, hang her, brock!" said the counsellor, borrowing an
exclamation from Sir Toby Belch, "just the month in which
Ellangowan's distresses became generally public. But let us hear
what she has done."

Mr. Protocol accordingly, having required silence, began to read
the settlement aloud in a slow, steady, business--like tone. The
group around, in whose eyes hope alternately awakened and faded,
and who were straining their apprehensions to get at the drift of
the testator's meaning through the mist of technical language in
which the conveyance had involved it, might have made a study for
Hogarth.

The deed was of an unexpected nature. It set forth with conveying
and disposing all and whole the estate and lands of Singleside and
others, with the lands of Loverless, Liealone, Spinster's Knowe,
and heaven knows what beside, "to and in favours of (here the
reader softened his voice to a gentle and modest piano) Peter
Protocol, clerk to the signet, having the fullest confidence in his
capacity and integrity--(these are the very words which my worthy
deceased friend insisted upon my inserting)--But in TRUST always"
(here the reader recovered his voice and style, and the visages of
several of the bearers, which had attained a longitude that Mr.
Mortcloke might have envied, were perceptibly shortened), "in TRUST
always, and for the uses, ends, and purposes herein
after-mentioned."

In these "uses, ends, and purposes," lay the cream of the affair.
The first was introduced by a preamble setting forth, that the
testatrix was lineally descended from the ancient house of
Ellangowan, her respected great-grandfather, Andrew Bertram, first
of Singleside, of happy memory, having been second son to Allan
Bertram, fifteenth Baron of Ellangowan. It proceeded to state,
that Henry Bertram, son and heir of Godfrey Bertram, now of
Ellangowan, had been stolen from his parents in infancy, but that
she, the testatrix, was well assured that he was yet alive in
foreign parts, and by the providence of heaven would be restored to
the possessions of his ancestors--in which case the said Peter
Protocol was bound and obliged, like as he bound and obliged
himself, by acceptance of these presents, to denude himself of the
said lands of Singleside and others, and of all the other effects
thereby conveyed (excepting always a proper gratification for his
own trouble) to and in favour of the said Henry Bertram upon his
return to his native country. And during the time of his residing
in foreign parts, or in case of his never again returning to
Scotland, Mr. Peter Protocol, the trustee, was directed to
distribute the rents of the land, and the interest of the other
funds (deducting always a proper gratification for his trouble in
the premises), in equal portions, among four charitable
establishments pointed out in the will. The power of management,
of letting leases, of raising and lending out money, in short, the
full authority of a proprietor, was vested in this confidential
trustee, and, in the event of, his death, went to certain official
persons named in the deed. There were only two legacies; one of a
hundred pounds to a favourite waiting-maid, another of the like sum
to Janet Gibson (whom the deed stated to have been supported by the
charity of the testatrix) for the purpose of binding her an
apprentice to some honest trade.

A settlement in mortmain is in Scotland termed a mortification, and
in one great borough (Aberdeen, if I remember rightly) there is a
municipal officer who takes care of these public endowments, and is
thence called the Master of Mortifications. One would almost
presume that the term had its origin in the effect which such
settlements usually produce upon the kinsmen of those by whom they
are executed. Heavy at least was the mortification which befell
the audience, who, in the late Mrs. Margaret Bertram's parlour, had
listened to this unexpected destination of the lands of
Singleside. There was a profound silence after the deed had been
read over.

Mr. Pleydell was the first to speak. He begged to look at the
deed, and having satisfied himself that it was correctly drawn and
executed, he returned it without any observation, only saying aside
to Mannering, "Protocol is not worse than other people, I believe;
but this old lady has determined that, if he do not turn rogue, it
shall not be for want of temptation."

"I really think," said Mr. Mac-Casquil of Drumquag, who, having
gulped down one half of his vexation, determined to give vent to
the rest, "I really think this is an extraordinary case! I should
like now to know from Mr. Protocol, who, being sole and unlimited
trustee, must have been consulted upon this occasion; I should
like, I say, to know, how Mrs. Bertram could possibly believe in
the existence of a boy, that a' the world kens was murdered many a
year since?"

"Really, sir," said Mr. Protocol, "I do not conceive it is possible
for me to explain her motives more than she has done herself. Our
excellent deceased friend was a good woman, sir--a pious woman--and
might have grounds for confidence in the boy's safety which are not
accessible to us, sir."

"Hout," said the tobacconist, "I ken very weel what were her
grounds for confidence. There's Mrs. Rebecca (the maid) sitting
there, has tell'd me a hundred times in my ain shop, there was nae
kenning how her leddy wad settle her affairs, for an auld gipsy
witch wife at Gilsland had possessed her with a notion, that the
callant--Harry Bertram ca's she him?--would come alive again some
day after a'--ye'll no deny that, Mrs. Rebecca?--though I dare to
say ye forgot to put your mistress in mind of what ye promised to
say when I gied ye mony a half-crown--But ye'll no deny what I am
saying now, lass?"

"I ken naething at a' about it," answered Rebecca doggedly, and
looking straight forward with the firm countenance of one not
disposed to be compelled to remember more than was agreeable to
her.

"Weel said, Rebecca! ye're satisfied wi' your ain share ony way,"
rejoined the tobacconist.

The buck of the second-head, for a buck of the first-head he was
not, had hitherto been slapping his boots with his switch-whip, and
looking like a spoiled child that has lost its supper. His
murmurs, however, were all vented inwardly, or at most in a
soliloquy such as this--"I am sorry, by G-d, I ever plagued myself
about her--I came here, by G-d, one night to drink tea, and I left
King, and the Duke's rider, Will Hack. They were toasting a round
of running horses; by G-d, I might have got leave to wear the
jacket as well as other folk, if I had carried it on with them--
and she has not so much as left me that hundred!"

"We'll make the payment of the note quite agreeable," said Mr.
Protocol, who had no wish to increase at that moment the odium
attached to his office--"and now, gentlemen, I fancy we have no
more to wait for here, and--I shall put the settlement of my
excellent and worthy friend on record to-morrow, that every
gentleman may examine the contents, and have free access to take an
extract; and"--he proceeded to lock up the repositories of the
deceased with more speed than he had opened them--"Mrs. Rebecca,
ye'll be so kind as to keep all right here until we can let the
house--I had an offer from a tenant this morning, if such a thing
should be, and if I was to have any management."

Our friend Dinmont, having had his hopes as well as another, had
hitherto sat sulky enough in the armchair formerly appropriated to
the deceased, and in which she would have been not a little
scandalised to have seen this colossal specimen of the masculine
gender lolling at length. His employment had been rolling up, into
the form of a coiled snake, the long lash of his horsewhip, and
then by a jerk causing it to unroll itself into the middle of the
floor. The first words he said when he had digested the shock,
contained a magnanimous declaration, which he probably was not
conscious of having uttered aloud--"Weel-blude's thicker than
water--she's welcome to the cheeses and the hams just the same."
But when the trustee had made the above-mentioned motion for the
mourners to depart, and talked of the house being immediately let,
honest Dinmont got upon his feet, and stunned the company with this
blunt question, "And what's to come o' this poor lassie then, Jenny
Gibson? Sae mony o' us as thought oursells sib to the family when
the gear was parting, we may do something for her amang us surely."

This proposal seemed to dispose most of the assembly instantly to
evacuate the premises, although upon Mr. Protcol's motion they had
lingered as if around the grave of their disappointed hopes.
Drumquag said, or rather muttered, something of having a family of
his own, and took precedence, in virtue of his gentle blood, to
depart as fast as possible. The tobacconist sturdily stood
forward, and scouted the motion--"A little huzzie, like that, was
weel eneugh provided for already; and Mr. Protocol at ony rate was
the proper person to take direction of her, as he had charge of her
legacy;" and after uttering such his opinion in a steady and
decisive tone of voice, he also left the place. The buck made a
stupid and brutal attempt at a jest upon Mrs. Bertram's
recommendation that the poor girl should be taught some honest
trade; but encountered a scowl from Colonel Mannering's darkening
eye (to whom, in his ignorance of the tone of good society, he had
looked for applause) that made him ache to the very backbone. He
shuffled downstairs, therefore, as fast as possible.

Protocol, who was really a good sort of man, next expressed his
intention to take a temporary charge of the young lady, under
protest always, that his so doing should be considered as merely
eleemosynary; when Dinmont at length got up, and, having shaken his
huge dreadnought greatcoat, as a Newfoundland dog does his shaggy
hide when he comes out of the water, ejaculated, "Weel, deil hae me
then, if ye hae ony fash [*Trouble] wi' her, Mr. Protocol, if she
likes to gang hame wi' me, that is. Ye see, Ailie and me we're
weel to pass, and we would like the lassies to hae a wee bit mair
lair than oursells, and to be neighbour-like--that wad we. --And
ye see Jenny canna miss but to ken manners, and the like o' reading
books, and sewing seams--having lived sae lang wi' a grand lady
like Lady Singleside; or if she disna ken onything about it, I'm
jealous that our bairns will like her a' the better. And I'll take
care o' the bits o' claes, and what spending siller she maun hae,
so the--hundred pound may rin on in your hands, Mr. Protocol, and
I'll be adding something till't, till she'll maybe get a Liddesdale
joe that wants something to help to buy the hirsel.  [*The stock
of sheep]--What d'ye say to that, hinny? I'll take out a ticket for
ye in the fly to Jethart--odd, but ye maun take a powny after that
o'er the Limestane-rig--deil a wheeled carriage ever gaed into
Liddesdale.  [*The roads of Liddesdale, in Dandie Dinmont's days,
could not he said to exist, and the district was only accessible
through a succession of tremendous morasses. About thirty years
ago, the author himself was the first person who ever drove a
little open carriage into these wilds: the excellent roads by which
they are now traversed being then in some progress. The people
stared with no small wonder at a sight which many of them had never
witnessed in their lives before. ]--And I'll be very glad if Mrs.
Rebecca comes wi' you, hinny, and stays a month or twa while ye're
stranger like."

While Mrs. Rebecca was curtseying, and endeavouring to make the
poor orphan girl curtsey instead of crying, and while Dandie, in
his rough way, was encouraging them both, old Pleydell had recourse
to his snuff-box. It's meat and drink to me, now, Colonel," he
said, as he recovered himself, "to see a clown like this--I must
gratify him in his own way,--must assist him to ruin
himself--there's no help for it. Here, you
Liddesdale--Dandie--Charlies-hope-what do they call you?"

The farmer turned, infinitely gratified even by this sort of
notice; for in his heart, next to his own landlord, he honoured a
lawyer in high practice.

"So you will not be advised against trying that question about your
marches?"

"No--no, sir--naebody likes to lose their right, and to be laughed
at down the haill water. But since your honour's no agreeable, and
is maybe a friend to the other side like, we maun try some other
advocate."

"There--I told you so, Colonel Mannering!--Well, sir, if you must
needs be a fool, the business is to give you the luxury of a
lawsuit at the least possible expense, and to bring you off
conqueror if possible. Let Mr. Protocol send me your papers, and I
will advise him how to conduct your cause. I don't see, after all,
why you should not have your lawsuits too, and your feuds in the
Court of Session, as well as your forefathers had their
manslaughters and fire-raisings."

"Very natural, to be sure, sir. We wad just take the auld gate as
readily, if it werena for the law. And as the law binds us, the
law should loose us. Besides, a, man's aye the better thought o'
in out country for having been afore the Feifteen."

"Excellently argued, my friend! Away with you, and send your papers
to me.--Come, Colonel, we have no more to do here."

"God, we'll ding [*Defeat] Jock o' Dawston Cleugh now after a'!"
said Dinmont, slapping his thigh in great exultation.



CHAPTER XXXIX.

  --I am going to the parliament;

  You understand this bag: If you have any business
  Depending there, be short, and let me hear it, And pay
  your fees.            Little French Lawyer.

"SHALL you be able to carry this honest fellow's cause for him?"
said Mannering.

"Why, I don't know; the battle is not to the strong, but he shall
come off triumphant over Jock of Dawston if we can make it out. I
owe him something. It is the pest of our profession that we seldom
see the best side of human nature. People come to us with every
selfish feeling newly pointed and grinded; they turn down the very
caulkers of their animosities and prejudices, as smiths do with
horses' shoes in a white frost. Many a man has come to my garret
Yonder, that I have at first longed to pitch out at the window, and
yet, at length, have discovered that he was only doing as I might
have done in his case, being very angry, and, of course, very
unreasonable. I have now satisfied myself, that if our profession
sees more of human folly and human roguery than others, it is
because we witness them acting in that channel in which they can
most freely vent themselves. In civilised society, law is the
chimney through which all that smoke discharges itself that used to
circulate through the whole house, and put every one's eyes out--no
wonder, therefore, that the vent itself should sometimes get a
little sooty. But we will take care our Liddesdale-man's cause is
well conducted and well argued, so all unnecessary expense will be
saved--he shall have his pineapple at wholesale price."

"Will you do me the pleasure," said Mannering, as they parted, "to
dine with me at my lodgings? my landlord says he has a bit of
red-deer venison, and some excellent wine."

"Venison--eh?" answered the counsellor alertly, but presently
added--"But no! it's impossible--and I can't ask you home neither.
Monday's a sacred day--so's Tuesday--and Wednesday, we are to be
heard in the great teind case in presence--but stay--it's frosty
weather, and if you don't leave town, and that venison would keep
till Thursday--"

"You will dine with me that day?"

"Under certification."

"Well, then, I will indulge a thought I had of spending a week
here; and if the venison will not keep, why, we will see what else
our landlord can do for us."

"Oh, the venison will keep," said Pleydell; "and now good-bye--look
at these two or three notes, and deliver them if you like the
addresses. I wrote them for you this morning--farewell; my clerk
has been waiting this hour to begin a d-d information."--And away
walked Mr. Pleydell with great activity, diving through closes and
ascending covered stairs, in order to attain the High Street by an
access, which, compared to the common route, was what the Straits
of Magellan are to the more open, but circuitous passage round Cape
Horn.

On looking at the notes of introduction which Pleydell had thrust
into his hand, Mannering was gratified with seeing that they were
addressed to some of the first literary characters of Scotland. "To
David Hume, Esq." "To John Home, Esq." "To Dr. Ferguson." "To Dr.
Black." "To Lord Kaimes." "To Mr. Hutton." "To John Clerk, Esq.,
of Eldin." "To Adam Smith, Esq." "To Dr. Robertson."

"Upon my word, my legal friend has a good selection of
acquaintances--these are names pretty widely blown indeed--an
East-Indian must rub up his faculties a little, and put his mind in
order, before he enters this sort of society."

Mannering gladly availed himself of these introductions; and we
regret deeply it is not in our power to give the reader an account
of the pleasure and information which he received, in admission to
a circle never closed against strangers of sense and information,
and which has perhaps at no period been equalled, considering the
depth and variety of talent which it embraced and concentrated.

Upon the Thursday appointed, Mr. Pleydell made his appearance at
the inn where Colonel Mannering lodged. The venison proved in high
order, the claret excellent, and the learned counsel, a professed
amateur in the affairs of the table, did distinguished honour to
both. I am uncertain, however, if even the good cheer gave him
more satisfaction than the presence of Dominie Sampson, from whom,
in his own juridical style of wit, he contrived to extract great
amusement, both for himself and one or two friends whom the Colonel
regaled on the same occasion. The grave and laconic simplicity of
Sampson's answers to the insidious questions of the barrister,
placed the bonhomie of his character in a more luminous point of
view than Mannering had yet seen it. Upon the same occasion he drew
forth a strange quantity of miscellaneous and abstruse, though,
generally speaking, useless learning. The lawyer afterwards
compared his mind to the magazine of a pawnbroker, stowed with
goods of every description, but so cumbrously piled together, and
in such total disorganisation, that the owner can never lay his
hands upon any one article at the moment he has occasion for it.

As for the advocate himself, he afforded at least as much exercise
to Sampson as he extracted amusement from him. When the man of law
began to get into his altitudes, and his wit, naturally shrewd and
dry, became more lively and poignant, the Dominie looked upon him
with that sort of surprise with which we can conceive a tame bear
might regard his future associate, the monkey, on their being first
introduced to each other. It was Mr. Pleydell's delight to state
in grave and serious argument some position which he knew the
Dominie would be inclined to dispute. He then beheld with
exquisite pleasure the internal labour with which the honest man
arranged his ideas for reply, and tasked his inert and sluggish
powers to bring up all the heavy artillery of his learning for
demolishing the schismatic or heretical opinion which had been
stated--when, behold, before the ordnance could be discharged,
the foe had quitted the post, and appeared in a new position of
annoyance on the Dominie's flank or rear. Often did he exclaim
"Prodigious!" when, marching up to the enemy in full confidence of
victory, he found the field evacuated, and it may be supposed that
it cost him no little labour to attempt a new formation. "He was
like a native Indian army," the Colonel said, "formidable by
numerical strength and size of ordnance, but liable to be thrown
into irreparable confusion by a movement to take them in
flank."--On the whole, however, the Dominie, though somewhat
fatigued with these mental exertions, made at unusual speed and
upon the pressure of the moment, reckoned this one of the white
days of his life, and always mentioned Mr. Pleydell as a very
erudite and fa-ce-ti-ous person.

By degrees the rest of the party dropped off, and left these three
gentlemen together. Their conversation turned to Mrs. Bertram's
settlements. "Now what could drive it into the noddle of that old
harridan," said Pleydell, "to disinherit poor Lucy Bertram, under
pretence of settling her property on a boy who has been so long
dead and gone?--I ask your pardon, Mr. Sampson, I forgot what an
affecting case this was for you--I remember taking your examination
upon it--and I never had so much trouble to make any one speak
three words consecutively--You may talk of your Pythagoreans, or
your silent Brahmins, Colonel,--go to, I tell you this learned
gentleman beats them all in taciturnity--but the words of the wise
are precious, and not to be thrown away lightly."

"Of a surety," said the Dominie, taking his blue-checked
handkerchief from his eyes, "that was a bitter day with me indeed;
ay, and a day of grief hard to be borne--but He giveth strength who
layeth on the load."

Colonel Mannering took this opportunity to request Mr. Pleydell to
inform him of the particulars attending the loss of the boy; and
the counsellor, who was fond of talking upon subjects of criminal
jurisprudence, especially when connected with his own experience,
went through the circumstances at full length. "And what is your
opinion upon the result of the whole?"

"Oh, that Kennedy was murdered: it's an old case which has occurred
on that coast before now--the case of Smuggler versus Exciseman."

"What then is your conjecture concerning the fate of the child?

"Oh, murdered too, doubtless," answered Pleydell. "He was old
enough to tell what he had seen, and these ruthless scoundrels
would not scruple committing a second Bethlehem massacre if they
thought their interest required it."

The Dominie groaned deeply, and ejaculated, "Enormous!"

"'Yet there was mention of gipsies in the business too,
counsellor," said Mannering, "and from what that vulgar-looking
fellow said after the funeral--"

"Mrs. Margaret Bertram's idea that the child was alive was founded
upon the report of a gipsy," said Pleydell, catching at the
half-spoken hint--"I envy you the concatenation, Colonel--it is a
shame to me not to have drawn the same conclusion. We'll follow
this business tip instantly--Here, hark ye, waiter, go down to
Luckie Wood's in the Cowgate; ye'll find my clerk Driver; he'll be
set down to High-jinks by this time (for we and our retainers,
Colonel, are exceedingly regular in our irregularities); tell him
to come here instantly, and I will pay his forfeits."

"He won't appear in character, will he?" said Mannering.

"Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me," said Pleydell. "But
we must have some news from the land of Egypt, if possible. Oh, if
I had but hold of the slightest thread of this complicated skein,
you should see how I would unravel it!--I would work the truth out
of your Bohemian, as the French call them, better than a Monitoire,
or a Plainte de Tournelle; I know how to manage a refractory
witness."

While Mr. Pleydell was thus vaunting his knowledge of his
profession, the waiter re-entered with Mr. Driver, his mouth still
greasy with mutton pies, and the froth of the last draught of
twopenny yet unsubsided on his upper lip, with such speed had he
obeyed the commands of his principal.--"Driver, you must go
instantly and find out the woman who was old Mrs. Margaret
Bertram's maid. Inquire for her everywhere, but if you find it
necessary to have recourse to Protocol, Quid the tobacconist, or
any other of these folks, you will take care not to appear
yourself, but send some woman of your acquaintance--I dare say you
know enough that may be so condescending as to oblige you. When
you have found her out, engage her to come to my chambers to-morrow
at eight o'clock precisely."

"What shall I say to make her forthcoming?" asked the aide-de-camp.

"Anything you choose," replied the lawyer. "Is it my business to
make lies for you, do you think? But let her be in praesentia by
eight o'clock, as I have said before." The clerk grinned, made his
reverence, and exit.

"That's a useful fellow," said the counsellor "I don't believe his
match ever carried a process. He'll write to my dictating three
nights in the week without sleep, or, what's the same thing, he
writes as well and correctly when he's asleep as when he's awake.
Then he's such a steady fellow--some of them are always changing
their alehouses, so that they have twenty cadies sweating after
them, like the bare-headed captains traversing the taverns of
East-Cheap in search of Sir John Falstaff. But this is a complete
fixture-he has his winter seat by the fire, and his summer seat by
the window, in Luckie Wood's, betwixt which seats are his only
migrations; there he's to be found at all times when he is off
duty. It is my opinion he never puts off his clothes or goes to
sleep--sheer ale supports him under everything. It is meat, drink,
and clothing, bed, board, and washing."

"And is he always fit for duty upon a sudden turn-out? I should
distrust it, considering his quarters."

"Oh, s drink never disturbs him, Colonel; he can write for hours
after he cannot speak. I remember being called suddenly to draw an
appeal case. I had been dining, and it was Saturday night, and I
had ill will to begin to it--however, they got me down to
Clerihugh's, and there we sat birling till I had a fair tappit hen,
[*See Note VI. Tappit Hen. ] under my belt, and then they
persuaded me to draw the paper. Then we had to seek Driver, and it
was all that two men could do to bear him in, for, when found, he
was, as it happened, both motionless and speechless. But no sooner
was his pen put between his fingers, his paper stretched before
him, and he heard my voice, than he began to write like a
scrivener--and, excepting that we were obliged to have somebody to
dip his pen in the ink, for he could not see the standish, I never
saw a thing scrolled more handsomely."

"But how did your joint production look the next morning?" said the
Colonel.

"Wheugh! capital--not three words required to be altered; [* See
Note VII. Convivial Habits of the Scottish Bar. ] it was sent off
by that day's post. But you'll come and breakfast with me
to-morrow, and hear this woman's examination?"

"Why, your hour is rather early."

"Can't make it later. If I were not on the boards of the Outer
House precisely as the nine-hours bell rings, there would be a
report that I had got an apoplexy, and I should feel the effects of
it all the rest of the session."

"Well, I will make an exertion to wait upon you."

Here the company broke up for the evening.

In the morning Colonel Mannering appeared at the counsellor's
chambers, although cursing the raw air of a Scottish morning in
December. Mr. Pleydell had got Mrs. Rebecca installed on one side
of his fire, accommodated her with a cup of chocolate, and was
already deeply engaged in conversation with her. "Oh no, I assure
you, Mrs. Rebecca, there is no intention to challenge your
mistress's will; and I give you my word of honour that your legacy
is quite safe. You have deserved it by your conduct to your
mistress, and I wish it had been twice as much."

"Why, to be sure, sir, it's no right to mention what is said before
ane--ye heard how that dirty body Quid cast up to me the bits o'
compliments he gied me, and tell'd owre again ony loose cracks
[*Gossip ] I might hae had wi' him; now if ane was talking loosely
to your honour, there's nae saying what might come o't."

"I assure you, my good Rebecca, my character and your own age and
appearance are your security, if you should talk as loosely as an
amatory poet."

"Aweel, if your honour thinks I am safe-the story is just this.--Ye
see, about a year ago, or no just sae lang, my leddy was advised to
go to Gilsland for a while for her spirits were distressing her
sair. Ellangowan's troubles began to be spoken o' publicly, and
sair vexed she was--or she was proud o' her family. For Ellangowan
himsell and her, they sometimes 'greed, and sometimes no--but at
last they didna 'gree at a' for twa or three year--for he was aye
wanting to borrow siller, and that was what she couldna bide at no
hand, and she was aye wanting it paid back again, and that the
Laird he liked as little. So, at last, they were clean aff
thegither. And then some of the company at Gilsland tells her that
the estate was to be sell'd; and ye wad hae thought she had taen an
ill will at Miss Lucy Bertram frae that moment, for mony a time she
cried to me, 'O Becky, O Becky, if that useless peenging thing o' a
lassie there, at Ellangowan, that canna keep her ne'er-do-weel
father within bounds--if she had been but a lad-bairn, they couldna
hae sell'd the auld inheritance for that fool-body's debt;'--and
she would rin on that way till I was just wearied and sick to hear
her ban the puir lassie, as if she wadna hae been a lad-bairn, and
keepit the land, if it had been in her will to change her sect. And
ae day at the spae-well below the craig at Gilsland, she was seeing
a very bonny family o' bairns--they belonged to ane MacCrosky--and
she broke out--'Is not it an odd like thing that ilka waf carlfe
[*Every insignificant churl] in the country has a son and heir, and
that the house of Ellangowan is without male succession?' There was
a gipsy wife stood ahint and heard her--a muckle sture [*Strong]
fearsome-looking wife she was as ever I set een on.--'Wha is it,'
says she, 'that dare say the house of Ellangowan will perish
without male succession?' My mistress just turned on her--she was a
high-spirited woman, and aye ready wi' an answer to a' body. 'It's
me that says it,' says she, 'that may say it with a sad heart.' Wi'
that the gipsy wife gripped till her hand; 'I ken you weel eneugh,'
said she, 'though ye kenna me--But as sure as that sun's in heaven,
and as sure as that water's rinning to the sea, and as sure as
there's an ee that sees, and an ear that hears us baith--Harry
Bertram, that was thought to perish at Warroch Point, never did die
there--he was to have a weary weird [*Cruel fate] o't till his
ane-an-twentieth year, that was aye said o' him--but if ye live and
I live, ye'll hear mair o' him this winter before the snaw lies twa
days on the Dun of Singleside--I want nane o' your siller,' she
said, 'to make ye think I am blearing [*Moistening ] your ee--fare
ye weel till after Martimas;'--and there she left us standing."

"Was she a very tall woman?" interrupted Mannering.

"Had she black hair, black eyes, and a cut above the brow?" added
the lawyer.

"She was the tallest woman I ever saw, and her hair was as black as
midnight, unless where it was gray, and she had a scar abune the
brow, that ye might hae laid the lith [*joint ] of your finger
in. Naebody that's seen her will ever forget her; and I am morally
sure that it was on the ground o' what that gipsy-woman said that
my mistress made her will, having taen a dislike at the young leddy
o' Ellangowan, and she liked her far waur after she was obliged to
send her 20L--for she said, Miss Bertram, no content wi' letting
the Ellangowan property pass into strange hands, owing to her being
a lass and no a lad, was coming, by her poverty, to be a burden and
a disgrace to Singleside too.--But I hope my mistress's is a good
will for a' that, for it would be hard an me to lose the wee bit
legacy--I served for little fee and bountith, weel I wot."

The counsellor relieved her fears on this head, then inquired after
Jenny Gibson, and understood she had accepted Mr. Dinmont's offer;
"and I have done sae mysell too, since he was sae discreet as to
ask me," said Mrs. Rebecca; they are very decent folk the Dinmonts,
though my lady didna dow to hear muckle about the friends on that
side the house. But she liked the Charlies-hope hams, and the
cheeses, and the muir-fowl, that they were aye sending, and the
lamb's-wool hose and mittens--she liked them weel eneugh."

Mr. Pleydell now dismissed Mrs. Rebecca. When she was gone, "I
think I know the gipsy woman," said the lawyer.

"I was just going to say the same," replied Mannering.

"And her name--" said Pleydell.

"Is Meg Merrilies," answered the Colonel.

"Are you avised of that?" said the counsellor, looking at his
military friend with a comic expression of surprise.

Mannering answered that he had known such a woman when he was at
Ellangowan upwards of twenty years before; and then made his
learned friend acquainted with all the remarkable particulars of
his first visit there.

Mr. Pleydell listened with great attention, and then replied, "I
congratulated myself upon having made the acquaintance of a
profound theologian in your chaplain; but I really did not expect
to find a pupil of Albumazar or Messabala in his patron. I have a
notion, however, this gipsy could tell us some more of the matter
than she derives from astrology or second-sight--I had her through
hands once, and could then make little of her, but I must write to
Mac-Morlan to stir heaven and earth to find her out. I will gladly
come to--shire myself to assist at her examination--I am still
in the commission of the peace there, though I have ceased to be
Sheriff--I never had anything more at heart in my life than tracing
that murder, and the fate of the child. I must write to the
Sheriff of Roxburghshire too, and to an active justice of peace in
Cumberland."

"I hope when you come to the country you will make Woodbourne your
headquarters?"

"Certainly; I was afraid you were going to forbid me--but we must
go to breakfast now, or I shall be too late."

On the following day the new friends parted, And the Colonel
rejoined his family without any adventure worthy of being detailed
in these chapters.



CHAPTER XL.

  Can no rest find me, no private place secure me, But still
  my miseries like bloodhounds haunt me? Unfortunate young
  man, which way now guides thee, Guides thee from death? The
  country's laid around for thee.
    Women Pleased.

Our narrative now recalls us for a moment to the period when young
Hazlewood received his wound. That accident had no sooner
happened, than the consequences to Miss Mannering and to himself
rushed upon Brown's mind. From the manner in which the muzzle of
the piece was pointed when it went off, he had no great fear that
the consequences would be fatal. But an arrest in a strange
country, and while he was unprovided with any means of establishing
his rank and character, was at least to be avoided. He therefore
resolved to escape for the present to the neighbouring coast of
England, and to remain concealed there, if possible, until he
should receive letters from his regimental, friends, and
remittances from his agent; and then to resume his own character,
and offer to young Hazlewood and his friends any explanation or
satisfaction they might desire. With this purpose he walked stoutly
forward, after leaving the spot where the accident had happened,
and reached without adventure the village which we have called
Portanferry (but which the reader will in vain seek for under that
name in the county map). A large open boat was just about to leave
the quay, bound for the little seaport of Allonby, in Cumberland.
In this vessel Brown embarked, and resolved to make that place his
temporary abode, until he should receive letters and money from
England.

In the course of their short voyage he entered into some
conversation with the steersman, who was also owner of the boat, a
jolly old man, who had occasionally been engaged in the smuggling
trade, like most fishers on the coast. After talking about objects
of less interest, Brown endeavoured to turn the discourse toward
the Mannering family. The sailor had heard of the attack upon the
house at Woodbourne, but disapproved of the smugglers' proceedings.

"Hands off is fair play; zounds, they'll bring the whole country
down upon them--na, na! when I was in that way I played at
giff-gaff [*Give and take] with the officers--here a cargo
taen--vera weel, that was their luck;--there another carried
clean through, that was mine,--na, na! hawks shouldna pike out
hawks' een."

"And this Colonel Mannering?" said Brown.

"Troth, he's nae wise man neither, to interfere--no that I blame
him for saving the gaugers' lives--that was very right; but it
wasna like a gentleman to be fighting about the poor folk's pocks
o' tea and brandy kegs--however, he's a grand man and an officer
man, and they do what they like wi' the like o' us."

"And his daughter," said Brown, with a throbbing heart, "is going
to be married into a great family too, as I have heard?"

"What, into the Hazlewoods'?" said the pilot. "Na, na, that's but
idle clashes-every Sabbath day, as regularly as it came round, did
the young man ride hame wi' the daughter of the late
Ellangowan--and my daughter Peggy's in the service up at
Woodbourne, and she says she's sure young Hazlewood thinks nae mair
of Miss Mannering than you do."

Bitterly censuring his own precipitate adoption of a contrary
belief, Brown yet heard with delight that the suspicions of Julia's
fidelity, upon which he had so rashly acted, were probably void of
foundation. How must he in the meantime be suffering in her
opinion? or what could she suppose of conduct, which must have made
him appear to her regardless alike of her peace of mind, and of the
interests of their affection? The old man's connection with the
family at Woodbourne seemed to offer a safe mode of communication,
of which he determined to avail himself.

"Your daughter is a maid-servant at Woodbourne?--I knew Miss
Mannering in India, and though I am at present in an inferior rank
of life, I have great reason to hope she would interest herself in
my favour. I had a quarrel unfortunately with her father, who was
my commanding officer, and I am sure the young lady would
endeavour to reconcile him to me. Perhaps your daughter could
deliver a letter to her upon she subject, without making mischief
between her father and her?"

The old man, a friend to smuggling of every kind, readily answered
for the letter's being faithfully and secretly delivered; and,
accordingly, as soon as they arrived at Allonby, Brown wrote to
Miss Mannering, stating the utmost contrition for what had
happened through his rashness, and conjuring her to let him have an
opportunity of pleading his own cause, and obtaining forgiveness
for his indiscretion. He did not judge it safe to go into any
detail concerning the circumstances by which he had been misled,
and upon the whole endeavoured to express himself with such
ambiguity, that if the letter should fall into wrong hands, it
would be difficult either to understand its real purport, or to
trace the writer. This letter the old man undertook faithfully to
deliver to his daughter at Woodbourne:  and, as his trade would
speedily again bring him or his boat to Allonby, he promised
further to take charge of any answer with which the young lady
might entrust him.

And now our persecuted traveller landed at Allonby, and sought for
such. accommodations as might at once suit his temporary poverty,
and his desire of remaining as much unobserved as possible. With
this view he assumed the name and profession of his friend Dudley,
having command enough of the pencil to verify his pretended
character to his host of Allonby. His baggage he pretended to
expect front Wigton; and keeping himself as much within doors as
possible, awaited the return of the letters which he had sent to
his agent, to Delaserre, and to his Lieutenant-Colonel. From the
first he requested a supply of money; he conjured Delaserre, if
possible, to join him in Scotland; and from the Lieutenant-Colonel
he required such testimony of his rank and conduct in the regiment
as should place his character as a gentleman and officer beyond the
power of question. The inconvenience of being run short in his
finances struck him so strongly, that he wrote to Dinmont on that
subject, requesting a small temporary loan, having no doubt that,
being within sixty or seventy miles of his residence, he should
receive a speedy as well as favourable answer to his request of
pecuniary accommodation, which was owing, as he stated, to his
having been robbed after their parting. And then, with impatience
enough, though without any serious apprehension, he waited the
answers of these various letters.