Upton Sinclair

The Naturewoman
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THE NATUREWOMAN

by UPTON SINCLAIR




CHARACTERS


Oceana: the Naturewoman.
Mrs. Sophronia Masterson: of Beacon Street, Boston.
Quincy Masterson, M.D.: her husband.
Freddy Masterson: her son.
Ethel Masterson: her younger daughter.
Mrs. Letitia Selden: her elder daughter.
Henry Selden: Letitia's husband.
Remson: a butler.



                                ACT I
Drawing-room of the Masterson home; afternoon in winter.


                               ACT II
The same; the next afternoon.


                               ACT III
A portion of the parlor, as a stage; the same evening.

                               ACT IV
Henry Selden's camp in the White Mountains; afternoon, a week later.




THE NATUREWOMAN




ACT I



[Scene shows a luxuriously furnished drawing-room. Double doors,
centre, opening to hall and stairway. Grand piano at right, fireplace
next to it, with large easy-chair in front. Centre table; windows
left, and chairs.]

[At rise: ETHEL standing by table; a beautiful but rather frail girl
of sixteen; opening a package containing photograph in frame.]


ETHEL. Oceana! Oceana! [She gazes at it in rapture.] Oh, I wonder if
she'll be as good as she is beautiful! She must be! Oceana! [To
REMSON, an old, white- haired family servant, who enters with flowers
in vase.] No message from my brother yet?

REMSON. Nothing, Miss Ethel.

ETHEL. Look at this, Remson.

REMSON. [Takes photograph.] Is that your cousin, Miss Ethel?

ETHEL. That's she. Isn't she lovely?

REMSON. Yes, miss. Is that the way they dress in those parts?

ETHEL. The natives don't even wear that much, Remson.

REMSON. It must be right warm there, I fancy.

ETHEL. Oh, yes . . . they never know what cold weather is.

REMSON. What is the name of it, Miss Ethel?

ETHEL. Maukuri - it's in the South Seas.

REMSON. It seems like I've heard of cannibals in those parts,
somewhere.

ETHEL, Yes, in some of the groups. But this is just one little island
by itself . . . nothing else for a hundred miles and more.

REMSON. And she's lived there all this time, Miss Ethel?

ETHEL. Fifteen years, Remson.

REMSON. And no folks at all there?

ETHEL. Not since her father died.

REMSON. [Shakes his head.] Humph! She'd ought to be glad to get home,
Miss Ethel.

ETHEL. She didn't seem to feel that way. [Takes book and seats herself
by fireplace.] But we'll try to make her change her mind. Just think
of it . . . she's been forty-six days on the steamer!

REMSON. Can it be possible, miss?

ETHEL. Wasn't that the street door just now, Remson?

REMSON. I thought so, Miss Ethel. [Moves to door.] Oh! Mrs. Masterson.

MRS. MASTERSON. [In doorway; a Boston Brahman, aged fifty, wearing
street costume, black.] Any news yet, Remson?

REMSON. None, madam.

MRS. MASTERSON. Master Frederick is at the dock?

REMSON. Yes, madam.

DR. MASTERSON. [Enters; slightly younger than his wife, a dapper
little man, bald and henpecked.] No news from the steamer, my dear?

MRS. MASTERSON. None.

REMSON. Anything further, madam?

MRS. MASTERSON. Nothing.

[Exit REMSON.]

DR. MASTERSON. It'll be too bad if Oceana has to spend this evening on
the steamer.

MRS. MASTERSON. Have you taken to calling her by that ridiculous name
also?

DR. MASTERSON. Surely she has a right to select her name!

MRS. MASTERSON. I was present when she was christened; and so were
you, Quincy. For ME she will remain Anna Talbot until the day she
dies.

DR. MASTERSON. Anna or Oceana . . . there's not much difference, it
seems. [Takes paper and sits by window; they do not see ETHEL.]
Weren't Letitia and Henry to be here?

MRS. MASTERSON. Letitia was . . . but she's never on time. There's the
bell now. [Looks at photograph.] Humph! So Ethel's had it framed! I
declare . . . people ought not to be shown a photograph like that . .
. it's not decent.

DR. MASTERSON. My dear! It's the South Sea Islands!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Severely.] This is Back Bay. Oh! Letitia!

LETITIA. [Enters; aged about twenty-eight, prim and decorous,
Patterned after her mother; black street costume, with furs.] No news
from the steamer, it seems! Dear me, such weather!

MRS. MASTERSON. You didn't walk, I hope?

LETITIA. No, but even getting into the stores! I'm exhausted.

DR. MASTERSON. [Looking from paper.] Henry coming?

LETITIA. He said he might drop in. He's curious to see the lady.

DR. MASTERSON. Humph! No doubt!

LETITIA. Mother, I wish you'd try to do something with Henry. He's so
restless and discontented . . . he's getting to be simply impossible.

MRS. MASTERSON. I'm going to talk to him to-day, my dear.

LETITIA. Fancy my going out and burying myself in the country! And he
means it . . . he's at me all the time about it!

MRS. MASTERSON. Well, don't go, my dear!

LETITIA. Don't worry yourself . . . I've not the least intention of
going. Such things as we modern women have to endure! Only fancy, he's
got an idea he wants to be where he can work with his hands!

MRS. MASTERSON. Henry ought to have discovered these yearnings before
he married one of the Mastersons. As my daughter, you have certain
social obligations to fill . . . your friends have a claim upon you,
quite as much as your husband.

LETITIA. He says he wants to take the bungalow and make it over . . .
wants to plan it and work at it himself. And with me and the children
sitting out on the mountain-top in the snow until he finishes, I
suppose!

MRS. MASTERSON. Quincy, do you know anything about this whim of
Henry's for a day-laborer's life?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear, Henry's a big, active man, and he wants
something to do.

MRS. MASTERSON. But hasn't he his business?

DR. MASTERSON. I dare say there are things more thrilling to a man
than commercial law-cases. And Henry's been thinking for himself . . .
he says the law's a cheat.

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes, I know . . . I've heard all that. And here we
are, just at this critical moment, when the girl is coming, and when
he ought to be advising us about that will.

DR. MASTERSON. It seems to me, my dear, you've managed to choose your
course without his aid. [A pause.] I hope we shan't have to get into
any quarrel with Oceana.

MRS. MASTERSON. We shall not if _I_ can help it, Quincy.

LETITIA. We simply intend to be firm, father.

MRS. MASTERSON. We intend to make it clear that we are going to stand
by our legal rights. With no hard feelings for her personally . . .

ETHEL. [Rising from chair.] Mother!

MRS. MASTERSON. Ethel!

ETHEL. Mother, this has gone just as far as it can go! I've felt all
along that something like this was preparing.

MRS. MASTERSON. My dear . . .

ETHEL. Mother, this concerns me as much as it concerns any one of you.
And I tell you, you have simply got to let me know about that will.

MRS. MASTERSON. My dear . . .

ETHEL. Do I understand that it is your intention to threaten to go to
law, unless Oceana gives us a part of grandfather's property?

MRS. MASTERSON. Ethel, I refuse . . .

DR. MASTERSON. You might as well tell the child, Sophronia. It's
perfectly certain, Ethel, that your grandfather was not of sound mind
when he made the will.

ETHEL. It's perfectly certain that he hated you and mother and Aunt
Letitia and me and Freddy . . . every one of us; and that he had hated
us for years and years; and that he left his money to Oceana to spite
us all.

MRS. MASTERSON. That's precisely it, Ethel . . .

ETHEL. And I, for one, knowing that he hated me, don't want his money.
And what is more, I refuse to touch his money.

DR. MASTERSON. Not being of age, my dear, you can't . . .

ETHEL. I am near enough of age to possess my self-respect. And I shall
refuse to touch one penny.

DR. MASTERSON. My child, there are a good many pennies in a half
million dollars.

MRS. MASTERSON. And when you are of age, Ethel, you'll appreciate . .

ETHEL. I shall be of age two years from now, and then I shall return
to Oceana every penny of grandfather's money that may have been gotten
for me.

LETITIA. Ethel!

MRS. MASTERSON. It seems to me this is a strange way for a young girl
to be speaking to her parents!

ETHEL. I can't help it, mother. I am meek and patient . . . I try to
let you have your way with me in everything. But this is a matter of
principle, and I can't let myself be sat on.

MRS. MASTERSON. Sat on! Is that your view of your mother's attitude
towards you?

ETHEL. You know, perfectly well, mother; that it's impossible for
anybody to preserve any individuality in contact with you . . . that
as a matter of fact, neither father nor Letitia nor Freddy nor myself
have preserved a shred of it. Grandfather said that to you himself,
the last time you ever saw him . . . I know it, for I've heard father
say it a hundred times.

DR. MASTERSON. Well!

MRS. MASTERSON. It seems to me there's more than a trace of
individuality in this present outburst, Ethel.

ETHEL. Yes, but it's the first time, mother.

LETITIA. Some one is coming. [Turns to door.] Oh! Henry!

HENRY. [Enters; a handsome, powerfully-built man; smooth shaven,
immaculate, reserved in manner.] Well, has the sea-witch arrived?

MRS. MASTERSON. Not yet.

DR. MASTERSON. Freddy's gone to meet her with the limousine.

HENRY. I see. And the steamer?

MRS. MASTERSON. It was to have docked two hours ago.

HENRY. Well, that means that I won't see her till tomorrow evening.
I've got to run down to Providence to-night.

LETITIA. What's the matter?

HENRY. Nothing important . . . just a business matter that requires my
presence. Make my apologies; and goodbye, my dear.

[Kisses LETITIA.]

LETITIA. Henry, I wish you'd wait a moment.

HENRY. What for, my dear?

LETITIA. Mother has something to say . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. I want to talk to you about this idea of going to the
country in the winter-time.

HENRY. Oh! There's no use talking about that, Mrs. Masterson. I see I
can't have my way, so there's no more to be said. I'm not the sort of
man to sulk.

MRS. MASTERSON. But such an idea, Henry! For a delicate woman like
Letitia . . .

HENRY. I know . . . I know. I'd have taken care of her . . . but that
doesn't interest her. And, of course, I can't take the children away
from her, and there's not much fun in the country alone. So what's the
use? I give up . . . as I give up everything. Good-bye, all.

[Exit.]

LETITIA. I declare - such a trial! A husband who's lost his interest
in life!

MRS. MASTERSON. It's that new cook of yours, Letitia.

LETITIA. Every cook is worse.

MRS. MASTERSON. What he needs is some liver-pills. Quincy, you should
attend to it! [Rises.] Well, I'm going upstairs. You'll stay to
dinner, Letitia?

LETITIA. Yes, I want to lie down for a while.

DR. MASTERSON. And I'll beat myself a game of billiards.

[Exit With LETITIA and MRS. MASTERSON.]

ETHEL. [Drops her book to floor, springs up and paces the room.] Oh!
If only I might change places with Oceana! If I could get away to some
South Sea island, and be my own mistress and live my own life. [Takes
photograph.] Oceana! I'm wild to see you! I want to see you dancing.
Your Sunrise Dance . . . and to your own music! [Begins to hum the
Sunrise Dance.] Oceana! Oceana!

[A step in the hall, she turns.]

FREDDY. [Enters briskly; a college boy, about twenty-one, overgrown,
narrow- chested, good-natured and slangy.] Ethel!

ETHEL. [Starts.] Freddy! Where's Oceana?

FREDDY. She won't get here till morning.

ETHEL. Oh, Freddy!

FREDDY. They can't dock the steamer to-night . . . there's some tangle
at the pier.

ETHEL. Did you go and see?

FREDDY. I telephoned about it. I didn't want to wait in this blizzard.

ETHEL. I'm so sorry!

FREDDY. Me, too. But there's no help for it.

ETHEL. So long as she doesn't miss to-morrow night! Did I read you
what she said about that, Freddy? [Takes letter from pocket.] "I'll
pray for fair weather, so that I may get there to see the beautiful
dancing. There is nothing in all the world that I love more . . . my
whole being seems to flow into the dance. I send you the music of my
Sunrise Dance, that father composed for me. You can learn it, and I'll
do it for you. I don't know, of course; but father used to think that
I was wonderful in it . . and he had known all the great dances in
Europe. It was the last thing I heard him play, before he went out in
the boat, and I saw him perish before my eyes." Don't you think that
she writes beautifully, Freddy?

FREDDY. Yes; it's surprising.

ETHEL, Oh, yes. Her father was an extraordinary man, Henry says . . .
a musician and a poet. They had books and everything, apparently.
You'd think she's been living in Europe.

FREDDY. I see.

ETHEL. Listen to this: [Reads.] "About my name . . . I forgot to
explain. You see, Anna sounds like England . . . or New England . . .
and I am not the least like those places. Father used to see me, as a
little tot, diving through the breakers, and floating out in the sea,
with the snow-white frigate- birds flashing by overhead; and he said I
was the very spirit of the island and the wild, lonely ocean. So he
called me Oceana, and that's the name I've always borne."

FREDDY. It just fits my idea of her.

ETHEL. She goes on: "You mustn't be surprised at what I am. You may
think it's dreadful . . . even wicked. But at least don't expect
anything like you've ever known before. Fifteen years with only cocoa-
palms and naked savages . . . the Boston varnish rubs off one. But I'm
going to try to behave. I expect to feel quite at home . . . I have
pictures of all of you, and a picture of the house . . . I even have
father's keys, to let myself in with!"

FREDDY. Can you play her music, Ethel?

ETHEL. Play it? I could play it in my sleep. [Opens piano.] The
Sunrise Dance! [She sits and plays.] Listen!

[She plunges into the ecstatic part of the music. FREDDY leans by the
piano, watching her; she plays, more and more enthralled. The door
opens softly.]

[OCEANA enters; a girl of twenty-two, superbly formed, dark-skinned, a
picture of glowing health. She is clad in a short skirt and a rough
sailor's reefer with cap to match; underneath this a knitted garment,
tight-fitting and soft - no corsets. She carries two extremely heavy
suitcases, and with no apparent effort. She sets these down and stands
listening to the music, completely absorbed in it. There is the
faintest suggestion of the Sunrise Dance in her attitude.

[OCEANA is trusting, and yet with power of reserve. Throughout the
action, however vehemently she speaks, she seldom really grows angry;
she does not take the game seriously enough. On the other hand her
enjoyment, however keen, never becomes boisterous. Her actions proceed
from a continual overflow of animal health. She is like a little
child, in that she cannot remain physically still for very long at a
time; she moves about the room like an animal in a cage. Her speech
proceeds from an overwhelming interest in the truth, regardless of all
personality. She never conceals anything, and she never represses
anything.]

ETHEL. [Finishes the music, then turns, and leaps up.] Oceana!

FREDDY. [Turns.] Oceana!

OCEANA. Ethel! [Embraces her.] Oh, my dear! How glad I am to see you!

ETHEL. Oceana! But how did you get here?

OCEANA. I came on the steamer.

FREDDY. But it isn't docked

OCEANA. They took us to another dock.

ETHEL. [Holds her at arm's length.] Oh, how fine you are!

OCEANA. And you--you can play my father's music! I'm so glad!

ETHEL. You liked the way I played it?

OCEANA. I liked it! And so I know I shall like you! And I'm so happy
about it--I wanted to like you!

ETHEL. But how big you are!

OCEANA. [Laughing.] Oh, that's the clothes. I got them in Rio. They're
queer, I guess, but I only had a couple of hours. And this is Freddy!
[They shake hands.] It's so good to be here!

FREDDY. How did you get from the dock?

OCEANA. I walked.

ETHEL. Walked all the way?

OCEANA. Of course . . . I enjoyed it.

ETHEL. But in the storm!

OCEANA. I didn't mind that. It's all new to me, you see. My dear,
think of it . . . I've never seen snow before. I was fairly crazy.

[She pulls off the coat and throws it on one of the suitcases.]

ETHEL. I must tell mother. And Letitia! [Opens door arid calls.]
Mother! Letitia! Oceana's here!

FREDDY. [Stoops to pick up the suitcases.] Why . . .

OCEANA. What is it?

FREDDY. [He moves them against the wall with a great effort.] You
don't mean you CARRIED those!

OCEANA. Why, yes.

FREDDY. From the docks?

OCEANA. [Laughs.] Oh, dear me! I didn't mind that.

FREDDY. Well . . . I'll be blowed!

[He has fallen head over heels in love with her, and whenever he is in
her presence he follows her about with his eyes, like one bewitched.]

OCEANA. You aren't strong as you ought to be! You stay too much in the
house!

ETHEL. Here's mother!

OCEANA. Aunt Sophronia!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Enters.] My dear Anna! [Kisses her upon the cheek.] I
am delighted to see you safe.

ETHEL. And Letitia!

OCEANA. Cousin Letitia!

LETITIA. [Enters.] My dear cousin! So glad you are here!

OCEANA. [Looking from one to the other, as they eye her critically.]
Oh, are you really glad to see me? You must be, you know . . . for
I've come so far. And you've no idea how homesick I've been.

MRS. MASTERSON. Homesick, my dear? For that wild place you left?

OCEANA. But Aunt Sophronia, that's my home! And it's God's own dream
of beauty!

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes, my dear . . . I dare say . . .

OCEANA. Ah, you've never been there, or you wouldn't feel that way!
Picture it as it is at this moment . . . the broad white beach . . .
the sun setting and the clouds aflame . . . the great green breakers
rolling in . . . the frigate- birds calling . . . the palm trees
rustling in the wind! And you don't have to wrap yourself up in
clothes . . . you don't have to shut yourself up in houses! You plunge
through the surf, you dance upon the beach . . . naked . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. [Aghast.] My dear girl!

OCEANA. Oh, oh! That's so! I beg your pardon!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Coldly.] It will take you, a little while to get used
to civilized ways . . .

OCEANA. Oh, no, no, no! I know about that . . . I know how it is.
Father told me about Boston.

MRS. MASTERSON. My dear . . .

OCEANA. Don't worry about me. I'm really going to try to behave myself
. . . in every way. I want to get the right sort of clothes, you know.
I couldn't get them on my trip . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. It's just as well, my dear. You'd best have us attend
to that. You will need mourning for quite a while, you understand.

OCEANA. Mourning!

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes . . . for your grandfather.

OCEANA. But, my dear Aunt Sophronia, I couldn't possibly wear
mourning! No, no! I couldn't do that!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Astonished.] Why not?

OCEANA. In the first place, I never mourn.

MRS. MASTERSON. But your own grandfather, my dear!

OCEANA. But I never knew him. Aunt Sophronia . . . I never saw him in
my life!

MRS. MASTERSON. Even so, my dear! Hasn't he left you all his fortune?

OCEANA. But am I supposed to mourn over that? Why, I'd naturally be
happy about that!

LETITIA. Oceana!

OCEANA. But surely . . wouldn't you be happy about it?

MRS. MASTERSON. My child, one is not supposed to set so much store by
mere money . . .

OCEANA. But Aunt Sophronia, money is power! And isn't anybody glad to
have power? What else did I come here for?

MRS. MASTERSON. I had hoped you had come home for some other things .
. . to see your relatives, for instance.

ETHEL. Here's father!

OCEANA. Uncle Quincy!

DR. MASTERSON. [Enters.] My dear girl! You have come! [Embraces her.]
Why, what a picture you are! A very storm from the tropics ! My dear
Oceana!

OCEANA. I'm so glad to get here.

DR. MASTERSON. Yes, indeed! I can believe it! And a strange experience
it must have been . . . your first plunge into civilization!

OCEANA. Yes, Uncle Quincy! It's been horrible!

DR. MASTERSON. Horrible, my dear? In what way?

OCEANA. It's been almost too much for me. Really . . . I could
understand how it might feel to be sick!

DR. MASTERSON. Why, what did you see?

OCEANA. Everything! It rushed over me, all at once! The people . . .
their dreadful faces! And such noises and odors and sights!

DR. MASTERSON. I hadn't realized . . .

OCEANA. And then the saloons! Rows and rows of them! It is ghastly!

LETITIA. My dear cousin, mother and I contribute regularly to a
temperance society.

OCEANA. But that hasn't helped, has it? I'm almost wild about such
things--they were the real reason I came home, you know.

MRS. MASTERSON. How do you mean?

OCEANA. They had got to my island! They are turning it into a hell!

DR. MASTERSON. In what way?

OCEANA. Why, it's a long story. I didn't write . . . it would have
taken too long. Two years ago there was a ship laid up . . . and the
crew found, quite by accident, that our island rock is all phosphate;
something very valuable . . . for fertilizer, it seems. So they bought
land from the natives, and now there's a company, and a trading-post,
and all that. And oh, my people are going all to pieces!

MRS. MASTERSON. The natives, you mean?

OCEANA. Yes . . . the people I have loved all my life. And I've tried
so hard . . . I've pleaded with them, I've wept and prayed with them!
But they're lost!

LETITIA. You mean rum?

OCEANA. I mean everything. Rum, and cocaine, and sugar, and canned
food, and clothes, and missionaries . . . all civilization! And worse
yet, Aunt Sophronia . . . ah, I can't bear to think of it!

MRS. MASTERSON. What?

OCEANA. You wouldn't let me tell you what. [In a low voice.] Imagine
my people, my beautiful people, with the soft, brown skins and the big
black eyes, and hair like the curtains of night. They are not savages,
you understand . . . they are gentle and kindly. They ride the rushing
breakers in their frail canoes, they fish and gather fruits in the
forests, they dream in the soft, warm sunshine . . . they are happy,
they are care-free, their whole life is a song. And they are trusting,
hospitable . . . the wonderful white strangers come, and they take
them into their homes, and open their hearts to them. And the
strangers go away and leave them a ghastly disease, that rages like a
fire in their palm-thatched cabins, that sweeps through their villages
like a tornado. And the women's hair falls out . . . they wither up .
. . they're old hags in a year or two. And the babies . . . I've
helped bring them into the world . . . and they had no lips . . .
their noses were gone! They were idiots . . . blind . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. [Wildly.] Anna Talbot! I must beg you to have a little
discretion!

LETITIA. Why should we hear about these things, Oceana?

OCEANA. My dear, it comes from America. The ships came from here!
There was one of them I saw . . . "The Mary Jane, of Boston, Mass."

MRS. MASTERSON. No doubt, among such low men . . . men of vile life .
. . sailors . . .

OCEANA. No, Aunt Sophronia . . . you're mistaken! It's everywhere.
Isn't it, Uncle Quincy? You're a doctor . . . YOU must know!

DR. MASTERSON. Why, to tell the truth . . .

OCEANA. TELL the truth! Am I not right?

FREDDY. Of course you're right!

MRS. MASTERSON. Freddy!

OCEANA. Ah! You know!

MRS. MASTERSON. This is outrageous!

OCEANA. You mean you don't teach your children about it? Why . . .

[She stares at them, perplexed.]

MRS. MASTERSON. You don't understand our ways, Anna . . .

OCEANA. No, no . . . I don't. I don't think I ever can. You'd let some
man come and make love to Ethel . . . and you'd never warn her?

ETHEL. They warned me to turn my toes out when I walked, and not to
eat fish with a knife.

MRS. MASTERSON. If this conversation is to go on, I insist that the
children shall leave the room.

OCEANA. Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Aunt Sophronia! Why, I didn't mean any
harm. It's all so real to me. [She gazes from one to the other, hoping
for some sign of a thaw.] Just think . . . these were the people that
I'd loved . . . that I'd grown up with all my life. I'd fished in
their canoes, I'd hunted with them and basked on the beach with them.
I'd watched the young men and girls dancing their love-dances in the
moonlit glades . . . [She pauses again.] Oughtn't I to talk about
THAT?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear girl . . .

OCEANA. [Stares at them; a sudden idea occurs to her.] Perhaps I ought
to explain to you . . . you're no doubt wondering. I'm a virgin
myself, you know.

MRS. MASTERSON. [Starting up.] OH!

LETITIA. Oceana!

OCEANA. But weren't you thinking of that?

MRS. MASTERSON. Why, of course not!

OCEANA. But Aunt Sophronia! You know you were!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Sputters.] Oh! OH!

OCEANA. You were thinking to yourself, this girl's been playing around
on the beaches with savages . . . and what's been happening to her?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear niece, I'm afraid you'll have to take some
account of our civilized prejudices. We simply don't say everything
that we think.

OCEANA. [Springing up.] Oh, dear me! I'm so sorry ! I didn't mean to
make you unhappy! I was going to be so good. I was going to try to
conform to everything. Why, just think of it, Aunt Sophronia . . . in
Rio I actually bought a pair of corsets. And I tried to wear them. I .
. . Oceana! Around my waist! Think of it! [She looks for sympathy.] I
couldn't stand them . . . I climbed to the topmast and threw them to
the sharks. But now it seems that you all wear corsets on your minds
and souls. [A pause.] Never mind . . . let's talk about something
else. I'm getting restless. You see . . . I'm not used to being in a
room . . . it seems like a box to me . . . I can hardly breathe. The
air in here is dreadful . . . hadn't any of you noticed? [Silence.
Apparently nobody had.] Would you mind if I opened a window?

MRS. MASTERSON. It is storming outside, Anna.

OCEANA. Yes, but one can exercise and keep warm. just a minute . . .
please. [She flings up a window; a gale blows in.] Ah, feel that!

[MRS. MASTERSON, LETITIA and DR. MASTERSON draw away from the window.]

MRS. MASTERSON. This is simply outrageous!

LETITIA. It is beyond all words!

DR. MASTERSON. My dear, consider . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. I won't have that creature in my house a minute
longer.

DR. MASTERSON. My dear, be reasonable!

LETITIA. REASONABLE?

DR. MASTERSON. Consider what is at stake!

MRS. MASTERSON. But what hope have we to get anything out of such a
woman?

DR. MASTERSON. We have some hope, I'm sure. If we . . .

MRS. MASTERSON. Didn't you hear her say she'd come home for nothing
but the money?

DR. MASTERSON. Yes . . . but at least she's honest enough to say it,
Sophronia. And she's here as our guest . . . she wants to be friendly
. . . don't let it come to an open break with her!

LETITIA. But how can we HELP it, father?

DR. MASTERSON. It's just a matter of letting her talk. And what harm
will that do us?

MRS. MASTERSON. But we can't lock her up in the house. And can we
introduce her to our friends? Tomorrow night, for instance!

DR. MASTERSON. We must manage it somehow. When we've once had an
understanding with her, it won't take long to get the papers signed,
and after that we won't care. Control yourself, Sophronia, I implore
you! Don't let your prejudices ruin us!

ETHEL. [Steals to them, in agitation.] Mother, CAN'T you be good to
her? You don't understand her at all.

MRS. MASTERSON. [Coldly.] Thank you, Ethel . . .

ETHEL. [To FREDDY, who joins them.] Can't you say something to them,
Freddy? They treat her so badly.

FREDDY. They hate her, Ethel! They couldn't understand her.

[OCEANA takes deep breaths, expelling them in short, sharp puffs.]

LETITIA. What in the world are you doing?

OCEANA. That's one of the Yogi exercises. Haven't any of you studied
the Vedantas?

LETITIA. We are all Episcopalians here, Oceana.

OCEANA. Oh, I see!

[She takes a deep breath and then pounds her chest like a gorilla.]

MRS. MASTERSON. And pray, what is THAT?

OCEANA. I'm just getting some of the civilization out of my lungs.

[A furious gale blows.]

MRS. MASTERSON. Really, my dear, we shall have to leave the room.
We'll all catch our death of cold.

OCEANA. My dear Aunt Sophronia, nobody ever caught a cold from winter
air. Colds come from over-eating and bad ventilation. [She closes the
window.] However, there you are! [Eagerly.] Now, let's have something
beautiful - so that I can forget my blunders. Let's have some music.
Will you play for me, Cousin Letitia?

LETITIA. I don't play, my dear.

OCEANA. What? Why, father told me you played all the time!

LETITIA. That was before my marriage.

OCEANA. Oh, I see! [Laughs.] The music has accomplished its purpose!
[Stops, alarmed.] Oh! I've done it again! [Goes to LETITIA.] My dear
cousin, believe me, I meant no offense. I'm never personal. I was
simply formulating a principle of sociology!

MRS. MASTERSON. You have strange ways, my dear niece.

DR. MASTERSON. Are you always so direct, so ruthless?

OCEANA. That's the word, isn't it? That's what father taught me. Never
to think about personalities . . . to go after the truth! He used to
quote that saying of Nietzsche's: "To hunger after knowledge as the
lion for his food!"

MRS. MASTERSON. Oh, you read Nietzsche, do you? How could you get such
books?

OCEANA. We had a government steamer from New Zealand three times a
year, you know. That brought our mail.

MRS. MASTERSON. And your father permitted you to read these improper
things?

OCEANA. My father taught me to face the facts of my being. My father
was a fighter, you know.

MRS. MASTERSON. [Grimly.] Yes, I knew that.

OCEANA. Life had hurt him. Some day you must tell me about it . . .
what it was that happened to him here in Boston. He never would talk
about it, but I've often wondered. It must have been my mother. What
did she do to him before she died? [She pauses, expecting an answer.]
Was it that she was just conventional like you? [She pauses again.] It
must have been something dreadful . . . he felt so keenly about it. He
burned it into my very soul . . . his fear of civilization. And here I
am . . . right in the midst of it . . . I'm letting it get its claws
into me! I'm wearing its clothes . . . [She tears at them.] I'm
breathing its air! I don't believe I can stand it! [She paces the room
restlessly.] My soul is suffocating, as well as my body. I must have
something to remind me of the sky, and the open sea, and the great
spaces. I must go back again to my home, to my island! [Stretches out
her arms to them appealingly.] Ah, can't some of you understand about
it? Can't some of you take pity on me? It's so strange to me . . . so
different from everything I've been used to! Aunt Sophronia!

MRS. MASTERSON. [Takes a step reluctantly.] My dear!

ETHEL. [Springing forward.] No! No! They don't understand! They don't
really care.

MRS. MASTERSON. Ethel!

OCEANA. But you! Ethel!

ETHEL. [Rushes and flings herself at OCEANA'S feet, clutching her
dress.] Take me with you! Take me away to your island!

OCEANA. [Turning to FREDDY.] And you . . . won't you be my friend?

FREDDY. [Goes to her.] I will! [She holds out her hand to him; he
hesitates, gazing at her awe-stricken.] May I . . . may I take your
hand?

OCEANA. Why certainly!

FREDDY. [With fervor.] Oceana!

[CURTAIN]




ACT II


SCENE: Same as Act I.


[At rise: DR. MASTERSON in easy-chair near the window; opens
newspaper, sighs, wipes glasses, prepares to read.]


MRS. MASTERSON. [Enters with LETITIA.] Well!

DR. MASTERSON. Home, are you?

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes! And such a day!

LETITIA. Shopping with Oceana!

DR. MASTERSON. Humph!

MRS. MASTERSON. Imagine buying clothes for a woman who won't squeeze
her waist, and won't let her skirts touch the ground!

DR. MASTERSON. Why didn't you take her to the men's department?

LETITIA. Don't make a joke of it, father.

DR. MASTERSON. How did you make out?

MRS. MASTERSON. Well, we've got her so the police won't molest her.

LETITIA. We told Madame Clarice her trunks had been misplaced in the
steamer hold.

DR. MASTERSON. Ingenious!

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes! Only she spoiled it all by telling the truth!

DR. MASTERSON. Where is she now?

MRS. MASTERSON. She's walking . . . she says she must have exercise.

LETITIA. The air in the limousine is close, it seems,

DR. MASTERSON. You got something she could wear to-night?

MRS. MASTERSON. Oh, yes, that part's all right. If I could only have
selected the things she's going to SAY to-night!

[A pause.]

DR. MASTERSON. Well, and what are the signs?

MRS. MASTERSON. I don't know. I can't read her at all.

DR. MASTERSON. You haven't broached the subject yet?

MRS. MASTERSON. Not definitely. I've hinted at it. I said we were
worried about the future of Freddy and Ethel.

DR. MASTERSON. And what did she say to that?

MRS. MASTERSON. She said that she'd take care of them, if I'd let her.

DR. MASTERSON. Why . . . that's promising.

MRS. MASTERSON. So I thought . . . till I found she meant taking them
off to the South Seas!

DR. MASTERSON. Oh!

MRS. MASTERSON. I thought I'd wait till to-night . . . after the
dancing. You see, she'll have met some company, and I thought she
might be feeling more . . . more genial.

DR. MASTERSON. I understand. A good idea.

LETITIA. Miss Pilkington ought to put her in a good mood.

MRS. MASTERSON. She's passionately fond of fancy dancing, it seems.
And Ethel's been writing her about to-night, so she's quite excited
about it.

DR. MASTERSON. I see.

LETITIA. People are wildly jealous of us because we got Miss
Pilkington to come here. Everybody's talking about it.

MRS. MASTERSON. You haven't heard any criticisms, I hope?

LETITIA. Nothing that amounts to anything.

MRS. MASTERSON. I wish I could feel comfortable about it. It seems so
very daring. It's been only seven months since the funeral. To be sure
. . . father and I hadn't spoken for ten years.

DR. MASTERSON. And everybody knows the entertainment is for charity.

LETITIA. And we've only asked the very best people.

DR. MASTERSON. And the date was arranged over a year ago.

LETITIA. And it isn't as if we were going to dance ourselves, mother.
And then they are "Biblical Dances," too.

MRS. MASTERSON. I know - I know. But then, the world is so quick to
gossip. They might say we were doing it because he left his fortune to
a girl in the Cannibal Islands!

DR. MASTERSON. Perhaps it's just as well the girl's to be here.

MRS. MASTERSON. Yes, if we can keep her within bounds. I shall be on
pins and needles till it's over.

LETITIA. Such a white elephant in one's home!

MRS. MASTERSON. And then the way Freddy and Ethel are behaving!

LETITIA. Freddy wanted to stay from college and Ethel from her music
lesson - both of them to go and sit around in the stores while Oceana
bought clothes!

DR. MASTERSON. Well, of all things!

MRS. MASTERSON. I hardly know Ethel any more!

LETITIA. And Freddy sits around and stares at her like a man out of
his wits!

MRS. MASTERSON. That'll be the next thing, I suppose . . . she'll run
off and marry him!

DR. MASTERSON. Well, mightn't that be a good way to solve the problem?
To keep the money in the family?

MRS. MASTERSON. Ouincy!

LETITIA. Besides--she mightn't marry him.

MRS. MASTERSON. Letitia!

LETITIA. Why not, mother?

MRS. MASTERSON. I'm sure, my child, you have no reason for saying
anything like THAT.

LETITIA. I don't trust the minx!

[A pause.]

DR. MASTERSON. Has Henry got home?

LETITIA. He's probably there now.

MRS. MASTERSON. Is he coming here to dinner?

LETITIA. I'm not sure.

MRS. MASTERSON. You'd better take my advice and not let him.

LETITIA. Why not?

MRS. MASTERSON. Because, the first thing you know, we'll have Henry in
love with her, too.

LETITIA. [Horrified.] MOTHER!

MRS. MASTERSON. I mean it, my dear--quite seriously. What's the
meaning of all this discontent of Henry's? I know him well enough . .
. he's just the man to be taken in by the tricks of such a woman!
SHE'D give him plenty of outdoor exercise! SHE'D go live in the
country with him!

LETITIA. [Springing up.] Mother! How horrible!

MRS. MASTERSON. Forewarned is forearmed, Letitia. You listen to me,
and let Henry see just as little of Anna Talbot as you can. And when
he's with her, you be there, too.

LETITIA. [In great agitation.] I'll go home right now and see to him!

[Exit.]

DR. MASTERSON. [Sighs.] Oh, dear! And I was waiting for Henry to play
billiards with!

MRS. MASTERSON. You might get Anna to play billiards with you. No
doubt she's an expert.

[Exit right.]

[DR. MASTERSON sighs, shakes his head, and resumes reading.]

OCEANA. [Enters, radiant, clad in an ermine cloak.] Well, Uncle
Quincy!

DR. MASTERSON. Oceana! Bless me! How gorgeous!

OCEANA. [Takes it off and throws it on the chair.] It's really too
warm for walking.

DR. MASTERSON. I should have thought, coming from a tropical climate .
. .

OCEANA. Ah, but my blood circulates, you see. [Sits opposite him.]
Uncle Quincy, I want to have a talk with you.

DR. MASTERSON. Yes, my dear?

OCEANA. Uncle Quincy, why do you let Aunt Sophronia and Letitia
frighten you the way they do?

DR. MASTERSON. My dear girl!

OCEANA. Take yesterday afternoon, for instance - what I said about
syphilis. You know I was right, and yet you didn't dare say so.

DR. MASTERSON. Really, Oceana . . .

OCEANA. You are an educated man - a man of science. You know what
modern ideas are. And yet you consent to be walked all over!

DR. MASTERSON. My dear . . .

OCEANA. Here are these women . . . they have leisure and opportunity .
. . they ought to be doing some good in the world. And yet they
haven't an idea except to act as other people think they ought to act!

DR. MASTERSON. Dear me! Dear me!

[Rises and begins to pace the room.]

OCEANA. Don't run away from me.

DR. MASTERSON. I'm not running away. But you are so disconcerting,
Oceana . . .

OCEANA. I know; but that's only because you know that what I say is
true, and you don't like to feel that anybody else knows it.

FREDDY. [Off.] Oceana!

OCEANA. Freddy!

FREDDY. [Enters.] Oh! Father's here!

OCEANA. Yes; we were having a chat.

FREDDY. [Hesitates.] Father, will you excuse me, please . . . I have
something very important to say to Oceana. I've been waiting for her.

DR. MASTERSON. Why . . . what . . .

FREDDY. Don't ask me, please. I must have a talk with her right away.
Please come, Oceana.

OCEANA. All right.

DR. MASTERSON. I was going to the billiard-room, anyway. Pray excuse
me.

[Exit centre.]

OCEANA. [Smiles.] See him run! Well, Freddy, what is it?

FREDDY. [Intensely.] Oceana!

OCEANA. What's the matter?

FREDDY. You mustn't stay here!

OCEANA. Why not?

FREDDY. They'll ruin you, Oceana! They'll crush you, they'll spoil you
forever! You must go away!

OCEANA. Why, my dear boy, how can they hurt me?

FREDDY. They will, they will! I've been thinking about it all day! I
didn't go to college . . . I spent the whole day pacing the streets.

OCEANA. Why, Freddy!

FREDDY. And I want you to come away! Come away with me! I want you . .
. [Wildly.] . . . I want you to marry me!

OCEANA. [Aghast.] Why, Freddy!

FREDDY. Oh, I know it's a fool way . . . to blurt it out at you like
that. I thought up a hundred ways to say it to you. I had a fine
speech all by heart, but I can't remember a word of it. When I see you
I can't even think straight. I'm simply beside myself . . . I can't
rest, I can't sleep, I can't do anything. I used to laugh at such
ideas, but now I'm frightened at myself. Can't you understand me,
Oceana? Oceana . . . I love you!

OCEANA. [Whispers.] My poor boy!

FREDDY. I don't ask you to say yes . . . I just ask you to give me a
chance . . . a hope. If I thought I might win you, I'd do anything . .
. anything! I'd wait for you . . . I'd work for you . . . I'd worship
you! Oceana! [He stops.] May I . . . May I take your hand? [She does
not give it.] Ah, no! I have no right! Oceana, listen to me! I have
thought that I was in love before . . . but it was just childish, it
was nothing like this. This has been a revelation to me . . . it makes
all the world seem different to me. And just see how suddenly it's
come . . . why, yesterday I was a boy! Yesterday I thought some things
were interesting . . . and to-day I wonder how I could have cared
about them. Nothing seems the same to me. And it all happened at once,
it was like an explosion . . . the first instant I laid eyes on you I
knew that you were the one woman I could ever love. And I said to
myself, she will laugh at you.

[He hesitates.]

OCEANA. No, I won't laugh at you.

FREDDY. I tried to keep it to myself, but I couldn't . . . not if I
were to be hanged for it. I'm just . . . just torn out of myself. I'm
trembling with delight, and then I'm plunged into despair, and then I
stop to think and I'm terrified. For I don't know what I can do.
Everything in my life is gone -- I won't know how to live if you send
me away.

OCEANA. [Gravely.] Freddy, come sit down here. Be rational now.

FREDDY. Yes.

[He sits watching her, in a kind of daze.]

OCEANA. In the first place, Freddy . . . you must understand, it isn't
the first time this has happened to me.

FREDDY. No, I suppose not.

OCEANA. The officers of the ships always used to fall in love with me.
There were three on this last steamer.

FREDDY. Yes.

OCEANA. You say to marry you. But it's difficult for me to imagine
myself marrying any man, no matter how much I loved him. One has to
make so many promises, you know.

FREDDY. How do you mean?

OCEANA. You have to "love, honor and obey."

FREDDY. But, Oceana! That's a mere form.

OCEANA. No, no. It's written in the laws. All kinds of things . . .
people don't realize it.

FREDDY. But surely . . . if you love a man . . . a decent man . . .

OCEANA. No decent man ought to ask a woman to sign away her self-
respect.

FREDDY. [Bewildered.] But then . . . then . . . what would you do?

OCEANA. [Watches him, then laughs to herself.] Boston is such a funny
place!

FREDDY. Hey?

OCEANA. Let us leave marriage out now . . . let us talk of love.
Realize how much more serious it is to a woman than it is to a man. A
man meets a woman and he finds her beautiful, and his blood begins to
boil, and he says: "I adore you." And so she gives herself to him; and
then, the next morning, he goes off and forgets all about it.

FREDDY. No, no!

OCEANA. I don't say you, Freddy. But it's happened that way. The
woman, though . . . she doesn't forget. She carries a reminder. And
it's not only that she has the burden of the child . . . the anguish
of the birth . . . the task of suckling and rearing it. It's that she
has a miniature of the man with her all the rest of her days. She has
his soul there . . . blended with the thing she loves most of all in
the world. And so, don't you see how careful she has to be, how
desperately important the thing is to her? [She sits lost in thought.]
I have never been in love, Freddy, not the least little bit. I have
never felt that call in my blood. But some day I shall feel it; and
when I do, I shall take that man as if before a court of judgment. I
shall take him away with me. I shall ask myself not merely, "Is he
beautiful and strong of body?" but, "Is he beautiful and strong in
soul?" I would not ask that he be learned . . . he might not chance to
be a cultured man. But he would be a man of power, he would be a man
who could rule himself, he would be a soul without base alloy. And
when I had satisfied myself as to that, I would have found my mate. I
would say to him, "I wish you to be the father of my child." [She sits
again, brooding.] I would not exact pledges of him. I would say to
him, "I do not ask you to take care of me; I do not ask you to take
care of my child. You may go away when you wish . . . that rests with
you; but _I_ wish the child." [She pauses.] Do you see?

FREDDY. Yes, I see. [He gazes at her, frightened.] And you . . . you
do not feel that way about me?

OCEANA. Not the least little bit, Freddy.

FREDDY. And if I waited ever so long?

OCEANA. I do not believe that I should ever feel it, [She puts her
hand upon his arm.] My dear, dear boy! Learn to look at it as I do.
Face it like a man. It is one of those things that we cannot help . .
. that we do not even understand. It is the chemistry of sex; it is
Nature's voice speaking to us. It means no disgrace to you that I do
not love you . . . it means no inferiority, no defeat. It is the
signal that Nature gives us, that we wait for, and dare not disregard.
You dare not ask me to disregard it! [He is gazing into her eyes like
one entranced.] You must let me teach you . . . you must let me help
you. You must not let this mean misery and despair. Take hold of
yourself. Perhaps you and Ethel can go back with me to my island . . .
for I think that I am going. [He continues to gaze at her, speechless
with admiration. She presses his arm.] Now promise me.

FREDDY. What?

OCEANA. That you will be a man.

[They gaze into each other's eyes.]

ETHEL. [Off.] Oceana!

OCEANA. Here is your sister. Let us not trouble her. [Aloud.] Ethel!

ETHEL. [Enters in street costume.] Oh, here you are! And your new
clothes!

OCEANA. Do you like me?

ETHEL. No, they don't belong to you!

OCEANA. [Laughs.] Well, I shan't wear them long.

ETHEL. What are you going to do?

OCEANA. I'm going to design some for myself.

ETHEL. What kind?

OCEANA. I don't know yet. But it'll be something that will leave my
legs outside.

ETHEL. And did you get something beautiful for tonight?

OCEANA. I got something that will do.

ETHEL. Oceana, when am I to see the dance?

OCEANA. I told you, when I have my costume.

ETHEL. But when will that be?

OCEANA. When my trunks have come.

FREDDY. They came this afternoon.

OCEANA. Oh! Then we'll have it to-morrow morning! And I'll show you my
beautiful bridal-robe.

FREDDY. Bridal-robe?

OCEANA. Yes. Didn't I tell you? It was made for me by one of our
King's sons. His name was Paukopi . . . that means, in our language,
"Child of the Sea Foam." And he was in love with me.

ETHEL. Oh!

OCEANA. He was very sad and went away by himself. But he was a man . .
. he did not go to pieces. [She looks at FREDDY.] He went into the
forest and spent his time hunting wild birds; and he gathered their
feathers and made them into this gorgeous robe . . . purple and gold
and green and scarlet. He brought it and laid it at my feet, and said
that it was my bridal-robe, that I must wear it at my feast.

ETHEL. Oh, how lovely!

FREDDY. [Rises and turns away in despair.] Oh!

ETHEL. Tell me a little about the Sunrise Dance.

OCEANA. It represents the worship of Nature. It portrays an awakening
from slumber . . . you know the soft part of the music at the
beginning . . .

ETHEL. Yes.

OCEANA. Then gradually I rise to my feet and gaze towards the light.
There is the sun shining upon the waves of the sea, and upon the palm
branches. All life is awakening and singing for joy . . . and so the
music rises to an ecstasy.

ETHEL. And do you dance other things?

OCEANA. Oh, yes - lots of things.

ETHEL. Oh, Oceana! I'm just wild to see you!

OCEANA. And I'm wild to dance. I must have some vent pretty soon. You
see, at home I was out of doors all the time. I hunted and fished, I
swam and dived, I danced on the beach. And here . . . why, I walk down
the street, and I daren't even so much as sing out loud. I have to
remember that I'm a young lady, and have an ermine cloak on! Truly, I
don't see how you ever stand it!

ETHEL. We were brought up that way.

OCEANA. Yes; and that's why you're undeveloped and frail. But tell me,
don't you ever have an impulse to play? That beautiful snow out there
- don't you want to tumble round in it and pelt each other with
snowballs?

FREDDY. We did that when we were children.

OCEANA. Yes, that's the way. But I, you see . . . I'm a child still;
and I expect to be always.

ETHEL. And are you always happy, Oceana?

OCEANA. Always.

ETHEL. You never . . . you never even start to feel sad?

OCEANA. Why yes, now and then. But I don't permit such moods. You see,
I have the conviction that there is nothing beautiful or right about
sorrow - never, under any circumstances.

ETHEL. You mean you would not mourn, even if some one you loved were
to die?

OCEANA. I mean that I did not. [She pauses.] Yes, exactly . . . my
father. He had been my life's companion, and they brought him home
drowned; and yet I did not mourn.

ETHEL. Oceana!

OCEANA. I had trained myself . . . for just that. We had made
ourselves what you might call soul-exercises; little ceremonies to
remind ourselves of things we wished to hold by. The Sunrise Dance was
one of those. And then, on the last day of each month, at sunset, we
would sit and watch the shadows fade, and contemplate death. [She
pauses, gravely.] We would say to ourselves that we, too, were shadows
. . . rainbows in the sea-mist; that we held our life as a gift . . .
we carried it in our hands, ready to give it up when we heard the
call. [A pause.]

HENRY. [Opens door centre and enters. Sees OCEANA and halts.] Oh!

OCEANA. [Turns and sees him.] Why! Here's a man! [They gaze at each
other, transfixed.] Ethel! Who is he?

ETHEL. Why, this is Henry. Letitia's husband.

OCEANA. Oh! Letitia's husband! [With a sudden, frank gesture, putting
out her hand.] Henry!

HENRY. Oceana!

[As their hands meet, they stand looking into each other's faces.]

OCEANA. [Gripping his hand tightly.] You are strong! [Looks at his
hand.] And you do not smoke, either! Let me see your eyes.

HENRY. [Perplexed.] My eyes?

OCEANA. Your eyes. [Turns him toward the light; studies his eyes.]
They dosed you with quinine! Malaria, I suppose?

HENRY. Why . . . yes. But how can you tell?

OCEANA. I can tell many things. Let me see your tongue.

HENRY. [Bewildered.] My tongue?

OCEANA. Your tongue.

HENRY. But what for?

OCEANA. I can tell more about a man by looking at his tongue for a
minute than by listening to it for a week.

HENRY. But, Oceana -

OCEANA. I am in earnest.

HENRY. [Laughs.] Why . . . really . . .

OCEANA. Are you afraid?

HENRY. Good heavens, no!

OCEANA. Put it out. [He pats his tongue out and she examines it.] So!
A man with a red tongue! And in a civilized city!

HENRY. Oughtn't it to be red?

OCEANA. And he doesn't know what it ought to be! How delicious! [She
steps back from him.] And so you are Letitia's husband. Tell me, are
you happy with her?
                
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