29. Lord Treasurer came to-night, as usual, at half an hour after eight, as
dark as pitch. I am weary of chiding him; so I commended him for observing
his friend's advice, and coming so early, etc. I was two hours with Lady
Oglethorpe[8] to-night, and then supped with Lord Treasurer, after dining at
the Green Cloth: I stayed till two; this is the effect of Lord Treasurer's
being here; I must sup with him; and he keeps cursed hours. Lord Keeper and
the Secretary were absent; they cannot sit up with him. This long sitting up
makes the periods in my letters so short. I design to stay here all the next
week, to be at leisure by myself, to finish something of weight I have upon my
hands, and which must soon be done. I shall then think of returning to
Ireland, if these people will let me; and I know nothing else they have for me
to do. I gave Dr. Arbuthnot my thanks for his kindness to Bernage, whose
commission is now signed. Methinks I long to know something of Stella's
health, how it continues after Wexford waters.
30. The Queen was not at chapel to-day, and all for the better, for we had a
dunce to preach: she has a little of the gout. I dined with my brother
Masham, and a moderate company, and would not go to Lord Treasurer's till
after supper at eleven o'clock, and pretended I had mistaken the hour; so I
ate nothing: and a little after twelve the company broke up, the Keeper and
Secretary refusing to stay; so I saved this night's debauch. Prior went away
yesterday with his Frenchmen, and a thousand reports are raised in this town.
Some said they knew one to be the Abbe de Polignac: others swore it was the
Abbe du Bois. The Whigs are in a rage about the peace; but we'll wherret[9]
them, I warrant, boys. Go, go, go to the Dean's and don't mind politics,
young women, they are not good after the waters; they are stark naught: they
strike up into the head. Go, get two black aces, and fish for a manilio.
Oct. 1. Sir John Walter,[10] an honest drunken fellow, is now in waiting, and
invited me to the Green Cloth to-day, that he might not be behindhand with
Colonel Godfrey, who is a Whig. I was engaged to the Mayor's feast with Mr.
Masham; but waiting to take leave of Lord Treasurer, I came too late, and so
returned sneaking to the Green Cloth, and did not see my Lord Treasurer
neither; but was resolved not to lose two dinners for him. I took leave to-
day of my friend and solicitor Lord Rivers, who is commanded by the Queen to
set out for Hanover on Thursday. The Secretary does not go to town till to-
morrow; he and I, and two friends more, drank a sober bottle of wine here at
home, and parted at twelve; he goes by seven to-morrow morning, so I shall not
see him. I have power over his cellar in his absence, and make little use of
it. Lord Dartmouth and my friend Lewis stay here this week; but I can never
work out a dinner from Dartmouth. Masham has promised to provide for me: I
squired his lady out of her chaise to-day, and must visit her in a day or two.
So you have had a long fit of the finest weather in the world; but I am every
day in pain that it will go off. I have done no business to-day; I am very
idle.
2. My friend Lewis and I, to avoid over much eating and great tables, dined
with honest Jemmy Eckershall,[11] Clerk of the Kitchen, now in waiting, and I
bespoke my dinner: but the cur had your acquaintance Lovet, the gentleman
porter, to be our company. Lovet, towards the end of dinner, after twenty
wrigglings, said he had the honour to see me formerly at Moor Park, and
thought he remembered my face. I said I thought I remembered him, and was
glad to see him, etc., and I escaped for that much, for he was very pert. It
has rained all this day, and I doubt our good weather is gone. I have been
very idle this afternoon, playing at twelvepenny picquet with Lewis: I won
seven shillings, which is the only money I won this year: I have not played
above four times, and I think always at Windsor. Cards are very dear: there
is a duty on them of sixpence a pack, which spoils small gamesters.
3. Mr. Masham sent this morning to desire I would ride out with him, the
weather growing again very fine. I was very busy, and sent my excuses; but
desired he would provide me a dinner. I dined with him, his lady, and her
sister, Mrs. Hill, who invites us to-morrow to dine with her, and we are to
ride out in the morning. I sat with Lady Oglethorpe till eight this evening,
then was going home to write; looked about for the woman that keeps the key of
the house: she told me Patrick had it. I cooled my heels in the cloisters
till nine, then went in to the music-meeting, where I had been often desired
to go; but was weary in half an hour of their fine stuff, and stole out so
privately that everybody saw me; and cooled my heels in the cloisters again
till after ten: then came in Patrick. I went up, shut the chamber door, and
gave him two or three swinging cuffs on the ear, and I have strained the thumb
of my left hand with pulling him, which I did not feel until he was gone. He
was plaguily afraid and humbled.
4. It was the finest day in the world, and we got out before eleven, a noble
caravan of us. The Duchess of Shrewsbury in her own chaise with one horse,
and Miss Touchet[12] with her, Mrs. Masham and Mrs. Scarborow, one of the
dressers, in one of the Queen's chaises; Miss Forester and Miss Scarborow,[13]
two maids of honour, and Mrs. Hill on horseback. The Duke of Shrewsbury, Mr.
Masham, George Fielding,[14] Arbuthnot, and I, on horseback too. Mrs. Hill's
horse was hired for Miss Scarborow, but she took it in civility; her own horse
was galled and could not be rid, but kicked and winced: the hired horse was
not worth eighteenpence. I borrowed coat, boots, and horse, and in short we
had all the difficulties, and more than we used to have in making a party from
Trim to Longfield's.[15] My coat was light camlet, faced with red velvet, and
silver buttons. We rode in the great park and the forest about a dozen miles,
and the Duchess and I had much conversation: we got home by two, and Mr.
Masham, his lady, Arbuthnot and I, dined with Mrs. Hill. Arbuthnot made us
all melancholy, by some symptoms of bloody u---e: he expects a cruel fit of
the stone in twelve hours; he says he is never mistaken, and he appears like a
man that was to be racked to-morrow. I cannot but hope it will not be so bad;
he is a perfectly honest man, and one I have much obligation to. It rained a
little this afternoon, and grew fair again. Lady Oglethorpe sent to speak to
me, and it was to let me know that Lady Rochester[16] desires she and I may be
better acquainted. 'Tis a little too late; for I am not now in love with Lady
Rochester: they shame me out of her, because she is old. Arbuthnot says he
hopes my strained thumb is not the gout; for he has often found people so
mistaken. I do not remember the particular thing that gave it me, only I had
it just after beating Patrick, and now it is better; so I believe he is
mistaken.
5. The Duchess of Shrewsbury sent to invite me to dinner; but I was abroad
last night when her servant came, and this morning I sent my excuses, because
I was engaged, which I was sorry for. Mrs. Forester taxed me yesterday about
the History of the Maids of Honour;[17] but I told her fairly it was no jest
of mine; for I found they did not relish it altogether well; and I have enough
already of a quarrel with that brute Sir John Walter, who has been railing at
me in all companies ever since I dined with him; that I abused the Queen's
meat and drink, and said nothing at the table was good, and all a d----d lie;
for after dinner, commending the wine, I said I thought it was something
small. You would wonder how all my friends laugh at this quarrel. It will be
such a jest for the Keeper, Treasurer, and Secretary.--I dined with honest
Colonel Godfrey, took a good walk of an hour on the terrace, and then came up
to study; but it grows bloody cold, and I have no waistcoat here.
6. I never dined with the chaplains till to-day; but my friend Gastrell and
the Dean of Rochester[18] had often invited me, and I happened to be
disengaged: it is the worst provided table at Court. We ate on pewter:
every chaplain, when he is made a dean, gives a piece of plate, and so they
have got a little, some of it very old. One who was made Dean of Peterborough
(a small deanery) said he would give no plate; he was only Dean of
Pewterborough. The news of Mr. Hill's miscarriage in his expedition[19] came
to-day, and I went to visit Mrs. Masham and Mrs. Hill, his two sisters, to
condole with them. I advised them by all means to go to the music-meeting to-
night, to show they were not cast down, etc., and they thought my advice was
right, and went. I doubt Mr. Hill and his admiral made wrong steps; however,
we lay it all to a storm, etc. I sat with the Secretary at supper; then we
both went to Lord Treasurer's supper, and sat till twelve. The Secretary is
much mortified about Hill, because this expedition was of his contriving, and
he counted much upon it; but Lord Treasurer was just as merry as usual, and
old laughing at Sir John Walter and me falling out. I said nothing grieved me
but that they would take example, and perhaps presume upon it, and get out of
my government; but that I thought I was not obliged to govern bears, though I
governed men. They promise to be as obedient as ever, and so we laughed; and
so I go to bed; for it is colder still, and you have a fire now, and are at
cards at home.
7. Lord Harley and I dined privately to-day with Mrs. Masham and Mrs. Hill,
and my brother Masham. I saw Lord Halifax at Court, and we joined and talked;
and the Duchess of Shrewsbury came up and reproached me for not dining with
her. I said that was not so soon done, for I expected more advances from
ladies, especially duchesses: she promised to comply with any demands I
pleased; and I agreed to dine with her to-morrow, if I did not go to London
too soon, as I believe I shall before dinner. Lady Oglethorpe brought me and
the Duchess of Hamilton[20] together to-day in the drawing-room, and I have
given her some encouragement, but not much. Everybody has been teasing
Walter. He told Lord Treasurer that he took his company from him that were to
dine with him: my lord said, "I will send you Dr. Swift:" Lord Keeper bid
him take care what he did; "for," said he, "Dr. Swift is not only all our
favourite, but our governor." The old company supped with Lord Treasurer, and
got away by twelve.
London, 8. I believe I shall go no more to Windsor, for we expect the Queen
will come in ten days to Hampton Court. It was frost last night, and cruel
cold to-day. I could not dine with the Duchess, for I left Windsor half an
hour after one with Lord Treasurer, and we called at Kensington, where Mrs.
Masham was got to see her children for two days. I dined, or rather supped,
with Lord Treasurer, and stayed till after ten. Tisdall[21] and his family
are gone from hence, upon some wrangle with the family. Yesterday I had two
letters brought me to Mr. Masham's; one from Ford, and t'other from our little
MD, N.21. I would not tell you till to-day, because I would not. I won't
answer it till the next, because I have slipped two days by being at Windsor,
which I must recover here. Well, sirrahs, I must go to sleep. The roads were
as dry as at midsummer to-day. This letter shall go to-morrow.
9. Morning. It rains hard this morning. I suppose our fair weather is now
at an end. I think I'll put on my waistcoat to-day: shall I? Well, I will
then, to please MD. I think of dining at home to-day upon a chop and a pot.
The town continues yet very thin. Lord Strafford is gone to Holland, to tell
them what we have done here toward a peace. We shall soon hear what the Dutch
say, and how they take it. My humble service to Mrs. Walls, Mrs. Stoyte, and
Catherine.--Morrow, dearest sirrahs, and farewell; and God Almighty bless MD,
poor little dear MD, for so I mean, and Presto too. I'll write to you again
to-night, that is, I'll begin my next letter. Farewell, etc.
This little bit belongs to MD; we must always write on the margin:[22] you
are saucy rogues.
LETTER 32.
LONDON, Oct. 9, 1711.
I was forced to lie down at twelve to-day, and mend my night's sleep: I slept
till after two, and then sent for a bit of mutton and pot of ale from the next
cook's shop, and had no stomach. I went out at four, and called to see Biddy
Floyd, which I had not done these three months: she is something marked, but
has recovered her complexion quite, and looks very well. Then I sat the
evening with Mrs. Vanhomrigh, and drank coffee, and ate an egg. I likewise
took a new lodging to-day, not liking a ground-floor, nor the ill smell, and
other circumstances. I lodge, or shall lodge, by Leicester Fields, and pay
ten shillings a week; that won't hold out long, faith. I shall lie here but
one night more. It rained terribly till one o'clock to-day. I lie, for I
shall lie here two nights, till Thursday, and then remove. Did I tell you
that my friend Mrs. Barton has a brother[1] drowned, that went on the
expedition with Jack Hill? He was a lieutenant-colonel, and a coxcomb; and
she keeps her chamber in form, and the servants say she receives no messages.-
-Answer MD's letter, Presto, d'ye hear? No, says Presto, I won't yet, I'm
busy; you're a saucy rogue. Who talks?
10. It cost me two shillings in coach-hire to dine in the City with a
printer. I have sent, and caused to be sent, three pamphlets out in a
fortnight. I will ply the rogues warm; and whenever anything of theirs makes
a noise, it shall have an answer. I have instructed an under spur-leather to
write so, that it is taken for mine. A rogue that writes a newspaper, called
The Protestant Postboy, has reflected on me in one of his papers; but the
Secretary has taken him up, and he shall have a squeeze extraordinary. He
says that an ambitious tantivy,[2] missing of his towering hopes of preferment
in Ireland, is come over to vent his spleen on the late Ministry, etc. I'll
tantivy him with a vengeance. I sat the evening at home, and am very busy,
and can hardly find time to write, unless it were to MD. I am in furious
haste.
11. I dined to-day with Lord Treasurer. Thursdays are now his days when his
choice company comes, but we are too much multiplied. George Granville sent
his excuses upon being ill; I hear he apprehends the apoplexy, which would
grieve me much. Lord Treasurer calls Prior nothing but Monsieur Baudrier,
which was the feigned name of the Frenchman that writ his Journey to Paris.[3]
They pretend to suspect me, so I talk freely of it, and put them out of their
play. Lord Treasurer calls me now Dr. Martin, because martin[4] is a sort of
a swallow, and so is a swift. When he and I came last Monday from Windsor, we
were reading all the signs on the road.[5] He is a pure trifler; tell the
Bishop of Clogher so. I made him make two lines in verse for the Bell and
Dragon, and they were rare bad ones. I suppose Dilly is with you by this
time: what could his reason be of leaving London, and not owning it? 'Twas
plaguy silly. I believe his natural inconstancy made him weary. I think he
is the king of inconstancy. I stayed with Lord Treasurer till ten; we had
five lords and three commoners. Go to ombre, sirrahs.
12. Mrs. Vanhomrigh has changed her lodging as well as I. She found she had
got with a bawd, and removed. I dined with her to-day; for though she boards,
her landlady does not dine with her. I am grown a mighty lover of herrings;
but they are much smaller here than with you. In the afternoon I visited an
old major-general, and ate six oysters; then sat an hour with Mrs.
Colledge,[6] the joiner's daughter that was hanged; it was the joiner was
hanged, and not his daughter; with Thompson's wife, a magistrate. There was
the famous Mrs. Floyd of Chester, who, I think, is the handsomest woman
(except MD) that ever I saw. She told me that twenty people had sent her the
verses upon Biddy,[7] as meant to her: and, indeed, in point of handsomeness,
she deserves them much better. I will not go to Windsor to-morrow, and so I
told the Secretary to-day. I hate the thoughts of Saturday and Sunday suppers
with Lord Treasurer. Jack Hill is come home from his unfortunate expedition,
and is, I think, now at Windsor: I have not yet seen him. He is privately
blamed by his own friends for want of conduct. He called a council of war,
and therein it was determined to come back. But they say a general should not
do that, because the officers will always give their opinion for returning,
since the blame will not lie upon them, but the general. I pity him heartily.
Bernage received his commission to-day.
13. I dined to-day with Colonel Crowe,[8] late Governor of Barbadoes; he is a
great acquaintance of your friend Sterne, to whom I trusted the box. Lord
Treasurer has refused Sterne's business, and I doubt he is a rake; Jemmy Leigh
stays for him, and nobody knows where to find him. I am so busy now I have
hardly time to spare to write to our little MD, but in a fortnight I hope it
will be over. I am going now to be busy, etc.
14. I was going to dine with Dr. Cockburn, but Sir Andrew Fountaine met me,
and carried me to Mrs. Van's, where I drank the last bottle of Raymond's wine,
admirable good, better than any I get among the Ministry. I must pick up time
to answer this letter of MD's; I'll do it in a day or two for certain.--I am
glad I am not at Windsor, for it is very cold, and I won't have a fire till
November. I am contriving how to stop up my grate with bricks. Patrick was
drunk last night; but did not come to me, else I should have given him t'other
cuff. I sat this evening with Mrs. Barton; it is the first day of her seeing
company; but I made her merry enough, and we were three hours disputing upon
Whig and Tory. She grieved for her brother only for form, and he was a sad
dog. Is Stella well enough to go to church, pray? no numbings left? no
darkness in your eyes? do you walk and exercise? Your exercise is ombre.--
People are coming up to town: the Queen will be at Hampton Court in a week.
Lady Betty Germaine, I hear, is come; and Lord Pembroke is coming: his
wife[9] is as big with child as she can tumble.
15. I sat at home till four this afternoon to-day writing, and ate a roll and
butter; then visited Will Congreve an hour or two, and supped with Lord
Treasurer, who came from Windsor to-day, and brought Prior with him. The
Queen has thanked Prior for his good service in France, and promised to make
him a Commissioner of the Customs. Several of that Commission are to be out;
among the rest, my friend Sir Matthew Dudley. I can do nothing for him, he is
so hated by the Ministry. Lord Treasurer kept me till twelve, so I need not
tell you it is now late.
16. I dined to-day with Mr. Secretary at Dr. Coatesworth's,[10] where he now
lodges till his house be got ready in Golden Square. One Boyer,[11] a French
dog, has abused me in a pamphlet, and I have got him up in a messenger's
hands: the Secretary promises me to swinge him. Lord Treasurer told me last
night that he had the honour to be abused with me in a pamphlet. I must make
that rogue an example, for warning to others. I was to see Jack Hill this
morning, who made that unfortunate expedition; and there is still more
misfortune; for that ship, which was admiral of his fleet,[12] is blown up in
the Thames, by an accident and carelessness of some rogue, who was going, as
they think, to steal some gunpowder: five hundred men are lost. We don't yet
know the particulars. I am got home by seven, and am going to be busy, and
you are going to play and supper; you live ten times happier than I; but I
should live ten times happier than you if I were with MD. I saw Jemmy Leigh
to-day in the street, who tells me that Sterne has not lain above once these
three weeks in his lodgings, and he doubts he takes ill courses; he stays only
till he can find Sterne to go along with him, and he cannot hear of him. I
begged him to inquire about the box when he comes to Chester, which he
promises.
17. The Secretary and I dined to-day with Brigadier Britton,[13] a great
friend of his. The lady of the house is very gallant, about thirty-five; she
is said to have a great deal of wit; but I see nothing among any of them that
equals MD by a bar's length, as hope saved. My Lord Treasurer is much out of
order; he has a sore throat, and the gravel, and a pain in his breast where
the wound was: pray God preserve him. The Queen comes to Hampton Court on
Tuesday next; people are coming fast to town, and I must answer MD's letter,
which I can hardly find time to do, though I am at home the greatest part of
the day. Lady Betty Germaine and I were disputing Whig and Tory to death this
morning. She is grown very fat, and looks mighty well. Biddy Floyd was
there, and she is, I think, very much spoiled with the smallpox.
18. Lord Treasurer is still out of order, and that breaks our method of
dining there to-day. He is often subject to a sore throat, and some time or
other it will kill him, unless he takes more care than he is apt to do. It
was said about the town that poor Lord Peterborow was dead at Frankfort; but
he is something better, and the Queen is sending him to Italy, where I hope
the warm climate will recover him: he has abundance of excellent qualities,
and we love one another mightily. I was this afternoon in the City, ate a bit
of meat, and settled some things with a printer. I will answer your letter on
Saturday, if possible, and then send away this; so to fetch up the odd days I
lost at Windsor, and keep constant to my fortnight. Ombre time is now coming
on, and we shall have nothing but Manley, and Walls, and Stoytes, and the
Dean. Have you got no new acquaintance? Poor girls; nobody knows MD's good
qualities.--'Tis very cold; but I will not have a fire till November, that's
pozz.--Well, but coming home to-night, I found on my table a letter from MD;
faith, I was angry, that is, with myself; and I was afraid too to see MD's
hand so soon, for fear of something, I don't know what: at last I opened it,
and it was over well, and a bill for the two hundred guineas. However, 'tis a
sad thing that this letter is not gone, nor your twenty-first answered yet.
19. I was invited to-day to dine with Mrs. Van, with some company who did not
come; but I ate nothing but herrings; you must know I hardly ever eat of above
one thing, and that the plainest ordinary meat at table; I love it best, and
believe it wholesomest. You love rarities; yes you do; I wish you had all
that I ever see where I go. I was coming home early, and met the Secretary in
his chair, who persuaded me to go with him to Britton's; for he said he had
been all day at business, and had eaten nothing. So I went, and the time
passed so, that we stayed till two, so you may believe 'tis late enough.
20. This day has gone all wrong, by sitting up so late last night. Lord
Treasurer is not yet well, and can't go to Windsor. I dined with Sir Matthew
Dudley, and took occasion to hint to him that he would lose his employment,
for which I am very sorry. Lord Pembroke and his family are all come to town.
I was kept so long at a friend's this evening that I cannot send this to-
night. When I knocked at my lodgings, a fellow asked me where lodged Dr.
Swift? I told him I was the person: he gave me a letter he brought from the
Secretary's office, and I gave him a shilling: when I came up, I saw
Dingley's hand: faith, I was afraid, I do not know what. At last it was a
formal letter, from Dingley about her exchequer business. Well, I'll do it on
Monday, and settle it with Tooke. And now, boys, for your letter, I mean the
first, N.21. Let's see; come out, little letter. I never had the letter from
the Bishop that Raymond mentions; but I have written to Ned Southwell, to
desire the Duke of Ormond to speak to his reverence, that he may leave off his
impertinence. What a pox can they think I am doing for the Archbishop here?
You have a pretty notion of me in Ireland, to make me an agent for the
Archbishop of Dublin.--Why! do you think I value your people's ingratitude
about my part in serving them? I remit them their first-fruits of
ingratitude, as freely as I got the other remitted to them. The Lord
Treasurer defers writing his letter to them, or else they would be plaguily
confounded by this time. For he designs to give the merit of it wholly to the
Queen and me, and to let them know it was done before the Duke of Ormond was
Lord Lieutenant. You visit, you dine abroad, you see friends; you
pilgarlick;[14] you walk from Finglas, you a cat's foot. O Lord--Lady
Gore[15] hung her child by the WAIST; what is that waist?[16] I don't
understand that word; he must hang on till you explain or spell it.--I don't
believe he was pretty, that's a liiii.--Pish! burn your First-Fruits; again at
it. Stella has made twenty false spellings in her writing; I'll send them to
you all back again on the other side of this letter, to mend them; I won't
miss one. Why, I think there were seventeen bishops' names to the letter Lord
Oxford received.--I will send you some pamphlets by Leigh; put me in mind of
it on Monday, for I shall go then to the printer; yes, and the Miscellany. I
am mightily obliged to Walls, but I don't deserve it by any usage of him here,
having seen him but twice, and once en passant. Mrs. Manley forsworn ombre!
What! and no blazing star appear? no monsters born? no whale thrown up? have
you not found out some evasion for her? She had no such regard to oaths in
her younger days. I got the books for nothing, Madam Dingley; but the wine I
got not; it was but a promise.--Yes, my head is pretty well in the main, only
now and then a little threatening or so.--You talk of my reconciling some
great folks. I tell you what. The Secretary told me last night that he had
found the reason why the Queen was cold to him for some months past; that a
friend had told it him yesterday; and it was, that they suspected he was at
the bottom with the Duke of Marlborough. Then he said he had reflected upon
all I had spoken to him long ago, but he thought it had only been my
suspicion, and my zeal and kindness for him. I said I had reason to take that
very ill, to imagine I knew so little of the world as to talk at a venture to
a great Minister; that I had gone between him and Lord Treasurer often, and
told each of them what I had said to the other, and that I had informed him so
before. He said all that you may imagine to excuse himself, and approve my
conduct. I told him I knew all along that this proceeding of mine was the
surest way to send me back to my willows in Ireland, but that I regarded it
not, provided I could do the kingdom service in keeping them well together. I
minded him how often I had told Lord Treasurer, Lord Keeper, and him together,
that all things depended on their union, and that my comfort was to see them
love one another; and I had told them all singly that I had not said this by
chance, etc. He was in a rage to be thus suspected; swears he will be upon a
better foot, or none at all; and I do not see how they can well want him in
this juncture. I hope to find a way of settling this matter. I act an honest
part, that will bring me neither honour nor praise. MD must think the better
of me for it: nobody else shall ever know of it. Here's politics enough for
once; but Madam DD gave me occasion for it. I think I told you I have got
into lodgings that don't smell ill--O Lord! the spectacles: well, I'll do
that on Monday too; although it goes against me to be employed for folks that
neither you nor I care a groat for. Is the eight pounds from Hawkshaw
included in the thirty-nine pounds five shillings and twopence? How do I know
by this how my account stands? Can't you write five or six lines to cast it
up? Mine is forty-four pounds per annum, and eight pounds from Hawkshaw makes
fifty-two pounds. Pray set it right, and let me know; you had best.--And so
now I have answered N.21, and 'tis late, and I will answer N.22 in my next:
this cannot go to-night, but shall on Tuesday: and so go to your play, and
lose your money, with your two eggs a penny; silly jade; you witty? very
pretty.
21. Mrs. Van would have me dine with her again to-day, and so I did, though
Lady Mountjoy has sent two or three times to have me see and dine with her,
and she is a little body I love very well. My head has ached a little in the
evenings these three or four days, but it is not of the giddy sort, so I do
not much value it. I was to see Lord Harley to-day, but Lord Treasurer took
physic; and I could not see him. He has voided much gravel, and is better,
but not well: he talks of going on Tuesday to see the Queen at Hampton Court;
I wish he may be able. I never saw so fine a summer day as this was: how is
it with you, pray? and can't you remember, naughty packs? I han't seen Lord
Pembroke yet. He will be sorry to miss Dilly: I wonder you say nothing of
Dilly's being got to Ireland; if he be not there soon, I shall have some
certain odd thoughts: guess them if you can.
22. I dined in the City to-day with Dr. Freind, at one of my printers: I
inquired for Leigh, but could not find him: I have forgot what sort of apron
you want. I must rout among your letters, a needle in a bottle of hay. I
gave Sterne directions, but where to find him Lord knows. I have bespoken the
spectacles; got a set of Examiners, and five pamphlets, which I have either
written or contributed to, except the best, which is the vindication of the
Duke of Marlborough, and is entirely of the author of the Atalantis.[17] I
have settled Dingley's affair with Tooke, who has undertaken it, and
understands it. I have bespoken a Miscellany: what would you have me do
more? It cost me a shilling coming home; it rains terribly, and did so in the
morning. Lord Treasurer has had an ill day, in much pain. He writes and does
business in his chamber now he is ill: the man is bewitched: he desires to
see me, and I'll maul him, but he will not value it a rush. I am half weary
of them all. I often burst out into these thoughts, and will certainly steal
away as soon as I decently can. I have many friends, and many enemies; and
the last are more constant in their nature. I have no shuddering at all to
think of retiring to my old circumstances, if you can be easy; but I will
always live in Ireland as I did the last time; I will not hunt for dinners
there, nor converse with more than a very few.
23. Morning. This goes to-day, and shall be sealed by and by. Lord
Treasurer takes physic again to-day: I believe I shall dine with Lord
Dupplin. Mr. Tooke brought me a letter directed for me at Morphew's the
bookseller. I suppose, by the postage, it came from Ireland. It is a woman's
hand, and seems false spelt on purpose: it is in such sort of verse as
Harris's petition;[18] rallies me for writing merry things, and not upon
divinity; and is like the subject of the Archbishop's last letter, as I told
you. Can you guess whom it came from? It is not ill written; pray find it
out. There is a Latin verse at the end of it all rightly spelt; yet the
English, as I think, affectedly wrong in many places. My plaguing time is
coming. A young fellow brought me a letter from Judge Coote,[19] with
recommendation to be lieutenant of a man-of-war. He is the son of one
Echlin,[20] who was minister of Belfast before Tisdall, and I have got some
other new customers; but I shall trouble my friends as little as possible.
Saucy Stella used to jeer me for meddling with other folks' affairs; but now I
am punished for it.--Patrick has brought the candle, and I have no more room.
Farewell, etc. etc.
Here is a full and true account of Stella's new spelling:--[21]
Plaguely, Plaguily. Dineing, Dining.
Straingers, Strangers. Chais, Chase.
Waist, Wast. Houer, Hour.
Immagin, Imagine. A bout, About.
Intellegence, Intelligence. Merrit, Merit.
Aboundance, Abundance. Secreet, Secret.
Phamphlets, Pamphlets. Bussiness, Business.
Tell me truly, sirrah, how many of these are mistakes of the pen, and how many
are you to answer for as real ill spelling? There are but fourteen; I said
twenty by guess. You must not be angry, for I will have you spell right, let
the world go how it will. Though, after all, there is but a mistake of one
letter in any of these words. I allow you henceforth but six false spellings
in every letter you send me.
LETTER 33.
LONDON, Oct. 23, 1711.
I dined with Lord Dupplin as I told you I would, and put my thirty-second into
the post-office my own self; and I believe there has not been one moment since
we parted wherein a letter was not upon the road going or coming to or from
PMD. If the Queen knew it, she would give us a pension; for it is we bring
good luck to their post-boys and their packets; else they would break their
necks and sink. But, an old saying and a true one:
Be it snow, or storm, or hail,
PMD's letters never fail;
Cross winds may sometimes make them tarry,
But PMD's letters can't miscarry.
Terrible rain to-day, but it cleared up at night enough to save my twelvepence
coming home. Lord Treasurer is much better this evening. I hate to have him
ill, he is so confoundedly careless. I won't answer your letter yet, so be
satisfied.
24. I called at Lord Treasurer's to-day at noon: he was eating some broth in
his bed-chamber, undressed, with a thousand papers about him. He has a little
fever upon him, and his eye terribly bloodshot; yet he dressed himself and
went out to the Treasury. He told me he had a letter from a lady with a
complaint against me; it was from Mrs. Cutts, a sister of Lord Cutts, who writ
to him that I had abused her brother:[1] you remember the "Salamander," it is
printed in the Miscellany. I told my lord that I would never regard
complaints, and that I expected, whenever he received any against me, he would
immediately put them into the fire, and forget them, else I should have no
quiet. I had a little turn in my head this morning; which, though it did not
last above a moment, yet being of the true sort, has made me as weak as a dog
all this day. 'Tis the first I have had this half-year. I shall take my
pills if I hear of it again. I dined at Lady Mountjoy's with Harry Coote,[2]
and went to see Lord Pembroke upon his coming to town.--The Whig party are
furious against a peace, and every day some ballad comes out reflecting on the
Ministry on that account. The Secretary St. John has seized on a dozen
booksellers and publishers into his messengers' hands.[3] Some of the foreign
Ministers have published the preliminaries agreed on here between France and
England; and people rail at them as insufficient to treat a peace upon; but
the secret is, that the French have agreed to articles much more important,
which our Ministers have not communicated, and the people, who think they know
all, are discontented that there is no more. This was an inconvenience I
foretold to the Secretary, but we could contrive no way to fence against it.
So there's politics for you.
25. The Queen is at Hampton Court: she went on Tuesday in that terrible
rain. I dined with Lewis at his lodgings, to despatch some business we had.
I sent this morning and evening to Lord Treasurer, and he is much worse by
going out; I am in pain about evening. He has sent for Dr. Radcliffe; pray
God preserve him. The Chancellor of the Exchequer[4] showed me to-day a
ballad[5] in manuscript against Lord Treasurer and his South Sea project; it
is very sharply written: if it be not printed, I will send it you. If it be,
it shall go in your packet of pamphlets.--I found out your letter about
directions for the apron, and have ordered to be bought a cheap green silk
work apron; I have it by heart. I sat this evening with Mrs. Barton, who is
my near neighbour. It was a delicious day, and I got my walk, and was
thinking whether MD was walking too just at that time that Presto was. This
paper does not cost me a farthing, I have it from the Secretary's office. I
long till to-morrow to know how my Lord Treasurer sleeps this night, and to
hear he mends: we are all undone without him; so pray for him, sirrahs, and
don't stay too late at the Dean's.
26. I dined with Mrs. Van; for the weather is so bad, and I am so busy, that
I can't dine with great folks: and besides I dare eat but little, to keep my
head in order, which is better. Lord Treasurer is very ill, but I hope in no
danger. We have no quiet with the Whigs, they are so violent against a peace;
but I'll cool them, with a vengeance, very soon. I have not heard from the
Bishop of Clogher, whether he has got his statues.[6] I writ to him six weeks
ago; he's so busy with his Parliament. I won't answer your letter yet, say
what you will, saucy girls.
27. I forgot to go about some business this morning, which cost me double the
time; and I was forced to be at the Secretary's office till four, and lose my
dinner; so I went to Mrs. Van's, and made them get me three herrings, which I
am very fond of, and they are a light victuals: besides, I was to have supped
at Lady Ashburnham's; but the drab did not call for us in her coach, as she
promised, but sent for us, and so I sent my excuses. It has been a terrible
rainy day, but so flattering in the morning, that I would needs go out in my
new hat. I met Leigh and Sterne as I was going into the Park. Leigh says he
will go to Ireland in ten days, if he can get Sterne to go with him; so I will
send him the things for MD, and I have desired him to inquire about the box.
I hate that Sterne for his carelessness about it; but it was my fault.
29. I was all this terrible rainy day with my friend Lewis upon business of
importance; and I dined with him, and came home about seven, and thought I
would amuse myself a little, after the pains I had taken. I saw a volume of
Congreve's plays in my room, that Patrick had taken to read; and I looked into
it, and in mere loitering read in it till twelve, like an owl and a fool: if
ever I do so again; never saw the like. Count Gallas,[7] the Emperor's Envoy,
you will hear, is in disgrace with us: the Queen has ordered her Ministers to
have no more commerce with him; the reason is, the fool writ a rude letter to
Lord Dartmouth, Secretary of State, complaining of our proceedings about a
peace; and he is always in close confidence with Lord Wharton and Sunderland,
and others of the late Ministry. I believe you begin to think there will be
no peace; the Whigs here are sure it cannot be, and stocks are fallen again.
But I am confident there will, unless France plays us tricks; and you may
venture a wager with any of your Whig acquaintance that we shall not have
another campaign. You will get more by it than by ombre, sirrah.--I let slip
telling you yesterday's journal, which I thought to have done this morning,
but blundered. I dined yesterday at Harry Coote's, with Lord Hatton,[8] Mr.
Finch, a son of Lord Nottingham, and Sir Andrew Fountaine. I left them soon,
but hear they stayed till two in the morning, and were all drunk: and so
good-night for last night, and good-night for to-night. You blundering
goosecap, an't you ashamed to blunder to young ladies? I shall have a fire in
three or four days now, oh ho.
30. I was to-day in the City concerting some things with a printer, and am to
be to-morrow all day busy with Mr. Secretary about the same. I won't tell you
now; but the Ministers reckon it will do abundance of good, and open the eyes
of the nation, who are half bewitched against a peace. Few of this generation
can remember anything but war and taxes, and they think it is as it should be;
whereas 'tis certain we are the most undone people in Europe, as I am afraid I
shall make appear beyond all contradiction. But I forgot; I won't tell you
what I will do, nor what I will not do: so let me alone, and go to Stoyte,
and give Goody Stoyte and Catherine my humble service; I love Goody Stoyte
better than Goody Walls. Who'll pay me for this green apron? I will have the
money; it cost ten shillings and sixpence. I think it plaguy dear for a cheap
thing; but they said that English silk would cockle,[9] and I know not what.
You have the making into the bargain. 'Tis right Italian: I have sent it and
the pamphlets to Leigh, and will send the Miscellanies and spectacles in a day
or two. I would send more; but, faith, I'm plaguy poor at present.
31. The devil's in this Secretary: when I went this morning he had people
with him; but says he, "we are to dine with Prior to-day, and then will do all
our business in the afternoon": at two, Prior sends word he is otherwise
engaged; then the Secretary and I go and dine with Brigadier Britton, sit till
eight, grow merry, no business done; he is in haste to see Lady Jersey;[10] we
part, and appoint no time to meet again. This is the fault of all the present
Ministers, teasing me to death for my assistance, laying the whole weight of
their affairs upon it, yet slipping opportunities. Lord Treasurer mends every
day, though slowly: I hope he will take care of himself. Pray, will you send
to Parvisol to send me a bill of twenty pounds as soon as he can, for I want
money. I must have money; I will have money, sirrahs.
Nov. 1. I went to-day into the City to settle some business with Stratford,
and to dine with him; but he was engaged, and I was so angry I would not dine
with any other merchant, but went to my printer, and ate a bit, and did
business of mischief with him, and I shall have the spectacles and Miscellany
to-morrow, and leave them with Leigh. A fine day always makes me go into the
City, if I can spare time, because it is exercise; and that does me more good
than anything. I have heard nothing since of my head, but a little, I don't
know how, sometimes: but I am very temperate, especially now the Treasurer is
ill, and the Ministers often at Hampton Court, and the Secretary not yet fixed
in his house, and I hate dining with many of my old acquaintance. Here has
been a fellow discovered going out of the East India House with sixteen
thousand pounds in money and bills; he would have escaped, if he had not been
so uneasy with thirst, that he stole out before his time, and was caught. But
what is that to MD? I wish we had the money, provided the East India Company
was never the worse; you know we must not covet, etc. Our weather, for this
fortnight past, is chequered, a fair and a rainy day: this was very fine, and
I have walked four miles; wish MD would do so, lazy sluttikins.
2. It has rained all day with a continuendo, and I went in a chair to dine
with Mrs. Van; always there in a very rainy day. But I made a shift to come
back afoot. I live a very retired life, pay very few visits, and keep but
very little company; I read no newspapers. I am sorry I sent you the
Examiner, for the printer is going to print them in a small volume: it seems
the author is too proud to have them printed by subscription, though his
friends offered, they say, to make it worth five hundred pounds to him. The
Spectators are likewise printing in a larger and a smaller volume, so I
believe they are going to leave them off, and indeed people grow weary of
them, though they are often prettily written. We have had no news for me to
send you now towards the end of my letter. The Queen has the gout a little:
I hoped the Lord Treasurer would have had it too, but Radcliffe told me
yesterday it was the rheumatism in his knee and foot; however, he mends, and I
hope will be abroad in a short time. I am told they design giving away
several employments before the Parliament sits, which will be the thirteenth
instant. I either do not like, or not understand this policy; and if Lord
Treasurer does not mend soon, they must give them just before the session.
But he is the greatest procrastinator in the world.
3. A fine day this, and I walked a pretty deal. I stuffed the Secretary's
pockets with papers, which he must read and settle at Hampton Court, where he
went to-day, and stays some time. They have no lodgings for me there, so I
can't go, for the town is small, chargeable, and inconvenient. Lord Treasurer
had a very ill night last night, with much pain in his knee and foot, but is
easier to-day.--And so I went to visit Prior about some business, and so he
was not within, and so Sir Andrew Fountaine made me dine to-day again with
Mrs. Van, and I came home soon, remembering this must go to-night, and that I
had a letter of MD's to answer. O Lord, where is it? let me see; so, so, here
it is. You grudge writing so soon. Pox on that bill! the woman would have me
manage that money for her. I do not know what to do with it now I have it: I
am like the unprofitable steward in the Gospel: I laid it up in a napkin;
there thou hast what is thine own, etc. Well, well, I know of your new Mayor.
(I'll tell you a pun: a fishmonger owed a man two crowns; so he sent him a
piece of bad ling and a tench, and then said he was paid: how is that now?
find it out; for I won't tell it you: which of you finds it out?) Well, but
as I was saying, what care I for your Mayor? I fancy Ford may tell Forbes
right about my returning to Ireland before Christmas, or soon after. I'm
sorry you did not go on with your story about Pray God you be John; I never
heard it in my life, and wonder what it can be.--Ah, Stella, faith, you leaned
upon your Bible to think what to say when you writ that. Yes, that story of
the Secretary's making me an example is true; "never heard it before;" why,
how could you hear it? is it possible to tell you the hundredth part of what
passes in our companies here? The Secretary is as easy with me as Mr. Addison
was. I have often thought what a splutter Sir William Temple makes about
being Secretary of State:[11] I think Mr. St. John the greatest young man I
ever knew; wit, capacity, beauty, quickness of apprehension, good learning,
and an excellent taste; the best orator in the House of Commons, admirable
conversation, good nature, and good manners; generous, and a despiser of
money. His only fault is talking to his friends in way of complaint of too
great a load of business, which looks a little like affectation; and he
endeavours too much to mix the fine gentleman and man of pleasure with the man
of business. What truth and sincerity he may have I know not: he is now but
thirty-two, and has been Secretary above a year. Is not all this
extraordinary? how he stands with the Queen and Lord Treasurer I have told you
before. This is his character; and I believe you will be diverted by knowing
it. I writ to the Archbishop of Dublin, Bishop of Cloyne[12] and of Clogher
together, five weeks ago from Windsor: I hope they had my letters; pray know
if Clogher had his.--Fig for your physician and his advice, Madam Dingley: if
I grow worse, I will; otherwise I will trust to temperance and exercise: your
fall of the leaf; what care I when the leaves fall? I am sorry to see them
fall with all my heart; but why should I take physic because leaves fall off
from trees? that won't hinder them from falling. If a man falls from a horse,
must I take physic for that?--This arguing makes you mad; but it is true right
reason, not to be disproved.--I am glad at heart to hear poor Stella is
better; use exercise and walk, spend pattens and spare potions, wear out clogs
and waste claret. Have you found out my pun of the fishmonger? don't read a
word more till you have got it. And Stella is handsome again, you say? and is
she fat? I have sent to Leigh the set of Examiners: the first thirteen were
written by several hands, some good, some bad; the next three-and-thirty were
all by one hand, that makes forty-six: then that author,[13] whoever he was,
laid it down on purpose to confound guessers; and the last six were written by
a woman.[14] Then there is an account of Guiscard by the same woman, but the
facts sent by Presto. Then an answer to the letter to the Lords about Gregg
by Presto; Prior's Journey by Presto; Vindication of the Duke of Marlborough,
entirely by the same woman; Comment on Hare's Sermon by the same woman, only
hints sent to the printer from Presto to give her.[15] Then there's the
Miscellany, an apron for Stella, a pound of chocolate, without sugar, for
Stella, a fine snuff-rasp of ivory, given me by Mrs. St. John for Dingley, and
a large roll of tobacco, which she must hide or cut shorter out of modesty,
and four pair of spectacles for the Lord knows who. There's the cargo, I hope
it will come safe. Oh, Mrs. Masham and I are very well; we write to one
another, but it is upon business; I believe I told you so before: pray pardon
my forgetfulness in these cases; poor Presto can't help it. MD shall have the
money as soon as Tooke gets it. And so I think I have answered all, and the
paper is out, and now I have fetched up my week, and will send you another
this day fortnight.--Why, you rogues, two crowns make TENCH-ILL-LING:[16] you
are so dull you could never have found it out. Farewell, etc. etc.
LETTER 34.
LONDON, Nov. 3, 1711.
My thirty-third lies now before me just finished, and I am going to seal and
send it, so let me know whether you would have me add anything: I gave you my
journal of this day; and it is now nine at night, and I am going to be busy
for an hour or two.
4. I left a friend's house to-day where I was invited, just when dinner was
setting on, and pretended I was engaged, because I saw some fellows I did not
know; and went to Sir Matthew Dudley's, where I had the same inconvenience,
but he would not let me go; otherwise I would have gone home, and sent for a
slice of mutton and a pot of ale, rather than dine with persons unknown, as
bad, for aught I know, as your deans, parsons, and curates. Bad slabby
weather to-day.--Now methinks I write at ease, when I have no letter of MD's
to answer. But I mistook, and have got the large paper. The Queen is laid up
with the gout at Hampton Court: she is now seldom without it any long time
together; I fear it will wear her out in a very few years. I plainly find I
have less twitchings about my toes since these Ministers are sick and out of
town, and that I don't dine with them. I would compound for a light easy gout
to be perfectly well in my head.--Pray walk when the frost comes, young ladies
go a frost-biting. It comes into my head, that, from the very time you first
went to Ireland, I have been always plying you to walk and read. The young
fellows here have begun a kind of fashion to walk, and many of them have got
swingeing strong shoes on purpose; it has got as far as several young lords;
if it hold, it would be a very good thing. Lady Lucy[1] and I are fallen out;
she rails at me, and I have left visiting her.
5. MD was very troublesome to me last night in my sleep; I was a dreamed,
methought, that Stella was here. I asked her after Dingley, and she said she
had left her in Ireland, because she designed her stay to be short, and such
stuff.--Monsieur Pontchartain, the Secretary of State in France, and Monsieur
Fontenelle, the Secretary of the Royal Academy there (who writ the Dialogues
des Morts, etc.), have sent letters to Lord Pembroke that the Academy have,
with the King's consent, chosen him one of their members in the room of one
who is lately dead. But the cautious gentleman has given me the letters to
show my Lord Dartmouth and Mr. St. John, our two Secretaries, and let them see
there is no treason in them; which I will do on Wednesday, when they come from
Hampton Court. The letters are very handsome, and it is a very great mark of
honour and distinction to Lord Pembroke. I hear the two French Ministers are
come over again about the peace; but I have seen nobody of consequence to know
the truth. I dined to-day with a lady of my acquaintance, who was sick, in
her bed-chamber, upon three herrings and a chicken: the dinner was my
bespeaking. We begin now to have chestnuts and Seville oranges; have you the
latter yet? 'Twas a terrible windy day, and we had processions in carts of
the Pope and the Devil, and the butchers rang their cleavers. You know this
is the Fifth of November, Popery and gunpowder.
6. Since I am used to this way of writing, I fancy I could hardly make out a
long letter to MD without it. I think I ought to allow for every line taken
up by telling you where I dined; but that will not be above seven lines in
all, half a line to a dinner. Your Ingoldsby[2] is going over, and they say
here he is to be made a lord.--Here was I staying in my room till two this
afternoon for that puppy Sir Andrew Fountaine, who was to go with me into the
City, and never came; and if I had not shot a dinner flying, with one Mr.
Murray, I might have fasted, or gone to an alehouse.--You never said one word
of Goody Stoyte in your letter; but I suppose these winter nights we shall
hear more of her. Does the Provost[3] laugh as much as he used to do? We
reckon him here a good-for-nothing fellow.--I design to write to your Dean one
of these days, but I can never find time, nor what to say.--I will think of
something: but if DD[4] were not in Ireland I believe seriously I should not
think of the place twice a year. Nothing there ever makes the subject of talk
in any company where I am.
7. I went to-day to the City on business; but stopped at a printer's, and
stayed there: it was a most delicious day. I hear the Parliament is to be
prorogued for a fortnight longer; I suppose, either because the Queen has the
gout, or that Lord Treasurer is not well, or that they would do something more
towards a peace. I called at Lord Treasurer's at noon, and sat a while with
Lord Harley, but his father was asleep. A bookseller has reprinted or new-
titled a sermon of Tom Swift's,[5] printed last year, and publishes an
advertisement calling it Dr. Swift's Sermon. Some friend of Lord Galway[6]
has, by his directions, published a four-shilling book about his conduct in
Spain, to defend him; I have but just seen it. But what care you for books,
except Presto's Miscellanies? Leigh promised to call and see me, but has not
yet; I hope he will take care of his cargo, and get your Chester box. A
murrain take that box! everything is spoiled that is in it. How does the
strong box do? You say nothing of Raymond: is his wife brought to bed again;
or how? has he finished his house; paid his debts; and put out the rest of the
money to use? I am glad to hear poor Joe is like to get his two hundred
pounds. I suppose Trim is now reduced to slavery again. I am glad of it; the
people were as great rascals as the gentlemen. But I must go to bed, sirrahs:
the Secretary is still at Hampton Court with my papers, or is come only to-
night. They plague me with attending them.
8. I was with the Secretary this morning, and we dined with Prior, and did
business this afternoon till about eight; and I must alter and undo, and a
clutter. I am glad the Parliament is prorogued. I stayed with Prior till
eleven; the Secretary left us at eight. Prior, I believe, will be one of
those employed to make the peace, when a Congress is opened. Lord Ashburnham
told to-day at the Coffee-house that Lord Harley[7] was yesterday morning
married to the Duke of Newcastle's daughter, the great heiress, and it got
about all the town. But I saw Lord Harley yesterday at noon in his nightgown,
and he dined in the City with Prior and others; so it is not true; but I hope
it will be so; for I know it has been privately managing this long time:[8]
the lady will not have half her father's estate; for the Duke left Lord
Pelham's son his heir.[9] The widow Duchess will not stand to the will, and
she is now at law with Pelham. However, at worst, the girl will have about
ten thousand pounds a year to support the honour; for Lord Treasurer will
never save a groat for himself. Lord Harley is a very valuable young
gentleman; and they say the girl is handsome, and has good sense, but red
hair.
9. I designed a jaunt into the City to-day to be merry, but was disappointed;
so one always is in this life; and I could not see Lord Dartmouth to-day, with
whom I had some business. Business and pleasure both disappointed. You can
go to your Dean, and for want of him, Goody Stoyte, or Walls, or Manley, and
meet everywhere with cards and claret. I dined privately with a friend on a
herring and chicken, and half a flask of bad Florence. I begin to have fires
now, when the mornings are cold. I have got some loose bricks at the back of
my grate for good husbandry. Fine weather. Patrick tells me my caps are
wearing out. I know not how to get others. I want a necessary woman
strangely. I am as helpless as an elephant.--I had three packets from the
Archbishop of Dublin, cost me four shillings, all about Higgins,[10] printed
stuff, and two long letters. His people forgot to enclose them to Lewis; and
they were only directed to Doctor Swift, without naming London or anything
else. I wonder how they reached me, unless the postmaster directed them. I
have read all the trash, and am weary.
10. Why, if you must have it out, something is to be published of great
moment,[11] and three or four great people are to see there are no mistakes in
point of fact: and 'tis so troublesome to send it among them, and get their
corrections, that I am weary as a dog. I dined to-day with the printer, and
was there all the afternoon; and it plagues me, and there's an end, and what
would you have? Lady Dupplin, Lord Treasurer's daughter,[12] is brought to
bed of a son. Lord Treasurer has had an ugly return of his gravel. 'Tis good
for us to live in gravel pits,[13] but not for gravel pits to live in us; a
man in this case should leave no stone unturned. Lord Treasurer's sickness,
the Queen's gout, the forwarding the peace, occasion putting off the
Parliament a fortnight longer. My head has had no ill returns. I had good
walking to-day in the City, and take all opportunities of it on purpose for my
health; but I can't walk in the Park, because that is only for walking's sake,
and loses time, so I mix it with business. I wish MD walked half as much as
Presto. If I was with you, I'd make you walk; I would walk behind or before
you, and you should have masks on, and be tucked up like anything; and Stella
is naturally a stout walker, and carries herself firm; methinks I see her
strut, and step clever over a kennel; and Dingley would do well enough if her
petticoats were pinned up; but she is so embroiled, and so fearful, and then
Stella scolds, and Dingley stumbles, and is so daggled.[14] Have you got the
whalebone petticoats among you yet? I hate them; a woman here may hide a
moderate gallant under them. Pshaw, what's all this I'm saying? Methinks I
am talking to MD face to face.
11. Did I tell you that old Frowde,[15] the old fool, is selling his estate
at Pepperhara, and is skulking about the town nobody knows where? and who do
you think manages all this for him, but that rogue Child,[16] the double
squire of Farnham? I have put Mrs. Masham, the Queen's favourite, upon buying
it, but that is yet a great secret; and I have employed Lady Oglethorpe to
inquire about it. I was with Lady Oglethorpe to-day, who is come to town for
a week or two, and to-morrow I will see to hunt out the old fool: he is
utterly ruined, and at this present in some blind alley with some dirty wench.
He has two sons that must starve, and he never gives them a farthing. If Mrs.
Masham buys the land, I will desire her to get the Queen to give some pension
to the old fool, to keep him from absolutely starving. What do you meddle
with other people's affairs for? says Stella. Oh, but Mr. Masham and his wife
are very urgent with me, since I first put them in the head of it. I dined
with Sir Matthew Dudley, who, I doubt, will soon lose his employment.
12. Morning. I am going to hunt out old Frowde, and to do some business in
the City. I have not yet called to Patrick to know whether it be fair.--It
has been past dropping these two days. Rainy weather hurts my pate and my
purse. He tells me 'tis very windy, and begins to look dark; woe be to my
shillings! an old saying and a true,
Few fillings,
Many shillings.
If the day be dark, my purse will be light.
To my enemies be this curse,
A dark day and a light purse.
And so I'll rise, and go to my fire, for Patrick tells me I have a fire; yet
it is not shaving-day, nor is the weather cold; this is too extravagant. What
is become of Dilly? I suppose you have him with you. Stella is just now
showing a white leg, and putting it into the slipper. Present my service to
her, and tell her I am engaged to the Dean, and desire she will come too: or,
Dingley, can't you write a note? This is Stella's morning dialogue, no,
morning speech I mean.--Morrow, sirrahs, and let me rise as well as you; but I
promise you Walls can't dine with the Dean to-day, for she is to be at Mrs.
Proby's just after dinner, and to go with Gracy Spencer[17] to the shops to
buy a yard of muslin, and a silver lace for an under petticoat. Morrow again,
sirrahs.--At night. I dined with Stratford in the City, but could not finish
my affairs with him; but now I am resolved to buy five hundred pounds South
Sea Stock, which will cost me three hundred and eighty ready money; and I will
make use of the bill of a hundred pounds you sent me, and transfer Mrs. Walls
over to Hawkshaw; or if she dislikes it, I will borrow a hundred pounds of the
Secretary, and repay her. Three shillings coach-hire to-day. I have spoken
to Frowde's brother to get me the lowest price of the estate, to tell Mrs.
Masham.
13. I dined privately with a friend to-day in the neighbourhood. Last
Saturday night I came home, and the drab had just washed my room, and my bed-
chamber was all wet, and I was forced to go to bed in my own defence, and no
fire: I was sick on Sunday, and now have got a swingeing cold. I scolded
like a dog at Patrick, although he was out with me: I detest washing of
rooms; can't they wash them in a morning, and make a fire, and leave open the
windows? I slept not a wink last night for hawking[18] and spitting: and now
everybody has colds. Here's a clutter: I'll go to bed and sleep if I can.
14. Lady Mountjoy sent to me two days ago, so I dined with her to-day, and in
the evening went to see Lord Treasurer. I found Patrick had been just there
with a how d'ye,[19] and my lord had returned answer that he desired to see
me. Mrs. Masham was with him when I came, and they are never disturbed: 'tis
well she is not very handsome; they sit alone together settling the nation. I
sat with Lady Oxford, and stopped Mrs. Masham as she came out, and told her
what progress I had made, etc., and then went to Lord Treasurer: he is very
well, only uneasy at rising or sitting, with some rheumatic pain in his thigh,
and a foot weak. He showed me a small paper, sent by an unknown hand to one
Mr. Cook, who sent it to my lord: it was written in plain large letters thus
"Though G---d's knife did not succeed,
A F---n's yet may do the deed."
And a little below: "BURN THIS, YOU DOG." My lord has frequently such
letters as these: once he showed me one, which was a vision describing a
certain man, his dress, his sword, and his countenance, who was to murder my
lord. And he told me he saw a fellow in the chapel at Windsor with a dress
very like it. They often send him letters signed, "Your humble servant, The
Devil," and such stuff. I sat with him till after ten, and have business to
do.
