13. I went this morning to the city, to see Mr. Stratford the Hamburg
merchant, my old schoolfellow;[13] but calling at Bull's[14] on Ludgate Hill,
he forced me to his house at Hampstead to dinner among a great deal of ill
company; among the rest Mr. Hoadley,[15] the Whig clergyman, so famous for
acting the contrary part to Sacheverell:[16] but tomorrow I design again to
see Stratford. I was glad, however, to be at Hampstead, where I saw Lady
Lucy[17] and Moll Stanhope. I hear very unfortunate news of Mrs. Long;[18]
she and her comrade[19] have broke up house, and she is broke for good and
all, and is gone to the country: I should be extremely sorry if this be true.
14. To-day, I saw Patty Rolt,[20] who heard I was in town; and I dined with
Stratford at a merchant's in the city, where I drank the first Tokay wine I
ever saw; and it is admirable, yet not to the degree I expected. Stratford is
worth a plum,[21] and is now lending the Government forty thousand pounds; yet
we were educated together at the same school and university.[22] We hear the
Chancellor[23] is to be suddenly out, and Sir Simon Harcourt[24] to succeed
him: I am come early home, not caring for the Coffee-house.
15. To-day Mr. Addison, Colonel Freind,[25] and I, went to see the million
lottery[26] drawn at Guildhall. The jackanapes of bluecoat boys gave
themselves such airs in pulling out the tickets, and showed white hands open
to the company, to let us see there was no cheat. We dined at a country-house
near Chelsea, where Mr. Addison often retires; and to-night, at the Coffee-
house, we hear Sir Simon Harcourt is made Lord Keeper; so that now we expect
every moment the Parliament will be dissolved; but I forgot that this letter
will not go in three or four days, and that my news will be stale, which I
should therefore put in the last paragraph. Shall I send this letter before I
hear from MD, or shall I keep it to lengthen? I have not yet seen Stella's
mother, because I will not see Lady Giffard; but I will contrive to go there
when Lady Giffard is abroad. I forgot to mark my two former letters; but I
remember this is Number 3, and I have not yet had Number 1 from MD; but I
shall by Monday, which I reckon will be just a fortnight after you had my
first. I am resolved to bring over a great deal of china. I loved it
mightily to-day.[27] What shall I bring?
16. Morning. Sir John Holland,[28] Comptroller of the Household, has sent to
desire my acquaintance: I have a mind to refuse him, because he is a Whig,
and will, I suppose, be out among the rest; but he is a man of worth and
learning. Tell me, do you like this journal way of writing? Is it not
tedious and dull?
Night. I dined to-day with a cousin, a printer,[29] where Patty Rolt lodges,
and then came home, after a visit or two; and it has been a very insipid day.
Mrs. Long's misfortune is confirmed to me; bailiffs were in her house; she
retired to private lodgings; thence to the country, nobody knows where: her
friends leave letters at some inn, and they are carried to her; and she writes
answers without dating them from any place. I swear, it grieves me to the
soul.
17. To-day I dined six miles out of town, with Will Pate,[30] the learned
woollen-draper; Mr. Stratford went with me; six miles here is nothing: we
left Pate after sunset, and were here before it was dark. This letter shall
go on Tuesday, whether I hear from MD or no. My health continues pretty well;
pray God Stella may give me a good account of hers! and I hope you are now at
Trim, or soon designing it. I was disappointed to-night: the fellow gave me
a letter, and I hoped to see little MD's hand; and it was only to invite me to
a venison pasty to-day: so I lost my pasty into the bargain. Pox on these
declining courtiers! Here is Mr. Brydges,[31] the Paymaster-General, desiring
my acquaintance; but I hear the Queen sent Lord Shrewsbury[32] to assure him
he may keep his place; and he promises me great assistance in the affair of
the First-Fruits. Well, I must turn over this leaf to-night, though the side
would hold another line; but pray consider this is a whole sheet; it holds a
plaguy deal, and you must be content to be weary; but I'll do so no more. Sir
Simon Harcourt is made Attorney-General, and not Lord Keeper.
18. To-day I dined with Mr. Stratford at Mr. Addison's retirement near
Chelsea; then came to town; got home early, and began a letter to the
Tatler,[33] about the corruptions of style and writing, etc., and, having not
heard from you, am resolved this letter shall go to-night. Lord Wharton was
sent for to town in mighty haste, by the Duke of Devonshire:[34] they have
some project in hand; but it will not do, for every hour we expect a thorough
revolution, and that the Parliament will be dissolved. When you see Joe, tell
him Lord Wharton is too busy to mind any of his affairs; but I will get what
good offices I can from Mr. Addison, and will write to-day to Mr. Pratt; and
bid Joe not to be discouraged, for I am confident he will get the money under
any Government; but he must have patience.
19. I have been scribbling this morning, and I believe shall hardly fill this
side to-day, but send it as it is; and it is good enough for naughty girls
that won't write to a body, and to a good boy like Presto. I thought to have
sent this to-night, but was kept by company, and could not; and, to say the
truth, I had a little mind to expect one post more for a letter from MD.
Yesterday at noon died the Earl of Anglesea,[35] the great support of the
Tories; so that employment of Vice-Treasurer of Ireland is again vacant. We
were to have been great friends, and I could hardly have a loss that could
grieve me more. The Bishop of Durham[36] died the same day. The Duke of
Ormond's daughter[37] was to visit me to-day at a third place by way of
advance,[38] and I am to return it to-morrow. I have had a letter from Lady
Berkeley, begging me for charity to come to Berkeley Castle, for company to my
lord,[39] who has been ill of a dropsy; but I cannot go, and must send my
excuse to-morrow. I am told that in a few hours there will be more removals.
20. To-day I returned my visits to the Duke's daughters;[40] the insolent
drabs came up to my very mouth to salute me. Then I heard the report
confirmed of removals; my Lord President Somers; the Duke of Devonshire, Lord
Steward; and Mr. Boyle,[41] Secretary of State, are all turned out to-day. I
never remember such bold steps taken by a Court: I am almost shocked at it,
though I did not care if they were all hanged. We are astonished why the
Parliament is not yet dissolved, and why they keep a matter of that importance
to the last. We shall have a strange winter here, between the struggles of a
cunning provoked discarded party, and the triumphs of one in power; of both
which I shall be an indifferent spectator, and return very peaceably to
Ireland, when I have done my part in the affair I am entrusted with, whether
it succeeds or no. To-morrow I change my lodgings in Pall Mall for one in
Bury Street,[42] where I suppose I shall continue while I stay in London. If
anything happens tomorrow, I will add it.--Robin's Coffee-house.[43] We have
great news just now from Spain; Madrid taken, and Pampeluna. I am here ever
interrupted.
21. I have just received your letter, which I will not answer now; God be
thanked all things are so well. I find you have not yet had my second: I had
a letter from Parvisol, who tells me he gave Mrs. Walls a bill of twenty
pounds for me, to be given to you; but you have not sent it. This night the
Parliament is dissolved: great news from Spain; King Charles and Stanhope are
at Madrid, and Count Staremberg has taken Pampeluna. Farewell. This is from
St. James's Coffee-house. I will begin my answer to your letter to-night, but
not send it this week. Pray tell me whether you like this journal way of
writing.--I don't like your reasons for not going to Trim. Parvisol tells me
he can sell your horse. Sell it, with a pox? Pray let him know that he shall
sell his soul as soon. What? sell anything that Stella loves, and may
sometimes ride? It is hers, and let her do as she pleases: pray let him know
this by the first that you know goes to Trim. Let him sell my grey, and be
hanged.
LETTER 4.
LONDON, Sept. 21, 1710.
Here must I begin another letter, on a whole sheet, for fear saucy little MD
should be angry, and think MUCH that the paper is too LITTLE. I had your
letter this night, as told you just and no more in my last; for this must be
taken up in answering yours, saucebox. I believe I told you where I dined to-
day; and to-morrow I go out of town for two days to dine with the same company
on Sunday; Molesworth[1] the Florence Envoy, Stratford, and some others. I
heard to-day that a gentlewoman from Lady Giffard's house had been at the
Coffee-house to inquire for me. It was Stella's mother, I suppose. I shall
send her a penny-post letter[2] to-morrow, and contrive to see her without
hazarding seeing Lady Giffard, which I will not do until she begs my pardon.
22. I dined to-day at Hampstead with Lady Lucy, etc., and when I got home
found a letter from Joe, with one enclosed to Lord Wharton, which I will send
to his Excellency, and second it as well as I can; but to talk of getting the
Queen's order is a jest. Things are in such a combustion here, that I am
advised not to meddle yet in the affair I am upon, which concerns the clergy
of a whole kingdom; and does he think anybody will trouble the Queen about
Joe? We shall, I hope, get a recommendation from the Lord Lieutenant to the
trustees for the linen business, and I hope that will do; and so I will write
to him in a few days, and he must have patience. This is an answer to part of
your letter as well as his. I lied; it is to-morrow I go to the country, and
I won't answer a bit more of your letter yet.
23. Here is such a stir and bustle with this little MD of ours; I must be
writing every night; I can't go to bed without a word to them; I can't put out
my candle till I have bid them good-night: O Lord, O Lord! Well, I dined the
first time to-day, with Will Frankland and his fortune: she is not very
handsome. Did I not say I would go out of town to-day? I hate lying abroad
and clutter; I go tomorrow in Frankland's chariot, and come back at night.
Lady Berkeley has invited me to Berkeley Castle, and Lady Betty Germaine[3] to
Drayton in Northamptonshire; and I'll go to neither. Let me alone, I must
finish my pamphlet. I have sent a long letter to Bickerstaff:[4] let the
Bishop of Clogher smoke[5] it if he can. Well, I'll write to the Bishop of
Killala; but you might have told him how sudden and unexpected my journey was
though. Deuce take Lady S---; and if I know D---y, he is a rawboned-faced
fellow, not handsome, nor visibly so young as you say: she sacrifices two
thousand pounds a year, and keeps only six hundred. Well, you have had all my
land journey in my second letter, and so much for that. So, you have got into
Presto's lodgings; very fine, truly! We have had a fortnight of the most
glorious weather on earth, and still continues: I hope you have made the best
of it. Ballygall[6] will be a pure[7] good place for air, if Mrs. Ashe makes
good her promise. Stella writes like an emperor: I am afraid it hurts your
eyes; take care of that pray, pray, Mrs. Stella. Can't you do what you will
with your own horse? Pray don't let that puppy Parvisol sell him. Patrick is
drunk about three times a week, and I bear it, and he has got the better of
me; but one of these days I will positively turn him off to the wide world,
when none of you are by to intercede for him.--Stuff--how can I get her
husband into the Charter-house? get a ---- into the Charter-house.--Write
constantly! Why, sirrah, don't I write every day, and sometimes twice a day
to MD? Now I have answered all your letter, and the rest must be as it can
be: send me my bill. Tell Mrs. Brent what I say of the Charter-house. I
think this enough for one night; and so farewell till this time to-morrow.
24. To-day I dined six miles out of town at Will Pate's, with Stratford,
Frankland, and the Molesworths,[8] and came home at night, and was weary and
lazy. I can say no more now, but good-night.
25. I was so lazy to-day that I dined at next door,[9] and have sat at home
since six, writing to the Bishop of Clogher, Dean Sterne, and Mr. Manley: the
last, because I am in fear for him about his place, and have sent him my
opinion, what I and his other friends here think he ought to do. I hope he
will take it well. My advice was, to keep as much in favour as possible with
Sir Thomas Frankland, his master here.
26. Smoke how I widen the margin by lying in bed when I write. My bed lies
on the wrong side for me, so that I am forced often to write when I am up.
Manley, you must know, has had people putting in for his place already; and
has been complained of for opening letters. Remember that last Sunday,
September 24, 1710, was as hot as midsummer. This was written in the morning;
it is now night, and Presto in bed. Here's a clutter, I have gotten MD's
second letter, and I must answer it here. I gave the bill to Tooke, and so--
Well, I dined to-day with Sir John Holland the Comptroller, and sat with him
till eight; then came home, and sent my letters, and writ part of a
lampoon,[10] which goes on very slow: and now I am writing to saucy MD; no
wonder, indeed, good boys must write to naughty girls. I have not seen your
mother yet; my penny-post letter, I suppose, miscarried: I will write
another. Mr. S---- came to see me; and said M---- was going to the country
next morning with her husband (who I find is a surly brute); so I could only
desire my service to her.
27. To-day all our company dined at Will Frankland's, with Steele and Addison
too. This is the first rainy day since I came to town; I cannot afford to
answer your letter yet. Morgan,[11] the puppy, writ me a long letter, to
desire I would recommend him for purse-bearer or secretary to the next Lord
Chancellor that would come with the next Governor. I will not answer him; but
beg you will say these words to his father Raymond,[12] or anybody that will
tell him: That Dr. Swift has received his letter; and would be very ready to
serve him, but cannot do it in what he desires, because he has no sort of
interest in the persons to be applied to. These words you may write, and let
Joe, or Mr. Warburton,[13] give them to him: a pox on him! However, it is by
these sort of ways that fools get preferment. I must not end yet, because I
cannot say good-night without losing a line, and then MD would scold; but now,
good-night.
28. I have the finest piece of Brazil tobacco for Dingley that ever was
born.[14] You talk of Leigh; why, he won't be in Dublin these two months: he
goes to the country, then returns to London, to see how the world goes here in
Parliament. Good-night, sirrahs; no, no, not night; I writ this in the
morning, and looking carelessly I thought it had been of last night. I dined
to-day with Mrs. Barton[15] alone at her lodgings; where she told me for
certain, that Lady S---- was with child when she was last in England, and
pretended a tympany, and saw everybody; then disappeared for three weeks, her
tympany was gone, and she looked like a ghost, etc. No wonder she married
when she was so ill at containing. Connolly[16] is out; and Mr. Roberts in
his place, who loses a better here, but was formerly a Commissioner in
Ireland. That employment cost Connolly three thousand pounds to Lord Wharton;
so he has made one ill bargain in his life.
29. I wish MD a merry Michaelmas. I dined with Mr. Addison, and Jervas the
painter, at Addison's country place; and then came home, and writ more to my
lampoon. I made a Tatler since I came: guess which it is, and whether the
Bishop of Clogher smokes it. I saw Mr. Sterne[17] to-day: he will do as you
order, and I will give him chocolate for Stella's health. He goes not these
three weeks. I wish I could send it some other way. So now to your letter,
brave boys. I don't like your way of saving shillings: nothing vexes me but
that it does not make Stella a coward in a coach.[18] I don't think any lady's
advice about my ear signifies twopence: however I will, in compliance to you,
ask Dr. Cockburn. Radcliffe[19] I know not, and Barnard[20] I never see.
Walls will certainly be stingier for seven years, upon pretence of his
robbery. So Stella puns again; why, 'tis well enough; but I'll not second it,
though I could make a dozen: I never thought of a pun since I left Ireland.--
Bishop of Clogher's bill? Why, he paid it to me; do you think I was such a
fool to go without it? As for the four shillings, I will give you a bill on
Parvisol for it on t'other side of this paper; and pray tear off the two
letters I shall write to him and Joe, or let Dingley transcribe and send them;
though that to Parvisol, I believe, he must have my hand for. No, no, I'll
eat no grapes; I ate about six the other day at Sir John Holland's; but would
not give sixpence for a thousand, they are so bad this year. Yes, faith, I
hope in God Presto and MD will be together this time twelvemonth. What then?
Last year I suppose I was at Laracor; but next I hope to eat my Michaelmas
goose at my two little gooses' lodgings. I drink no aile (I suppose you mean
ale); but yet good wine every day, of five and six shillings a bottle. O
Lord, how much Stella writes! pray don't carry that too far, young women, but
be temperate, to hold out. To-morrow I go to Mr. Harley.[21] Why, small hopes
from the Duke of Ormond: he loves me very well, I believe, and would, in my
turn, give me something to make me easy; and I have good interest among his
best friends. But I don't think of anything further than the business I am
upon. You see I writ to Manley before I had your letter, and I fear he will
be out. Yes, Mrs. Owl, Bligh's corpse[22] came to Chester when I was there;
and I told you so in my letter, or forgot it. I lodge in Bury Street, where I
removed a week ago. I have the first floor, a dining-room, and bed-chamber,
at eight shillings a week; plaguy deep, but I spend nothing for eating, never
go to a tavern, and very seldom in a coach; yet after all it will be
expensive. Why do you trouble yourself, Mistress Stella, about my instrument?
I have the same the Archbishop gave me; and it is as good now the bishops are
away. The Dean friendly! the Dean be poxed: a great piece of friendship
indeed, what you heard him tell the Bishop of Clogher; I wonder he had the
face to talk so: but he lent me money, and that's enough. Faith, I would not
send this these four days, only for writing to Joe and Parvisol. Tell the
Dean that when the bishops send me any packets, they must not write to me at
Mr. Steele's; but direct for Mr. Steele, at his office at the Cockpit, and let
the enclosed be directed for me: that mistake cost me eighteenpence the other
day.
30. I dined with Stratford to-day, but am not to see Mr. Harley till
Wednesday: it is late, and I send this before there is occasion for the bell;
because I would have Joe have his letter, and Parvisol too; which you must so
contrive as not to cost them double postage. I can say no more, but that I
am, etc.
LETTER 5.
LONDON, Sept. 30, 1710.
Han't I brought myself into a fine praemunire,[1] to begin writing letters in
whole sheets? and now I dare not leave it off. I cannot tell whether you like
these journal letters: I believe they would be dull to me to read them over;
but, perhaps, little MD is pleased to know how Presto passes his time in her
absence. I always begin my last the same day I ended my former. I told you
where I dined to-day at a tavern with Stratford: Lewis,[2] who is a great
favourite of Harley's, was to have been with us; but he was hurried to Hampton
Court, and sent his excuse; and that next Wednesday he would introduce me to
Harley. 'Tis good to see what a lamentable confession the Whigs all make me
of my ill usage: but I mind them not. I am already represented to Harley as
a discontented person, that was used ill for not being Whig enough; and I hope
for good usage from him. The Tories drily tell me, I may make my fortune, if
I please; but I do not understand them--or rather, I do understand them.
Oct. 1. To-day I dined at Molesworth's, the Florence Envoy; and sat this
evening with my friend Darteneuf,[3] whom you have heard me talk of; the
greatest punner of this town next myself. Have you smoked the Tatler that I
writ?[4] It is much liked here, and I think it a pure[5] one. To-morrow I go
with Delaval,[6] the Portugal Envoy, to dine with Lord Halifax near Hampton
Court.[7] Your Manley's brother, a Parliament-man here, has gotten an
employment;[8] and I am informed uses much interest to preserve his brother:
and, to-day, I spoke to the elder Frankland to engage his father (Postmaster
here); and I hope he will be safe, although he is cruelly hated by all the
Tories of Ireland. I have almost finished my lampoon, and will print it for
revenge on a certain great person.[9] It has cost me but three shillings in
meat and drink since I came here, as thin as the town is. I laugh to see
myself so disengaged in these revolutions. Well, I must leave off, and go
write to Sir John Stanley,[10] to desire him to engage Lady Hyde as my
mistress to engage Lord Hyde[11] in favour of Mr. Pratt.[12]
2. Lord Halifax was at Hampton Court at his lodgings, and I dined with him
there with Methuen,[13] and Delaval, and the late Attorney-General.[14] I went
to the Drawing-room before dinner (for the Queen was at Hampton Court), and
expected to see nobody; but I met acquaintance enough. I walked in the
gardens, saw the cartoons of Raphael, and other things; and with great
difficulty got from Lord Halifax, who would have kept me to-morrow to show me
his house and park, and improvements. We left Hampton Court at sunset, and
got here in a chariot and two horses time enough by starlight. That's
something charms me mightily about London; that you go dine a dozen miles off
in October, stay all day, and return so quickly: you cannot do anything like
this in Dublin.[15] I writ a second penny post letter to your mother, and hear
nothing of her. Did I tell you that Earl Berkeley died last Sunday was
se'nnight, at Berkeley Castle, of a dropsy? Lord Halifax began a health to me
to-day; it was the Resurrection of the Whigs, which I refused unless he would
add their Reformation too and I told him he was the only Whig in England I
loved, or had any good opinion of.
3. This morning Stella's sister[16] came to me with a letter from her mother,
who is at Sheen; but will soon be in town, and will call to see me: she gave
me a bottle of palsy water,[17] a small one, and desired I would send it you
by the first convenience, as I will; and she promises a quart bottle of the
same: your sister looked very well, and seems a good modest sort of girl. I
went then to Mr. Lewis, first secretary to Lord Dartmouth,[18] and favourite
to Mr. Harley, who is to introduce me to-morrow morning. Lewis had with him
one Mr. Dyot,[19] a Justice of Peace, worth twenty thousand pounds, a
Commissioner of the Stamp Office, and married to a sister of Sir Philip
Meadows,[20] Envoy to the Emperor. I tell you this, because it is odds but
this Mr. Dyot will be hanged; for he is discovered to have counterfeited
stamped paper, in which he was a Commissioner; and, with his accomplices, has
cheated the Queen of a hundred thousand pounds. You will hear of it before
this come to you, but may be not so particularly; and it is a very odd
accident in such a man. Smoke Presto writing news to MD. I dined to-day with
Lord Mountjoy at Kensington, and walked from thence this evening to town like
an emperor. Remember that yesterday, October 2, was a cruel hard frost, with
ice; and six days ago I was dying with heat. As thin as the town is, I have
more dinners than ever; and am asked this month by some people, without being
able to come for pre-engagements. Well, but I should write plainer, when I
consider Stella cannot read,[21] and Dingley is not so skilful at my ugly
hand. I had tonight a letter from Mr. Pratt, who tells me Joe will have his
money when there are trustees appointed by the Lord Lieutenant for receiving
and disposing the linen fund; and whenever those trustees are appointed, I
will solicit whoever is Lord Lieutenant, and am in no fear of succeeding. So
pray tell or write him word, and bid him not be cast down; for Ned
Southwell[22] and Mr. Addison both think Pratt in the right. Don't lose your
money at Manley's to-night, sirrahs.
4. After I had put out my candle last night, my landlady came into my room,
with a servant of Lord Halifax, to desire I would go dine with him at his
house near Hampton Court; but I sent him word, I had business of great
importance that hindered me, etc. And to-day I was brought privately to Mr.
Harley, who received me with the greatest respect and kindness imaginable: he
has appointed me an hour on Saturday at four, afternoon, when I will open my
business to him; which expression I would not use if I were a woman. I know
you smoked it; but I did not till I writ it. I dined to-day at Mr. Delaval's,
the Envoy for Portugal, with Nic Rowe[23] the poet, and other friends; and I
gave my lampoon to be printed. I have more mischief in my heart; and I think
it shall go round with them all, as this hits, and I can find hints. I am
certain I answered your 2d letter, and yet I do not find it here. I suppose
it was in my 4th: and why N. 2d, 3d; is it not enough to say, as I do, 1, 2,
3? etc. I am going to work at another Tatler:[24] I'll be far enough but I
say the same thing over two or three times, just as I do when I am talking to
little MD; but what care I? they can read it as easily as I can write it: I
think I have brought these lines pretty straight again. I fear it will be
long before I finish two sides at this rate. Pray, dear MD, when I
occasionally give you any little commission mixed with my letters, don't
forget it, as that to Morgan and Joe, etc., for I write just as I can
remember, otherwise I would put them all together. I was to visit Mr. Sterne
to-day, and give him your commission about handkerchiefs: that of chocolate I
will do myself, and send it him when he goes, and you'll pay me when the
GIVER'S BREAD,[25] etc. To-night I will read a pamphlet, to amuse myself.
God preserve your dear healths!
5. This morning Delaval came to see me, and we went together to
Kneller's,[26] who was not in town. In the way we met the electors for
Parliament-men:[27] and the rabble came about our coach, crying, "A Colt, a
Stanhope," etc. We were afraid of a dead cat, or our glasses broken, and so
were always of their side. I dined again at Delaval's; and in the evening, at
the Coffee-house, heard Sir Andrew Fountaine[28] was come to town. This has
been but an insipid sort of day, and I have nothing to remark upon it worth
threepence: I hope MD had a better, with the Dean, the Bishop, or Mrs.
Walls.[29] Why, the reason you lost four and eightpence last night but one at
Manley's was, because you played bad games: I took notice of six that you had
ten to one against you: Would any but a mad lady go out twice upon Manilio;
Basto, and two small diamonds?[30] Then in that game of spades, you blundered
when you had ten-ace; I never saw the like of you: and now you are in a huff
because I tell you this. Well, here's two and eightpence halfpenny towards
your loss.
6. Sir Andrew Fountaine came this morning, and caught me writing in bed. I
went into the city with him; and we dined at the Chop-house with Will
Pate,[31] the learned woollen-draper: then we sauntered at China-shops[32]
and booksellers; went to the tavern, drank two pints of white wine, and never
parted till ten: and now I am come home, and must copy out some papers I
intend for Mr. Harley, whom I am to see, as I told you, to-morrow afternoon;
so that this night I shall say little to MD, but that I heartily wish myself
with them, and will come as soon as I either fail, or compass my business. We
now hear daily of elections; and, in a list I saw yesterday of about twenty,
there are seven or eight more Tories than in the last Parliament; so that I
believe they need not fear a majority, with the help of those who will vote as
the Court pleases. But I have been told that Mr. Harley himself would not let
the Tories be too numerous, for fear they should be insolent, and kick against
him; and for that reason they have kept several Whigs in employments, who
expected to be turned out every day; as Sir John Holland the Comptroller, and
many others. And so get you gone to your cards, and your claret and orange,
at the Dean's; and I'll go write.
7. I wonder when this letter will be finished: it must go by Tuesday, that's
certain; and if I have one from MD before, I will not answer it, that's as
certain too. 'Tis now morning, and I did not finish my papers for Mr. Harley
last night; for you must understand Presto was sleepy, and made blunders and
blots. Very pretty that I must be writing to young women in a morning fresh
and fasting, faith. Well, good-morrow to you; and so I go to business, and
lay aside this paper till night, sirrahs.--At night. Jack How[33] told Harley
that if there were a lower place in hell than another, it was reserved for his
porter, who tells lies so gravely, and with so civil a manner. This porter I
have had to deal with, going this evening at four to visit Mr. Harley, by his
own appointment. But the fellow told me no lie, though I suspected every word
he said. He told me his master was just gone to dinner, with much company,
and desired I would come an hour hence: which I did, expecting to hear Mr.
Harley was gone out; but they had just done dinner. Mr. Harley came out to
me, brought me in, and presented to me his son-in-law Lord Doblane[34] (or
some such name) and his own son,[35] and, among others, Will Penn[36] the
Quaker: we sat two hours drinking as good wine as you do; and two hours more
he and I alone; where he heard me tell my business; entered into it with all
kindness; asked for my powers, and read them; and read likewise a memorial[37]
I had drawn up, and put it in his pocket to show the Queen; told me the
measures he would take; and, in short, said everything I could wish: told me,
he must bring Mr. St. John[38] (Secretary of State) and me acquainted; and
spoke so many things of personal kindness and esteem for me, that I am
inclined half to believe what some friends have told me, that he would do
everything to bring me over. He has desired to dine with me (what a comical
mistake was that!). I mean he has desired me to dine with him on Tuesday; and
after four hours being with him, set me down at St. James's Coffee-house in a
hackney-coach. All this is odd and comical, if you consider him and me. He
knew my Christian name very well. I could not forbear saying thus much upon
this matter, although you will think it tedious. But I'll tell you; you must
know, 'tis fatal[39] to me to be a scoundrel and a prince the same day: for,
being to see him at four, I could not engage myself to dine at any friend's;
so I went to Tooke,[40] to give him a ballad, and dine with him; but he was
not at home: so I was forced to go to a blind[41] chop-house, and dine for
tenpence upon gill-ale,[42] bad broth, and three chops of mutton; and then go
reeking from thence to the First Minister of State. And now I am going in
charity to send Steele a Tatler, who is very low of late. I think I am
civiller than I used to be; and have not used the expression of "you in
Ireland" and "we in England" as I did when I was here before, to your great
indignation.--They may talk of the you know what;[43] but, gad, if it had not
been for that, I should never have been able to get the access I have had; and
if that helps me to succeed, then that same thing will be serviceable to the
Church. But how far we must depend upon new friends, I have learnt by long
practice, though I think among great Ministers, they are just as good as old
ones. And so I think this important day has made a great hole in this side of
the paper; and the fiddle-faddles of tomorrow and Monday will make up the
rest; and, besides, I shall see Harley on Tuesday before this letter goes.
8. I must tell you a great piece of refinement[44] of Harley. He charged me
to come to him often: I told him I was loth to trouble him in so much
business as he had, and desired I might have leave to come at his levee; which
he immediately refused, and said, that was not a place for friends to come to.
'Tis now but morning; and I have got a foolish trick, I must say something to
MD when I wake, and wish them a good-morrow; for this is not a shaving-day,
Sunday, so I have time enough: but get you gone, you rogues, I must go write:
Yes, 'twill vex me to the blood if any of these long letters
should miscarry: if they do, I will shrink to half-sheets again; but then
what will you do to make up the journal? there will be ten days of Presto's
life lost; and that will be a sad thing, faith and troth.--At night. I was at
a loss today for a dinner, unless I would have gone a great way, so I dined
with some friends that board hereabout,[45] as a spunger;[46] and this evening
Sir Andrew Fountaine would needs have me go to the tavern; where, for two
bottles of wine, Portugal and Florence, among three of us, we had sixteen
shillings to pay; but if ever he catches me so again, I'll spend as many
pounds: and therefore I have it among my extraordinaries but we had a neck of
mutton dressed a la Maintenon, that the dog could not eat: and it is now
twelve o'clock, and I must go sleep. I hope this letter will go before I have
MD's third. Do you believe me? and yet, faith, I long for MD's third too and
yet I would have it to say, that I writ five for two. I am not fond at all of
St. James's Coffee-house,[47] as I used to be. I hope it will mend in winter;
but now they are all out of town at elections, or not come from their country
houses. Yesterday I was going with Dr. Garth[48] to dine with Charles
Main,[49] near the Tower, who has an employment there: he is of Ireland; the
Bishop of Clogher knows him well: an honest, good-natured fellow, a thorough
hearty laugher, mightily beloved by the men of wit: his mistress is never
above a cook-maid. And so, good-night, etc.
9. I dined to-day at Sir John Stanley's; my Lady Stanley[50] is one of my
favourites: I have as many here as the Bishop of Killala has in Ireland. I
am thinking what scurvy company I shall be to MD when I come back: they know
everything of me already: I will tell you no more, or I shall have nothing to
say, no story to tell, nor any kind of thing. I was very uneasy last night
with ugly, nasty, filthy wine, that turned sour on my stomach. I must go to
the tavern: oh, but I told you that before. To-morrow I dine at Harley's,
and will finish this letter at my return; but I can write no more now, because
of the Archbishop: faith, 'tis true; for I am going now to write to him an
account of what I have done in the business with Harley:[51] and, faith, young
women, I'll tell you what you must count upon, that I never will write one
word on the third side in these long letters.
10. Poor MD's letter was lying so huddled up among papers, I could not find
it: I mean poor Presto's letter. Well, I dined with Mr. Harley to-day, and
hope some things will be done; but I must say no more: and this letter must
be sent to the post-house, and not by the bellman.[52] I am to dine again
there on Sunday next; I hope to some good issue. And so now, soon as ever I
can in bed, I must begin my 6th to MD as gravely as if I had not written a
word this month: fine doings, faith! Methinks I don't write as I should,
because I am not in bed: see the ugly wide lines. God Almighty ever bless
you, etc.
Faith, this is a whole treatise; I'll go reckon the lines on the other sides.
I've reckoned them.[53]
LETTER 6.
LONDON, Oct. 10, 1710.
So, as I told you just now in the letter I sent half an hour ago, I dined with
Mr. Harley to-day, who presented me to the Attorney-General, Sir Simon
Harcourt, with much compliment on all sides, etc. Harley told me he had shown
my memorial to the Queen, and seconded it very heartily; and he desires me to
dine with him again on Sunday, when he promises to settle it with Her Majesty,
before she names a Governor:[1] and I protest I am in hopes it will be done,
all but the forms, by that time; for he loves the Church. This is a popular
thing, and he would not have a Governor share in it; and, besides, I am told
by all hands, he has a mind to gain me over. But in the letter I writ last
post (yesterday) to the Archbishop, I did not tell him a syllable of what Mr.
Harley said to me last night, because he charged me to keep it secret; so I
would not tell it to you, but that, before this goes, I hope the secret will
be over. I am now writing my poetical "Description of a Shower in London,"
and will send it to the Tatler.[2] This is the last sheet of a whole quire I
have written since I came to town. Pray, now it comes into my head, will you,
when you go to Mrs. Walls, contrive to know whether Mrs. Wesley[3] be in town,
and still at her brother's, and how she is in health, and whether she stays in
town. I writ to her from Chester, to know what I should do with her note; and
I believe the poor woman is afraid to write to me: so I must go to my
business, etc.
11. To-day at last I dined with Lord Mountrath,[4] and carried Lord Mountjoy,
and Sir Andrew Fountaine with me; and was looking over them at ombre till
eleven this evening like a fool: they played running ombre half-crowns; and
Sir Andrew Fountaine won eight guineas of Mr. Coote;[5] so I am come home
late, and will say but little to MD this night. I have gotten half a bushel
of coals, and Patrick, the extravagant whelp, had a fire ready for me; but I
picked off the coals before I went to bed. It is a sign London is now an
empty place, when it will not furnish me with matter for above five or six
lines in a day. Did you smoke in my last how I told you the very day and the
place you were playing at ombre? But I interlined and altered a little, after
I had received a letter from Mr. Manley, that said you were at it in his
house, while he was writing to me; but without his help I guessed within one
day. Your town is certainly much more sociable than ours. I have not seen
your mother yet, etc.
12. I dined to-day with Dr. Garth and Mr. Addison, at the Devil Tavern[6] by
Temple Bar, and Garth treated; and 'tis well I dine every day, else I should
be longer making out my letters: for we are yet in a very dull state, only
inquiring every day after new elections, where the Tories carry it among the
new members six to one. Mr. Addison's election[7] has passed easy and
undisputed; and I believe if he had a mind to be chosen king, he would hardly
be refused. An odd accident has happened at Colchester: one Captain
Lavallin,[8] coming from Flanders or Spain, found his wife with child by a
clerk of Doctors' Commons, whose trade, you know, it is to prevent
fornications: and this clerk was the very same fellow that made the discovery
of Dyot's[9] counterfeiting the stamp-paper. Lavallin has been this fortnight
hunting after the clerk, to kill him; but the fellow was constantly employed
at the Treasury, about the discovery he made: the wife had made a shift to
patch up the business, alleging that the clerk had told her her husband was
dead and other excuses; but t'other day somebody told Lavallin his wife had
intrigues before he married her: upon which he goes down in a rage, shoots
his wife through the head, then falls on his sword; and, to make the matter
sure, at the same time discharges a pistol through his own head, and died on
the spot, his wife surviving him about two hours, but in what circumstances of
mind and body is terrible to imagine. I have finished my poem on the
"Shower," all but the beginning; and am going on with my Tatler. They have
fixed about fifty things on me since I came: I have printed but three.[10]
One advantage I get by writing to you daily, or rather you get, is, that I
shall remember not to write the same things twice; and yet, I fear, I have
done it often already: but I will mind and confine myself to the accidents of
the day; and so get you gone to ombre, and be good girls, and save your money,
and be rich against Presto comes, and write to me now and then: I am thinking
it would be a pretty thing to hear sometimes from saucy MD; but do not hurt
your eyes, Stella, I charge you.
13. O Lord, here is but a trifle of my letter written yet; what shall Presto
do for prattle-prattle, to entertain MD? The talk now grows fresher of the
Duke of Ormond for Ireland; though Mr. Addison says he hears it will be in
commission, and Lord Galway[11] one. These letters of mine are a sort of
journal, where matters open by degrees; and, as I tell true or false, you will
find by the event whether my intelligence be good; but I do not care twopence
whether it be or no.--At night. To-day I was all about St. Paul's, and up at
the top like a fool, with Sir Andrew Fountaine and two more; and spent seven
shillings for my dinner like a puppy: this is the second time he has served
me so; but I will never do it again, though all mankind should persuade me,
unconsidering puppies! There is a young fellow here in town we are all fond
of, and about a year or two come from the University, one Harrison,[12] a
little pretty fellow, with a great deal of wit, good sense, and good nature;
has written some mighty pretty things; that in your 6th Miscellanea,[13] about
the Sprig of an Orange, is his: he has nothing to live on but being governor
to one of the Duke of Queensberry's[14] sons for forty pounds a year. The
fine fellows are always inviting him to the tavern, and make him pay his club.
Henley[15] is a great crony of his: they are often at the tavern at six or
seven shillings reckoning, and he always makes the poor lad pay his full
share. A colonel and a lord were at him and me the same way to-night: I
absolutely refused, and made Harrison lag behind, and persuaded him not to go
to them. I tell you this, because I find all rich fellows have that humour of
using all people without any consideration of their fortunes; but I will see
them rot before they shall serve me so. Lord Halifax is always teasing me to
go down to his country house, which will cost me a guinea to his servants, and
twelve shillings coach-hire; and he shall be hanged first. Is not this a
plaguy silly story? But I am vexed at the heart; for I love the young fellow,
and am resolved to stir up people to do something for him: he is a Whig, and
I will put him upon some of my cast Whigs; for I have done with them; and they
have, I hope, done with this kingdom for our time. They were sure of the four
members for London above all places, and they have lost three in the four.[16]
Sir Richard Onslow,[17] we hear, has lost for Surrey; and they are overthrown
in most places. Lookee, gentlewomen, if I write long letters, I must write
you news and stuff, unless I send you my verses; and some I dare not; and
those on the "Shower in London" I have sent to the Tatler, and you may see
them in Ireland. I fancy you will smoke me in the Tatler I am going to write;
for I believe I have told you the hint. I had a letter sent me tonight from
Sir Matthew Dudley, and found it on my table when I came in. Because it is
extraordinary, I will transcribe it from beginning to end. It is as follows:
"Is the Devil in you? Oct. 13, 1710." I would have answered every particular
passage in it, only I wanted time. Here is enough for to-night, such as it
is, etc.
14. Is that tobacco at the top of the paper,[18] or what? I do not remember
I slobbered. Lord, I dreamt of Stella, etc., so confusedly last night, and
that we saw Dean Bolton[19] and Sterne[20] go into a shop: and she bid me
call them to her, and they proved to be two parsons I know not; and I walked
without till she was shifting, and such stuff, mixed with much melancholy and
uneasiness, and things not as they should be, and I know not how: and it is
now an ugly gloomy morning.--At night. Mr. Addison and I dined with Ned
Southwell, and walked in the Park; and at the Coffee-house I found a letter
from the Bishop of Clogher, and a packet from MD. I opened the Bishop's
letter; but put up MD's, and visited a lady just come to town; and am now got
into bed, and going to open your little letter: and God send I may find MD
well, and happy, and merry, and that they love Presto as they do fires. Oh, I
will not open it yet! yes I will! no I will not! I am going; I cannot stay
till I turn over.[21] What shall I do? My fingers itch; and now I have it in
my left hand; and now I will open it this very moment.--I have just got it,
and am cracking the seal, and cannot imagine what is in it; I fear only some
letter from a bishop, and it comes too late; I shall employ nobody's credit
but my own. Well, I see though-- Pshaw, 'tis from Sir Andrew Fountaine.
What, another! I fancy that's from Mrs. Barton;[22] she told me she would
write to me; but she writes a better hand than this: I wish you would
inquire; it must be at Dawson's[23] office at the Castle. I fear this is from
Patty Rolt, by the scrawl. Well, I will read MD's letter. Ah, no; it is from
poor Lady Berkeley, to invite me to Berkeley Castle this winter; and now it
grieves my heart: she says, she hopes my lord is in a fair way of
recovery;[24] poor lady! Well, now I go to MD's letter: faith, it is all
right; I hoped it was wrong. Your letter, N.3, that I have now received, is
dated Sept. 26; and Manley's letter, that I had five days ago, was dated Oct.
3, that's a fortnight difference: I doubt it has lain in Steele's office, and
he forgot. Well, there's an end of that: he is turned out of his place;[25]
and you must desire those who send me packets, to enclose them in a paper
directed to Mr. Addison, at St. James's Coffee-house: not common letters, but
packets: the Bishop of Clogher may mention it to the Archbishop when he sees
him. As for your letter, it makes me mad: slidikins, I have been the best
boy in Christendom, and you come with your two eggs a penny.--Well; but stay,
I will look over my book: adad, I think there was a chasm between my N.2 and
N.3. Faith, I will not promise to write to you every week; but I will write
every night, and when it is full I will send it; that will be once in ten
days, and that will be often enough: and if you begin to take up the way of
writing to Presto, only because it is Tuesday, a Monday bedad it will grow a
task; but write when you have a mind.--No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no--Agad,
agad, agad, agad, agad, agad; no, poor Stellakins.[26] Slids, I would the
horse were in your--chamber! Have not I ordered Parvisol to obey your
directions about him? And han't I said in my former letters that you may
pickle him, and boil him, if you will? What do you trouble me about your
horses for? Have I anything to do with them?--Revolutions a hindrance to me
in my business? Revolutions to me in my business? If it were not for the
revolutions, I could do nothing at all; and now I have all hopes possible,
though one is certain of nothing; but to-morrow I am to have an answer, and am
promised an effectual one. I suppose I have said enough in this and a former
letter how I stand with new people; ten times better than ever I did with the
old; forty times more caressed. I am to dine to-morrow at Mr. Harley's; and
if he continues as he has begun, no man has been ever better treated by
another. What you say about Stella's mother, I have spoken enough to it
already. I believe she is not in town; for I have not yet seen her. My
lampoon is cried up to the skies; but nobody suspects me for it, except Sir
Andrew Fountaine: at least they say nothing of it to me. Did not I tell you
of a great man who received me very coldly?[27] That's he; but say nothing;
'twas only a little revenge. I will remember to bring it over. The Bishop of
Clogher has smoked my Tatler,[28] about shortening of words, etc. But, God
So![29] etc.
15. I will write plainer if I can remember it; for Stella must not spoil her
eyes, and Dingley can't read my hand very well; and I am afraid my letters are
too long: then you must suppose one to be two, and read them at twice. I
dined to-day with Mr. Harley: Mr. Prior[30] dined with us. He has left my
memorial with the Queen, who has consented to give the First-Fruits and
Twentieth Parts,[31] and will, we hope, declare it to-morrow in the Cabinet.
But I beg you to tell it to no person alive; for so I am ordered, till in
public: and I hope to get something of greater value. After dinner came in
Lord Peterborow:[32] we renewed our acquaintance, and he grew mightily fond
of me. They began to talk of a paper of verses called "Sid Hamet." Mr.
Harley repeated part, and then pulled them out, and gave them to a gentleman
at the table to read, though they had all read them often. Lord Peterborow
would let nobody read them but himself: so he did; and Mr. Harley bobbed[33]
me at every line, to take notice of the beauties. Prior rallied Lord
Peterborow for author of them; and Lord Peterborow said he knew them to be
his; and Prior then turned it upon me, and I on him. I am not guessed at all
in town to be the author; yet so it is: but that is a secret only to you.[34]
Ten to one whether you see them in Ireland; yet here they run prodigiously.
Harley presented me to Lord President of Scotland,[35] and Mr. Benson,[36]
Lord of the Treasury. Prior and I came away at nine, and sat at the
Smyrna[37] till eleven, receiving acquaintance.
16. This morning early I went in a chair, and Patrick before it, to Mr.
Harley, to give him another copy of my memorial, as he desired; but he was
full of business, going to the Queen, and I could not see him; but he desired
I would send up the paper, and excused himself upon his hurry. I was a little
baulked; but they tell me it is nothing. I shall judge by next visit. I
tipped his porter with half a crown; and so I am well there for a time at
least. I dined at Stratford's in the City, and had Burgundy and Tokay: came
back afoot like a scoundrel: then went with Mr. Addison and supped with Lord
Mountjoy, which made me sick all night. I forgot that I bought six pounds of
chocolate for Stella, and a little wooden box; and I have a great piece of
Brazil tobacco for Dingley,[38] and a bottle of palsy-water[39] for Stella:
all which, with the two handkerchiefs that Mr. Sterne has bought, and you must
pay him for, will be put in the box, directed to Mrs. Curry's, and sent by Dr.
Hawkshaw,[40] whom I have not seen; but Sterne has undertaken it. The
chocolate is a present, madam, for Stella. Don't read this, you little rogue,
with your little eyes; but give it to Dingley, pray now; and I will write as
plain as the skies: and let Dingley write Stella's part, and Stella dictate
to her, when she apprehends her eyes, etc.
17. This letter should have gone this post, if I had not been taken up with
business, and two nights being late out; so it must stay till Thursday. I
dined to-day with your Mr. Sterne,[41] by invitation, and drank Irish
wine;[42] but, before we parted, there came in the prince of puppies, Colonel
Edgworth;[43] so I went away. This day came out the Tatler, made up wholly of
my "Shower," and a preface to it. They say it is the best thing I ever writ,
and I think so too. I suppose the Bishop of Clogher will show it you. Pray
tell me how you like it. Tooke is going on with my Miscellany.[44] I'd give a
penny the letter to the Bishop of Killaloe[45] was in it: 'twould do him
honour. Could not you contrive to say, you hear they are printing my things
together; and that you with the bookseller had that letter among the rest:
but don't say anything of it as from me. I forget whether it was good or no;
but only having heard it much commended, perhaps it may deserve it. Well, I
have to-morrow to finish this letter in, and then I will send it next day. I
am so vexed that you should write your third to me, when you had but my
second, and I had written five, which now I hope you have all: and so I tell
you, you are saucy, little, pretty, dear rogues, etc.
18. To-day I dined, by invitation, with Stratford and others, at a young
merchant's in the City, with Hermitage and Tokay, and stayed till nine, and am
now come home. And that dog Patrick is abroad, and drinking, and I cannot I
get my night-gown. I have a mind to turn that puppy away: he has been drunk
ten times in three weeks. But I han't time to say more; so good-night, etc.
19. I am come home from dining in the city with Mr. Addison, at a merchant's;
and just now, at the Coffee-house, we have notice that the Duke of Ormond was
this day declared Lord Lieutenant at Hampton Court, in Council. I have not
seen Mr. Harley since; but hope the affair is done about First-Fruits. I will
see him, if possible, to-morrow morning; but this goes to-night. I have sent
a box to Mr. Sterne, to send to you by some friend: I have directed it for
Mr. Curry, at his house; so you have warning when it comes, as I hope it will
soon. The handkerchiefs will be put in some friend's pocket, not to pay
custom. And so here ends my sixth, sent when I had but three of MD's: now I
am beforehand, and will keep so; and God Almighty bless dearest MD, etc.
LETTER 7.
LONDON, Oct. 19, 1710.
Faith, I am undone! this paper is larger than the other, and yet I am
condemned to a sheet; but, since it is MD, I did not value though I were
condemned to a pair. I told you in my letter to-day where I had been, and how
the day passed; and so, etc.
20. To-day I went to Mr. Lewis, at the Secretary's office, to know when I
might see Mr. Harley; and by and by comes up Mr. Harley himself, and appoints
me to dine with him to-morrow. I dined with Mrs. Vanhomrigh,[1] and went to
wait on the two Lady Butlers;[2] but the porter answered they were not at
home: the meaning was, the youngest, Lady Mary, is to be married to-morrow to
Lord Ashburnham,[3] the best match now in England, twelve thousand pounds a
year, and abundance of money. Tell me how my "Shower" is liked in Ireland: I
never knew anything pass better here. I spent the evening with Wortley
Montagu[4] and Mr. Addison, over a bottle of Irish wine. Do they know
anything in Ireland of my greatness among the Tories? Everybody reproaches me
of it here; but I value them not. Have you heard of the verses about the "Rod
of Sid Hamet"? Say nothing of them for your life. Hardly anybody suspects me
for them; only they think nobody but Prior or I could write them. But I doubt
they have not reached you. There is likewise a ballad full of puns on the
Westminster Election,[5] that cost me half an hour: it runs, though it be
good for nothing. But this is likewise a secret to all but MD. If you have
them not, I will bring them over.
21. I got MD's fourth to-day at the Coffee-house. God Almighty bless poor,
dear Stella, and her eyes and head! What shall we do to cure them? poor, dear
life! Your disorders are a pull-back for your good qualities. Would to
Heaven I were this minute shaving your poor, dear head, either here or there!
Pray do not write, nor read this letter, nor anything else; and I will write
plainer for Dingley to read from henceforward, though my pen is apt to ramble
when I think whom I am writing to. I will not answer your letter until I tell
you that I dined this day with Mr. Harley, who presented me to the Earl of
Stirling,[6] a Scotch lord; and in the evening came in Lord Peterborow. I
stayed till nine before Mr. Harley would let me go, or tell me anything of my
affair. He says the Queen has now granted the First-Fruits and Twentieth
Parts; but he will not give me leave to write to the Archbishop, because the
Queen designs to signify it to the Bishops in Ireland in form; and to take
notice, that it was done upon a memorial from me; which, Mr. Harley tells me
he does to make it look more respectful to me, etc.; and I am to see him on
Tuesday. I know not whether I told you that, in my memorial which was given
to the Queen, I begged for two thousand pounds a year more, though it was not
in my commission; but that, Mr. Harley says, cannot yet be done, and that he
and I must talk of it further: however, I have started it, and it may follow
in time. Pray say nothing of the First-Fruits being granted, unless I give
leave at the bottom of this. I believe never anything was compassed so soon,
and purely done by my personal credit with Mr. Harley, who is so excessively
obliging, that I know not what to make of it, unless to show the rascals of
the other party that they used a man unworthily who had deserved better. The
memorial given to the Queen from me speaks with great plainness of Lord
Wharton. I believe this business is as important to you as the Convocation
disputes from Tisdall.[7] I hope in a month or two all the forms of settling
this matter will be over; and then I shall have nothing to do here. I will
only add one foolish thing more, because it is just come into my head. When
this thing is made known, tell me impartially whether they give any of the
merit to me, or no; for I am sure I have so much, that I will never take it
upon me.--Insolent sluts! because I say Dublin, Ireland, therefore you must
say London, England: that is Stella's malice.--Well, for that I will not
answer your letter till to-morrow-day, and so and so: I will go write
something else, and it will not be much; for 'tis late.
22. I was this morning with Mr. Lewis, the under-secretary to Lord Dartmouth,
two hours, talking politics, and contriving to keep Steele in his office of
stamped paper: he has lost his place of Gazetteer, three hundred pounds a
year, for writing a Tatler,[8] some months ago, against Mr. Harley, who gave
it him at first, and raised the salary from sixty to three hundred pounds.
This was devilish ungrateful; and Lewis was telling me the particulars: but I
had a hint given me, that I might save him in the other employment: and leave
was given me to clear matters with Steele. Well, I dined with Sir Matthew
Dudley, and in the evening went to sit with Mr. Addison, and offer the matter
at distance to him, as the discreeter person; but found party had so possessed
him, that he talked as if he suspected me, and would not fall in with anything
I said. So I stopped short in my overture, and we parted very drily; and I
shall say nothing to Steele, and let them do as they will; but, if things
stand as they are, he will certainly lose it, unless I save him; and therefore
I will not speak to him, that I may not report to his disadvantage. Is not
this vexatious? and is there so much in the proverb of proffered service?
When shall I grow wise? I endeavour to act in the most exact points of honour
and conscience; and my nearest friends will not understand it so. What must a
man expect from his enemies? This would vex me, but it shall not; and so I
bid you good-night, etc.
23. I know 'tis neither wit nor diversion to tell you every day where I dine;
neither do I write it to fill my letter; but I fancy I shall, some time or
other, have the curiosity of seeing some particulars how I passed my life when
I was absent from MD this time; and so I tell you now that I dined to-day at
Molesworth's, the Florence Envoy, then went to the Coffee-house, where I
behaved myself coldly enough to Mr. Addison, and so came home to scribble. We
dine together to-morrow and next day by invitation; but I shall alter my
behaviour to him, till he begs my pardon, or else we shall grow bare
acquaintance. I am weary of friends; and friendships are all monsters, but
MD's.
24. I forgot to tell you, that last night I went to Mr. Harley's, hoping--
faith, I am blundering, for it was this very night at six; and I hoped he
would have told me all things were done and granted: but he was abroad, and
came home ill, and was gone to bed, much out of order, unless the porter lied.
I dined to-day at Sir Matthew Dudley's, with Mr. Addison, etc.
25. I was to-day to see the Duke of Ormond; and, coming out, met Lord
Berkeley of Stratton,[9] who told me that Mrs. Temple,[10] the widow, died
last Saturday, which, I suppose, is much to the outward grief and inward joy
of the family. I dined to-day with Addison and Steele, and a sister of Mr.
Addison, who is married to one Mons. Sartre,[11] a Frenchman, prebendary of
Westminster, who has a delicious house and garden; yet I thought it was a sort
of monastic life in those cloisters, and I liked Laracor better. Addison's
sister is a sort of a wit, very like him. I am not fond of her, etc.
26. I was to-day to see Mr. Congreve,[12] who is almost blind with cataracts
growing on his eyes; and his case is, that he must wait two or three years,
until the cataracts are riper, and till he is quite blind, and then he must
have them couched; and, besides, he is never rid of the gout, yet he looks
young and fresh, and is as cheerful as ever. He is younger by three years or
more than I; and I am twenty years younger than he. He gave me a pain in the
great toe, by mentioning the gout. I find such suspicions frequently, but
they go off again. I had a second letter from Mr. Morgan,[13] for which I
thank you: I wish you were whipped, for forgetting to send him that answer I
desired you in one of my former, that I could do nothing for him of what he
desired, having no credit at all, etc. Go, be far enough, you negligent
baggages. I have had also a letter from Parvisol, with an account how my
livings are set; and that they are fallen, since last year, sixty pounds. A
comfortable piece of news! He tells me plainly that he finds you have no mind
to part with the horse, because you sent for him at the same time you sent him
my letter; so that I know not what must be done. It is a sad thing that
Stella must have her own horse, whether Parvisol will or no. So now to answer
your letter that I had three or four days ago. I am not now in bed, but am
come home by eight; and, it being warm, I write up. I never writ to the
Bishop of Killala, which, I suppose, was the reason he had not my letter. I
have not time, there is the short of it.--As fond as the Dean[14] is of my
letter, he has not written to me. I would only know whether Dean Bolton[15]
paid him the twenty pounds; and for the rest, he may kiss--And that you may
ask him, because I am in pain about it, that Dean Bolton is such a whipster.
'Tis the most obliging thing in the world in Dean Sterne to be so kind to you.
I believe he knows it will please me, and makes up, that way, his other
usage.[16] No, we have had none of your snow, but a little one morning; yet I
think it was great snow for an hour or so, but no longer. I had heard of Will
Crowe's[17] death before, but not the foolish circumstance that hastened his
end. No, I have taken care that Captain Pratt[18] shall not suffer by Lord
Anglesea's death.[19] I will try some contrivance to get a copy of my picture
from Jervas. I will make Sir Andrew Fountaine buy one as for himself, and I
will pay him again, and take it, that is, provided I have money to spare when
I leave this.--Poor John! is he gone? and Madam Parvisol[20] has been in town!
Humm. Why, Tighe[21] and I, when he comes, shall not take any notice of each
other; I would not do it much in this town, though we had not fallen out.--I
was to-day at Mr. Sterne's lodging: he was not within; and Mr. Leigh is not
come to town; but I will do Dingley's errand when I see him. What do I know
whether china be dear or no? I once took a fancy of resolving to grow mad for
it, but now it is off; I suppose I told you in some former letter. And so you
only want some salad-dishes, and plates, and etc. Yes, yes, you shall. I
suppose you have named as much as will cost five pounds.--Now to Stella's
little postscript; and I am almost crazed that you vex yourself for not
writing. Cannot you dictate to Dingley, and not strain your little, dear
eyes? I am sure it is the grief of my soul to think you are out of order.
Pray be quiet; and, if you will write, shut your eyes, and write just a line,
and no more, thus, "How do you do, Mrs. Stella?" That was written with my
eyes shut. Faith, I think it is better than when they are open: and then
Dingley may stand by, and tell you when you go too high or too low.--My
letters of business, with packets, if there be any more occasion for such,
must be enclosed to Mr. Addison, at St. James's Coffee-house: but I hope to
hear, as soon as I see Mr. Harley, that the main difficulties are over, and
that the rest will be but form.--Take two or three nutgalls, take two or three
---galls, stop your receipt in your--I have no need on't. Here is a clutter!
Well, so much for your letter, which I will now put up in my letter-partition
in my cabinet, as I always do every letter as soon as I answer it. Method is
good in all things. Order governs the world. The Devil is the author of
confusion. A general of an army, a minister of state; to descend lower, a
gardener, a weaver, etc. That may make a fine observation, if you think it
worth finishing; but I have not time. Is not this a terrible long piece for
one evening? I dined to-day with Patty Rolt at my cousin Leach's,[22] with a
pox, in the City: he is a printer, and prints the Postman, oh hoo, and is my
cousin, God knows how, and he married Mrs. Baby Aires of Leicester; and my
cousin Thomson was with us: and my cousin Leach offers to bring me acquainted
with the author of the Postman;[23] and says he does not doubt but the
gentleman will be glad of my acquaintance; and that he is a very ingenious
man, and a great scholar, and has been beyond sea. But I was modest and said,
may be the gentleman was shy, and not fond of new acquaintance; and so put it
off: and I wish you could hear me repeating all I have said of this in its
proper tone, just as I am writing it. It is all with the same cadence with
"Oh hoo," or as when little girls say, "I have got an apple, miss, and I won't
give you some." It is plaguy twelvepenny weather this last week, and has cost
me ten shillings in coach and chair hire. If the fellow that has your money
will pay it, let me beg you to buy Bank Stock with it, which is fallen near
thirty per cent. and pays eight pounds per cent. and you have the principal
when you please: it will certainly soon rise. I would to God Lady Giffard
would put in the four hundred pounds she owes you,[24] and take the five per
cent. common interest, and give you the remainder. I will speak to your
mother about it when I see her. I am resolved to buy three hundred pounds of
it for myself, and take up what I have in Ireland; and I have a contrivance
for it, that I hope will do, by making a friend of mine buy it as for himself,
and I will pay him when I can get in my money. I hope Stratford will do me
that kindness. I'll ask him tomorrow or next day.
