27. Mr. Rowe[25] the poet desired me to dine with him to-day. I went to his
office (he is under-secretary in Mr. Addison's place that he had in England),
and there was Mr. Prior; and they both fell commending my "Shower" beyond
anything that has been written of the kind: there never was such a "Shower"
since Danae's, etc. You must tell me how it is liked among you. I dined with
Rowe; Prior could not come: and after dinner we went to a blind tavern,[26]
where Congreve, Sir Richard Temple,[27] Estcourt,[28] and Charles Main,[29]
were over a bowl of bad punch. The knight sent for six flasks of his own wine
for me, and we stayed till twelve. But now my head continues pretty well; I
have left off my drinking, and only take a spoonful mixed with water, for fear
of the gout, or some ugly distemper; and now, because it is late, I will, etc.
28. Garth and Addison and I dined to-day at a hedge[30] tavern; then I went
to Mr. Harley, but he was denied, or not at home: so I fear I shall not hear
my business is done before this goes. Then I visited Lord Pembroke,[31] who
is just come to town; and we were very merry talking of old things; and I hit
him with one pun. Then I went to see the Ladies Butler, and the son of a
whore of a porter denied them: so I sent them a threatening message by
another lady, for not excepting me always to the porter. I was weary of the
Coffee-house, and Ford[32] desired me to sit with him at next door; which I
did, like a fool, chatting till twelve, and now am got into bed. I am afraid
the new Ministry is at a terrible loss about money: the Whigs talk so, it
would give one the spleen; and I am afraid of meeting Mr. Harley out of
humour. They think he will never carry through this undertaking. God knows
what will come of it. I should be terribly vexed to see things come round
again: it will ruin the Church and clergy for ever; but I hope for better. I
will send this on Tuesday, whether I hear any further news of my affair or
not.
29. Mr. Addison and I dined to-day with Lord Mountjoy; which is all the
adventures of this day.--I chatted a while to-night in the Coffee-house, this
being a full night; and now am come home, to write some business.
30. I dined to-day at Mrs. Vanhomrigh's, and sent a letter to poor Mrs.
Long,[33] who writes to us, but is God knows where, and will not tell anybody
the place of her residence. I came home early, and must go write.
31. The month ends with a fine day; and I have been walking, and visiting
Lewis, and concerting where to see Mr. Harley. I have no news to send you.
Aire,[34] they say, is taken, though the Whitehall letters this morning say
quite the contrary: 'tis good, if it be true. I dined with Mr. Addison and
Dick Stewart, Lord Mountjoy's brother;[35] a treat of Addison's. They were
half-fuddled, but not I; for I mixed water with my wine, and left them
together between nine and ten; and I must send this by the bellman, which
vexes me, but I will put it off no longer. Pray God it does not miscarry. I
seldom do so; but I can put off little MD no longer. Pray give the under note
to Mrs. Brent.
I am a pretty gentleman; and you lose all your money at cards, sirrah Stella.
I found you out; I did so.
I am staying before I can fold up this letter, till that ugly D is dry in the
last line but one. Do not you see it? O Lord, I am loth to leave you, faith-
-but it must be so, till the next time. Pox take that D; I will blot it, to
dry it.
LETTER 8.
LONDON, Oct. 31, 1710.
So, now I have sent my seventh to your fourth, young women; and now I will
tell you what I would not in my last, that this morning, sitting in my bed, I
had a fit of giddiness: the room turned round for about a minute, and then it
went off, leaving me sickish, but not very: and so I passed the day as I told
you; but I would not end a letter with telling you this, because it might vex
you: and I hope in God I shall have no more of it. I saw Dr. Cockburn[1] to-
day, and he promises to send me the pills that did me good last year; and
likewise has promised me an oil for my ear, that he has been making for that
ailment for somebody else.
Nov. 1. I wish MD a merry new year. You know this is the first day of it
with us.[2] I had no giddiness to-day; but I drank brandy, and have bought a
pint for two shillings. I sat up the night before my giddiness pretty late,
and writ very much; so I will impute it to that. But I never eat fruit, nor
drink ale; but drink better wine than you do, as I did to-day with Mr. Addison
at Lord Mountjoy's: then went at five to see Mr. Harley, who could not see me
for much company; but sent me his excuse, and desired I would dine with him on
Friday; and then I expect some answer to this business, which must either be
soon done, or begun again; and then the Duke of Ormond and his people will
interfere for their honour, and do nothing. I came home at six, and spent my
time in my chamber, without going to the Coffee-house, which I grow weary of;
and I studied at leisure, writ not above forty lines, some inventions of my
own, and some hints, and read not at all, and this because I would take care
of Presto, for fear little MD should be angry.
2. I took my four pills last night, and they lay an hour in my throat, and so
they will do to-night. I suppose I could swallow four affronts as easily. I
dined with Dr. Cockburn to-day, and came home at seven; but Mr. Ford has been
with me till just now, and it is near eleven. I have had no giddiness to-day.
Mr. Dopping[3] I have seen; and he tells me coldly, my "Shower" is liked well
enough; there's your Irish judgment! I writ this post to the Bishop of
Clogher. It is now just a fortnight since I heard from you. I must have you
write once a fortnight, and then I will allow for wind and weather. How goes
ombre? Does Mrs. Walls[4] win constantly, as she used to do? And Mrs.
Stoyte;[5] I have not thought of her this long time: how does she? I find we
have a cargo of Irish coming for London: I am sorry for it; but I never go
near them. And Tighe is landed; but Mrs. Wesley,[6] they say, is going home
to her husband, like a fool. Well, little monkeys mine, I must go write; and
so goodnight.
3. I ought to read these letters I write, after I have done; for, looking
over thus much, I found two or three literal mistakes, which should not be
when the hand is so bad. But I hope it does not puzzle little Dingley to
read, for I think I mend: but methinks, when I write plain, I do not know
how, but we are not alone, all the world can see us. A bad scrawl is so snug,
it looks like a PMD.[7] We have scurvy Tatlers of late: so pray do not
suspect me. I have one or two hints I design to send him, and never any more:
he does not deserve it. He is governed by his wife most abominably,[8] as bad
as ----. I never saw her since I came; nor has he ever made me an invitation:
either he dares not, or is such a thoughtless Tisdall[9] fellow, that he never
minds[10] it. So what care I for his wit? for he is the worst company in the
world, till he has a bottle of wine in his head. I cannot write straighter in
bed, so you must be content.--At night in bed. Stay, let me see where's this
letter to MD among these papers? Oh! here. Well, I will go on now; but I am
very busy (smoke the new pen.) I dined with Mr. Harley to-day, and am invited
there again on Sunday. I have now leave to write to the Primate and
Archbishop of Dublin, that the Queen has granted the First-Fruits; but they
are to take no notice of it, till a letter is sent them by the Queen's orders
from Lord Dartmouth, Secretary of State, to signify it. The bishops are to be
made a corporation, to dispose of the revenue, etc.; and I shall write to the
Archbishop of Dublin to-morrow (I have had no giddiness to-day). I know not
whether they will have any occasion for me longer to be here; nor can I judge
till I see what letter the Queen sends to the bishops, and what they will do
upon it. If despatch be used, it may be done in six weeks; but I cannot
judge. They sent me to-day a new Commission, signed by the Primate and
Archbishop of Dublin,[11] and promise me letters to the two archbishops here;
but mine a ---- for it all. The thing is done, and has been so these ten
days; though I had only leave to tell it to-day. I had this day likewise a
letter from the Bishop of Clogher, who complains of my not writing; and, what
vexes me, says he knows you have long letters from me every week. Why do you
tell him so? 'Tis not right, faith: but I won't be angry with MD at
distance. I writ to him last post, before I had his; and will write again
soon, since I see he expects it, and that Lord and Lady Mountjoy[12] put him
off upon me, to give themselves ease. Lastly, I had this day a letter from a
certain naughty rogue called MD, and it was N. 5; which I shall not answer to-
night, I thank you. No, faith, I have other fish to fry; but to-morrow or
next day will be time enough. I have put MD's commissions in a memorandum
paper. I think I have done all before, and remember nothing but this to-day
about glasses and spectacles and spectacle cases. I have no commission from
Stella, but the chocolate and handkerchiefs; and those are bought, and I
expect they will be soon sent. I have been with, and sent to, Mr. Sterne, two
or three times to know; but he was not within. Odds my life, what am I doing?
I must go write and do business.
4. I dined to-day at Kensington, with Addison, Steele, etc., came home, and
writ a short letter to the Archbishop of Dublin, to let him know the Queen has
granted the thing, etc. I writ in the Coffee-house, for I stayed at
Kensington till nine, and am plaguy weary; for Colonel Proud[13] was very ill
company, and I will never be of a party with him again; and I drank punch, and
that and ill company has made me hot.
5. I was with Mr. Harley from dinner to seven this night, and went to the
Coffee-house, where Dr. Davenant[14] would fain have had me gone and drink a
bottle of wine at his house hard by, with Dr. Chamberlen,[15] but the puppy
used so many words, that I was afraid of his company; and though we promised
to come at eight, I sent a messenger to him, that Chamberlen was going to a
patient, and therefore we would put it off till another time: so he, and the
Comptroller,[16] and I, were prevailed on by Sir Matthew Dudley to go to his
house, where I stayed till twelve, and left them. Davenant has been teasing
me to look over some of his writings that he is going to publish; but the
rogue is so fond of his own productions, that I hear he will not part with a
syllable; and he has lately put out a foolish pamphlet, called The Third Part
of Tom Double; to make his court to the Tories, whom he had left.
6. I was to-day gambling[17] in the City to see Patty Rolt, who is going to
Kingston, where she lodges; but, to say the truth, I had a mind for a walk to
exercise myself, and happened to be disengaged: for dinners are ten times
more plentiful with me here than ever, or than in Dublin. I won't answer your
letter yet, because I am busy. I hope to send this before I have another from
MD: it would be a sad thing to answer two letters together, as MD does from
Presto. But when the two sides are full, away the letter shall go, that is
certain, like it or not like it; and that will be about three days hence, for
the answering-night will be a long one.
7. I dined to-day at Sir Richard Temple's, with Congreve, Vanbrugh,
Lieutenant-General Farrington,[18] etc. Vanbrugh, I believe I told you, had a
long quarrel with me about those verses on his house;[19] but we were very
civil and cold. Lady Marlborough used to tease him with them, which had made
him angry, though he be a good-natured fellow. It was a Thanksgiving-day,[20]
and I was at Court, where the Queen passed us by with all Tories about her;
not one Whig: Buckingham,[21] Rochester,[22] Leeds,[23] Shrewsbury, Berkeley
of Stratton, Lord Keeper Harcourt, Mr. Harley, Lord Pembroke, etc.; and I have
seen her without one Tory. The Queen made me a curtsey, and said, in a sort
of familiar way to Presto, "How does MD?" I considered she was a Queen, and
so excused her.[24] I do not miss the Whigs at Court; but have as many
acquaintance there as formerly.
8. Here's ado and a clutter! I must now answer MD's fifth; but first you
must know I dined at the Portugal Envoy's[25] to-day, with Addison, Vanbrugh,
Admiral Wager,[26] Sir Richard Temple,[27] Methuen,[28] etc. I was weary of
their company, and stole away at five, and came home like a good boy, and
studied till ten, and had a fire, O ho! and now am in bed. I have no
fireplace in my bed-chamber; but 'tis very warm weather when one's in bed.
Your fine cap,[29] Madam Dingley, is too little, and too hot: I will have
that fur taken off; I wish it were far enough; and my old velvet cap is good
for nothing. Is it velvet under the fur? I was feeling, but cannot find: if
it be, 'twill do without it else I will face it; but then I must buy new
velvet: but may be I may beg a piece. What shall I do? Well, now to rogue
MD's letter. God be thanked for Stella's eyes mending; and God send it holds;
but faith you writ too much at a time: better write less, or write it at ten
times. Yes, faith, a long letter in a morning from a dear friend is a dear
thing. I smoke a compliment, little mischievous girls, I do so. But who are
those WIGGS that think I am turned Tory? Do you mean Whigs? Which WIGGS and
WAT do you mean? I know nothing of Raymond, and only had one letter from him
a little after I came here.[Pray remember Morgan.) Raymond is indeed like to
have much influence over me in London, and to share much of my conversation.
I shall, no doubt, introduce him to Harley, and Lord Keeper, and the Secretary
of State. The Tatler upon Ithuriel's spear[30] is not mine, madam. What a
puzzle there is betwixt you and your judgment! In general you may be
sometimes sure of things, as that about STYLE,[31] because it is what I have
frequently spoken of; but guessing is mine a----, and I defy mankind, if I
please. Why, I writ a pamphlet when I was last in London, that you and a
thousand have seen, and never guessed it to be mine. Could you have guessed
the "Shower in Town" to be mine? How chance you did not see that before your
last letter went? but I suppose you in Ireland did not think it worth
mentioning. Nor am I suspected for the lampoon; only Harley said he smoked
me; (have I told you so before?) and some others knew it. 'Tis called "The
Rod of Sid Hamet." And I have written several other things that I hear
commended, and nobody suspects me for them; nor you shall not know till I see
you again. What do you mean, "That boards near me, that I dine with now and
then?" I know no such person: I do not dine with boarders. What the pox!
You know whom I have dined with every day since I left you, better than I do.
What do you mean, sirrah? Slids, my ailment has been over these two months
almost. Impudence, if you vex me, I will give ten shillings a week for my
lodging; for I am almost st--k out of this with the sink, and it helps me to
verses in my "Shower."[32] Well, Madam Dingley, what say you to the world to
come? What ballad? Why go look, it was not good for much: have patience
till I come back: patience is a gay thing as, etc. I hear nothing of Lord
Mountjoy's coming for Ireland. When is Stella's birthday? in March? Lord
bless me, my turn at Christ Church;[33] it is so natural to hear you write
about that, I believe you have done it a hundred times; it is as fresh in my
mind, the verger coming to you; and why to you? Would he have you preach for
me? O, pox on your spelling of Latin, Johnsonibus atque, that is the way.
How did the Dean get that name by the end? 'Twas you betrayed me: not I,
faith; I'll not break his head. Your mother is still in the country, I
suppose; for she promised to see me when she came to town. I writ to her four
days ago, to desire her to break it to Lady Giffard, to put some money for you
in the Bank, which was then fallen thirty per cent. Would to God mine had
been here, I should have gained one hundred pounds, and got as good interest
as in Ireland, and much securer. I would fain have borrowed three hundred
pounds; but money is so scarce here, there is no borrowing, by this fall of
stocks. 'Tis rising now, and I knew it would: it fell from one hundred and
twenty-nine to ninety-six. I have not heard since from your mother. Do you
think I would be so unkind not to see her, that you desire me in a style so
melancholy? Mrs. Raymond,[34] you say, is with child: I am sorry for it; and
so is, I believe, her husband. Mr. Harley speaks all the kind things to me in
the world; and, I believe, would serve me, if I were to stay here; but I
reckon in time the Duke of Ormond may give me some addition to Laracor. Why
should the Whigs think I came to England to leave them? Sure my journey was
no secret. I protest sincerely, I did all I could to hinder it, as the Dean
can tell you, although now I do not repent it. But who the Devil cares what
they think? Am I under obligations in the least to any of them all? Rot 'em,
for ungrateful dogs; I will make them repent their usage before I leave this
place. They say here the same thing of my leaving the Whigs; but they own
they cannot blame me, considering the treatment I have had. I will take care
of your spectacles, as I told you before, and of the Bishop of Killala's; but
I will not write to him, I have not time. What do you mean by my fourth,
Madam Dinglibus? Does not Stella say you have had my fifth, Goody Blunder?
You frighted me till I looked back. Well, this is enough for one night. Pray
give my humble service to Mrs. Stoyte and her sister, Kate is it, or
Sarah?[35] I have forgot her name, faith. I think I will even (and to Mrs.
Walls and the Archdeacon) send this to-morrow: no, faith, that will be in ten
days from the last. I will keep it till Saturday, though I write no more.
But what if a letter from MD should come in the meantime? Why then I would
only say, "Madam, I have received your sixth letter; your most humble servant
to command, Presto"; and so conclude. Well, now I will write and think a
little, and so to bed, and dream of MD.
9. I have my mouth full of water, and was going to spit it out, because I
reasoned with myself, how could I write when my mouth was full? Han't you
done things like that, reasoned wrong at first thinking? Well, I was to see
Mr. Lewis this morning, and am to dine a few days hence, as he tells me, with
Mr. Secretary St. John; and I must contrive to see Harley soon again, to
hasten this business from the Queen. I dined to-day at Lord Mountrath's,[36]
with Lord Mountjoy,[37] etc.; but the wine was not good, so I came away,
stayed at the Coffee-house till seven, then came home to my fire, the
maidenhead of my second half-bushel, and am now in bed at eleven, as usual.
'Tis mighty warm; yet I fear I should catch cold this wet weather, if I sat an
evening in my room after coming from warm places: and I must make much of
myself, because MD is not here to take care of Presto; and I am full of
business, writing, etc., and do not care for the Coffee-house; and so this
serves for all together, not to tell it you over and over, as silly people do;
but Presto is a wiser man, faith, than so, let me tell you, gentlewomen. See,
I am got to the third side; but, faith, I will not do that often; but I must
say something early to-day, till the letter is done, and on Saturday it shall
go; so I must leave something till to-morrow, till to-morrow and next day.
10. O Lord, I would this letter was with you with all my heart! If it should
miscarry, what a deal would be lost! I forgot to leave a gap in the last line
but one for the seal, like a puppy; but I should have allowed for night,
goodnight; but when I am taking leave, I cannot leave a bit, faith; but I
fancy the seal will not come there. I dined to-day at Lady Lucy's, where they
ran down my "Shower"; and said, "Sid Hamet" was the silliest poem they ever
read; and told Prior so, whom they thought to be author of it. Don't you
wonder I never dined there before? But I am too busy, and they live too far
off; and, besides, I do not like women so much as I did. (MD, you must know,
are not women.) I supped to-night at Addison's, with Garth, Steele, and Mr.
Dopping; and am come home late. Lewis has sent to me to desire I will dine
with some company I shall like. I suppose it is Mr. Secretary St. John's
appointment. I had a letter just now from Raymond, who is at Bristol, and
says he will be at London in a fortnight, and leave his wife behind him; and
desires any lodging in the house where I am: but that must not be. I shall
not know what to do with him in town: to be sure, I will not present him to
any acquaintance of mine; and he will live a delicate life, a parson and a
perfect stranger! Paaast twelvvve o'clock,[38] and so good-night, etc. Oh!
but I forgot, Jemmy Leigh is come to town; says he has brought Dingley's
things, and will send them with the first convenience. My parcel, I hear, is
not sent yet. He thinks of going for Ireland in a month, etc. I cannot write
tomorrow, because--what, because of the Archbishop; because I will seal my
letter early; because I am engaged from noon till night; because of many kind
of things; and yet I will write one or two words to-morrow morning, to keep up
my journal constant, and at night I will begin my ninth.
11. Morning by candlelight. You must know that I am in my nightgown every
morning between six and seven, and Patrick is forced to ply me fifty times
before I can get on my nightgown; and so now I will take my leave of my own
dear MD for this letter, and begin my next when I come home at night. God
Almighty bless and protect dearest MD. Farewell, etc.
This letter's as long as a sermon, faith.
LETTER 9.
LONDON, Nov. 11, 1710.
I dined to-day, by invitation, with the Secretary of State, Mr. St. John. Mr.
Harley came in to us before dinner, and made me his excuses for not dining
with us, because he was to receive people who came to propose advancing money
to the Government: there dined with us only Mr. Lewis, and Dr. Freind[1]
(that writ "Lord Peterborow's Actions in Spain"). I stayed with them till
just now between ten and eleven, and was forced again to give my eighth to the
bellman, which I did with my own hands, rather than keep it till next post.
The Secretary used me with all the kindness in the world. Prior came in after
dinner; and, upon an occasion, he (the Secretary) said, "The best thing I ever
read is not yours, but Dr. Swift's on Vanbrugh"; which I do not reckon so very
good neither.[2] But Prior was damped, until I stuffed him with two or three
compliments. I am thinking what a veneration we used to have for Sir William
Temple, because he might have been Secretary of State at fifty; and here is a
young fellow, hardly thirty, in that employment.[3] His father is a man of
pleasure,[4] that walks the Mall, and frequents St. James's Coffee-house, and
the chocolate-houses; and the young son is principal Secretary of State. Is
there not something very odd in that? He told me, among other things, that
Mr. Harley complained he could keep nothing from me, I had the way so much of
getting into him. I knew that was a refinement; and so I told him, and it was
so: indeed, it is hard to see these great men use me like one who was their
betters, and the puppies with you in Ireland hardly regarding me: but there
are some reasons for all this, which I will tell you when we meet. At coming
home, I saw a letter from your mother, in answer to one I sent her two days
ago. It seems she is in town; but cannot come out in a morning, just as you
said; and God knows when I shall be at leisure in an afternoon: for if I
should send her a penny-post letter, and afterwards not be able to meet her,
it would vex me; and, besides, the days are short, and why she cannot come
early in a morning, before she is wanted, I cannot imagine. I will desire her
to let Lady Giffard know that she hears I am in town; and that she would go to
see me, to inquire after you. I wonder she will confine herself so much to
that old beast's humour. You know I cannot in honour see Lady Giffard, and
consequently not go into her house. This I think is enough for the first
time.
12. And how could you write with such thin paper? (I forgot to say this in
my former.) Cannot you get thicker? Why, that's a common caution that
writing-masters give their scholars; you must have heard it a hundred times.
'Tis this:
"If paper be thin,
Ink will slip in;
But, if it be thick,
You may write with a stick."[5]
I had a letter to-day from poor Mrs. Long,[6] giving me an account of her
present life, obscure in a remote country town, and how easy she is under it.
Poor creature! 'tis just such an alteration in life, as if Presto should be
banished from MD, and condemned to converse with Mrs. Raymond. I dined to-day
with Ford, Sir Richard Levinge,[7] etc., at a place where they board, hard by.
I was lazy, and not very well, sitting so long with company yesterday. I have
been very busy writing this evening at home, and had a fire: I am spending my
second half-bushel of coals; and now am in bed, and 'tis late.
13. I dined to-day in the City, and then went to christen Will Frankland's[8]
child; and Lady Falconbridge[9] was one of the godmothers: this is a daughter
of Oliver Cromwell, and extremely like him by his pictures that I have seen.
I stayed till almost eleven, and am now come home and gone to bed. My
business in the City was, to thank Stratford for a kindness he has done me,
which now I will tell you. I found Bank Stock was fallen thirty-four in the
hundred, and was mighty desirous to buy it; but I was a little too late for
the cheapest time, being hindered by business here; for I was so wise to guess
to a day when it would fall. My project was this: I had three hundred pounds
in Ireland; and so I writ to Mr. Stratford in the City, to desire he would buy
me three hundred pounds in Bank Stock, and that he should keep the papers, and
that I would be bound to pay him for them; and, if it should rise or fall, I
would take my chance, and pay him interest in the meantime. I showed my
letter to one or two people who understand those things; and they said money
was so hard to be got here, that no man would do it for me. However,
Stratford, who is the most generous man alive, has done it: but it costs one
hundred pounds and a half, that is, ten shillings; so that three hundred
pounds cost me three hundred pounds and thirty shillings. This was done about
a week ago, and I can have five pounds for my bargain already. Before it
fell, it was one hundred and thirty pounds; and we are sure it will be the
same again. I told you I writ to your mother, to desire that Lady Giffard
would do the same with what she owes you; but she tells your mother she has no
money. I would to God all you had in the world was there. Whenever you lend
money, take this rule, to have two people bound, who have both visible
fortunes; for they will hardly die together; and, when one dies, you fall upon
the other, and make him add another security: and if Rathburn (now I have his
name) pays you in your money, let me know, and I will direct Parvisol
accordingly: however, he shall wait on you and know. So, ladies, enough of
business for one night. Paaaaast twelvvve o'clock. I must only add, that,
after a long fit of rainy weather, it has been fair two or three days, and is
this day grown cold and frosty; so that you must give poor little Presto leave
to have a fire in his chamber morning and evening too; and he will do as much
for you.
14. What, has your Chancellor[10] lost his senses, like Will Crowe?[11] I
forgot to tell Dingley that I was yesterday at Ludgate, bespeaking the
spectacles at the great shop there, and shall have them in a day or two. This
has been an insipid day. I dined with Mrs. Vanhomrigh, and came gravely home,
after just visiting the Coffee-house. Sir Richard Cox,[12] they say, is sure
of going over Lord Chancellor, who is as arrant a puppy as ever ate bread:
but the Duke of Ormond has a natural affection to puppies; which is a thousand
pities, being none himself. I have been amusing myself at home till now, and
in bed bid you good-night.
15. I have been visiting this morning, but nobody was at home, Secretary St.
John, Sir Thomas Hanmer,[13] Sir Chancellor Cox-comb, etc. I attended the
Duke of Ormond with about fifty other Irish gentlemen at Skinners' Hall, where
the Londonderry Society laid out three hundred pounds to treat us and his
Grace with a dinner. Three great tables with the dessert laid in mighty
figure. Sir Richard Levinge and I got discreetly to the head of the second
table, to avoid the crowd at the first: but it was so cold, and so confounded
a noise with the trumpets and hautboys, that I grew weary, and stole away
before the second course came on; so I can give you no account of it, which is
a thousand pities. I called at Ludgate for Dingley's glasses, and shall have
them in a day or two; and I doubt it will cost me thirty shillings for a
microscope, but not without Stella's permission; for I remember she is a
virtuoso. Shall I buy it or no? 'Tis not the great bulky ones, nor the
common little ones, to impale a louse (saving your presence) upon a needle's
point; but of a more exact sort, and clearer to the sight, with all its
equipage in a little trunk that you may carry in your pocket. Tell me,
sirrah, shall I buy it or not for you? I came home straight, etc.
16. I dined to-day in the city with Mr. Manley,[14] who invited Mr. Addison
and me, and some other friends, to his lodging, and entertained us very
handsomely. I returned with Mr. Addison, and loitered till nine in the
Coffee-house, where I am hardly known, by going so seldom. I am here
soliciting for Trounce; you know him: he was gunner in the former yacht, and
would fain be so in the present one if you remember him, a good, lusty, fresh-
coloured fellow. Shall I stay till I get another letter from MD before I
close up this? Mr. Addison and I meet a little seldomer than formerly,
although we are still at bottom as good friends as ever, but differ a little
about party.
17. To-day I went to Lewis at the Secretary's office; where I saw and spoke
to Mr. Harley, who promised, in a few days, to finish the rest of my business.
I reproached him for putting me on the necessity of minding him of it, and
rallied him, etc., which he took very well. I dined to-day with one Mr. Gore,
elder brother to a young merchant of my acquaintance; and Stratford and my
other friend merchants dined with us, where I stayed late, drinking claret and
burgundy; and am just got to bed, and will say no more, but that it now begins
to be time to have a letter from my own little MD; for the last I had above a
fortnight ago, and the date was old too.
18. To-day I dined with Lewis and Prior at an eating-house, but with Lewis's
wine. Lewis went away, and Prior and I sat on, where we complimented one
another for an hour or two upon our mutual wit and poetry. Coming home at
seven, a gentleman unknown stopped me in the Pall Mall, and asked my advice;
said he had been to see the Queen (who was just come to town, and the people
in waiting would not let him see her; that he had two hundred thousand men
ready to serve her in the war; that he knew the Queen perfectly well, and had
an apartment at Court, and if she heard he was there, she would send for him
immediately; that she owed him two hundred thousand pounds, etc., and he
desired my opinion, whether he should go try again whether he could see her;
or because, perhaps, she was weary after her journey, whether he had not
better stay till to-morrow. I had a mind to get rid of my companion, and
begged him of all love to go and wait on her immediately; for that, to my
knowledge, the Queen would admit him; that this was an affair of great
importance, and required despatch: and I instructed him to let me know the
success of his business, and come to the Smyrna Coffee-house, where I would
wait for him till midnight; and so ended this adventure. I would have fain
given the man half a crown; but was afraid to offer it him, lest he should be
offended; for, beside his money, he said he had a thousand pounds a year. I
came home not early; and so, madams both, goodnight, etc.
19. I dined to-day with poor Lord Mountjoy, who is ill of the gout; and this
evening I christened our coffee-man Elliot's[15] child, where the rogue had a
most noble supper, and Steele and I sat among some scurvy company over a bowl
of punch; so that I am come home late, young women, and can't stay to write to
little rogues.
2O. I loitered at home, and dined with Sir Andrew Fountaine at his lodging,
and then came home: a silly day.
21. I was visiting all this morning, and then went to the Secretary's office,
and found Mr. Harley, with whom I dined; and Secretary St. John, etc., and
Harley promised in a very few days to finish what remains of my business.
Prior was of the company, and we all dine at the Secretary's to-morrow. I saw
Stella's mother this morning: she came early, and we talked an hour. I wish
you would propose to Lady Giffard to take the three hundred pounds out of her
hands, and give her common interest for life, and security that you will pay
her: the Bishop of Clogher, or any friend, would be security for you, if you
gave them counter-security; and it may be argued that it will pass better to
be in your hands than hers, in case of mortality, etc. Your mother says, if
you write, she will second it; and you may write to your mother, and then it
will come from her. She tells me Lady Giffard has a mind to see me, by her
discourse; but I told her what to say, with a vengeance. She told Lady
Giffard she was going to see me: she looks extremely well. I am writing[16]
in my bed like a tiger; and so good-night, etc.
22. I dined with Secretary St. John; and Lord Dartmouth, who is t'other
Secretary, dined with us, and Lord Orrery[17] and Prior, etc. Harley called,
but could not dine with us, and would have had me away while I was at dinner;
but I did not like the company he was to have. We stayed till eight, and I
called at the Coffee-house, and looked where the letters lie; but no letter
directed for Mr. Presto: at last I saw a letter to Mr. Addison, and it looked
like a rogue's hand; so I made the fellow give it me, and opened it before
him, and saw three letters all for myself: so, truly, I put them in my
pocket, and came home to my lodging. Well, and so you shall hear: well, and
so I found one of them in Dingley's hand, and t'other in Stella's, and the
third in Domville's.[18] Well, so you shall hear; so, said I to myself, What
now, two letters from MD together? But I thought there was something in the
wind; so I opened one, and I opened t'other; and so you shall hear, one was
from Walls. Well, but t'other was from our own dear MD; yes it was. O faith,
have you received my seventh, young women, already? Then I must send this
to-morrow, else there will be old[19] doings at our house, faith.--Well, I
won't answer your letter in this: no, faith, catch me at that, and I never
saw the like. Well; but as to Walls, tell him (with service to him and wife,
etc.) that I have no imagination of Mr. Pratt's[20] losing his place: and
while Pratt continues, Clements is in no danger; and I have already engaged
Lord Hyde[21] he speaks of, for Pratt and twenty others; but, if such a thing
should happen, I will do what I can. I have above ten businesses of other
people's now on my hands, and, I believe, shall miscarry in half. It is your
sixth I now have received. I writ last post to the Bishop of Clogher again.
Shall I send this to-morrow? Well, I will, to oblige MD. Which would you
rather, a short letter every week, or a long one every fortnight? A long
one; well, it shall be done, and so good-night. Well, but is this a long one?
No, I warrant you: too long for naughty girls.
23. I only ask, have you got both the ten pounds, or only the first; I hope
you mean both. Pray be good housewives; and I beg you to walk when you can,
for health. Have you the horse in town? and do you ever ride him? how often?
Confess. Ahhh, sirrah, have I caught you? Can you contrive to let Mrs.
Fenton[22] know, that the request she has made me in her letter I will use
what credit I have to bring about, although I hear it is very difficult, and I
doubt I shall not succeed? Cox is not to be your Chancellor: all joined
against him. I have been supping with Lord Peterborow at his house, with
Prior, Lewis, and Dr. Freind. 'Tis the ramblingest lying rogue on earth. Dr.
Raymond is come to town: 'tis late, and so I bid you good-night.
24. I tell you, pretty management! Ned Southwell told me the other day he
had a letter from the bishops of Ireland, with an address to the Duke of
Ormond, to intercede with the Queen to take off the First-Fruits. I dined
with him to-day, and saw it, with another letter to him from the Bishop of
Kildare,[23] to call upon me for the papers, etc.; and I had last post one
from the Archbishop of Dublin, telling me the reason of this proceeding; that,
upon hearing the Duke of Ormond was declared Lord Lieutenant, they met; and
the bishops were for this project, and talked coldly of my being solicitor, as
one that was favoured by t'other party, etc., but desired that I would still
solicit.[24] Now the wisdom of this is admirable; for I had given the
Archbishop an account of my reception from Mr. Harley, and how he had spoken
to the Queen, and promised it should be done; but Mr. Harley ordered me to
tell no person alive. Some time after, he gave me leave to let the Primate
and Archbishop know that the Queen had remitted the First-Fruits; and that in
a short time they should have an account of it in form from Lord Dartmouth,
Secretary of State. So while their letter was on the road to the Duke of
Ormond and Southwell, mine was going to them with an account of the thing
being done. I writ a very warm answer[25] to the Archbishop immediately; and
showed my resentments, as I ought, against the bishops; only, in good manners,
excepting himself. I wonder what they will say when they hear the thing is
done. I was yesterday forced to tell Southwell so, that the Queen had done
it, etc.; for he said, my Lord Duke would think of it some months hence, when
he was going for Ireland; and he had it three years in doing formerly, without
any success. I give you free leave to say, on occasion, that it is done; and
that Mr. Harley prevailed on the Queen to do it, etc., as you please. As I
hope to live, I despise the credit of it, out of an excess of pride; and
desire you will not give me the least merit when you talk of it; but I would
vex the bishops, and have it spread that Mr. Harley had done it: pray do so.
Your mother sent me last night a parcel of wax candles, and a bandbox full of
small plumcakes. I thought it had been something for you; and, without
opening them, sent answer by the maid that brought them, that I would take
care to send the things, etc.; but I will write her thanks. Is this a long
letter, sirrahs? Now, are you satisfied? I have had no fit since the
first: I drink brandy every morning, and take pills every night. Never fear,
I an't vexed at this puppy business of the bishops, although I was a little at
first. I will tell you my reward: Mr. Harley will think he has done me a
favour; the Duke of Ormond, perhaps, that I have put a neglect on him; and the
bishops in Ireland, that I have done nothing at all. So goes the world. But
I have got above all this, and, perhaps, I have better reason for it than they
know: and so you shall hear no more of First-Fruits, dukes, Harleys,
archbishops, and Southwells.
I have slipped off Raymond upon some of his countrymen, to show him the town,
etc., and I lend him Patrick. He desires to sit with me in the evenings; upon
which I have given Patrick positive orders that I am not within at evenings.
LETTER 10.
LONDON, Nov. 25, 1710.
I will tell you something that's plaguy silly: I had forgot to say on the 23d
in my last, where I dined; and because I had done it constantly, I thought it
was a great omission, and was going to interline it; but at last the silliness
of it made me cry, Pshah, and I let it alone. I was to-day to see the
Parliament meet; but only saw a great crowd; and Ford and I went to see the
tombs at Westminster, and sauntered so long I was forced to go to an eating-
house for my dinner. Bromley[1] is chosen Speaker, nemine contradicente: Do
you understand those two words? And Pompey, Colonel Hill's[2] black, designs
to stand Speaker for the footmen.[3] I am engaged to use my interest for him,
and have spoken to Patrick to get him some votes. We are now all impatient
for the Queen's speech, what she will say about removing the Ministry, etc. I
have got a cold, and I don't know how; but got it I have, and am hoarse: I
don't know whether it will grow better or worse. What's that to you? I
won't answer your letter to-night. I'll keep you a little longer in suspense:
I can't send it. Your mother's cakes are very good, and one of them serves me
for a breakfast, and so I'll go sleep like a good boy.
26. I have got a cruel cold, and stayed within all this day in my nightgown,
and dined on sixpennyworth of victuals, and read and writ, and was denied to
everybody. Dr. Raymond[4] called often, and I was denied; and at last, when I
was weary, I let him come up, and asked him, without consequence, how Patrick
denied me, and whether he had the art of it? So by this means he shall be
used to have me denied to him; otherwise he would be a plaguy trouble and
hindrance to me: he has sat with me two hours, and drank a pint of ale cost
me fivepence, and smoked his pipe, and it is now past eleven that he is just
gone. Well, my eighth is with you now, young women; and your seventh to me is
somewhere in a post-boy's bag; and so go to your gang of deans, and Stoytes,
and Walls, and lose your money; go, sauceboxes: and so good-night, and be
happy, dear rogues. Oh, but your box was sent to Dr. Hawkshaw by Sterne, and
you will have it with Hawkshaw, and spectacles, etc., etc.
27. To-day Mr. Harley met me in the Court of Requests,[5] and whispered me to
dine with him. At dinner I told him what those bishops had done, and the
difficulty I was under. He bid me never trouble myself; he would tell the
Duke of Ormond the business was done, and that he need not concern himself
about it. So now I am easy, and they may hang themselves for a parcel of
insolent, ungrateful rascals. I suppose I told you in my last, how they sent
an address to the Duke of Ormond, and a letter to Southwell, to call on me for
the papers, after the thing was over; but they had not received my letter,
though the Archbishop might, by what I writ to him, have expected it would be
done. Well, there is an end of that; and in a little time the Queen will send
them notice, etc. And so the methods will be settled; and then I shall think
of returning, although the baseness of those bishops makes me love Ireland
less than I did.
28. Lord Halifax sent to invite me to dinner; where I stayed till six, and
crossed him in all his Whig talk, and made him often come over to me. I know
he makes court to the new men, although he affects to talk like a Whig. I had
a letter to-day from the Bishop of Clogher; but I writ to him lately, that I
would obey his commands to the Duke of Ormond. He says I bid him read the
London "Shaver," and that you both swore it was "Shaver," and not "Shower."[6]
You all lie, and you are puppies, and can't read Presto's hand. The Bishop is
out entirely in his conjectures of my share in the Tatlers.--I have other
things to mind, and of much greater importance;[7] else I have little to do to
be acquainted with a new Ministry, who consider me a little more than Irish
bishops do.
29. Now for your saucy, good dear letter: let me see, what does it say? come
then. I dined to-day with Ford, and went home early; he debauched[8] me to
his chamber again with a bottle of wine till twelve: so good-night. I cannot
write an answer now, you rogues.
30. To-day I have been visiting, which I had long neglected; and I dined with
Mrs. Barton alone; and sauntered at the Coffee-house till past eight, and have
been busy till eleven, and now I'll answer your letter, saucebox. Well, let
me see now again. My wax candle's almost out, but however I'll begin. Well
then, do not be so tedious, Mr. Presto; what can you say to MD's letter? Make
haste, have done with your preambles--Why, I say I am glad you are so often
abroad; your mother thinks it is want of exercise hurts you, and so do I.
(She called here to-night, but I was not within, that's by the bye.) Sure you
do not deceive me, Stella, when you say you are in better health than you were
these three weeks; for Dr. Raymond told me yesterday, that Smyth of the Blind
Quay had been telling Mr. Leigh that he left you extremely ill; and in short,
spoke so, that he almost put poor Leigh into tears, and would have made me run
distracted; though your letter is dated the 11th instant, and I saw Smyth in
the city above a fortnight ago, as I passed by in a coach. Pray, pray, don't
write, Stella, until you are mighty, mighty, mighty, mighty well in your eyes,
and are sure it won't do you the least hurt. Or come, I'll tell you what;
you, Mistress Stella, shall write your share at five or six sittings, one
sitting a day; and then comes Dingley all together, and then Stella a little
crumb towards the end, to let us see she remembers Presto; and then conclude
with something handsome and genteel, as your most humblecumdumble, or, etc. O
Lord! does Patrick write word of my not coming till spring? Insolent man! he
know my secrets? No; as my Lord Mayor said, No; if I thought my shirt knew,
etc. Faith, I will come as soon as it is any way proper for me to come; but,
to say the truth, I am at present a little involved with the present Ministry
in some certain things (which I tell you as a secret); and soon as ever I can
clear my hands, I will stay no longer; for I hope the First-Fruit business
will be soon over in all its forms. But, to say the truth, the present
Ministry have a difficult task, and want me, etc. Perhaps they may be just as
grateful as others: but, according to the best judgment I have, they are
pursuing the true interest of the public; and therefore I am glad to
contribute what is in my power. For God's sake, not a word of this to any
alive.--Your Chancellor?[9] Why, madam, I can tell you he has been dead this
fortnight. Faith, I could hardly forbear our little language about a nasty
dead Chancellor, as you may see by the blot.[10] Ploughing? A pox plough
them; they'll plough me to nothing. But have you got your money, both the ten
pounds? How durst he pay you the second so soon? Pray be good huswifes.
Ay, well, and Joe, why, I had a letter lately from Joe, desiring I would take
some care of their poor town,[11] who, he says, will lose their liberties. To
which I desired Dr. Raymond would return answer, that the town had behaved
themselves so ill to me, so little regarded the advice I gave them, and
disagreed so much among themselves, that I was resolved never to have more to
do with them; but that whatever personal kindness I could do to Joe, should be
done. Pray, when you happen to see Joe, tell him this, lest Raymond should
have blundered or forgotten--Poor Mrs. Wesley!--Why these poligyes[12] for
being abroad? Why should you be at home at all, until Stella is quite well?--
So, here is Mistress Stella again, with her two eggs, etc. My "Shower"
admired with you; why, the Bishop of Clogher says, he has seen something of
mine of the same sort, better than the "Shower." I suppose he means "The
Morning";[13] but it is not half so good. I want your judgment of things, and
not your country's. How does MD like it? and do they taste it ALL? etc. I am
glad Dean Bolton[14] has paid the twenty pounds. Why should not I chide the
Bishop of Clogher for writing to the Archbishop of Cashel,[15] without sending
the letter first to me? It does not signify a ----; for he has no credit at
Court. Stuff--they are all puppies. I will break your head in good earnest,
young woman, for your nasty jest about Mrs. Barton.[16] Unlucky sluttikin,
what a word is there! Faith, I was thinking yesterday, when I was with her,
whether she could break them or no, and it quite spoilt my imagination. "Mrs.
Walls, does Stella win as she pretends?" "No indeed, Doctor; she loses
always, and will play so VENTERSOMELY, how can she win?" See here now; an't
you an impudent lying slut? Do, open Domville's letter; what does it signify,
if you have a mind? Yes, faith, you write smartly with your eyes shut; all
was well but the _n_. See how I can do it; MADAM STELLA, YOUR HUMBLE
SERVANT.[17] O, but one may look whether one goes crooked or no, and so write
on. I will tell you what you may do; you may write with your eyes half shut,
just as when one is going to sleep: I have done so for two or three lines
now; it is but just seeing enough to go straight.--Now, Madam Dingley, I think
I bid you tell Mr. Walls that, in case there be occasion, I will serve his
friend as far as I can; but I hope there will be none. Yet I believe you will
have a new Parliament; but I care not whether you have or no a better. You
are mistaken in all your conjectures about the Tatlers. I have given him one
or two hints, and you have heard me talk about the Shilling.[18] Faith, these
answering letters are very long ones: you have taken up almost the room of a
week in journals; and I will tell you what, I saw fellows wearing crosses to-
day,[19] and I wondered what was the matter; but just this minute I recollect
it is little Presto's birthday; and I was resolved these three days to
remember it when it came, but could not. Pray, drink my health to-day at
dinner; do, you rogues. Do you like "Sid Hamet's Rod"? Do you understand it
all? Well, now at last I have done with your letter, and so I will lay me
down to sleep, and about, fair maids; and I hope merry maids all.
Dec. 1. Morning. I wish Smyth were hanged. I was dreaming the most
melancholy things in the world of poor Stella, and was grieving and crying all
night.--Pshah, it is foolish: I will rise and divert myself; so good-morrow;
and God of His infinite mercy keep and protect you! The Bishop of Clogher's
letter is dated Nov. 21. He says you thought of going with him to Clogher. I
am heartily glad of it, and wish you would ride there, and Dingley go in a
coach. I have had no fit since my first, although sometimes my head is not
quite in good order.--At night. I was this morning to visit Mr. Pratt, who is
come over with poor, sick Lord Shelburne: they made me dine with them; and
there I stayed, like a booby, till eight, looking over them at ombre, and then
came home. Lord Shelburne's giddiness is turned into a colic, and he looks
miserably.
2. Steele, the rogue, has done the imprudentest thing in the world: he said
something in a Tatler,[20] that we ought to use the word Great Britain, and
not England, in common conversation, as, "The finest lady in Great Britain,"
etc. Upon this, Rowe, Prior, and I sent him a letter, turning this into
ridicule. He has to-day printed the letter,[21] and signed it J.S., M.P., and
N.R., the first letters of all our names. Congreve told me to-day, he smoked
it immediately. Congreve and I, and Sir Charles Wager, dined to-day at
Delaval's, the Portugal Envoy; and I stayed there till eight, and came home,
and am now writing to you before I do business, because that dog Patrick is
not at home, and the fire is not made, and I am not in my gear. Pox take
him!--I was looking by chance at the top of this side, and find I make plaguy
mistakes in words; so that you must fence against that as well as bad writing.
Faith, I can't nor won't read what I have written. (Pox of this puppy!) Well,
I'll leave you till I am got to bed, and then I will say a word or two.--Well,
'tis now almost twelve, and I have been busy ever since, by a fire too (I have
my coals by half a bushel at a time, I'll assure you), and now I am got to
bed. Well, and what have you to say to Presto now he is abed? Come now, let
us hear your speeches. No, 'tis a lie; I an't sleepy yet. Let us sit up a
little longer, and talk. Well, where have you been to-day, that you are but
just this minute come home in a coach? What have you lost? Pay the coachman,
Stella. No, faith, not I, he'll grumble.--What new acquaintance have you got?
come, let us hear. I have made Delaval promise to send me some Brazil tobacco
from Portugal for you, Madam Dingley. I hope you will have your chocolate and
spectacles before this comes to you.
3. Pshaw, I must be writing to these dear saucy brats every night, whether I
will or no, let me have what business I will, or come home ever so late, or be
ever so sleepy; but an old saying, and a true one,
"Be you lords, or be you earls,
You must write to naughty girls."
I was to-day at Court, and saw Raymond among the Beefeaters, staying to see
the Queen: so I put him in a better station, made two or three dozen of bows,
and went to church, and then to Court again, to pick up a dinner, as I did
with Sir John Stanley; and then we went to visit Lord Mountjoy, and just now
left him; and 'tis near eleven at night, young women; and methinks this letter
comes pretty near to the bottom, and 'tis but eight days since the date, and
don't think I'll write on the other side, I thank you for nothing. Faith, if
I would use you to letters on sheets as broad as this room, you would always
expect them from me. O, faith, I know you well enough; but an old saying,
etc.,
"Two sides in a sheet,
And one in a street."
I think that's but a silly old saying; and so I'll go to sleep, and do you so
too.
4. I dined to-day with Mrs. Vanhomrigh, and then came home, and studied till
eleven. No adventure at all to-day.
5. So I went to the Court of Requests (we have had the Devil and all of rain
by the bye) to pick up a dinner; and Henley made me go dine with him and one
Colonel Bragg[22] at a tavern; cost me money, faith. Congreve was to be
there, but came not. I came with Henley to the Coffee-house, where Lord
Salisbury[23] seemed mighty desirous to talk with me; and, while he was
wriggling himself into my favour, that dog Henley asked me aloud, whether I
would go to see Lord Somers as I had promised (which was a lie); and all to
vex poor Lord Salisbury, who is a high Tory. He played two or three other
such tricks; and I was forced to leave my lord, and I came home at seven, and
have been writing ever since, and will now go to bed. The other day I saw
Jack Temple[24] in the Court of Requests: it was the first time of seeing
him; so we talked two or three careless words, and parted. Is it true that
your Recorder and Mayor, and fanatic aldermen, a month or two ago, at a solemn
feast, drank Mr. Harley's, Lord Rochester's,[25] and other Tory healths? Let
me know; it was confidently said here.--The scoundrels! It shan't do, Tom.
6. When is this letter to go, I wonder? harkee, young women, tell me that.
Saturday next for certain, and not before: then it will be just a fortnight;
time enough for naughty girls, and long enough for two letters, faith.
Congreve and Delaval have at last prevailed on Sir Godfrey Kneller to entreat
me to let him draw my picture for nothing; but I know not yet when I shall
sit.[26]--It is such monstrous rainy weather, that there is no doing with it.
Secretary St. John sent to me this morning, that my dining with him to-day was
put off till to-morrow; so I peaceably sat with my neighbour Ford, dined with
him, and came home at six, and am now in bed as usual; and now it is time to
have another letter from MD, yet I would not have it till this goes; for that
would look like two letters for one. Is it not whimsical that the Dean has
never once written to me? And I find the Archbishop very silent to that
letter I sent him with an account that the business was done. I believe he
knows not what to write or say; and I have since written twice to him, both
times with a vengeance.[27] Well, go to bed, sirrahs, and so will I. But
have you lost to-day? Three shillings! O fie, O fie!
7. No, I won't send this letter to-day, nor till Saturday, faith; and I am so
afraid of one from MD between this and that; if it comes, I will just say I
received a letter, and that is all. I dined to-day with Mr. Secretary St.
John, where were Lord Anglesea,[28] Sir Thomas Hanmer, Prior, Freind, etc.,
and then made a debauch after nine at Prior's house, and have eaten cold pie,
and I hate the thoughts of it, and I am full, and I don't like it, and I will
go to bed, and it is late, and so good-night.
8. To-day I dined with Mr. Harley and Prior; but Mr. St. John did not come,
though he promised: he chid me for not seeing him oftener. Here is a damned,
libellous pamphlet come out against Lord Wharton, giving the character first,
and then telling some of his actions: the character is very well, but the
facts indifferent.[29] It has been sent by dozens to several gentlemen's
lodgings, and I had one or two of them; but nobody knows the author or
printer. We are terribly afraid of the plague; they say it is at
Newcastle.[30] I begged Mr. Harley for the love of God to take some care
about it, or we are all ruined. There have been orders for all ships from the
Baltic to pass their quarantine before they land; but they neglect it. You
remember I have been afraid these two years.
9. O, faith, you are a saucy rogue. I have had your sixth letter just now,
before this is gone; but I will not answer a word of it, only that I never was
giddy since my first fit; but I have had a cold just a fortnight, and cough
with it still morning and evening; but it will go off. It is, however, such
abominable weather that no creature can walk. They say here three of your
Commissioners will be turned out, Ogle, South, and St. Quintin;[31] and that
Dick Stewart[32] and Ludlow will be two of the new ones. I am a little
soliciting for another: it is poor Lord Abercorn,[33] but that is a secret; I
mean, that I befriend him is a secret; but I believe it is too late, by his
own fault and ill fortune. I dined with him to-day. I am heartily sorry you
do not go to Clogher, faith, I am; and so God Almighty protect poor, dear,
dear, dear, dearest MD. Farewell till to-night. I'll begin my eleventh to-
night; so I am always writing to little MD.
LETTER 11.
LONDON, Dec. 9, 1710.
So, young women, I have just sent my tenth to the post-office, and, as I told
you, have received your seventh (faith, I am afraid I mistook, and said your
sixth, and then we shall be all in confusion this month.) Well, I told you I
dined with Lord Abercorn to-day; and that is enough till by and bye; for I
must go write idle things, and twittle twattle.[1] What's here to do with
your little MD's? and so I put this by for a while. 'Tis now late, and I can
only say MD is a dear, saucy rogue, and what then? Presto loves them the
better.
10. This son of a b---- Patrick is out of the way, and I can do nothing; am
forced to borrow coals: 'tis now six o'clock, and I am come home after a pure
walk in the park; delicate weather, begun only to-day. A terrible storm last
night: we hear one of your packet-boats is cast away, and young Beau Swift[2]
in it, and General Sankey:[3] I know not the truth; you will before me.
Raymond talks of leaving the town in a few days, and going in a month to
Ireland, for fear his wife should be too far gone, and forced to be brought to
bed here. I think he is in the right; but perhaps this packet-boat will
fright him. He has no relish for London; and I do not wonder at it. He has
got some Templars from Ireland that show him the town. I do not let him see
me above twice a week, and that only while I am dressing in the morning.--So,
now the puppy's come in, and I have got my own ink, but a new pen; and so now
you are rogues and sauceboxes till I go to bed; for I must go study, sirrahs.
Now I think of it, tell the Bishop of Clogher, he shall not cheat me of one
inch of my bell metal. You know it is nothing but to save the town money; and
Enniskillen can afford it better than Laracor: he shall have but one thousand
five hundred weight. I have been reading, etc., as usual, and am now going to
bed; and I find this day's article is long enough: so get you gone till to-
morrow, and then. I dined with Sir Matthew Dudley.
11. I am come home again as yesterday, and the puppy had again locked up my
ink, notwithstanding all I said to him yesterday; but he came home a little
after me, so all is well: they are lighting my fire, and I'll go study. The
fair weather is gone again, and it has rained all day. I do not like this
open weather, though some say it is healthy. They say it is a false report
about the plague at Newcastle.[4] I have no news to-day: I dined with Mrs.
Vanhomrigh, to desire them to buy me a scarf; and Lady Abercorn[5] is to buy
me another, to see who does best: mine is all in rags. I saw the Duke of
Richmond[6] yesterday at Court again, but would not speak to him: I believe
we are fallen out. I am now in bed; and it has rained all this evening, like
wildfire: have you so much rain in your town? Raymond was in a fright, as I
expected, upon the news of this shipwreck; but I persuaded him, and he leaves
this town in a week. I got him acquainted with Sir Robert Raymond,[7] the
Solicitor-General, who owns him to be of his family; and I believe it may do
him a kindness, by being recommended to your new Lord Chancellor.--I had a
letter from Mrs. Long, that has quite turned my stomach against her: no less
than two nasty jests in it, with dashes to suppose them. She is corrupted in
that country town[8] with vile conversation.--I will not answer your letter
till I have leisure: so let this go on as it will, what care I? what cares
saucy Presto?
12. I was to-day at the Secretary's office with Lewis, and in came Lord
Rivers;[9] who took Lewis out and whispered him; and then came up to me to
desire my acquaintance, etc., so we bowed and complimented a while, and parted
and I dined with Phil. Savage[10] and his Irish Club, at their boarding-place;
and, passing an evening scurvily enough, did not come home till eight. Mr.
Addison and I hardly meet once a fortnight; his Parliament and my different
friendships keep us asunder. Sir Matthew Dudley turned away his butler
yesterday morning; and at night the poor fellow died suddenly in the streets:
was not it an odd event? But what care you? But then I knew the butler.--
Why, it seems your packet-boat is not lost: psha, how silly that is, when I
had already gone through the forms, and said it was a sad thing, and that I
was sorry for it! But when must I answer this letter of our MD's? Here it
is, it lies between this paper on t'other side of the leaf: one of these odd-
come-shortly's I'll consider, and so good-night.
13. Morning. I am to go trapesing with Lady Kerry[11] and Mrs. Pratt[12] to
see sights all this day: they engaged me yesterday morning at tea. You hear
the havoc making in the army: Meredith, Maccartney, and Colonel Honeywood[13]
are obliged to sell their commands at half-value, and leave the army, for
drinking destruction to the present Ministry, and dressing up a hat on a
stick, and calling it Harley; then drinking a glass with one hand, and
discharging a pistol with the other at the maukin,[14] wishing it were Harley
himself; and a hundred other such pretty tricks, as inflaming their soldiers,
and foreign Ministers, against the late changes at Court. Cadogan[15] has had
a little paring: his mother[16] told me yesterday he had lost the place of
Envoy; but I hope they will go no further with him, for he was not at those
mutinous meetings.--Well, these saucy jades take up so much of my time with
writing to them in a morning; but, faith, I am glad to see you whenever I can:
a little snap and away; and so hold your tongue, for I must rise: not a word,
for your life. How nowww? So, very well; stay till I come home, and then,
perhaps, you may hear further from me. And where will you go to-day, for I
can't be with you for these ladies? It is a rainy, ugly day. I'd have you
send for Walls, and go to the Dean's; but don't play small games when you
lose. You'll be ruined by Manilio, Basto, the queen, and two small trumps, in
red.[17] I confess 'tis a good hand against the player: but then there are
Spadilio, Punto, the king, strong trumps, against you, which, with one trump
more, are three tricks ten ace: for, suppose you play your Manilio--Oh,
silly, how I prate, and can't get away from this MD in a morning! Go, get you
gone, dear naughty girls, and let me rise. There, Patrick locked up my ink
again the third time last night: the rogue gets the better of me; but I will
rise in spite of you, sirrahs.--At night. Lady Kerry, Mrs. Pratt, Mrs.
Cadogan,[18] and I, in one coach; Lady Kerry's son[19] and his governor, and
two gentlemen, in another; maids, and misses and little master (Lord
Shelburne's[20] children, in a third, all hackneys, set out at ten o'clock
this morning from Lord Shelburne's house in Piccadilly to the Tower, and saw
all the sights, lions,[21] etc.; then to Bedlam;[22] then dined at the chop-
house behind the Exchange; then to Gresham College[23] (but the keeper was not
at home); and concluded the night at the Puppet-show,[24] whence we came home
safe at eight, and I left them. The ladies were all in mobs[25] (how do you
call it?), undrest; and it was the rainiest day that ever dripped; and I am
weary; and it is now past eleven.
