Addressed,

     'Mr. GILBERT GLOSSIN, etc.
     'HAZLEWOOD HOUSE, Tuesday.'

'Soh!' thought Mr. Glossin, 'here is one finger in at least, and
that I will make the means of introducing my whole hand. But I
must first get clear of this wretched young fellow. I think I can
manage Sir Robert. He is dull and pompous, and will be alike
disposed to listen to my suggestions upon the law of the case and
to assume the credit of acting upon them as his own proper motion.
So I shall have the advantage of being the real magistrate,
without the odium of responsibility.'

As he cherished these hopes and expectations, the carriage
approached Hazlewood House through a noble avenue of old oaks,
which shrouded the ancient abbey-resembling building so called. It
was a large edifice, built at different periods, part having
actually been a priory, upon the suppression of which, in the time
of Queen Mary, the first of the family had obtained a gift of the
house and surrounding lands from the crown. It was pleasantly
situated in a large deer-park, on the banks of the river we have
before mentioned. The scenery around was of a dark, solemn, and
somewhat melancholy cast, according well with the architecture of
the house. Everything appeared to be kept in the highest possible
order, and announced the opulence and rank of the proprietor.

As Mr. Glossin's carriage stopped at the door of the hall, Sir
Robert reconnoitred the new vehicle from the windows. According to
his aristocratic feelings, there was a degree of presumption in
this novus homo, this Mr. Gilbert Glossin, late writer in---,
presuming to set up such an accommodation at all; but his wrath
was mitigated when he observed that the mantle upon the panels
only bore a plain cipher of G.G. This apparent modesty was indeed
solely owing to the delay of Mr. Gumming of the Lyon Office, who,
being at that time engaged in discovering and matriculating the
arms of two commissaries from North America, three English-Irish
peers, and two great Jamaica traders, had been more slow than
usual in finding an escutcheon for the new Laird of Ellangowan.
But his delay told to the advantage of Glossin in the opinion of
the proud Baronet.

While the officers of justice detained their prisoner in a sort of
steward's room, Mr. Glossin was ushered into what was called the
great oak-parlour, a long room, panelled with well-varnished
wainscot, and adorned with the grim portraits of Sir Robert
Hazlewood's ancestry. The visitor, who had no internal
consciousness of worth to balance that of meanness of birth, felt
his inferiority, and by the depth of his bow and the
obsequiousness of his demeanour showed that the Laird of
Ellangowan was sunk for the time in the old and submissive habits
of the quondam retainer of the law. He would have persuaded
himself, indeed, that he was only humouring the pride of the old
Baronet for the purpose of turning it to his own advantage, but
his feelings were of a mingled nature, and he felt the influence
of those very prejudices which he pretended to flatter.

The Baronet received his visitor with that condescending parade
which was meant at once to assert his own vast superiority, and to
show the generosity and courtesy with which he could waive it, and
descend to the level of ordinary conversation with ordinary men.
He thanked Glossin for his attention to a matter in which 'young
Hazlewood' was so intimately concerned, and, pointing to his
family pictures, observed, with a gracious smile, 'Indeed, these
venerable gentlemen, Mr. Glossin, are as much obliged as I am in
this case for the labour, pains, care, and trouble which you have
taken in their behalf; and I have no doubt, were they capable of
expressing themselves, would join me, sir, in thanking you for the
favour you have conferred upon the house of Hazlewood by taking
care, and trouble, sir, and interest in behalf of the young
gentleman who is to continue their name and family.'

Thrice bowed Glossin, and each time more profoundly than before;
once in honour of the knight who stood upright before him, once in
respect to the quiet personages who patiently hung upon the
wainscot, and a third time in deference to the young gentleman who
was to carry on the name and family. Roturier as he was, Sir
Robert was gratified by the homage which he rendered, and
proceeded in a tone of gracious familiarity: 'And now, Mr.
Glossin, my exceeding good friend, you must allow me to avail
myself of your knowledge of law in our proceedings in this matter.
I am not much in the habit of acting as a justice of the peace; it
suits better with other gentlemen, whose domestic and family
affairs require less constant superintendence, attention, and
management than mine.'

Of course, whatever small assistance Mr. Glossin could render was
entirely at Sir Robert Hazlewood's service; but, as Sir Robert
Hazlewood's name stood high in the list of the faculty, the said
Mr. Glossin could not presume to hope it could be either necessary
or useful.

'Why, my good sir, you will understand me only to mean that I am
something deficient in the practical knowledge of the ordinary
details of justice business. I was indeed educated to the bar, and
might boast perhaps at one time that I had made some progress in
the speculative and abstract and abstruse doctrines of our
municipal code; but there is in the present day so little
opportunity of a man of family and fortune rising to that eminence
at the bar which is attained by adventurers who are as willing to
plead for John a' Nokes as for the first noble of the land, that I
was really early disgusted with practice. The first case, indeed,
which was laid on my table quite sickened me: it respected a
bargain, sir, of tallow between a butcher and a candlemaker; and I
found it was expected that I should grease my mouth not only with
their vulgar names, but with all the technical terms and phrases
and peculiar language of their dirty arts. Upon my honour, my good
sir, I have never been able to bear the smell of a tallow-candle
since.'

Pitying, as seemed to be expected, the mean use to which the
Baronet's faculties had been degraded on this melancholy occasion,
Mr. Glossin offered to officiate as clerk or assessor, or in any
way in which he could be most useful. 'And with a view to
possessing you of the whole business, and in the first place,
there will, I believe, be no difficulty in proving the main fact,
that this was the person who fired the unhappy piece. Should he
deny it, it can be proved by Mr. Hazlewood, I presume?'

'Young Hazlewood is not at home to-day, Mr. Glossin.'

'But we can have the oath of the servant who attended him,' said
the ready Mr. Glossin; 'indeed, I hardly think the fact will be
disputed. I am more apprehensive that, from the too favourable and
indulgent manner in which I have understood that Mr. Hazlewood has
been pleased to represent the business, the assault may be
considered as accidental, and the injury as unintentional, so that
the fellow may be immediately set at liberty to do more mischief.'

'I have not the honour to know the gentleman who now holds the
office of king's advocate,' replied Sir Robert, gravely; 'but I
presume, sir--nay, I am confident, that he will consider the mere
fact of having wounded young Hazlewood of Hazlewood, even by
inadvertency, to take the matter in its mildest and gentlest, and
in its most favourable and improbable, light, as a crime which
will be too easily atoned by imprisonment, and as more deserving
of deportation.'

'Indeed, Sir Robert,' said his assenting brother in justice, 'I am
entirely of your opinion; but, I don't know how it is, I have
observed the Edinburgh gentlemen of the bar, and even the officers
of the crown, pique themselves upon an indifferent administration
of justice, without respect to rank and family; and I should fear--'

'How, sir, without respect to rank and family? Will you tell me
THAT doctrine can be held by men of birth and legal education? No,
sir; if a trifle stolen in the street is termed mere pickery, but
is elevated into sacrilege if the crime be committed in a church,
so, according to the just gradations of society, the guilt of an
injury is enhanced by the rank of the person to whom it is
offered, done, or perpetrated, sir.'

Glossin bowed low to this declaration ex cathedra, but observed,
that in the case of the very worst, and of such unnatural
doctrines being actually held as he had already hinted, 'the law
had another hold on Mr. Vanbeest Brown.'

'Vanbeest Brown! is that the fellow's name? Good God! that young
Hazlewood of Hazlewood should have had his life endangered, the
clavicle of his right shoulder considerably lacerated and
dislodged, several large drops or slugs deposited in the acromion
process, as the account of the family surgeon expressly bears, and
all by an obscure wretch named Vanbeest Brown!'

'Why, really, Sir Robert, it is a thing which one can hardly bear
to think of; but, begging ten thousand pardons for resuming what I
was about to say, a person of the same name is, as appears from
these papers (producing Dirk Hatteraick's pocket-book), mate to
the smuggling vessel who offered such violence at Woodbourne, and
I have no doubt that this is the same individual; which, however,
your acute discrimination will easily be able to ascertain.'

'The same, my good sir, he must assuredly be; it would be
injustice even to the meanest of the people to suppose there could
be found among them TWO persons doomed to bear a name so shocking
to one's ears as this of Vanbeest Brown.' 'True, Sir Robert; most
unquestionably; there cannot be a shadow of doubt of it. But you
see farther, that this circumstance accounts for the man's
desperate conduct. You, Sir Robert, will discover the motive for
his crime--you, I say, will discover it without difficulty on your
giving your mind to the examination; for my part, I cannot help
suspecting the moving spring to have been revenge for the
gallantry with which Mr. Hazlewood, with all the spirit of his
renowned forefathers, defended the house at Woodbourne against
this villain and his lawless companions.'

'I will inquire into it, my good sir,' said the learned Baronet.
'Yet even now I venture to conjecture that I shall adopt the
solution or explanation of this riddle, enigma, or mystery which
you have in some degree thus started. Yes! revenge it must be;
and, good Heaven! entertained by and against whom? entertained,
fostered, cherished against young Hazlewood of Hazlewood, and in
part carried into effect, executed, and implemented by the hand of
Vanbeest Brown! These are dreadful days indeed, my worthy
neighbour (this epithet indicated a rapid advance in the Baronet's
good graces)--days when the bulwarks of society are shaken to
their mighty base, and that rank which forms, as it were, its
highest grace and ornament is mingled and confused with the viler
parts of the architecture. O, my good Mr. Gilbert Glossin, in my
time, sir, the use of swords and pistols, and such honourable
arms, was reserved by the nobility and gentry to themselves, and
the disputes of the vulgar were decided by the weapons which
nature had given them, or by cudgels cut, broken, or hewed out of
the next wood. But now, sir, the clouted shoe of the peasant galls
the kibe of the courtier. The lower ranks have their quarrels,
sir, and their points of honour, and their revenges, which they
must bring, forsooth, to fatal arbitrament. But well, well! it
will last my time. Let us have in this fellow, this Vanbeest
Brown, and make an end of him, at least for the present.'




CHAPTER XLIII

     'Twas he
     Gave heat unto the injury, which returned,
     Like a petard ill lighted, into the bosom
     Of him gave fire to't. Yet I hope his hurt
     Is not so dangerous but he may recover

          Fair Maid of the Inn.


The prisoner was now presented before the two worshipful
magistrates. Glossin, partly from some compunctious visitings, and
partly out of his cautious resolution to suffer Sir Robert
Hazlewood to be the ostensible manager of the whole examination,
looked down upon the table, and busied himself with reading and
arranging the papers respecting the business, only now and then
throwing in a skilful catchword as prompter, when he saw the
principal, and apparently most active, magistrate stand in need of
a hint. As for Sir Robert Hazlewood, he assumed on his part a
happy mixture of the austerity of the justice combined with the
display of personal dignity appertaining to the baronet of ancient
family.

'There, constables, let him stand there at the bottom of the
table. Be so good as look me in the face, sir, and raise your
voice as you answer the questions which I am going to put to you.'

'May I beg, in the first place, to know, sir, who it is that takes
the trouble to interrogate me?' said the prisoner; 'for the honest
gentlemen who have brought me here have not been pleased to
furnish any information upon that point.'

'And pray, sir,' answered Sir Robert, 'what has my name and
quality to do with the questions I am about to ask you?'

'Nothing, perhaps, sir,' replied Bertram; 'but it may considerably
influence my disposition to answer them.'

'Why, then, sir, you will please to be informed that you are in
presence of Sir Robert Hazlewood of Hazlewood, and another justice
of peace for this county--that's all.'

As this intimation produced a less stunning effect upon the
prisoner than he had anticipated, Sir Robert proceeded in his
investigation with an increasing dislike to the object of it.

'Is your name Vanbeest Brown, sir?'

'It is,' answered the prisoner.

'So far well; and how are we to design you farther, sir?' demanded
the Justice.

'Captain in his Majesty's---regiment of horse,' answered Bertram.

The Baronet's ears received this intimation with astonishment; but
he was refreshed in courage by an incredulous look from Glossin,
and by hearing him gently utter a sort of interjectional whistle,
in a note of surprise and contempt. 'I believe, my friend,' said
Sir Robert, 'we shall find for you, before we part, a more humble
title.'

'If you do, sir,' replied his prisoner, 'I shall willingly submit
to any punishment which such an imposture shall be thought to
deserve.'

'Well, sir, we shall see,' continued Sir Robert. 'Do you know
young Hazlewood of Hazlewood?'

'I never saw the gentleman who I am informed bears that name
excepting once, and I regret that it was under very unpleasant
circumstances.'

'You mean to acknowledge, then,' said the Baronet, 'that you
inflicted upon young Hazlewood of Hazlewood that wound which
endangered his life, considerably lacerated the clavicle of his
right shoulder, and deposited, as the family surgeon declares,
several large drops or slugs in the acromion process?'

'Why, sir,' replied Bertram, 'I can only say I am equally ignorant
of and sorry for the extent of the damage which the young
gentleman has sustained. I met him in a narrow path, walking with
two ladies and a servant, and before I could either pass them or
address them, this young Hazlewood took his gun from his servant,
presented it against my body, and commanded me in the most haughty
tone to stand back. I was neither inclined to submit to his
authority nor to leave him in possession of the means to injure
me, which he seemed disposed to use with such rashness. I
therefore closed with him for the purpose of disarming him; and,
just as I had nearly effected my purpose, the piece went off
accidentally, and, to my regret then and since, inflicted upon the
young gentleman a severer chastisement than I desired, though I am
glad to understand it is like to prove no more than his unprovoked
folly deserved.'

'And so, sir,' said the Baronet, every feature swoln with offended
dignity, 'you, sir, admit, sir, that it was your purpose, sir, and
your intention, sir, and the real jet and object of your assault,
sir, to disarm young Hazlewood of Hazlewood of his gun, sir, or
his fowling-piece, or his fuzee, or whatever you please to call
it, sir, upon the king's highway, sir? I think this will do, my
worthy neighbour! I think he should stand committed?'

'You are by far the best judge, Sir Robert,' said Glossin, in his
most insinuating tone; 'but if I might presume to hint, there was
something about these smugglers.'

'Very true, good sir. And besides, sir, you, Vanbeest Brown, who
call yourself a captain in his Majesty's service, are no better or
worse than a rascally mate of a smuggler!'

'Really, sir,' said Bertram, 'you are an old gentleman, and acting
under some strange delusion, otherwise I should be very angry with
you.'

'Old gentleman, sir! strange delusion, sir!' said Sir Robert,
colouring with indignation. 'I protest and declare--Why, sir,
have you any papers or letters that can establish your pretended
rank and estate and commission?'

'None at present, sir,' answered Bertram; 'but in the return of a
post or two---'

'And how do you, sir,' continued the Baronet, 'if you are a
captain in his Majesty's service--how do you chance to be
travelling in Scotland without letters of introduction,
credentials, baggage, or anything belonging to your pretended
rank, estate, and condition, as I said before?'

'Sir,' replied the prisoner, 'I had the misfortune to be robbed of
my clothes and baggage.'

'Oho! then you are the gentleman who took a post-chaise from---to
Kippletringan, gave the boy the slip on the road, and sent two of
your accomplices to beat the boy and bring away the baggage?'

'I was, sir, in a carriage, as you describe, was obliged to alight
in the snow, and lost my way endeavouring to find the road to
Kippletringan. The landlady of the inn will inform you that on my
arrival there the next day, my first inquiries were after the
boy.'

'Then give me leave to ask where you spent the night, not in the
snow, I presume? You do not suppose that will pass, or be taken,
credited, and received?'

'I beg leave,' said Bertram, his recollection turning to the gipsy
female and to the promise he had given her--'I beg leave to
decline answering that question.'

'I thought as much,' said Sir Robert. 'Were you not during that
night in the ruins of Derncleugh?--in the ruins of Derncleugh,
sir?'

'I have told you that I do not intend answering that question,'
replied Bertram.

'Well, sir, then you will stand committed, sir,' said Sir Robert,
'and be sent to prison, sir, that's all, sir. Have the goodness to
look at these papers; are you the Vanbeest Brown who is there
mentioned?'

It must be remarked that Glossin had shuffled among the papers
some writings which really did belong to Bertram, and which had
been found by the officers in the old vault where his portmanteau
was ransacked.

'Some of these papers,' said Bertram, looking over them, 'are
mine, and were in my portfolio when it was stolen from the post-
chaise. They are memoranda of little value, and, I see, have been
carefully selected as affording no evidence of my rank or
character, which many of the other papers would have established
fully. They are mingled with ship-accounts and other papers,
belonging apparently to a person of the same name.'

'And wilt thou attempt to persuade me, friend,' demanded Sir
Robert, 'that there are TWO persons in this country at the same
time of thy very uncommon and awkwardly sounding name?'

'I really do not see, sir, as there is an old Hazlewood and a
young Hazlewood, why there should not be an old and a young
Vanbeest Brown. And, to speak seriously, I was educated in
Holland, and I know that this name, however uncouth it may sound
in British ears---'

Glossin, conscious that the prisoner was now about to enter upon
dangerous ground, interfered, though the interruption was
unnecessary, for the purpose of diverting the attention of Sir
Robert Hazlewood, who was speechless and motionless with
indignation at the presumptuous comparison implied in Bertram's
last speech. In fact, the veins of his throat and of his temples
swelled almost to bursting, and he sat with the indignant and
disconcerted air of one who has received a mortal insult from a
quarter to which he holds it unmeet and indecorous to make any
reply. While, with a bent brow and an angry eye, he was drawing in
his breath slowly and majestically, and puffing it forth again
with deep and solemn exertion, Glossin stepped in to his
assistance. 'I should think now, Sir Robert, with great
submission, that this matter may be closed. One of the constables,
besides the pregnant proof already produced, offers to make oath
that the sword of which the prisoner was this morning deprived
(while using it, by the way, in resistance to a legal warrant) was
a cutlass taken from him in a fray between the officers and
smugglers just previous to their attack upon Woodbourne. And yet,'
he added, 'I would not have you form any rash construction upon
that subject; perhaps the young man can explain how he came by
that weapon.'

'That question, sir,' said Bertram, 'I shall also leave
unanswered.'

'There is yet another circumstance to be inquired into, always
under Sir Robert's leave,' insinuated Glossin. 'This prisoner put
into the hands of Mrs. MacCandlish of Kippletringan a parcel
containing a variety of gold coins and valuable articles of
different kinds. Perhaps, Sir Robert, you might think it right to
ask how he came by property of a description which seldom occurs?'

'You, sir, Mr. Vanbeest Brown, sir, you hear the question, sir,
which the gentleman asks you?'

'I have particular reasons for declining to answer that question,'
answered Bertram.

'Then I am afraid, sir,' said Glossin, who had brought matters to
the point he desired to reach, 'our duty must lay us under the
necessity to sign a warrant of committal.'

'As you please, sir,' answered Bertram; 'take care, however, what
you do. Observe that I inform you that I am a captain in his
Majesty's---regiment, and that I am just returned from India, and
therefore cannot possibly be connected with any of those
contraband traders you talk of; that my lieutenant-colonel is now
at Nottingham, the major, with the officers of my corps, at
Kingston-upon-Thames. I offer before you both to submit to any
degree of ignominy if, within the return of the Kingston and
Nottingham posts, I am not able to establish these points. Or you
may write to the agent for the regiment if you please, and---'

'This is all very well, sir,' said Glossin, beginning to fear lest
the firm expostulation of Bertram should make some impression on
Sir Robert, who would almost have died of shame at committing such
a solecism as sending a captain of horse to jail--'this is all
very well, sir; but is there no person nearer whom you could refer
to?'

'There are only two persons in this country who know anything of
me,' replied the prisoner. 'One is a plain Liddesdale sheep-
farmer, called Dinmont of Charlie's Hope; but he knows nothing
more of me than what I told him, and what I now tell you.'

'Why, this is well enough, Sir Robert!' said Glossin. 'I suppose
he would bring forward this thick-skulled fellow to give his oath
of credulity, Sir Robert, ha, ha, ha!'

'And what is your other witness, friend?' said the Baronet.

'A gentleman whom I have some reluctance to mention because of
certain private reasons, but under whose command I served some
time in India, and who is too much a man of honour to refuse his
testimony to my character as a soldier and gentleman.'

'And who is this doughty witness, pray, sir?' said Sir Robert,'
some half-pay quartermaster or sergeant, I suppose?'

'Colonel Guy Mannering, late of the---regiment, in which, as I
told you, I have a troop.'

'Colonel Guy Mannering!' thought Glossin, 'who the devil could
have guessed this?'

'Colonel Guy Mannering?' echoed the Baronet, considerably shaken
in his opinion. 'My good sir,' apart to Glossin, 'the young man
with a dreadfully plebeian name and a good deal of modest
assurance has nevertheless something of the tone and manners and
feeling of a gentleman, of one at least who has lived in good
society; they do give commissions very loosely and carelessly and
inaccurately in India. I think we had better pause till Colonel
Mannering shall return; he is now, I believe, at Edinburgh.'

'You are in every respect the best judge, Sir Robert,' answered
Glossin--'in every possible respect. I would only submit to you
that we are certainly hardly entitled to dismiss this man upon an
assertion which cannot be satisfied by proof, and that we shall
incur a heavy responsibility by detaining him in private custody,
without committing him to a public jail. Undoubtedly, however, you
are the best judge, Sir Robert; and I would only say, for my own
part, that I very lately incurred severe censure by detaining a
person in a place which I thought perfectly secure, and under the
custody of the proper officers. The man made his escape, and I
have no doubt my own character for attention and circumspection as
a magistrate has in some degree suffered. I only hint this: I will
join in any step you, Sir Robert, think most advisable.' But Mr.
Glossin was well aware that such a hint was of power sufficient to
decide the motions of his self-important but not self-relying
colleague. So that Sir Robert Hazlewood summed up the business in
the following speech, which proceeded partly upon the supposition
of the prisoner being really a gentleman, and partly upon the
opposite belief that he was a villain and an assassin:--

'Sir, Mr. Vanbeest Brown--I would call you Captain Brown if there
was the least reason or cause or grounds to suppose that you are a
captain, or had a troop in the very respectable corps you mention,
or indeed in any other corps in his Majesty's service, as to which
circumstance I beg to be understood to give no positive, settled,
or unalterable judgment, declaration, or opinion,--I say,
therefore, sir, Mr. Brown, we have determined, considering the
unpleasant predicament in which you now stand, having been robbed,
as you say, an assertion as to which I suspend my opinion, and
being possessed of much and valuable treasure, and of a brass-
handled cutlass besides, as to your obtaining which you will
favour us with no explanation,--I say, sir, we have determined and
resolved and made up our minds to commit you to jail, or rather to
assign you an apartment therein, in order that you may be
forthcoming upon Colonel Mannering's return from Edinburgh.'

'With humble submission, Sir Robert,' said Glossin, 'may I inquire
if it is your purpose to send this young gentleman to the county
jail? For if that were not your settled intention, I would take
the liberty to hint that there would be less hardship in sending
him to the bridewell at Portanferry, where he can be secured
without public exposure, a circumstance which, on the mere chance
of his story being really true, is much to be avoided.'

'Why, there is a guard of soldiers at Portanferry, to be sure, for
protection of the goods in the custom-house; and upon the whole,
considering everything, and that the place is comfortable for such
a place, I say, all things considered, we will commit this person,
I would rather say authorise him to be detained, in the workhouse
at Portanferry.'

The warrant was made out accordingly, and Bertram was informed he
was next morning to be removed to his place of confinement, as Sir
Robert had determined he should not be taken there under cloud of
night, for fear of rescue. He was during the interval to be
detained at Hazlewood House.

'It cannot be so hard as my imprisonment by the looties in India,'
he thought; 'nor can it last so long. But the deuce take the old
formal dunderhead, and his more sly associate, who speaks always
under his breath; they cannot understand a plain man's story when
it is told them.'

In the meanwhile Glossin took leave of the Baronet with a thousand
respectful bows and cringing apologies for not accepting his
invitation to dinner, and venturing to hope he might be pardoned
in paying his respects to him, Lady Hazlewood, and young Mr.
Hazlewood on some future occasion.

'Certainly, sir,' said the Baronet, very graciously. 'I hope our
family was never at any time deficient in civility to our
neighbours; and when I ride that way, good Mr. Glossin, I will
convince you of this by calling at your house as familiarly as is
consistent--that is, as can be hoped or expected.'

'And now,' said Glossin to himself, 'to find Dirk Hatteraick and
his people, to get the guard sent off from the custom-house; and
then for the grand cast of the dice. Everything must depend upon
speed. How lucky that Mannering has betaken himself to Edinburgh!
His knowledge of this young fellow is a most perilous addition to
my dangers.' Here he suffered his horse to slacken his pace. 'What
if I should try to compound with the heir? It's likely he might be
brought to pay a round sum for restitution, and I could give up
Hatteraick. But no, no, no! there were too many eyes on me--
Hatteraick himself, and the gipsy sailor, and that old hag. No,
no! I must stick to my original plan.' And with that he struck his
spurs against his horse's flanks, and rode forward at a hard trot
to put his machines in motion.




CHAPTER XLIV

     A prison is a house of care,
     A place where none can thrive,
     A touchstone true to try a friend,
     A grave for one alive
     Sometimes a place of right,
     Sometimes a place of wrong,
     Sometimes a place of rogues and thieves,
     And honest men among

          Inscription on Edinburgh Tolbooth


Early on the following morning the carriage which had brought
Bertram to Hazlewood House was, with his two silent and surly
attendants, appointed to convey him to his place of confinement at
Portanferry. This building adjoined to the custom-house
established at that little seaport, and both were situated so
close to the sea-beach that it was necessary to defend the back
part with a large and strong rampart or bulwark of huge stones,
disposed in a slope towards the surf, which often reached and
broke upon them. The front was surrounded by a high wall,
enclosing a small courtyard, within which the miserable inmates of
the mansion were occasionally permitted to take exercise and air.
The prison was used as a house of correction, and sometimes as a
chapel of ease to the county jail, which was old, and far from
being conveniently situated with reference to the Kippletringan
district of the county. Mac-Guffog, the officer by whom Bertram
had at first been apprehended, and who was now in attendance upon
him, was keeper of this palace of little-ease. He caused the
carriage to be drawn close up to the outer gate, and got out
himself to summon the warders. The noise of his rap alarmed some
twenty or thirty ragged boys, who left off sailing their mimic
sloops and frigates in the little pools of salt water left by the
receding tide, and hastily crowded round the vehicle to see what
luckless being was to be delivered to the prison-house out of
'Glossin's braw new carriage.' The door of the courtyard, after
the heavy clanking of many chains and bars, was opened by Mrs.
Mac-Guffog--an awful spectacle, being a woman for strength and
resolution capable of maintaining order among her riotous inmates,
and of administering the discipline of the house, as it was
called, during the absence of her husband, or when he chanced to
have taken an overdose of the creature. The growling voice of this
Amazon, which rivalled in harshness the crashing music of her own
bolts and bars, soon dispersed in every direction the little
varlets who had thronged around her threshold, and she next
addressed her amiable helpmate:--

'Be sharp, man, and get out the swell, canst thou not?'

'Hold your tongue and be d-d, you--,' answered her loving husband,
with two additional epithets of great energy, but which we beg to
be excused from repeating. Then addressing Bertram--'Come, will
you get out, my handy lad, or must we lend you a lift?'

Bertram came out of the carriage, and, collared by the constable
as he put his foot on the ground, was dragged, though he offered
no resistance, across the threshold, amid the continued shouts of
the little sansculottes, who looked on at such distance as their
fear of Mrs. Mac-Guffog permitted. The instant his foot had
crossed the fatal porch, the portress again dropped her chains,
drew her bolts, and, turning with both hands an immense key, took
it from the lock and thrust it into a huge side-pocket of red
cloth.

Bertram was now in the small court already mentioned. Two or three
prisoners were sauntering along the pavement, and deriving as it
were a feeling of refreshment from the momentary glimpse with
which the opening door had extended their prospect to the other
side of a dirty street. Nor can this be thought surprising, when
it is considered that, unless on such occasions, their view was
confined to the grated front of their prison, the high and sable
walls of the courtyard, the heaven above them, and the pavement
beneath their feet--a sameness of landscape which, to use the
poet's expression, 'lay like a load on the wearied eye,' and had
fostered in some a callous and dull misanthropy, in others that
sickness of the heart which induces him who is immured already in
a living grave to wish for a sepulchre yet more calm and
sequestered.

Mac-Guffog, when they entered the courtyard, suffered Bertram to
pause for a minute and look upon his companions in affliction.
When he had cast his eye around on faces on which guilt and
despondence and low excess had fixed their stigma--upon the
spendthrift, and the swindler, and the thief, the bankrupt debtor,
the 'moping idiot, and the madman gay,' whom a paltry spirit of
economy congregated to share this dismal habitation, he felt his
heart recoil with inexpressible loathing from enduring the
contamination of their society even for a moment.

'I hope, sir,' he said to the keeper, 'you intend to assign me a
place of confinement apart?'

'And what should I be the better of that?'

'Why, sir, I can but be detained here a day or two, and it would
be very disagreeable to me to mix in the sort of company this
place affords.'

'And what do I care for that?'

'Why then, sir, to speak to your feelings,' said Bertram, 'I shall
be willing to make you a handsome compliment for this indulgence.'

'Ay, but when, Captain? when and how? that's the question, or
rather the twa questions,' said the jailor.

'When I am delivered, and get my remittances from England,'
answered the prisoner.

Mac-Guffog shook his head incredulously.

'Why, friend, you do not pretend to believe that I am really a
malefactor?' said Bertram.

'Why, I no ken,' said the fellow; 'but if you ARE on the account,
ye're nae sharp ane, that's the daylight o't.'

'And why do you say I am no sharp one?'

'Why, wha but a crack-brained greenhorn wad hae let them keep up
the siller that ye left at the Gordon Arms?' said the constable.
'Deil fetch me, but I wad have had it out o' their wames! Ye had
nae right to be strippit o' your money and sent to jail without a
mark to pay your fees; they might have keepit the rest o' the
articles for evidence. But why, for a blind bottle-head, did not
ye ask the guineas? and I kept winking and nodding a' the time,
and the donnert deevil wad never ance look my way!'

'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I have a title to have that
property delivered up to me, I shall apply for it; and there is a
good deal more than enough to pay any demand you can set up.'

'I dinna ken a bit about that,' said Mac-Guffog; 'ye may be here
lang eneugh. And then the gieing credit maun be considered in the
fees. But, however, as ye DO seem to be a chap by common, though
my wife says I lose by my good-nature, if ye gie me an order for
my fees upon that money I daresay Glossin will make it
forthcoming; I ken something about an escape from Ellangowan. Ay,
ay, he'll be glad to carry me through, and be neighbour-like.'

'Well, sir,' replied Bertram, 'if I am not furnished in a day or
two otherwise, you shall have such an order.'

'Weel, weel, then ye shall be put up like a prince,' said Mac-
Guffog. 'But mark ye me, friend, that we may have nae colly-
shangie afterhend, these are the fees that I always charge a swell
that must have his lib-ken to himsell:--Thirty shillings a week
for lodgings, and a guinea for garnish; half a guinea a week for a
single bed; and I dinna get the whole of it, for I must gie half a
crown out of it to Donald Laider that's in for sheep-stealing,
that should sleep with you by rule, and he'll expect clean strae,
and maybe some whisky beside. So I make little upon that.'

'Well, sir, go on.'

'Then for meat and liquor, ye may have the best, and I never
charge abune twenty per cent ower tavern price for pleasing a
gentleman that way; and that's little eneugh for sending in and
sending out, and wearing the lassie's shoon out. And then if ye're
dowie I will sit wi' you a gliff in the evening mysell, man, and
help ye out wi' your bottle. I have drank mony a glass wi'
Glossin, man, that did you up, though he's a justice now. And then
I'se warrant ye'll be for fire thir cauld nights, or if ye want
candle, that's an expensive article, for it's against the rules.
And now I've tell'd ye the head articles of the charge, and I
dinna think there's muckle mair, though there will aye be some odd
expenses ower and abune.'

'Well, sir, I must trust to your conscience, if ever you happened
to hear of such a thing; I cannot help myself.'

'Na, na, sir,' answered the cautious jailor, 'I'll no permit you
to be saying that. I'm forcing naething upon ye; an ye dinna like
the price, ye needna take the article. I force no man; I was only
explaining what civility was. But if ye like to take the common
run of the house, it's a' ane to me; I'll be saved trouble, that's
a'.'

'Nay, my friend, I have, as I suppose you may easily guess, no
inclination to dispute your terms upon such a penalty,' answered
Bertram. 'Come, show me where I am to be, for I would fain be
alone for a little while.'

'Ay, ay, come along then, Captain,' said the fellow, with a
contortion of visage which he intended to be a smile; 'and I'll
tell you now--to show you that I HAVE a conscience, as ye ca't
--d--n me if I charge ye abune six-pence a day for the freedom o' the
court, and ye may walk in't very near three hours a day, and play
at pitch-and-toss and hand ba' and what not.'

With this gracious promise he ushered Bertram into the house, and
showed him up a steep and narrow stone staircase, at the top of
which was a strong door, clenched with iron and studded with
nails. Beyond this door was a narrow passage or gallery, having
three cells on each side, wretched vaults, with iron bed-frames
and straw mattresses. But at the farther end was a small apartment
of rather a more decent appearance, that is, having less the air
of a place of confinement, since, unless for the large lock and
chain upon the door, and the crossed and ponderous stanchions upon
the window, it rather resembled the 'worst inn's worst room.' It
was designed as a sort of infirmary for prisoners whose state of
health required some indulgence; and, in fact, Donald Laider,
Bertram's destined chum, had been just dragged out of one of the
two beds which it contained, to try whether clean straw and whisky
might not have a better chance to cure his intermitting fever.
This process of ejection had been carried into force by Mrs. Mac-
Guffog while her husband parleyed with Bertram in the courtyard,
that good lady having a distinct presentiment of the manner in
which the treaty must necessarily terminate. Apparently the
expulsion had not taken place without some application of the
strong hand, for one of the bed-posts of a sort of tent-bed was
broken down, so that the tester and curtains hung forward into the
middle of the narrow chamber, like the banner of a chieftain half-
sinking amid the confusion of a combat.

'Never mind that being out o' sorts, Captain,' said Mrs. Mac-
Guffog, who now followed them into the room; then, turning her
back to the prisoner, with as much delicacy as the action
admitted, she whipped from her knee her ferret garter, and applied
it to splicing and fastening the broken bed-post; then used more
pins than her apparel could well spare to fasten up the bed-
curtains in festoons; then shook the bed-clothes into something
like form; then flung over all a tattered patch-work quilt, and
pronounced that things were now 'something purpose-like.' 'And
there's your bed, Captain,' pointing to a massy four-posted hulk,
which, owing to the inequality of the floor, that had sunk
considerably (the house, though new, having been built by
contract), stood on three legs, and held the fourth aloft as if
pawing the air, and in the attitude of advancing like an elephant
passant upon the panel of a coach,--'there's your bed and the
blankets; but if ye want sheets, or bowster, or pillow, or ony
sort o' nappery for the table, or for your hands, ye'll hae to
speak to me about it, for that's out o' the gudeman's line (Mac-
Guffog had by this time left the room, to avoid, probably, any
appeal which might be made to him upon this new exaction), and he
never engages for ony thing like that.'

'In God's name,' said Bertram, 'let me have what is decent, and
make any charge you please.'

'Aweel, aweel, that's sune settled; we'll no excise you neither,
though we live sae near the custom-house. And I maun see to get
you some fire and some dinner too, I'se warrant; but your dinner
will be but a puir ane the day, no expecting company that would be
nice and fashious.' So saying, and in all haste, Mrs. Mac-Guffog
fetched a scuttle of live coals, and having replenished 'the rusty
grate, unconscious of a fire' for months before, she proceeded
with unwashed hands to arrange the stipulated bed-linen (alas, how
different from Ailie Dinmont's!), and, muttering to herself as she
discharged her task, seemed, in inveterate spleen of temper, to
grudge even those accommodations for which she was to receive
payment. At length, however, she departed, grumbling between her
teeth, that 'she wad rather lock up a haill ward than be fiking
about thae niff-naffy gentles that gae sae muckle fash wi' their
fancies.'

When she was gone Bertram found himself reduced to the alternative
of pacing his little apartment for exercise, or gazing out upon
the sea in such proportions as could be seen from the narrow panes
of his window, obscured by dirt and by close iron bars, or reading
over the records of brutal wit and blackguardism which despair had
scrawled upon the half-whitened walls. The sounds were as
uncomfortable as the objects of sight; the sullen dash of the
tide, which was now retreating, and the occasional opening and
shutting of a door, with all its accompaniments of jarring bolts
and creaking hinges, mingling occasionally with the dull monotony
of the retiring ocean. Sometimes, too, he could hear the hoarse
growl of the keeper, or the shriller strain of his helpmate,
almost always in the tone of discontent, anger, or insolence. At
other times the large mastiff chained in the courtyard answered
with furious bark the insults of the idle loiterers who made a
sport of incensing him.

At length the tedium of this weary space was broken by the
entrance of a dirty-looking serving-wench, who made some
preparations for dinner by laying a half-dirty cloth upon a whole-
dirty deal table. A knife and fork, which had not been worn out by
overcleaning, flanked a cracked delf plate; a nearly empty
mustard-pot, placed on one side of the table, balanced a salt-
cellar, containing an article of a greyish, or rather a blackish,
mixture, upon the other, both of stoneware, and bearing too
obvious marks of recent service. Shortly after, the same Hebe
brought up a plate of beef-collops, done in the frying-pan, with a
huge allowance of grease floating in an ocean of lukewarm water;
and, having added a coarse loaf to these savoury viands, she
requested to know what liquors the gentleman chose to order. The
appearance of this fare was not very inviting; but Bertram
endeavoured to mend his commons by ordering wine, which he found
tolerably good, and, with the assistance of some indifferent
cheese, made his dinner chiefly off the brown loaf. When his meal
was over the girl presented her master's compliments, and, if
agreeable to the gentleman, he would help him to spend the
evening. Bertram desired to be excused, and begged, instead of
this gracious society, that he might be furnished with paper, pen,
ink, and candles. The light appeared in the shape of one long
broken tallow-candle, inclining over a tin candlestick coated with
grease; as for the writing materials, the prisoner was informed
that he might have them the next day if he chose to send out to
buy them. Bertram next desired the maid to procure him a book, and
enforced his request with a shilling; in consequence of which,
after long absence, she reappeared with two odd volumes of the
'Newgate Calendar,' which she had borrowed from Sam Silverquill,
an idle apprentice, who was imprisoned under a charge of forgery.
Having laid the books on the table she retired, and left Bertram
to studies which were not ill adapted to his present melancholy
situation.




CHAPTER XLV

     But if thou shouldst be dragg'd in scorn
       To yonder ignominious tree,
     Thou shall not want one faithful friend
       To share the cruel fates' decree.

          SHENSTONE.


Plunged in the gloomy reflections which were naturally excited by
his dismal reading and disconsolate situation, Bertram for the
first time in his life felt himself affected with a disposition to
low spirits. 'I have been in worse situations than this too,' he
said; 'more dangerous, for here is no danger; more dismal in
prospect, for my present confinement must necessarily be short;
more intolerable for the time, for here, at least, I have fire,
food, and shelter. Yet, with reading these bloody tales of crime
and misery in a place so corresponding to the ideas which they
excite, and in listening to these sad sounds, I feel a stronger
disposition to melancholy than in my life I ever experienced. But
I will not give way to it. Begone, thou record of guilt and
infamy!' he said, flinging the book upon the spare bed; 'a
Scottish jail shall not break, on the very first day, the spirits
which have resisted climate, and want, and penury, and disease,
and imprisonment in a foreign land. I have fought many a hard
battle with Dame Fortune, and she shall not beat me now if I can
help it.'

Then bending his mind to a strong effort, he endeavoured to view
his situation in the most favourable light. Delaserre must soon be
in Scotland; the certificates from his commanding officer must
soon arrive; nay, if Mannering were first applied to, who could
say but the effect might be a reconciliation between them? He had
often observed, and now remembered, that when his former colonel
took the part of any one, it was never by halves, and that he
seemed to love those persons most who had lain under obligation to
him. In the present case a favour, which could be asked with
honour and granted with readiness, might be the means of
reconciling them to each other. From this his feelings naturally
turned towards Julia; and, without very nicely measuring the
distance between a soldier of fortune, who expected that her
father's attestation would deliver him from confinement, and the
heiress of that father's wealth and expectations, he was building
the gayest castle in the clouds, and varnishing it with all the
tints of a summer-evening sky, when his labour was interrupted by
a loud knocking at the outer gate, answered by the barking of the
gaunt half-starved mastiff which was quartered in the courtyard as
an addition to the garrison. After much scrupulous precaution the
gate was opened and some person admitted. The house-door was next
unbarred, unlocked, and unchained, a dog's feet pattered upstairs
in great haste, and the animal was heard scratching and whining at
the door of the room. Next a heavy step was heard lumbering up,
and Mac-Guffog's voice in the character of pilot--'This way, this
way; take care of the step; that's the room.' Bertram's door was
then unbolted, and to his great surprise and joy his terrier,
Wasp, rushed into the apartment and almost devoured him with
caresses, followed by the massy form of his friend from Charlie's
Hope.

'Eh whow! Eh whow!' ejaculated the honest farmer, as he looked
round upon his friend's miserable apartment and wretched
accommodation--'What's this o't! what's this o't!'

'Just a trick of fortune, my good friend,' said Bertram, rising
and shaking him heartily by the hand, 'that's all.'

'But what will be done about it? or what CAN be done about it?'
said honest Dandie. 'Is't for debt, or what is't for?'

'Why, it is not for debt,' answered Bertram; 'and if you have time
to sit down, I'll tell you all I know of the matter myself.'

'If I hae time?' said Dandie, with an accent on the word that
sounded like a howl of derision. 'Ou, what the deevil am I come
here for, man, but just ance errand to see about it? But ye'll no
be the waur o' something to eat, I trow; it's getting late at
e'en. I tell'd the folk at the Change, where I put up Dumple, to
send ower my supper here, and the chield Mac-Guffog is agreeable
to let it in; I hae settled a' that. And now let's hear your
story. Whisht, Wasp, man! wow, but he's glad to see you, poor
thing!'

Bertram's story, being confined to the accident of Hazlewood, and
the confusion made between his own identity and that of one of the
smugglers who had been active in the assault of Woodbourne, and
chanced to bear the same name, was soon told. Dinmont listened
very attentively. 'Aweel,' he said, 'this suld be nae sic dooms
desperate business surely; the lad's doing weel again that was
hurt, and what signifies twa or three lead draps in his shouther?
if ye had putten out his ee it would hae been another case. But
eh, as I wuss auld Sherra Pleydell was to the fore here! Od, he
was the man for sorting them, and the queerest rough-spoken deevil
too that ever ye heard!'