After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason
for so desperate an attempt; assured me, "he only meant to do me
all the service he was able;" and spoke so very movingly, that at
last I descended to treat him like an animal which had some little
portion of reason.  I gave him a very short relation of my voyage;
of the conspiracy against me by my own men; of the country where
they set me on shore, and of my five years residence there.  All
which he looked upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I
took great offence; for I had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so
peculiar to Yahoos, in all countries where they preside, and,
consequently, their disposition of suspecting truth in others of
their own species.  I asked him, "whether it were the custom in his
country to say the thing which was not?"  I assured him, "I had
almost forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I had lived a
thousand years in Houyhnhnmland, I should never have heard a lie
from the meanest servant; that I was altogether indifferent whether
he believed me or not; but, however, in return for his favours, I
would give so much allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to
answer any objection he would please to make, and then he might
easily discover the truth."

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me tripping
in some part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of
my veracity.  But he added, "that since I professed so inviolable
an attachment to truth, I must give him my word and honour to bear
him company in this voyage, without attempting any thing against my
life; or else he would continue me a prisoner till we arrived at
Lisbon."  I gave him the promise he required; but at the same time
protested, "that I would suffer the greatest hardships, rather than
return to live among Yahoos."

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident.  In gratitude
to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest request,
and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind, although it
often broke out; which he suffered to pass without observation.
But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to my cabin, to
avoid seeing any of the crew.  The captain had often entreated me
to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best
suit of clothes he had.  This I would not be prevailed on to
accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing that had been on
the back of a Yahoo.  I only desired he would lend me two clean
shirts, which, having been washed since he wore them, I believed
would not so much defile me.  These I changed every second day, and
washed them myself.

We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715.  At our landing, the captain
forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble
from crowding about me.  I was conveyed to his own house; and at my
earnest request he led me up to the highest room backwards.  I
conjured him "to conceal from all persons what I had told him of
the Houyhnhnms; because the least hint of such a story would not
only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me in
danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition."  The
captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes newly made; but I
would not suffer the tailor to take my measure; however, Don Pedro
being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough.  He accoutred
me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for twenty-four
hours before I would use them.

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which
were suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so
obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really
began to tolerate his company.  He gained so far upon me, that I
ventured to look out of the back window.  By degrees I was brought
into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but drew my
head back in a fright.  In a week's time he seduced me down to the
door.  I found my terror gradually lessened, but my hatred and
contempt seemed to increase.  I was at last bold enough to walk the
street in his company, but kept my nose well stopped with rue, or
sometimes with tobacco.

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my
domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and
conscience, "that I ought to return to my native country, and live
at home with my wife and children."  He told me, "there was an
English ship in the port just ready to sail, and he would furnish
me with all things necessary."  It would be tedious to repeat his
arguments, and my contradictions.  He said, "it was altogether
impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to live in;
but I might command in my own house, and pass my time in a manner
as recluse as I pleased."

I complied at last, finding I could not do better.  I left Lisbon
the 24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was
the master I never inquired.  Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship,
and lent me twenty pounds.  He took kind leave of me, and embraced
me at parting, which I bore as well as I could.  During this last
voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his men; but,
pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin.  On the fifth of
December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine in the
morning, and at three in the afternoon I got safe to my house at
Rotherhith. {7}

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because
they concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the
sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt;
and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to them.
For although, since my unfortunate exile from the Houyhnhnm
country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the sight of Yahoos,
and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and
imagination were perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of
those exalted Houyhnhnms.  And when I began to consider that, by
copulating with one of the Yahoo species I had become a parent of
more, it struck me with the utmost shame, confusion, and horror.

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and
kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that
odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an
hour.  At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last
return to England.  During the first year, I could not endure my
wife or children in my presence; the very smell of them was
intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room.
To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out
of the same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me
by the hand.  The first money I laid out was to buy two young
stone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the
groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by
the smell he contracts in the stable.  My horses understand me
tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day.
They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity
with me and friendship to each other.



CHAPTER XII.



[The author's veracity.  His design in publishing this work.  His
censure of those travellers who swerve from the truth.  The author
clears himself from any sinister ends in writing.  An objection
answered.  The method of planting colonies.  His native country
commended.  The right of the crown to those countries described by
the author is justified.  The difficulty of conquering them.  The
author takes his last leave of the reader; proposes his manner of
living for the future; gives good advice, and concludes.]

Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my
travels for sixteen years and above seven months:  wherein I have
not been so studious of ornament as of truth.  I could, perhaps,
like others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales;
but I rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest
manner and style; because my principal design was to inform, and
not to amuse thee.

It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are
seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form
descriptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land.  Whereas a
traveller's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and
to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good, example of what
they deliver concerning foreign places.

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller,
before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged
to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended
to print was absolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then
the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some
writers, to make their works pass the better upon the public,
impose the grossest falsities on the unwary reader.  I have perused
several books of travels with great delight in my younger days; but
having since gone over most parts of the globe, and been able to
contradict many fabulous accounts from my own observation, it has
given me a great disgust against this part of reading, and some
indignation to see the credulity of mankind so impudently abused.
Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to think my poor
endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, I imposed on
myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I would strictly
adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least
temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures
and example of my noble master and the other illustrious Houyhnhnms
of whom I had so long the honour to be an humble hearer.


- Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem
Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.


I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings
which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other
talent, except a good memory, or an exact journal.  I know
likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk
into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come last, and
therefore lie uppermost.  And it is highly probable, that such
travellers, who shall hereafter visit the countries described in
this work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (if there be any),
and adding many new discoveries of their own, justle me out of
vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever I
was an author.  This indeed would be too great a mortification, if
I wrote for fame:  but as my sole intention was the public good, I
cannot be altogether disappointed.  For who can read of the virtues
I have mentioned in the glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed
of his own vices, when he considers himself as the reasoning,
governing animal of his country?  I shall say nothing of those
remote nations where Yahoos preside; among which the least
corrupted are the Brobdingnagians; whose wise maxims in morality
and government it would be our happiness to observe.  But I forbear
descanting further, and rather leave the judicious reader to his
own remarks and application.

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet
with no censurers:  for what objections can be made against a
writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant
countries, where we have not the least interest, with respect
either to trade or negotiations?  I have carefully avoided every
fault with which common writers of travels are often too justly
charged.  Besides, I meddle not the least with any party, but write
without passion, prejudice, or ill-will against any man, or number
of men, whatsoever.  I write for the noblest end, to inform and
instruct mankind; over whom I may, without breach of modesty,
pretend to some superiority, from the advantages I received by
conversing so long among the most accomplished Houyhnhnms.  I write
without any view to profit or praise.  I never suffer a word to
pass that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least
offence, even to those who are most ready to take it.  So that I
hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly
blameless; against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers,
Observers, Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to
find matter for exercising their talents.

I confess, it was whispered to me, "that I was bound in duty, as a
subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of
state at my first coming over; because, whatever lands are
discovered by a subject belong to the crown."  But I doubt whether
our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy as those
of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans.  The Lilliputians, I
think, are hardly worth the charge of a fleet and army to reduce
them; and I question whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt
the Brobdingnagians; or whether an English army would be much at
their ease with the Flying Island over their heads.  The Houyhnhnms
indeed appear not to be so well prepared for war, a science to
which they are perfect strangers, and especially against missive
weapons.  However, supposing myself to be a minister of state, I
could never give my advice for invading them.  Their prudence,
unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their
country, would amply supply all defects in the military art.
Imagine twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst of an
European army, confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages,
battering the warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from
their hinder hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given
to Augustus, Recalcitrat undique tutus.  But, instead of proposals
for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish they were in
a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number of their
inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first
principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit,
fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity.  The
names of all which virtues are still retained among us in most
languages, and are to be met with in modern, as well as ancient
authors; which I am able to assert from my own small reading.

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his
majesty's dominions by my discoveries.  To say the truth, I had
conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice
of princes upon those occasions.  For instance, a crew of pirates
are driven by a storm they know not whither; at length a boy
discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and
plunder, they see a harmless people, are entertained with kindness;
they give the country a new name; they take formal possession of it
for their king; they set up a rotten plank, or a stone, for a
memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the natives, bring away
a couple more, by force, for a sample; return home, and get their
pardon.  Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title by
divine right.  Ships are sent with the first opportunity; the
natives driven out or destroyed; their princes tortured to discover
their gold; a free license given to all acts of inhumanity and
lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhabitants:  and
this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious an
expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civilize an
idolatrous and barbarous people!

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the
British nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their
wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies; their liberal
endowments for the advancement of religion and learning; their
choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity; their
caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and
conversations from this the mother kingdom; their strict regard to
the distribution of justice, in supplying the civil administration
through all their colonies with officers of the greatest abilities,
utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the
most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views than
the happiness of the people over whom they preside, and the honour
of the king their master.

But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have
any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out
by colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco,
I did humbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our
zeal, our valour, or our interest.  However, if those whom it more
concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose,
when I shall be lawfully called, that no European did ever visit
those countries before me.  I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be
believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the two Yahoos,
said to have been seen many years ago upon a mountain in
Houyhnhnmland.

But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's
name, it never came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as
my affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and
self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised
against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my
courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my
little garden at Redriff; to apply those excellent lessons of
virtue which I learned among the Houyhnhnms; to instruct the Yahoos
of my own family, is far as I shall find them docible animals; to
behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate
myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature; to lament
the brutality to Houyhnhnms in my own country, but always treat
their persons with respect, for the sake of my noble master, his
family, his friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm race, whom these of
ours have the honour to resemble in all their lineaments, however
their intellectuals came to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at
the farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the
utmost brevity) the few questions I asked her.  Yet, the smell of a
Yahoo continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped
with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves.  And, although it be hard
for a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether
out of hopes, in some time, to suffer a neighbour Yahoo in my
company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or
his claws.

My reconcilement to the Yahoo kind in general might not be so
difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies
only which nature has entitled them to.  I am not in the least
provoked at the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool,
a lord, a gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an
evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is
all according to the due course of things:  but when I behold a
lump of deformity and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with
pride, it immediately breaks all the measures of my patience;
neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and
such a vice, could tally together.  The wise and virtuous
Houyhnhnms, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a rational
creature, have no name for this vice in their language, which has
no terms to express any thing that is evil, except those whereby
they describe the detestable qualities of their Yahoos, among which
they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for want of
thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself in other
countries where that animal presides.  But I, who had more
experience, could plainly observe some rudiments of it among the
wild Yahoos.

But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the government of reason, are no
more proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for
not wanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast
of, although he must be miserable without them.  I dwell the longer
upon this subject from the desire I have to make the society of an
English Yahoo by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here
entreat those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they
will not presume to come in my sight.




Footnotes:

{1}  A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

{2}  An act of parliament has been since passed by which some
breaches of trust have been made capital.

{3}  Britannia.--Sir W. Scott.

{4}  London.--Sir W. Scott.

{5}  This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766).
The above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another
form, commencing:- "I told him that should I happen to live in a
kingdom where lots were in vogue," &c.  The names Tribnia and
Langdon an not mentioned, and the "close stool" and its
signification do not occur.

{6}  This paragraph is not in the original editions.

{7}  The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here,
though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's
home in England.