I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their
search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes
use for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some
other little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the
emperor, I did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I
apprehended they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of
my possession.



CHAPTER III.



[The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in
a very uncommon manner.  The diversions of the court of Lilliput
described.  The author has his liberty granted him upon certain
conditions.]

My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor
and his court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that
I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time.  I
took all possible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition.
The natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger
from me.  I would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them
dance on my hand; and at last the boys and girls would venture to
come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair.  I had now made a good
progress in understanding and speaking the language.  The emperor
had a mind one day to entertain me with several of the country
shows, wherein they exceed all nations I have known, both for
dexterity and magnificence.  I was diverted with none so much as
that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a slender white thread,
extended about two feet, and twelve inches from the ground.  Upon
which I shall desire liberty, with the reader's patience, to
enlarge a little.

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are
candidates for great employments, and high favour at court.  They
are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of
noble birth, or liberal education.  When a great office is vacant,
either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of
those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and
the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest,
without falling, succeeds in the office.  Very often the chief
ministers themselves are commanded to show their skill, and to
convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.
Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight
rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole
empire.  I have seen him do the summerset several times together,
upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a common
packthread in England.  My friend Reldresal, principal secretary
for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial, the
second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much
upon a par.

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof
great numbers are on record.  I myself have seen two or three
candidates break a limb.  But the danger is much greater, when the
ministers themselves are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by
contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so
far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall,
and some of them two or three.  I was assured that, a year or two
before my arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, if
one of the king's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground,
had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the
emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions.
The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six
inches long; one is blue, the other red, and the third green.
These threads are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the
emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour.
The ceremony is performed in his majesty's great chamber of state,
where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity very
different from the former, and such as I have not observed the
least resemblance of in any other country of the new or old world.
The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the
horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, sometimes leap
over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and forward,
several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed.
Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first
minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to
himself.  Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds
out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-
coloured silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the
third, which they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and
you see few great persons about this court who are not adorned with
one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my
very feet without starting.  The riders would leap them over my
hand, as I held it on the ground; and one of the emperor's
huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which
was indeed a prodigious leap.  I had the good fortune to divert the
emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner.  I desired he
would order several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of
an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his majesty commanded
the master of his woods to give directions accordingly; and the
next morning six woodmen arrived with as many carriages, drawn by
eight horses to each.  I took nine of these sticks, and fixing them
firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet and a half
square, I took four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each
corner, about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my
handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and extended it
on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and the four
parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the
handkerchief, served as ledges on each side.  When I had finished
my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses
twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain.  His
majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one,
in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to
exercise them.  As soon as they got into order they divided into
two parties, performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows,
drew their swords, fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in
short discovered the best military discipline I ever beheld.  The
parallel sticks secured them and their horses from falling over the
stage; and the emperor was so much delighted, that he ordered this
entertainment to be repeated several days, and once was pleased to
be lifted up and give the word of command; and with great
difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let me hold her in
her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she was able to
take a full view of the whole performance.  It was my good fortune,
that no ill accident happened in these entertainments; only once a
fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his
hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he
overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them
both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop
with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse
that fell was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no
hurt; and I repaired my handkerchief as well as I could:  however,
I would not trust to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous
enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was
entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an
express to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding
near the place where I was first taken up, had seen a great black
substance lying on the around, very oddly shaped, extending its
edges round, as wide as his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in
the middle as high as a man; that it was no living creature, as
they at first apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion;
and some of them had walked round it several times; that, by
mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to the top,
which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that it
was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be something
belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased, they
would undertake to bring it with only five horses.  I presently
knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
intelligence.  It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our
shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the place
where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string
to my head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was
swimming, fell off after I came to land; the string, as I
conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I never observed, but
thought my hat had been lost at sea.  I entreated his imperial
majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon as
possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it:  and the
next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good
condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and
half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks
were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was
dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in
that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less
damage than I expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that
part of his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be
in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular
manner.  He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as
far asunder as I conveniently could.  He then commanded his general
(who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to
draw up the troops in close order, and march them under me; the
foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums
beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced.  This body consisted
of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse.  His majesty gave
orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his march should
observe the strictest decency with regard to my person; which
however could not prevent some of the younger officers from turning
up their eyes as they passed under me:  and, to confess the truth,
my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition, that they
afforded some opportunities for laughter and admiration.

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his
majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and
then in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except
Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be
my mortal enemy.  But it was carried against him by the whole
board, and confirmed by the emperor.  That minister was galbet, or
admiral of the realm, very much in his master's confidence, and a
person well versed in affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion.
However, he was at length persuaded to comply; but prevailed that
the articles and conditions upon which I should be set free, and to
which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself.  These articles
were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in person attended by two
under-secretaries, and several persons of distinction.  After they
were read, I was demanded to swear to the performance of them;
first in the manner of my own country, and afterwards in the method
prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my
left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the
crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear.  But
because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style
and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to
know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a
translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I
was able, which I here offer to the public.

"Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty
Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose
dominions extend five thousand blustrugs (about twelve miles in
circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all
monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the
centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the
princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring,
comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter:
his most sublime majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately
arrived at our celestial dominions, the following articles, which,
by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to perform:-

"1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without
our license under our great seal.

"2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our
express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within doors.

"3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal
high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or
field of corn.

"4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not
to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their
horses, or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands
without their own consent.

"5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-
mountain shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger
and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the
said messenger back (if so required) safe to our imperial presence.

"6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of
Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now
preparing to invade us.

"7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain
great stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and
other our royal buildings.

"8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time, deliver
in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a
computation of his own paces round the coast.

"Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above
articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of
meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects,
with free access to our royal person, and other marks of our
favour.  Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the
ninety-first moon of our reign."

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness
and content, although some of them were not so honourable as I
could have wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of
Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral:  whereupon my chains were
immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty.  The emperor
himself, in person, did me the honour to be by at the whole
ceremony.  I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myself at his
majesty's feet:  but he commanded me to rise; and after many
gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I
shall not repeat, he added, "that he hoped I should prove a useful
servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred
upon me, or might do for the future."

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the
recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a
quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724
Lilliputians.  Some time after, asking a friend at court how they
came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his
majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by the
help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the
proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of
their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 of theirs, and
consequently would require as much food as was necessary to support
that number of Lilliputians.  By which the reader may conceive an
idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the prudent and
exact economy of so great a prince.



CHAPTER IV.



[Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
emperor's palace.  A conversation between the author and a
principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire.  The
author's offers to serve the emperor in his wars.]

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was,
that I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which
the emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no
hurt either to the inhabitants or their houses.  The people had
notice, by proclamation, of my design to visit the town.  The wall
which encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least
eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very
safely round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet
distance.  I stepped over the great western gate, and passed very
gently, and sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my
short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the
houses with the skirts of my coat.  I walked with the utmost
circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might
remain in the streets, although the orders were very strict, that
all people should keep in their houses, at their own peril.  The
garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators,
that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous
place.  The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being
five hundred feet long.  The two great streets, which run across
and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide.  The lanes
and alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I
passed, are from twelve to eighteen inches.  The town is capable of
holding five hundred thousand souls:  the houses are from three to
five stories:  the shops and markets well provided.

The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two
great streets meet.  It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and
twenty feet distance from the buildings.  I had his majesty's
permission to step over this wall; and, the space being so wide
between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side.
The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other
courts:  in the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very
desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the great
gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches high,
and seven inches wide.  Now the buildings of the outer court were
at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride
over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls
were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick.  At the
same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the
magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till
three days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some
of the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards
distant from the city.  Of these trees I made two stools, each
about three feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight.  The
people having received notice a second time, I went again through
the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands.  When I came
to the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took
the other in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set
it down on the space between the first and second court, which was
eight feet wide.  I then stept over the building very conveniently
from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me with a
hooked stick.  By this contrivance I got into the inmost court;
and, lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of
the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered
the most splendid apartments that can be imagined.  There I saw the
empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with
their chief attendants about them.  Her imperial majesty was
pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the
window her hand to kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of
this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now
almost ready for the press; containing a general description of
this empire, from its first erection, through along series of
princes; with a particular account of their wars and politics,
laws, learning, and religion; their plants and animals; their
peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and
useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such events
and transactions as happened to the public or to myself during a
residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,
Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private
affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant.  He ordered
his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an
hours audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his
quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good offices he
had done me during my solicitations at court.  I offered to lie
down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but he chose
rather to let me hold him in my hand during our conversation.  He
began with compliments on my liberty; said "he might pretend to
some merit in it;" but, however, added, "that if it had not been
for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not
have obtained it so soon.  For," said he, "as flourishing a
condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under
two mighty evils:  a violent faction at home, and the danger of an
invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad.  As to the first,
you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there have
been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low heels of their
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves.  It is alleged,
indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient
constitution; but, however this be, his majesty has determined to
make use only of low heels in the administration of the government,
and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but
observe; and particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are
lower at least by a drurr than any of his court (drurr is a measure
about the fourteenth part of an inch).  The animosities between
these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat, nor
drink, nor talk with each other.  We compute the Tramecksan, or
high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is wholly on our
side.  We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the crown,
to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we can
plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other,
which gives him a hobble in his gait.  Now, in the midst of these
intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the
island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the
universe, almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty.  For
as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms
and states in the world inhabited by human creatures as large as
yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather
conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars;
because it is certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in
a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's
dominions:  besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no
mention of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput
and Blefuscu.  Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell
you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons
past.  It began upon the following occasion.  It is allowed on all
hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them,
was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's grandfather,
while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according
to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers.
Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all
his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of
their eggs.  The people so highly resented this law, that our
histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that
account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown.
These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of
Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for
refuge to that empire.  It is computed that eleven thousand persons
have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break
their eggs at the smaller end.  Many hundred large volumes have
been published upon this controversy:  but the books of the Big-
endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered
incapable by law of holding employments.  During the course of
these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did frequently expostulate
by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion,
by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet
Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which is
their Alcoran).  This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon
the text; for the words are these:  'that all true believers break
their eggs at the convenient end.'  And which is the convenient
end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man's
conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to
determine.  Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in
the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assistance and
encouragement from their party here at home, that a bloody war has
been carried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons,
with various success; during which time we have lost forty capital
ships, and a much a greater number of smaller vessels, together
with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the
damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater
than ours.  However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and
are just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial
majesty, placing great confidence in your valour and strength, has
commanded me to lay this account of his affairs before you."

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor;
and to let him know, "that I thought it would not become me, who
was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with
the hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all
invaders."



CHAPTER V.



[The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion.
A high title of honour is conferred upon him.  Ambassadors arrive
from the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace.  The empress's
apartment on fire by an accident; the author instrumental in saving
the rest of the palace.]

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of
Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight
hundred yards wide.  I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of
an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the
coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships,
who had received no intelligence of me; all intercourse between the
two empires having been strictly forbidden during the war, upon
pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor upon all vessels
whatsoever.  I communicated to his majesty a project I had formed
of seizing the enemy's whole fleet; which, as our scouts assured
us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first fair
wind.  I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the depth of
the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told me, that in the
middle, at high-water, it was seventy glumgluffs deep, which is
about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it fifty
glumgluffs at most.  I walked towards the north-east coast, over
against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I took out my
small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's fleet at anchor,
consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of
transports:  I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for
which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable
and bars of iron.  The cable was about as thick as packthread and
the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle.  I trebled
the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I twisted
three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a
hook.  Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back
to the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and
stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half
an hour before high water.  I waded with what haste I could, and
swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground.  I
arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour.  The enemy was so
frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships,
and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty
thousand souls.  I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to
the hole at the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the
end.  While I was thus employed, the enemy discharged several
thousand arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and,
beside the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work.
My greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have
infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient.  I
kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a
private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the
emperor's searchers.  These I took out and fastened as strongly as
I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with my work,
in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck against the
glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further
than a little to discompose them.  I had now fastened all the
hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a
ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors,
so that the boldest part of my enterprise remained.  I therefore
let go the cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I
resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors,
receiving about two hundred shots in my face and hands; then I took
up the knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and
with great ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men of war after
me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I
intended, were at first confounded with astonishment.  They had
seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the
ships run adrift or fall foul on each other:  but when they
perceived the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at
the end, they set up such a scream of grief and despair as it is
almost impossible to describe or conceive.  When I had got out of
danger, I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my
hands and face; and rubbed on some of the same ointment that was
given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned.  I then
took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide
was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and
arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the
issue of this great adventure.  They saw the ships move forward in
a large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my
breast in water.  When I advanced to the middle of the channel,
they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck.
The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet
was approaching in a hostile manner:  but he was soon eased of his
fears; for the channel growing shallower every step I made, I came
in a short time within hearing, and holding up the end of the
cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loud voice,
"Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!"  This great prince
received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and created
me a nardac upon the spot, which is the highest title of honour
among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing
all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports.  And so
unmeasureable is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think
of nothing less than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a
province, and governing it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-
endian exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end
of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole monarch of the
whole world.  But I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by
many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as well as justice;
and I plainly protested, "that I would never be an instrument of
bringing a free and brave people into slavery."  And, when the
matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were
of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes
and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive
me.  He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I
was told that some of the wisest appeared, at least by their
silence, to be of my opinion; but others, who were my secret
enemies, could not forbear some expressions which, by a side-wind,
reflected on me.  And from this time began an intrigue between his
majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent against me,
which broke out in less than two months, and had like to have ended
in my utter destruction.  Of so little weight are the greatest
services to princes, when put into the balance with a refusal to
gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn
embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was
soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor,
wherewith I shall not trouble the reader.  There were six
ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred persons, and their
entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their
master, and the importance of their business.  When their treaty
was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit
I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their
excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their
friend, made me a visit in form.  They began with many compliments
upon my valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the
emperor their master's name, and desired me to show them some
proofs of my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many
wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the
reader with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the
honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their
master, the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole
world with admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend,
before I returned to my own country.  Accordingly, the next time I
had the honour to see our emperor, I desired his general license to
wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me,
as I could perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the
reason, till I had a whisper from a certain person, "that Flimnap
and Bolgolam had represented my intercourse with those ambassadors
as a mark of disaffection;" from which I am sure my heart was
wholly free.  And this was the first time I began to conceive some
imperfect idea of courts and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an
interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from
each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself
upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an
avowed contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor,
standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their
fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their
speech, in the Lilliputian tongue.  And it must be confessed, that
from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both
realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is mutual
among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their
young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish
themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners;
there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who
dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both
tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my
respects to the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great
misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy
adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon
which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked,
upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but
an extreme necessity have forced me to submit.  But being now a
nardac of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked
upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice),
never once mentioned them to me.  However, it was not long before I
had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then
thought, a most signal service.  I was alarmed at midnight with the
cries of many hundred people at my door; by which, being suddenly
awaked, I was in some kind of terror.  I heard the word Burglum
repeated incessantly:  several of the emperor's court, making their
way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the
palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment was on fire, by the
carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while she was
reading a romance.  I got up in an instant; and orders being given
to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine
night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any
of the people.  I found they had already applied ladders to the
walls of the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but
the water was at some distance.  These buckets were about the size
of large thimbles, and the poor people supplied me with them as
fast as they could:  but the flame was so violent that they did
little good.  I might easily have stifled it with my coat, which I
unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came away only in my
leathern jerkin.  The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable;
and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down
to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not
suddenly thought of an expedient.  I had, the evening before, drunk
plentifully of a most delicious wine called glimigrim, (the
Blefuscudians call it flunec, but ours is esteemed the better
sort,) which is very diuretic.  By the luckiest chance in the
world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it.  The heat I
had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to
quench them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I
voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the proper
places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and
the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in
erecting, preserved from destruction.

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to
congratulate with the emperor:  because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty
might resent the manner by which I had performed it:  for, by the
fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what
quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace.
But I was a little comforted by a message from his majesty, "that
he would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my pardon
in form:" which, however, I could not obtain; and I was privately
assured, "that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of
what I had done, removed to the most distant side of the court,
firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired for
her use:  and, in the presence of her chief confidents could not
forbear vowing revenge."



CHAPTER VI.



[Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs;
the manner of educating their children.  The author's way of living
in that country.  His vindication of a great lady.]

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a
particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify
the curious reader with some general ideas.  As the common size of
the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact
proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees:  for
instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five
inches in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less:  their
geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations
downwards till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were
almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the
Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view:  they see with
great exactness, but at no great distance.  And, to show the
sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near, I have been
much pleased with observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so
large as a common fly; and a young girl threading an invisible
needle with invisible silk.  Their tallest trees are about seven
feet high:  I mean some of those in the great royal park, the tops
whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.  The other
vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to the
reader's imagination.

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for
many ages, has flourished in all its branches among them:  but
their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the
left to the right, like the Europeans, nor from the right to the
left, like the Arabians, nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but
aslant, from one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in
England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because
they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to
rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be
flat) will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their
resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet.  The learned
among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice
still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and
if they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear
country, I should be tempted to say a little in their
justification.  It is only to be wished they were as well executed.
The first I shall mention, relates to informers.  All crimes
against the state, are punished here with the utmost severity; but,
if the person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon
his trial, the accuser is immediately put to an ignominious death;
and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is quadruply
recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent,
for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he
has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be deficient,
it is largely supplied by the crown.  The emperor also confers on
him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his
innocence through the whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and
vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's
goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior
cunning; and, since it is necessary that there should be a
perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon
credit, where fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to
punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets
the advantage.  I remember, when I was once interceding with the
emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great sum of
money, which he had received by order and ran away with; and
happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it was
only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to
offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly
I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer, that
different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was
heartily ashamed. {2}

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon
which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to
be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput.  Whoever
can there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the
laws of his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain
privileges, according to his quality or condition of life, with a
proportionable sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that
use:  he likewise acquires the title of snilpall, or legal, which
is added to his name, but does not descend to his posterity.  And
these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us,
when I told them that our laws were enforced only by penalties,
without any mention of reward.  It is upon this account that the
image of Justice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six
eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify
circumspection; with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a
sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more disposed to reward
than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to
good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is
necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of human
understanding is fitted to some station or other; and that
Providence never intended to make the management of public affairs
a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of sublime
genius, of which there seldom are three born in an age:  but they
suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, to be in every
man's power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by experience
and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service of his
country, except where a course of study is required.  But they
thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied by
superior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be
put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified;
and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a
virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to
the public weal, as the practices of a man, whose inclinations led
him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to
multiply, and defend his corruptions.

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow
themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think
nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as
disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be
understood to mean the original institutions, and not the most
scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the
degenerate nature of man.  For, as to that infamous practice of
acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of
favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under
them, the reader is to observe, that they were first introduced by
the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew to the
present height by the gradual increase of party and faction.

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have
been in some other countries:  for they reason thus; that whoever
makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy
to the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no obligation,
and therefore such a man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ
extremely from ours.  For, since the conjunction of male and female
is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and
continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men
and women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives
of concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young
proceeds from the like natural principle:  for which reason they
will never allow that a child is under any obligation to his father
for begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him into the
world; which, considering the miseries of human life, was neither a
benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose thoughts,
in their love encounters, were otherwise employed.  Upon these, and
the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last of
all others to be trusted with the education of their own children;
and therefore they have in every town public nurseries, where all
parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send their
infants of both sexes to be reared and educated, when they come to
the age of twenty moons, at which time they are supposed to have
some rudiments of docility.  These schools are of several kinds,
suited to different qualities, and both sexes.  They have certain
professors well skilled in preparing children for such a condition
of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own
capacities, as well as inclinations.  I shall first say something
of the male nurseries, and then of the female.

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided
with grave and learned professors, and their several deputies.  The
clothes and food of the children are plain and simple.  They are
bred up in the principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty,
clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are always
employed in some business, except in the times of eating and
sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions
consisting of bodily exercises.  They are dressed by men till four
years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although
their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who are
aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial
offices.  They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go
together in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions,
and always in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies;
whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice,
to which our children are subject.  Their parents are suffered to
see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they
are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a
professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer
them to whisper, or use any fondling expressions, or bring any
presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.