BENTLEY. _[in scared, sobered, humble tones as he is borne off]_
What are you doing? Let me down. Please, Miss Szczepanowska--
_[they pass out of hearing]._
_An awestruck silence falls on the company as they speculate on
Bentley's fate._
JOHNNY. I wonder what shes going to do with him.
HYPATIA. Spank him, I hope. Spank him hard.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I hope so. I hope so. Tarleton: I'm beyond
measure humiliated and annoyed by my son's behavior in your house. I
had better take him home.
TARLETON. Not at all: not at all. Now, Chickabiddy: as Miss Lina
has taken away Ben, suppose you take away Mr Brown for a while.
GUNNER. _[with unexpected aggressiveness]_ My name isnt Brown.
_[They stare at him: he meets their stare defiantly, pugnacious with
sloe gin; drains the last drop from his glass; throws it on the
sideboard; and advances to the writing table]._ My name's Baker:
Julius Baker. Mister Baker. If any man doubts it, I'm ready for him.
MRS TARLETON. John: you shouldnt have given him that sloe gin. It's
gone to his head.
GUNNER. Dont you think it. Fruit beverages dont go to the head; and
what matter if they did? I say nothing to you, maam: I regard you
with respect and affection. _[Lachrymosely]_ You were very good to
my mother: my poor mother! _[Relapsing into his daring mood]_ But I
say my name's Baker; and I'm not to be treated as a child or made a
slave of by any man. Baker is my name. Did you think I was going to
give you my real name? Not likely. Not me.
TARLETON. So you thought of John Brown. That was clever of you.
GUNNER. Clever! Yes: we're not all such fools as you think: we
clerks. It was the bookkeeper put me up to that. It's the only name
that nobody gives as a false name, he said. Clever, eh? I should
think so.
MRS TARLETON. Come now, Julius--
GUNNER. _[reassuring her gravely]_ Dont you be alarmed, maam. I
know what is due to you as a lady and to myself as a gentleman. I
regard you with respect and affection. If you had been my mother, as
you ought to have been, I should have had more chance. But you shall
have no cause to be ashamed of me. The strength of a chain is no
greater than its weakest link; but the greatness of a poet is the
greatness of his greatest moment. Shakespear used to get drunk.
Frederick the Great ran away from a battle. But it was what they
could rise to, not what they could sink to, that made them great.
They werent good always; but they were good on their day. Well, on my
day--on my day, mind you--I'm good for something too. I know that Ive
made a silly exhibition of myself here. I know I didnt rise to the
occasion. I know that if youd been my mother, youd have been ashamed
of me. I lost my presence of mind: I was a contemptible coward. But
_[slapping himself on the chest]_ I'm not the man I was then. This
is my day. Ive seen the tenth possessor of a foolish face carried out
kicking and screaming by a woman. _[To Percival]_ You crowed pretty
big over me. You hypnotized me. But when you were put through the
fire yourself, you were found wanting. I tell you straight I dont
give a damn for you.
MRS TARLETON. No: thats naughty. You shouldnt say that before me.
GUNNER. I would cut my tongue out sooner than say anything vulgar in
your presence; for I regard you with respect and affection. I was not
swearing. I was affirming my manhood.
MRS TARLETON. What an idea! What puts all these things into your
head?
GUNNER. Oh, dont you think, because I'm a clerk, that I'm not one of
the intellectuals. I'm a reading man, a thinking man. I read in a
book--a high class six shilling book--this precept: Affirm your
manhood. It appealed to me. Ive always remembered it. I believe in
it. I feel I must do it to recover your respect after my cowardly
behavior. Therefore I affirm it in your presence. I tell that man
who insulted me that I dont give a damn for him. And neither I do.
TARLETON. I say, Summerhays: did you have chaps of this sort in
Jinghiskahn?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Oh yes: they exist everywhere: they are a most
serious modern problem.
GUNNER. Yes. Youre right. _[Conceitedly]_ I'm a problem. And I
tell you that when we clerks realize that we're problems! well, look
out: thats all.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. _[suavely, to Gunner]_ You read a great deal, you
say?
GUNNER. Ive read more than any man in this room, if the truth were
known, I expect. Thats whats going to smash up your Capitalism. The
problems are beginning to read. Ha! We're free to do that here in
England. What would you do with me in Jinghiskahn if you had me
there?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Well, since you ask me so directly, I'll tell you.
I should take advantage of the fact that you have neither sense enough
nor strength enough to know how to behave yourself in a difficulty of
any sort. I should warn an intelligent and ambitious policeman that
you are a troublesome person. The intelligent and ambitious policeman
would take an early opportunity of upsetting your temper by ordering
you to move on, and treading on your heels until you were provoked
into obstructing an officer in the discharge of his duty. Any trifle
of that sort would be sufficient to make a man like you lose your
self-possession and put yourself in the wrong. You would then be
charged and imprisoned until things quieted down.
GUNNER. And you call that justice!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. No. Justice was not my business. I had to govern a
province; and I took the necessary steps to maintain order in it. Men
are not governed by justice, but by law or persuasion. When they
refuse to be governed by law or persuasion, they have to be governed
by force or fraud, or both. I used both when law and persuasion
failed me. Every ruler of men since the world began has done so, even
when he has hated both fraud and force as heartily as I do. It is as
well that you should know this, my young friend; so that you may
recognize in time that anarchism is a game at which the police can
beat you. What have you to say to that?
GUNNER. What have I to say to it! Well, I call it scandalous: thats
what I have to say to it.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Precisely: thats all anybody has to say to it,
except the British public, which pretends not to believe it. And now
let me ask you a sympathetic personal question. Havnt you a headache?
GUNNER. Well, since you ask me, I have. Ive overexcited myself.
MRS TARLETON. Poor lad! No wonder, after all youve gone through!
You want to eat a little and to lie down. You come with me. I want
you to tell me about your poor dear mother and about yourself. Come
along with me. _[She leads the way to the inner door]._
GUNNER. _[following her obediently]_ Thank you kindly, madam. _[She
goes out. Before passing out after her, he partly closes the door and
stops an the landing for a moment to say]_ Mind: I'm not knuckling
down to any man here. I knuckle down to Mrs Tarleton because shes a
woman in a thousand. I affirm my manhood all the same. Understand:
I dont give a damn for the lot of you. _[He hurries out, rather
afraid of the consequences of this defiance, which has provoked Johnny
to an impatient movement towards him]._
HYPATIA. Thank goodness hes gone! Oh, what a bore! WHAT a bore!!!
Talk, talk, talk!
TARLETON. Patsy: it's no good. We're going to talk. And we're
going to talk about you.
JOHNNY. It's no use shirking it, Pat. We'd better know where we are.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Come, Miss Tarleton. Wont you sit down? I'm very
tired of standing. _[Hypatia comes from the pavilion and takes a
chair at the worktable. Lord Summerhays takes the opposite chair, on
her right. Percival takes the chair Johnny placed for Lina on her
arrival. Tarleton sits down at the end of the writing table. Johnny
remains standing. Lord Summerhays continues, with a sigh of relief at
being seated.]_ We shall now get the change of subject we are all
pining for.
JOHNNY. _[puzzled]_ Whats that?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. The great question. The question that men and women
will spend hours over without complaining. The question that occupies
all the novel readers and all the playgoers. The question they never
get tired of.
JOHNNY. But what question?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. The question which particular young man some young
woman will mate with.
PERCIVAL. As if it mattered!
HYPATIA. _[sharply]_ Whats that you said?
PERCIVAL. I said: As if it mattered.
HYPATIA. I call that ungentlemanly.
PERCIVAL. Do you care about that? you who are so magnificently
unladylike!
JOHNNY. Look here, Mr Percival: youre not supposed to insult my
sister.
HYPATIA. Oh, shut up, Johnny. I can take care of myself. Dont you
interfere.
JOHNNY. Oh, very well. If you choose to give yourself away like
that--to allow a man to call you unladylike and then to be unladylike,
Ive nothing more to say.
HYPATIA. I think Mr Percival is most ungentlemanly; but I wont be
protected. I'll not have my affairs interfered with by men on
pretence of protecting me. I'm not your baby. If I interfered
between you and a woman, you would soon tell me to mind my own
business.
TARLETON. Children: dont squabble. Read Dr Watts. Behave
yourselves.
JOHNNY. Ive nothing more to say; and as I dont seem to be wanted
here, I shall take myself off. _[He goes out with affected calm
through the pavilion]._
TARLETON. Summerhays: a family is an awful thing, an impossible
thing. Cat and dog. Patsy: I'm ashamed of you.
HYPATIA. I'll make it up with Johnny afterwards; but I really cant
have him here sticking his clumsy hoof into my affairs.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. The question is, Mr Percival, are you really a
gentleman, or are you not?
PERCIVAL. Was Napoleon really a gentleman or was he not? He made the
lady get out of the way of the porter and said, "Respect the burden,
madam." That was behaving like a very fine gentleman; but he kicked
Volney for saying that what France wanted was the Bourbons back again.
That was behaving rather like a navvy. Now I, like Napoleon, am not
all one piece. On occasion, as you have all seen, I can behave like a
gentleman. On occasion, I can behave with a brutal simplicity which
Miss Tarleton herself could hardly surpass.
TARLETON. Gentleman or no gentleman, Patsy: what are your
intentions?
HYPATIA. My intentions! Surely it's the gentleman who should be
asked his intentions.
TARLETON. Come now, Patsy! none of that nonsense. Has Mr Percival
said anything to you that I ought to know or that Bentley ought to
know? Have you said anything to Mr Percival?
HYPATIA. Mr Percival chased me through the heather and kissed me.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. As a gentleman, Mr Percival, what do you say to
that?
PERCIVAL. As a gentleman, I do not kiss and tell. As a mere man: a
mere cad, if you like, I say that I did so at Miss Tarleton's own
suggestion.
HYPATIA. Beast!
PERCIVAL. I dont deny that I enjoyed it. But I did not initiate it.
And I began by running away.
TARLETON. So Patsy can run faster than you, can she?
PERCIVAL. Yes, when she is in pursuit of me. She runs faster and
faster. I run slower and slower. And these woods of yours are full
of magic. There was a confounded fern owl. Did you ever hear the
churr of a fern owl? Did you ever hear it create a sudden silence by
ceasing? Did you ever hear it call its mate by striking its wings
together twice and whistling that single note that no nightingale can
imitate? That is what happened in the woods when I was running away.
So I turned; and the pursuer became the pursued.
HYPATIA. I had to fight like a wild cat.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Please dont tell us this. It's not fit for old
people to hear.
TARLETON. Come: how did it end?
HYPATIA. It's not ended yet.
TARLETON. How is it going to end?
HYPATIA. Ask him.
TARLETON. How is it going to end, Mr Percival?
PERCIVAL. I cant afford to marry, Mr Tarleton. Ive only a thousand a
year until my father dies. Two people cant possibly live on that.
TARLETON. Oh, cant they? When _I_ married, I should have been jolly
glad to have felt sure of the quarter of it.
PERCIVAL. No doubt; but I am not a cheap person, Mr Tarleton. I was
brought up in a household which cost at least seven or eight times
that; and I am in constant money difficulties because I simply dont
know how to live on the thousand a year scale. As to ask a woman to
share my degrading poverty, it's out of the question. Besides, I'm
rather young to marry. I'm only 28.
HYPATIA. Papa: buy the brute for me.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. _[shrinking]_ My dear Miss Tarleton: dont be so
naughty. I know how delightful it is to shock an old man; but there
is a point at which it becomes barbarous. Dont. Please dont.
HYPATIA. Shall I tell Papa about you?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Tarleton: I had better tell you that I once asked
your daughter to become my widow.
TARLETON. _[to Hypatia]_ Why didnt you accept him, you young idiot?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I was too old.
TARLETON. All this has been going on under my nose, I suppose. You
run after young men; and old men run after you. And I'm the last
person in the world to hear of it.
HYPATIA. How could I tell you?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Parents and children, Tarleton.
TARLETON. Oh, the gulf that lies between them! the impassable,
eternal gulf! And so I'm to buy the brute for you, eh?
HYPATIA. If you please, papa.
TARLETON. Whats the price, Mr Percival?
PERCIVAL. We might do with another fifteen hundred if my father would
contribute. But I should like more.
TARLETON. It's purely a question of money with you, is it?
PERCIVAL. _[after a moment's consideration]_ Practically yes: it
turns on that.
TARLETON. I thought you might have some sort of preference for Patsy,
you know.
PERCIVAL. Well, but does that matter, do you think? Patsy fascinates
me, no doubt. I apparently fascinate Patsy. But, believe me, all
that is not worth considering. One of my three fathers (the priest)
has married hundreds of couples: couples selected by one another,
couples selected by the parents, couples forced to marry one another
by circumstances of one kind or another; and he assures me that if
marriages were made by putting all the men's names into one sack and
the women's names into another, and having them taken out by a
blindfolded child like lottery numbers, there would be just as high a
percentage of happy marriages as we have here in England. He said
Cupid was nothing but the blindfolded child: pretty idea that, I
think! I shall have as good a chance with Patsy as with anyone else.
Mind: I'm not bigoted about it. I'm not a doctrinaire: not the
slave of a theory. You and Lord Summerhays are experienced married
men. If you can tell me of any trustworthy method of selecting a
wife, I shall be happy to make use of it. I await your suggestions.
_[He looks with polite attention to Lord Summerhays, who, having
nothing to say, avoids his eye. He looks to Tarleton, who purses his
lips glumly and rattles his money in his pockets without a word]._
Apparently neither of you has anything to suggest. Then Patsy will do
as well as another, provided the money is forthcoming.
HYPATIA. Oh, you beauty, you beauty!
TARLETON. When I married Patsy's mother, I was in love with her.
PERCIVAL. For the first time?
TARLETON. Yes: for the first time.
PERCIVAL. For the last time?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. _[revolted]_ Sir: you are in the presence of his
daughter.
HYPATIA. Oh, dont mind me. I dont care. I'm accustomed to Papa's
adventures.
TARLETON. _[blushing painfully]_ Patsy, my child: that was not--not
delicate.
HYPATIA. Well, papa, youve never shewn any delicacy in talking to me
about my conduct; and I really dont see why I shouldnt talk to you
about yours. It's such nonsense! Do you think young people dont
know?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I'm sure they dont feel. Tarleton: this is too
horrible, too brutal. If neither of these young people have
any--any--any--
PERCIVAL. Shall we say paternal sentimentality? I'm extremely sorry
to shock you; but you must remember that Ive been educated to discuss
human affairs with three fathers simultaneously. I'm an adult person.
Patsy is an adult person. You do not inspire me with veneration.
Apparently you do not inspire Patsy with veneration. That may
surprise you. It may pain you. I'm sorry. It cant be helped. What
about the money?
TARLETON. You dont inspire me with generosity, young man.
HYPATIA. _[laughing with genuine amusement]_ He had you there, Joey.
TARLETON. I havnt been a bad father to you, Patsy.
HYPATIA. I dont say you have, dear. If only I could persuade you Ive
grown up, we should get along perfectly.
TARLETON. Do you remember Bill Burt?
HYPATIA. Why?
TARLETON. _[to the others]_ Bill Burt was a laborer here. I was
going to sack him for kicking his father. He said his father had
kicked him until he was big enough to kick back. Patsy begged him
off. I asked that man what it felt like the first time he kicked his
father, and found that it was just like kicking any other man. He
laughed and said that it was the old man that knew what it felt like.
Think of that, Summerhays! think of that!
HYPATIA. I havnt kicked you, papa.
TARLETON. Youve kicked me harder than Bill Burt ever kicked.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. It's no use, Tarleton. Spare yourself. Do you
seriously expect these young people, at their age, to sympathize with
what this gentleman calls your paternal sentimentality?
TARLETON. _[wistfully]_ Is it nothing to you but paternal
sentimentality, Patsy?
HYPATIA. Well, I greatly prefer your superabundant vitality, papa.
TARLETON. _[violently]_ Hold your tongue, you young devil. The
young are all alike: hard, coarse, shallow, cruel, selfish,
dirty-minded. You can clear out of my house as soon as you can coax
him to take you; and the sooner the better. _[To Percival]_ I think
you said your price was fifteen hundred a year. Take it. And I wish
you joy of your bargain.
PERCIVAL. If you wish to know who I am--
TARLETON. I dont care a tinker's curse who you are or what you are.
Youre willing to take that girl off my hands for fifteen hundred a
year: thats all that concerns me. Tell her who you are if you like:
it's her affair, not mine.
HYPATIA. Dont answer him, Joey: it wont last. Lord Summerhays, I'm
sorry about Bentley; but Joey's the only man for me.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. It may--
HYPATIA. Please dont say it may break your poor boy's heart. It's
much more likely to break yours.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Oh!
TARLETON. _[springing to his feet]_ Leave the room. Do you hear:
leave the room.
PERCIVAL. Arnt we getting a little cross? Dont be angry, Mr
Tarleton. Read Marcus Aurelius.
TARLETON. Dont you dare make fun of me. Take your aeroplane out of
my vinery and yourself out of my house.
PERCIVAL. _[rising, to Hypatia]_ I'm afraid I shall have to dine at
the Beacon, Patsy.
HYPATIA. _[rising]_ Do. I dine with you.
TARLETON. Did you hear me tell you to leave the room?
HYPATIA. I did. _[To Percival]_ You see what living with one's
parents means, Joey. It means living in a house where you can be
ordered to leave the room. Ive got to obey: it's his house, not
mine.
TARLETON. Who pays for it? Go and support yourself as I did if you
want to be independent.
HYPATIA. I wanted to and you wouldnt let me. How can I support
myself when I'm a prisoner?
TARLETON. Hold your tongue.
HYPATIA. Keep your temper.
PERCIVAL. _[coming between them]_ Lord Summerhays: youll join me,
I'm sure, in pointing out to both father and daughter that they have
now reached that very common stage in family life at which anything
but a blow would be an anti-climax. Do you seriously want to beat
Patsy, Mr Tarleton?
TARLETON. Yes. I want to thrash the life out of her. If she doesnt
get out of my reach, I'll do it. _[He sits down and grasps the
writing table to restrain himself]._
HYPATIA. _[coolly going to him and leaning with her breast on his
writhing shoulders]_ Oh, if you want to beat me just to relieve your
feelings--just really and truly for the fun of it and the satisfaction
of it, beat away. I dont grudge you that.
TARLETON. _[almost in hysterics]_ I used to think that this sort of
thing went on in other families but that it never could happen in
ours. And now-- _[He is broken with emotion, and continues
lamentably]_ I cant say the right thing. I cant do the right thing.
I dont know what is the right thing. I'm beaten; and she knows it.
Summerhays: tell me what to do.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. When my council in Jinghiskahn reached the point of
coming to blows, I used to adjourn the sitting. Let us postpone the
discussion. Wait until Monday: we shall have Sunday to quiet down
in. Believe me, I'm not making fun of you; but I think theres
something in this young gentleman's advice. Read something.
TARLETON. I'll read King Lear.
HYPATIA. Dont. I'm very sorry, dear.
TARLETON. Youre not. Youre laughing at me. Serve me right! Parents
and children! No man should know his own child. No child should know
its own father. Let the family be rooted out of civilization! Let
the human race be brought up in institutions!
HYPATIA. Oh yes. How jolly! You and I might be friends then; and
Joey could stay to dinner.
TARLETON. Let him stay to dinner. Let him stay to breakfast. Let
him spend his life here. Dont you say I drove him out. Dont you say
I drove you out.
PERCIVAL. I really have no right to inflict myself on you. Dropping
in as I did--
TARLETON. Out of the sky. Ha! Dropping in. The new sport of
aviation. You just see a nice house; drop in; scoop up the man's
daughter; and off with you again.
_Bentley comes back, with his shoulders hanging as if he too had been
exercised to the last pitch of fatigue. He is very sad. They stare
at him as he gropes to Percival's chair._
BENTLEY. I'm sorry for making a fool of myself. I beg your pardon.
Hypatia: I'm awfully sorry; but Ive made up my mind that I'll never
marry. _[He sits down in deep depression]._
HYPATIA. _[running to him]_ How nice of you, Bentley! Of course you
guessed I wanted to marry Joey. What did the Polish lady do to you?
BENTLEY. _[turning his head away]_ I'd rather not speak of her, if
you dont mind.
HYPATIA. Youve fallen in love with her. _[She laughs]._
BENTLEY. It's beastly of you to laugh.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Youre not the first to fall today under the lash of
that young lady's terrible derision, Bentley.
_Lina, her cap on, and her goggles in her hand, comes impetuously
through the inner door._
LINA. _[on the steps]_ Mr Percival: can we get that aeroplane
started again? _[She comes down and runs to the pavilion door]._ I
must get out of this into the air: right up into the blue.
PERCIVAL. Impossible. The frame's twisted. The petrol has given
out: thats what brought us down. And how can we get a clear run to
start with among these woods?
LINA. _[swooping back through the middle of the pavilion]_ We can
straighten the frame. We can buy petrol at the Beacon. With a few
laborers we can get her out on to the Portsmouth Road and start her
along that.
TARLETON. _[rising]_ But why do you want to leave us, Miss Szcz?
LINA. Old pal: this is a stuffy house. You seem to think of nothing
but making love. All the conversation here is about love-making. All
the pictures are about love-making. The eyes of all of you are
sheep's eyes. You are steeped in it, soaked in it: the very texts on
the walls of your bedrooms are the ones about love. It is disgusting.
It is not healthy. Your women are kept idle and dressed up for no
other purpose than to be made love to. I have not been here an hour;
and already everybody makes love to me as if because I am a woman it
were my profession to be made love to. First you, old pal. I forgave
you because you were nice about your wife.
HYPATIA. Oh! oh! oh! Oh, papa!
LINA. Then you, Lord Summerhays, come to me; and all you have to say
is to ask me not to mention that you made love to me in Vienna two
years ago. I forgave you because I thought you were an ambassador;
and all ambassadors make love and are very nice and useful to people
who travel. Then this young gentleman. He is engaged to this young
lady; but no matter for that: he makes love to me because I carry him
off in my arms when he cries. All these I bore in silence. But now
comes your Johnny and tells me I'm a ripping fine woman, and asks me
to marry him. I, Lina Szczepanowska, MARRY him!!!!! I do not mind
this boy: he is a child: he loves me: I should have to give him
money and take care of him: that would be foolish, but honorable. I
do not mind you, old pal: you are what you call an old--ouf! but you
do not offer to buy me: you say until we are tired--until you are so
happy that you dare not ask for more. That is foolish too, at your
age; but it is an adventure: it is not dishonorable. I do not mind
Lord Summerhays: it was in Vienna: they had been toasting him at a
great banquet: he was not sober. That is bad for the health; but it
is not dishonorable. But your Johnny! Oh, your Johnny! with his
marriage. He will do the straight thing by me. He will give me a
home, a position. He tells me I must know that my present position is
not one for a nice woman. This to me, Lina Szczepanowska! I am an
honest woman: I earn my living. I am a free woman: I live in my own
house. I am a woman of the world: I have thousands of friends:
every night crowds of people applaud me, delight in me, buy my
picture, pay hard-earned money to see me. I am strong: I am skilful:
I am brave: I am independent: I am unbought: I am all that a woman
ought to be; and in my family there has not been a single drunkard for
four generations. And this Englishman! this linendraper! he dares to
ask me to come and live with him in this rrrrrrrabbit hutch, and take
my bread from his hand, and ask him for pocket money, and wear soft
clothes, and be his woman! his wife! Sooner than that, I would stoop
to the lowest depths of my profession. I would stuff lions with food
and pretend to tame them. I would deceive honest people's eyes with
conjuring tricks instead of real feats of strength and skill. I would
be a clown and set bad examples of conduct to little children. I
would sink yet lower and be an actress or an opera singer, imperilling
my soul by the wicked lie of pretending to be somebody else. All this
I would do sooner than take my bread from the hand of a man and make
him the master of my body and soul. And so you may tell your Johnny
to buy an Englishwoman: he shall not buy Lina Szczepanowska; and I
will not stay in the house where such dishonor is offered me. Adieu.
_[She turns precipitately to go, but is faced in the pavilion doorway
by Johnny, who comes in slowly, his hands in his pockets, meditating
deeply]._
JOHNNY. _[confidentially to Lina]_ You wont mention our little
conversation, Miss Shepanoska. It'll do no good; and I'd rather you
didnt.
TARLETON. Weve just heard about it, Johnny.
JOHNNY. _[shortly, but without ill-temper]_ Oh: is that so?
HYPATIA. The cat's out of the bag, Johnny, about everybody. They
were all beforehand with you: papa, Lord Summerhays, Bentley and all.
Dont you let them laugh at you.
JOHNNY. _[a grin slowly overspreading his countenance]_ Well, theres
no use my pretending to be surprised at you, Governor, is there? I
hope you got it as hot as I did. Mind, Miss Shepanoska: it wasnt
lost on me. I'm a thinking man. I kept my temper. Youll admit that.
LINA. _[frankly]_ Oh yes. I do not quarrel. You are what is called
a chump; but you are not a bad sort of chump.
JOHNNY. Thank you. Well, if a chump may have an opinion, I should
put it at this. You make, I suppose, ten pounds a night off your own
bat, Miss Lina?
LINA. _[scornfully]_ Ten pounds a night! I have made ten pounds a
minute.
JOHNNY. _[with increased respect]_ Have you indeed? I didnt know:
youll excuse my mistake, I hope. But the principle is the same. Now
I trust you wont be offended at what I'm going to say; but Ive thought
about this and watched it in daily experience; and you may take it
from me that the moment a woman becomes pecuniarily independent, she
gets hold of the wrong end of the stick in moral questions.
LINA. Indeed! And what do you conclude from that, Mister Johnny?
JOHNNY. Well, obviously, that independence for women is wrong and
shouldnt be allowed. For their own good, you know. And for the good
of morality in general. You agree with me, Lord Summerhays, dont you?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. It's a very moral moral, if I may so express myself.
_Mrs Tarleton comes in softly through the inner door._
MRS TARLETON. Dont make too much noise. The lad's asleep.
TARLETON. Chickabiddy: we have some news for you.
JOHNNY. _[apprehensively]_ Now theres no need, you know, Governor,
to worry mother with everything that passes.
MRS TARLETON. _[coming to Tarleton]_ Whats been going on? Dont you
hold anything back from me, John. What have you been doing?
TARLETON. Bentley isnt going to marry Patsy.
MRS TARLETON. Of course not. Is that your great news? I never
believed she'd marry him.
TARLETON. Theres something else. Mr Percival here--
MRS TARLETON. _[to Percival]_ Are you going to marry Patsy?
PERCIVAL _[diplomatically]_ Patsy is going to marry me, with your
permission.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, she has my permission: she ought to have been
married long ago.
HYPATIA. Mother!
TARLETON. Miss Lina here, though she has been so short a time with
us, has inspired a good deal of attachment in--I may say in almost all
of us. Therefore I hope she'll stay to dinner, and not insist on
flying away in that aeroplane.
PERCIVAL. You must stay, Miss Szczepanowska. I cant go up again this
evening.
LINA. Ive seen you work it. Do you think I require any help? And
Bentley shall come with me as a passenger.
BENTLEY. _[terrified]_ Go up in an aeroplane! I darent.
LINA. You must learn to dare.
BENTLEY. _[pale but heroic]_ All right. I'll come.
LORD SUMMERHAYS| No, no, Bentley, impossible. I
| shall not allow it.
|
MRS TARLETON. | Do you want to kill the child? He shant go.
BENTLEY. I will. I'll lie down and yell until you let me go. I'm
not a coward. I wont be a coward.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Miss Szczepanowska: my son is very dear to me. I
implore you to wait until tomorrow morning.
LINA. There may be a storm tomorrow. And I'll go: storm or no
storm. I must risk my life tomorrow.
BENTLEY. I hope there will be a storm.
LINA. _[grasping his arm]_ You are trembling.
BENTLEY. Yes: it's terror, sheer terror. I can hardly see. I can
hardly stand. But I'll go with you.
LINA. _[slapping him on the back and knocking a ghastly white smile
into his face]_ You shall. I like you, my boy. We go tomorrow,
together.
BENTLEY. Yes: together: tomorrow.
TARLETON. Well, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Read
the old book.
MRS TARLETON. Is there anything else?
TARLETON. Well, I--er _[he addresses Lina, and stops]._ I--er _[he
addresses Lord Summerhays, and stops]._ I--er _[he gives it up]._
Well, I suppose--er--I suppose theres nothing more to be said.
HYPATIA. _[fervently]_ Thank goodness!
